Things That Make You Go... WTF?

[GNC]

In Glasgow Ikea, police were called to prevent a huge game of hide and seek this weekend:
Horrendously formatted and advert-ridden news story

Apparently this is a "thing" across the world, but Glasgow cops were having none of it (well, large gatherings have not gone well here, recently). Anyway, this was news to me. I couldn't play hide and seek now, what if I was just left in my hiding place for the whole day?

 

[maximus otter]

In Glasgow Ikea, police were called to prevent a huge game of hide and seek this weekend:
Horrendously formatted and advert-ridden news story

Apparently this is a "thing" across the world, but Glasgow cops were having none of it (well, large gatherings have not gone well here, recently). Anyway, this was news to me. I couldn't play hide and seek now, what if I was just left in my hiding place for the whole day?

It’s a sad state of affairs when you can’t even take your family out for a nice lunch of horse meatballs without being annoyed by overstimulated Weegies.

maximus otter

 

[mikfez]

The bizarre plan to build a Butlins in the middle of Hull invisible to the Nazis
The proposal would see the aptly named “Blackout Amusement Park” situated in marquees that would be kept dark during the blackouts and air raids so as not to attract attention.

 

[Frideswide]

Anyway, this was news to me.

I think I must move in different circles to the hide and seek people!

It’s a sad state of affairs when you can’t even take your family out for a nice lunch of horse meatballs without being annoyed by overstimulated Weegies.

:mattack:

 

[GingerTabby]

This is one redundancy meeting the HR people won't soon forget:

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-49708570

 

[Swifty]

.... so about 3 months ago, I was walking past a local woman's house I'm friendly with but not mates with as such. We just get along. She's got a daughter in her late teens, her Mum's very pretty, so is her daughter, in fact some people mistake them for each other.

**** (the daughter) standing in her front garden struck up some small talk with me which ended with " .. so would you mind getting me a bottle of wine?"

"I won't be getting you a bottle of wine sorry no. I'm friends with your Mum. Are you OK because I can lend you a fiver but I'll need to tell her when I see her again?"

"Thanks. I'll be in the house .. if you need me"

fuck.that.

 

[Mythopoeika]

.... so about 3 months ago, I was walking past a local woman's house I'm friendly with but not mates with as such. We just get along. She's got a daughter in her late teens, her Mum's very pretty, so is her daughter, in fact some people mistake them for each other.

**** (the daughter) standing in her front garden struck up some small talk with me which ended with " .. so would you mind getting me a bottle of wine?"

"I won't be getting you a bottle of wine sorry no. I'm friends with your Mum. Are you OK because I can lend you a fiver but I'll need to tell her when I see her again?"

"Thanks. I'll be in the house .. if you need me"

fuck.that.

Just walk away. Hassle you don't need.

 

[Swifty]

Just walk away. Hassle you don't need.

Tell me about it .. slightly flattering but freaky and peril alarm bells at the same time. She must have a thing for older men. I wouldn't even 'go there' if I was single. The Mrs finds it hilarious.

 

[Shady]

Danger danger, you are not daft my dear Swifty X And good ya told ya Mrs

 

[Krepostnoi]

I think I must move in different circles to the hide and seek people!

You'd be unbeatable if you played, then.

 

[escargot]

.... so about 3 months ago, I was walking past a local woman's house I'm friendly with but not mates with as such. We just get along. She's got a daughter in her late teens, her Mum's very pretty, so is her daughter, in fact some people mistake them for each other.

**** (the daughter) standing in her front garden struck up some small talk with me which ended with " .. so would you mind getting me a bottle of wine?"

"I won't be getting you a bottle of wine sorry no. I'm friends with your Mum. Are you OK because I can lend you a fiver but I'll need to tell her when I see her again?"

"Thanks. I'll be in the house .. if you need me"

fuck.that.

Reminds me of the story someone told me about a woman he knows who's a hopeless drug addict.

A couple of years ago he bumped into her in town and they chatted, and she suddenly said 'I could do with twenty quid if you need a woman!'
After he finished nearly choking from the shock, he mumbled er no ta y'er all right luv and rolled his wheelchair away.

Next time he saw her she was feeling better and apologised profusely.

 

[Kryptonite]

Reminds me of the story someone told me about a woman he knows who's a hopeless drug addict.

A couple of years ago he bumped into her in town and they chatted, and she suddenly said 'I could do with twenty quid if you need a woman!'
After he finished nearly choking from the shock, he mumbled er no ta y'er all right luv and rolled his wheelchair away.

Next time he saw her she was feeling better and apologised profusely.

I used to work in a building that was in a red-light district many years ago. A colleague of mine left work late one night and took a shortcut up a side-street to the train station. As he walked past a doorway, he saw a woman crouched down defecating.

A mere couple of minutes later, he realised he'd left something in work and turned back. As he got to the doorway, the same woman, with her tights now pulled up, propositioned him.

(He says he said no)

 

[escargot]

the same woman, with her tights now pulled up, propositioned him.

Just think, if he'd been a coprophiliac she could've killed two birds with one stone.

 

[Swifty]

Nice.

 

[EnolaGaia]

Wander off to take a nap in the middle of burning love letters inside your apartment ... What could possibly go wrong?

Woman burning love letters sparks Nebraska apartment fire

It seems this love was too hot to handle.

Police in Lincoln say a 19-year-old woman sparked an apartment fire Monday by burning love letters from her ex in her bedroom.

Police say the woman used a butane torch to burn the letters and left some of them of the floor. She then went to another room to take a nap. Police say she awoke a short time later to find the carpet on fire.

Firefighters were able to extinguish the fire within minutes. Officials say the fire caused an estimated $4,000 in damage to the building. No one was injured.

The woman was cited for negligent burning.

SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/19587b6bfbc34b8cbd011487d82859d5

 

[Xanatic*]

She's 19. I'm just pleased it wasn't simply love text messages. #smooches

 

[EnolaGaia]

Lint ... Lots of it ... All to make a giant ball of it ... And then to publicly burn the ball ... And to film the burning for a public service announcement (PSA) ... About lint ...

Michigan company amassing world's largest ball of lint

A Michigan-based business is aiming for a Guinness record with a gargantuan ball of lint that will be set on fire after weighing.

Dryer Vent Wizard, based in Farmington Hills, said it has been collecting lint from its 95 franchises around the country since April and the stash will be officially weighed Thursday at the company's headquarters.

The company said Guinness World Records officials set the goal for the record at 99 pounds, but officials believe the giant lint ball will weigh in at over 1,000 pounds.

The ball will be weighed on a construction crane before being set on fire to help raise awareness of the dangers of fires started by dryer lint. The Farmington Hills Fire Department will be on hand to put the fire out, officials said.

SOURCE: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2019/0...rlds-largest-ball-of-lint/4761568827000/?sl=4

 

[Swifty]

"Nan want's to sell her TV" NSFW boobs

Spoiler: NSFW

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/681149262370727/

 

[ChasFink]

"Nan want's to sell her TV" NSFW boobs

Spoiler: NSFW

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/681149262370727/

Someone better post a screen shot here for posterity - that can't last very long.

 

[Swifty]

Someone better post a screen shot here for posterity - that can't last very long.

"posterity" huh?

 

[Mythopoeika]

"posterity" huh?

'Posteriority'.

 

[Austin Popper]

Them are definitely not safe for work.

 

[kamalktk]

Someone better post a screen shot here for posterity - that can't last very long.

Nobody wants to see that.

 

[Yithian]

"Nan want's to sell her TV" NSFW boobs

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/681149262370727/

Can't view on my mobile.

 

[Swifty]

Can't view on my mobile.

I can't really post the pic here mate, it's of someone's presumably unwitting topless Gran reflected off of the screen of the TV she's trying to sell by taking the photo herself. With her love pillows out.

 

[Bigphoot2]

Them are definitely not safe for work.

A serious trip hazard.

 

[Megadeth1977]

I new it the cpu cheats.

 

[EnolaGaia]

Lint ... Lots of it ... All to make a giant ball of it ... And then to publicly burn the ball ... And to film the burning for a public service announcement (PSA) ... About lint ...

Update for closure ... The giant lint ball weighed in at 690 pounds (less than hoped, but many times the weight necessary to be recognized by Guinness as a world's record). It was burned without incident as planned.

Michigan company's 690-pound lint ball sets Guinness record

Guinness World Records said a Michigan company's bid to set a new world record was successful when it amassed a ball of lint weighing in at 690 pounds.

Dryer Vent Wizard of Farmington Hills said it started collecting lint from its locations across the country earlier in the year with an aim toward assembling the world's largest lint ball, and then lighting it on fire.

The company predicted the ball would weigh near 1,000 pounds, easily meeting the Guinness goal of 99 pounds, and the final product was officially weighed at 690 pounds.

The ball was ignited after the official weigh-in and the flames were extinguished by the local fire department.

SOURCE: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2019/0...ball-sets-Guinness-record/6451569005477/?sl=2

 

[michael59]

 

[escargot]

View attachment 20178

*would not purchase*