Things That Make You Go... WTF?

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
26,684
Likes
34,446
Points
284
There was an 'artist' featured on some TV clip over a decade ago who's 'art' consisted of filling a very large (large enough to swim in) glass tank full of human semen .. unsurprisingly, I didn't enthusiastically chase up the progress of his project but he was offering to accept jizz donations from the public .. I'll see if I can re find this 'spunk Damien Hirst' online unless anyone can find it first ..
 

hunck

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jul 13, 2011
Messages
4,514
Likes
5,569
Points
209
Location
Hobbs End
There was an 'artist' featured on some TV clip over a decade ago who's 'art' consisted of filling a very large (large enough to swim in) glass tank full of human semen .. unsurprisingly, I didn't enthusiastically chase up the progress of his project but he was offering to accept jizz donations from the public .. I'll see if I can re find this 'spunk Damien Hirst' online unless anyone can find it first ..
You'd have to wank yourself into oblivion to achieve this on your own. Probably for several years. Maybe he got an Arts Council grant to cover expenses whilst doing so.
 

CarlosTheDJ

Antediluvian
Joined
Feb 1, 2007
Messages
6,093
Likes
6,150
Points
294
Location
Sussex
One of my colleagues has been having big problems with her electricity supplier, it's been going on for weeks and things have got a bit strained on the phone. The other day she received a load of braille and large print paperwork through the post, when she queried it they said "we added you to the accessible contact list as you seem to have trouble understanding us"
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
37,992
Likes
25,702
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
One of my colleagues has been having big problems with her electricity supplier, it's been going on for weeks and things have got a bit strained on the phone. The other day she received a load of braille and large print paperwork through the post, when she queried it they said "we added you to the accessible contact list as you seem to have trouble understanding us"
Looks like they have a wise guy in charge. Escalate up a level, somehow. Send irate email to holding company.
 
Joined
Aug 19, 2003
Messages
49,511
Likes
22,148
Points
284
Location
Eblana
Maybe we shouldn't say break a leg to her regarding her career change. Vid at kink

The scientist who became a full-time hula hooper

Last year, Mariam Olayiwola was struck by a car and broke her leg. Following surgery she spent six weeks in a full leg cast and used that time to re-evaluate her life. After regaining strength in her leg she decided to follow her passion for hula hooping and is now a full-time hula hooper and fire artist.
  • 06 Jan 2020
https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-engl...-scientist-who-became-a-full-time-hula-hooper
 

Shady

Mary Queen of Scots...temping as DEATHS Kitty
Joined
Apr 24, 2011
Messages
8,201
Likes
10,277
Points
284
Nice to know we're still needed somehow Cheryl but I think I'll pass thanks all the same .. as generous an offer as that is and all ..
So, she does want a man then?, cause that's the only way she can get it, from a man
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
26,684
Likes
34,446
Points
284
The back of my head right now ... the Mrs kindly got the clippers out and does a great job normally, doesn't ask for payment etc so I'm very grateful .. but .. the front fell off .. neither of us noticed at the time but that plastic guard had fallen off so now I've got a 'psycho' stripe shaved up the back of my head. It'll look alright in a week. I've got baseball caps.

ahead.jpg
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
14,828
Likes
18,253
Points
309
Location
Out of Bounds
Tip: Leave the drugs at home if you're setting out to go full berserker on the motor vehicle office ...
Police: Long lines at vehicle office send customer into rage

A woman angry about long lines at a New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission office smashed computer equipment, assaulted two staffers and kicked police officers as they tried to arrest her, authorities said.

Shawna Joseph, 28, of Jersey City, was told to leave the office in Bayonne around 2 p.m. Tuesday after she became irate over the length of the line of customers, authorities said. She then returned about two hours later and caused another disturbance.

When she was confronted during the second visit, Joseph pushed the office manager and began breaking computer equipment, authorities said, eventually causing $23,000 in damage overall. ...

The manager and a security guard struggled to remove Joseph from the office, and she repeatedly punched both of them, authorities said. Police soon arrived and, as they and the security guard tried to restrain Joseph, she repeatedly kicked the officers while they attempted to handcuff her ...

Joseph was later found to have a PCP-laced marijuana cigarette in her possession, authorities said. She was charged with criminal mischief, drug possession, aggravated assault and hindering apprehension. ...
FULL STORY: https://apnews.com/1165a12da227dad09ea98e25ffcc477e
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
Messages
6,955
Likes
18,504
Points
294
The back of my head right now ... the Mrs kindly got the clippers out and does a great job normally, doesn't ask for payment etc so I'm very grateful .. but .. the front fell off .. neither of us noticed at the time but that plastic guard had fallen off so now I've got a 'psycho' stripe shaved up the back of my head. It'll look alright in a week. I've got baseball caps.

View attachment 22459
Don't cover it, tell everyone it's the latest fashion and all the coolest people have that style.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
27,538
Likes
26,633
Points
309
Location
HM The Tower of London
The back of my head right now ... the Mrs kindly got the clippers out and does a great job normally, doesn't ask for payment etc so I'm very grateful .. but .. the front fell off .. neither of us noticed at the time but that plastic guard had fallen off so now I've got a 'psycho' stripe shaved up the back of my head. It'll look alright in a week. I've got baseball caps.
:rollingw:
 

hunck

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jul 13, 2011
Messages
4,514
Likes
5,569
Points
209
Location
Hobbs End
The back of my head right now ... the Mrs kindly got the clippers out and does a great job normally, doesn't ask for payment etc so I'm very grateful .. but .. the front fell off .. neither of us noticed at the time but that plastic guard had fallen off so now I've got a 'psycho' stripe shaved up the back of my head. It'll look alright in a week. I've got baseball caps.

View attachment 22459
Was she drunk at the time?
 

Krepostnoi

Viva la Quinta Brigada
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
3,029
Likes
5,816
Points
209
The back of my head right now ... the Mrs kindly got the clippers out and does a great job normally, doesn't ask for payment etc so I'm very grateful .. but .. the front fell off .. neither of us noticed at the time but that plastic guard had fallen off so now I've got a 'psycho' stripe shaved up the back of my head. It'll look alright in a week. I've got baseball caps.

View attachment 22459
Why wouldn't you take it all down to that same level, so at least it looks even? It'd grow back to your desired grade in a week or so.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
26,684
Likes
34,446
Points
284
Why wouldn't you take it all down to that same level, so at least it looks even? It'd grow back to your desired grade in a week or so.
I've never gone grade 0, I'll wear a baseball cap so people don't think I've had a lobotomy plus I'm on holiday for two weeks .. that pic is of after she tried to make it look better lol .. so yep, time will fix it. I'm thinning on the top, not Prince William levels yet but still .. if she'd done it on the top, I'd be worried.

Just for something to do, I've been saving my hair clippings over the last 6 months .. I've got enough to make a hamster so far.

Hairdressers have found my head's shape difficult to cut since I was a teen .. it bamboozles most of them. The Mrs says my head's like Cryton's from Red Dwarf which I think is accurate.

(see Escargot's above post)
 
Last edited:

skinny

Class of 1984
Joined
May 30, 2010
Messages
7,788
Likes
7,749
Points
284
Location
Nebraska
Did she laugh out loud as she was trying to say sorry? I like to think of her so helpless with mirth that as she was placing the clippers on the high shelf out of harm's way, she knocked the goldfish bowl onto the floor. A comedy of errors, you see. It all goes on. In my noggins.

zo zorry for your loss, Swift. :rollingw::rollingw:




:rollingw:
 

skinny

Class of 1984
Joined
May 30, 2010
Messages
7,788
Likes
7,749
Points
284
Location
Nebraska

skinny

Class of 1984
Joined
May 30, 2010
Messages
7,788
Likes
7,749
Points
284
Location
Nebraska
oh. oh.

Angry Bagel Guy Fight Promoter Angered by No-Show ... You Cost Us $100k!!!
Chris Morgan surprised everyone involved with his scheduled boxing event Saturday night in Atlantic City by announcing on Twitter hours before that he'd fooled them all ... and had no intention of showing up to get beat up.
https://www.tmz.com/2019/09/30/angry-bagel-guy-chris-morgan-lawsuit-bailing-celebrity-fight/

Wow. Whodathunkit. He came up short on his deal. Won't get a girlfriend that way, little man. That's the height of bad form.

Guy needs a friend.
 

cycleboy2

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
Messages
1,204
Likes
2,372
Points
169
I've never gone grade 0, I'll wear a baseball cap so people don't think I've had a lobotomy plus I'm on holiday for two weeks .. that pic is of after she tried to make it look better lol .. so yep, time will fix it. I'm thinning on the top, not Prince William levels yet but still .. if she'd done it on the top, I'd be worried.

Just for something to do, I've been saving my hair clippings over the last 6 months .. I've got enough to make a hamster so far.

Hairdressers have found my head's shape difficult to cut since I was a teen .. it bamboozles most of them. The Mrs says my head's like Cryton's from Red Dwarf which I think is accurate.

(see Escargot's above post)
For years I've had pretty much the same haircut (style would be too strong a word!). My hair is thinning so I have a number 1.5 on top and 1 on the back and sides – I keep on threatening to go to 1 on top and 0.5 on the side. I did make the most of my hair when I had it – growing it down to my bum, wearing it in Willie Nelson-style plaits, then a quiff and a Tintin-style tuft... until the hair decided it had had enough. But no comb-over in the manner of Bobby Charlton and Ralph Coates (one for the kids there) and no mullet!
 
Top