Things That Make You Go... WTF?

Schrodinger's Zebra

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LMFAO never , in a microwave it will have maybe two times, not one huge one and certainly not that long, ever, it was meant for the oven if it is from frozen, i may add. And sharing with her mate, seriously, nope, not big enough to share, especially if it was that price
I'm atrociously bad at cooking but even I would think twice before I put 45 minutes into a microwave timer. I can't think of anything that would require 45 minutes of microwaves.

Except maybe a really big cottage pie. Like the size of a house, or summat.

Cottage pie is a meat thing, right? Speaking as a veggie who's never eaten one or seen anyone eat one. Cos it's hard to tell from the photo, you know.
 
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So my story is shit?
It's been doing the rounds for a while and I had my suspicions but it does a good job of tapping into conservative's fears. I'd say though with stuff like that Desmond boy-girl dancing around in drag at the Pride parade it's correct to be wary about what's going on in the world these days. Against a backdrop of all the crazy things happening stories like that seem almost plausible
 

Shady

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I'm atrociously bad at cooking but even I would think twice before I put 45 minutes into a microwave timer. I can't think of anything that would require 45 minutes of microwaves.

Except maybe a really big cottage pie. Like the size of a house, or summat.

Cottage pie is a meat thing, right? Speaking as a veggie who's never eaten one or seen anyone eat one. Cos it's hard to tell from the photo, you know.
Yes, me to, but you are correct, minced beef with tater on the top, she obviously skipped thro the instructions
 

Yithian

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Re: the cost of the microwave meal.

Tradition dictates that The Mail tells you the county and the value of their home, The Sun tells you her age and hair colour and The Mirror the name of the local football club and nearest resident celebrity.

The Guardian omits most of this supplementary information but spells her name wrong.
 

escargot

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Now this is what I call real journalism - eat yer hearts out Woodward and Bernstein!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...cottage-pie-putting-MICROWAVE-45-minutes.html
Not being willing to click the Heil I'm going here on Zebs' outline of events.

Seems the customer has misread the instructions and cooked the food in the microwave for the time it'd need in the oven, possibly from frozen.

An elderly relation of ours used to do this because she'd forget the microwave wasn't an oven and would set the control for 30 minutes or whatever, then go off and forgot she'd done it.
That's how dementia works, you sort of remember parts of things and can mix them up.

She burned out three microwaves and was rescued from quite serious fire/smoke situations before we were able to get her into more appropriate accommodation.
 

Cochise

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People who don't read instructions, eh?
Don't get me started.
I in fact - atypically for a male - do read the instructions and won't let the wife or child touch whatever it is until it has been assembled properly. This has lead to tears and tantrums on several occasions.

Edit - counter example. One Friday night we noticed water dripping from the hot water tank (completely different occasion to above). I said, look just stick a bucket under it and wait until we can get a plumber on Monday, because we can't see where the drip is coming from. My recommendation, just turn off the taps to the tank and don't bother with a bath or washing your hair until the plumber has been. Wifey gets impatient, calls her friend, who sends her boyfriend around who clearly has been pumped full of testosterone in that he is going to save a damsel in distress and prove what a wimp her bloke is. .

First thing he says 'lets get the insulation off the tank and see where the leak is'. But this time my awkward gene has got hit and I just stay in the background, knowing modern hot water tanks have a very thin skin of copper that is essentially held together by the insulation. Sure enough he sticks his Bowie knife or crowbar or todger or whatever under the insulation and STRAINS - whereupon the tank simply ruptures from top to bottom and dumps umpteen gallons of hot water into the dining room. What an arse.

At least the resultant recriminations between Wifey and the friend resulted in said friend kicking the chap with his brains in his bollocks out.
 
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Timble2

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Now this is what I call real journalism - eat yer hearts out Woodward and Bernstein!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...cottage-pie-putting-MICROWAVE-45-minutes.html
What says even more about the state of journalism, is the fact that the Daily Hate Mail has lifted this from The Scum. A classic example of the Daily Mail's method of filling up its website by plonking the work experience kid in front of a PC and telling them to rip off research the competitions' stories.
 
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Mythopoeika

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First thing he says 'lets get the insulation off the tank and see where the leak is'. But this time my awkward gene has got hit and I just stay in the background, knowing modern hot water tanks have a very thin skin of copper that is essentially held together by the insulation. Sure enough he sticks his Bowie knife or crowbar or todger or whatever under the insulation and STRAINS - whereupon the tank simply ruptures from top to bottom and dumps umpteen gallons of hot water into the dining room. What an arse.

At least the resultant recriminations between Wifey and the friend resulted in said friend kicking the chap with his brains in his bollocks out.
I do hope he paid for the damage. What an arse.
 

Cochise

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I do hope he paid for the damage. What an arse.
No. He was a bum who was sponging off the friend in the first place. She was a university lecturer, he was what we might politely call a house husband.

Subtext - even the highly intelligent can make fools of themselves over sex. (I know I have - of course my qualifications as 'highly intelligent' are debatable).
 

Cochise

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What says even more about the state of journalism, is the fact that the Daily Hate Mail has lifted this from The Scum. A classic example of the Daily Mail's method of filling up its website by plonking the work experience kid in front of a PC and telling them to rip off research the competitions' stories.
Timble, I've noticed that for the last 12 months or so the Mail and the Sun seem to be two cheeks of the same arse - they have the same lead stories reported almost identically - only the editorial stance differs, the Mail being more pro-Mayist than the Sun. Most people I know won't read either of them. However I do, because it's always a useful reference point to know what the idiots are on about.

I don't tell anyone in Liverpool I check out the Sun though - it's still banned there.
 

GingerTabby

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I'm atrociously bad at cooking but even I would think twice before I put 45 minutes into a microwave timer. I can't think of anything that would require 45 minutes of microwaves.

Except maybe a really big cottage pie. Like the size of a house, or summat.

Cottage pie is a meat thing, right? Speaking as a veggie who's never eaten one or seen anyone eat one. Cos it's hard to tell from the photo, you know.
My brother-in-law did something similar many years ago. He's a lovely man but it would be an understatement to say that he isn't the most technologically-minded individual. One day he wanted to heat up a piece of leftover meat so he set the microwave timer for 60 minutes. At some before the 60-minute mark the microwave overheated and the door blew off. The result was that the kitchen was covered in pieces of meat. The dog was frightened by the incident and my sister was furious.
 

cycleboy2

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My brother-in-law did something similar many years ago. He's a lovely man but it would be an understatement to say that he isn't the most technologically-minded individual. One day he wanted to heat up a piece of leftover meat so he set the microwave timer for 60 minutes. At some before the 60-minute mark the microwave overheated and the door blew off. The result was that the kitchen was covered in pieces of meat. The dog was frightened by the incident and my sister was furious.
Somewhere inside my head I can hear Michael Caine intoning "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

When we first got a microwave my brother and me decided to see what would happen if you cook an egg (in its shell) in the microwave, the instructions warning against it. Not being totally stupid we put it in a sealed glass casserole dish, fired the Bejam (!) device up to full whack and watched... and watched. After five minutes or so (this was decades ago so could be longer) and BANG! It exploded in a casserole-messing sploosh. On opening the casserole the smell was truly horrific, hellish, but the microwave was undamaged and the casserole cleaned up easily.
 

Ladyloafer

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Cyclist who collided with a jaywalker, who stepped into the road whist engrossed with her mobile, could be hit with a financially ruinous £100,000 bill.

The law really is an ass.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...to-woman-mobile-phone-pay-compensation-london
One of the problems is he defended himself in court and didn't counter sue. The judge said they were both responsible.
I wouldn't be surprised if someone doesn't set up a gofundme for him, because it is a woefully stupid situation.
 

Cochise

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One of the problems is he defended himself in court and didn't counter sue. The judge said they were both responsible.
I wouldn't be surprised if someone doesn't set up a gofundme for him, because it is a woefully stupid situation.
A classic example of 'A person who defends themselves in court has an idiot for a client'.
 

Tempest63

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Cyclist who collided with a jaywalker, who stepped into the road whist engrossed with her mobile, could be hit with a financially ruinous £100,000 bill.

The law really is an ass.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...to-woman-mobile-phone-pay-compensation-london
I do have a little sympathy for the cyclist in this case as I detest those who walk aimlessly through the City of London totally engrossed in their phones and walk into me on a near daily basis; I have a premonition that some day one of them will end up wearing my customary black americano.
However, trying to cross a street (no roads in the City) in the City is a life threatening exercise due to the cycling Nazis who feel they have a God given right to use any part of any road, pavement or pedestrian crossing without regard to those on foot. The times I stand there wishing I had a pick-handle close by!

So on balance I’m with the judge; they’re both a pair of knobs!
 

Analogue Boy

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The more I read, the more I think every day is April Fool’s Day.
Then I remember Red Dwarf writer Rob Grant’s excellent novel ‘Incompetence’ and think it wasn’t just an extrapolation for comedic effect but should now be seen as a handbook on how to approach our future lives.

The story features a detective called Harry Salt who lives in a future scenario where PC madness has not only taken hold but hinders absolutely every single action in normal life.

The wiki...

On the way, he is hindered by the fact that practically everyone he meets has a serious character flaw and/or mental deficiency. Another ongoing problem is his inability to acquire or hang onto a decent pair of shoes, primarily as all shoes in the "United States of Europe" are made of vegetable matter. A number of new mental disorders have apparently been classified in the book's universe, such as Sexually Inappropriate Response and Non-Specific Stupidity.

Examples of incompetence in the world around the agent are:

  • Records that are incomplete, contradict other documents, or are simply false (such as death certificates issued for living people).
  • Police who obliterate all evidence by walking casually through a crime scene.
  • Inaccurate local guides and transport.
  • People who cannot work the basic equipment they are paid to use.
The plot appears to be based on the film The Third Man. The film is mentioned in the drunken conversation between Salt and Klingferm near the start of the book.’



The book was written on 2003 and I think we’re already nearly there.
 

Mythopoeika

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The more I read, the more I think every day is April Fool’s Day.
Then I remember Red Dwarf writer Rob Grant’s excellent novel ‘Incompetence’ and think it wasn’t just an extrapolation for comedic effect but should now be seen as a handbook on how to approach our future lives.

The story features a detective called Harry Salt who lives in a future scenario where PC madness has not only taken hold but hinders absolutely every single action in normal life.

The wiki...

On the way, he is hindered by the fact that practically everyone he meets has a serious character flaw and/or mental deficiency. Another ongoing problem is his inability to acquire or hang onto a decent pair of shoes, primarily as all shoes in the "United States of Europe" are made of vegetable matter. A number of new mental disorders have apparently been classified in the book's universe, such as Sexually Inappropriate Response and Non-Specific Stupidity.

Examples of incompetence in the world around the agent are:

  • Records that are incomplete, contradict other documents, or are simply false (such as death certificates issued for living people).
  • Police who obliterate all evidence by walking casually through a crime scene.
  • Inaccurate local guides and transport.
  • People who cannot work the basic equipment they are paid to use.
The plot appears to be based on the film The Third Man. The film is mentioned in the drunken conversation between Salt and Klingferm near the start of the book.’



The book was written on 2003 and I think we’re already nearly there.
I read that a while back. Worth a read.
 

blessmycottonsocks

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I do have a little sympathy for the cyclist in this case as I detest those who walk aimlessly through the City of London totally engrossed in their phones and walk into me on a near daily basis; I have a premonition that some day one of them will end up wearing my customary black americano.
However, trying to cross a street (no roads in the City) in the City is a life threatening exercise due to the cycling Nazis who feel they have a God given right to use any part of any road, pavement or pedestrian crossing without regard to those on foot. The times I stand there wishing I had a pick-handle close by!

So on balance I’m with the judge; they’re both a pair of knobs!
And the real villains here are the legal leeches who can make £100k out of a few hours in court.
 

hunck

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Seems ludicrous & totally unfair. He's got lumbered with the court costs because he didn't make a claim whereas she did.

The judge, Shanti Mauger, said both were equally to blame for the incident on a busy junction near London Bridge, but only Brushett was entitled to a payout because she had put in a claim and Hazeldean had not.

Mauger said: “Ms Brushett and Mr Hazeldean were equally culpable in this accident and Mr Hazeldean, for whatever reason, hasn’t made a claim and so only Ms Brushett is getting a payout.”

Hazeldean said he realised he should have put in a counter-claim at the start of case but was reluctant to do so because he disliked the “claim culture”. He added: “Had I had legal representation at the time of preparing my defence, I would have taken those steps to protect myself.”
If he sets up a crowdfunding page I reckon he'll do OK but that's beside the point. What would've happened had he made a claim as well - would the costs be paid from public funds?
 

Cochise

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Seems ludicrous & totally unfair. He's got lumbered with the court costs because he didn't make a claim whereas she did.



If he sets up a crowdfunding page I reckon he'll do OK but that's beside the point. What would've happened had he made a claim as well - would the costs be paid from public funds?
It is 'real world' unfair but that's what happens if you don't take the legal process seriously by failing to hire someone who actually knows how it works.
 

hunck

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It is 'real world' unfair but that's what happens if you don't take the legal process seriously by failing to hire someone who actually knows how it works.
Yes I get that, just expressing some sympathy with a guy in a 50/50 verdict who's come out with 100% costs.

What about my last question - does anyone know the answer to this?
 

Schrodinger's Zebra

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Yes I get that, just expressing some sympathy with a guy in a 50/50 verdict who's come out with 100% costs.

What about my last question - does anyone know the answer to this?
Not sure actually... they wouldn't cancel each other out or something, would they? Like... each person would be paying the other so in effect they'd each get nothing? :dunno:

I tried googling and found this https://www.inbrief.co.uk/civil-court/pay-court-costs/ but I don't know if that's quite what you're looking for?
 

Schrodinger's Zebra

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In the old days, they’d sort this out by issuing a PFI entitled ‘Don’t be a Dick’.
Now it seems there has to be a clear victim in a judicial play.
Yes! And then with suitably 'received pronunciation' accents, the actors would show us how we should approach the situation.

"Oh, I do beg your pardon, Sir. Do go on."

"No, you go first."

"Why thank you." :hoff:
 
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