Things That Make You Go... WTF?

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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I mentioned a few days ago about my old BMX and the lock cable on it that I've been planning to remove. It's currently sitting in my back yard. Strangely, I walked out of my front door this morning and my mountain bike that's always safely attached to the front of my house wasn't anymore. It was still in my front yard but the cable lock on that bike had been smashed off.

Even if an opportunist thief had smashed the lock off but been disturbed and ran off, why didn't they come back later when the coast was clear and nick it then? .. or did they smash the lock off just to borrow it and then return it? .. or did they have an attack of guilty conscience? .. or were they pissed and fell asleep when they got back home? .. fuck knows? .. it's safely somewhere else now anyway but it's all a bit unusual.
 

Krepostnoi

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I mentioned a few days ago about my old BMX and the lock cable on it that I've been planning to remove. It's currently sitting in my back yard. Strangely, I walked out of my front door this morning and my mountain bike that's always safely attached to the front of my house wasn't anymore. It was still in my front yard but the cable lock on that bike had been smashed off.

Even if an opportunist thief had smashed the lock off but been disturbed and ran off, why didn't they come back later when the coast was clear and nick it then? .. or did they smash the lock off just to borrow it and then return it? .. or did they have an attack of guilty conscience? .. or were they pissed and fell asleep when they got back home? .. fuck knows? .. it's safely somewhere else now anyway but it's all a bit unusual.
Clearly it's a sign from the universe that all you need to do is leave the BMX in your front yard, and the lock fairies will take care of the rest.
 

Ogdred Weary

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I woke to find a largish piece of naan bread on my windowsill. Possible culprits: squirrel, cat, fox. There's a small ledge under my window and cats can certainly get up there - one did years ago, squirrels certainly, fox seems least likely but I think they could get up here at a push,

Thought I heard something against the window in bed last night but dismissed it.
 

escargot

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I woke to find a largish piece of naan bread on my windowsill. Possible culprits: squirrel, cat, fox. There's a small ledge under my window and cats can certainly get up there - one did years ago, squirrels certainly, fox seems least likely but I think they could get up here at a push,

Thought I heard something against the window in bed last night but dismissed it.
Ah, a gift of bread.

The poet and singer Mike McGough once woke up on New Brighton seafront after a boozy night with no recollection of how he got there and no wallet or money.

He thought 'What am I supposed to do NOW?' and looked up to the sky, and a passing gull dropped a crust of bread into his open mouth.
 

Ogdred Weary

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Ah, a gift of bread.

The poet and singer Mike McGough once woke up on New Brighton seafront after a boozy night with no recollection of how he got there and no wallet or money.

He thought 'What am I supposed to do NOW?' and looked up to the sky, and a passing gull dropped a crust of bread into his open mouth.
MANNA FROM HEAVEN!

So mine is probably aliens, I can't believe I didn't think of that first.
 

maximus otter

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I woke to find a largish piece of naan bread on my windowsill. Possible culprits: squirrel, cat, fox. There's a small ledge under my window and cats can certainly get up there - one did years ago, squirrels certainly, fox seems least likely but I think they could get up here at a push,

Thought I heard something against the window in bed last night but dismissed it.
Drunk pigeon?

maximus otter
 

Min Bannister

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I woke to find a largish piece of naan bread on my windowsill. Possible culprits: squirrel, cat, fox. There's a small ledge under my window and cats can certainly get up there - one did years ago, squirrels certainly, fox seems least likely but I think they could get up here at a push,

Thought I heard something against the window in bed last night but dismissed it.
Do you feed them? Perhaps they are now trying to feed you due to the C-word crisis. :)
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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I mentioned a few days ago about my old BMX and the lock cable on it that I've been planning to remove. It's currently sitting in my back yard. Strangely, I walked out of my front door this morning and my mountain bike that's always safely attached to the front of my house wasn't anymore. It was still in my front yard but the cable lock on that bike had been smashed off.

Even if an opportunist thief had smashed the lock off but been disturbed and ran off, why didn't they come back later when the coast was clear and nick it then? .. or did they smash the lock off just to borrow it and then return it? .. or did they have an attack of guilty conscience? .. or were they pissed and fell asleep when they got back home? .. fuck knows? .. it's safely somewhere else now anyway but it's all a bit unusual.
It's pretty obvious you were subconsciously using your Jedi mind powers to destroy the lock.
 

Mythopoeika

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I mentioned a few days ago about my old BMX and the lock cable on it that I've been planning to remove. It's currently sitting in my back yard. Strangely, I walked out of my front door this morning and my mountain bike that's always safely attached to the front of my house wasn't anymore. It was still in my front yard but the cable lock on that bike had been smashed off.

Even if an opportunist thief had smashed the lock off but been disturbed and ran off, why didn't they come back later when the coast was clear and nick it then? .. or did they smash the lock off just to borrow it and then return it? .. or did they have an attack of guilty conscience? .. or were they pissed and fell asleep when they got back home? .. fuck knows? .. it's safely somewhere else now anyway but it's all a bit unusual.
Local kids in 'thief' training. They were going to nick it, but somebody probably said 'don't do that to Swifty - he's a nice bloke'.
 

Swifty

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Local kids in 'thief' training. They were going to nick it, but somebody probably said 'don't do that to Swifty - he's a nice bloke'.
Hopefully. I've been told off a little in the past here for sticking up for local youth but most of them just crave support and respect .. respect .. that's always been your average teenager's insecure deepest wish and always will be .. even though they're often fucking idiots and so were we .. they cant even twoc a bike properly these days ffs .. teens were freezing and shattering bike locks with liquid nitrogen in the city when I was that age .. not that that's a good thing of course. Impressive none the less.

New job interview tomorrow btw. Skargy knows the score and wish me luck X
 

Schrodinger's Zebra

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Hopefully. I've been told off a little in the past here for sticking up for local youth but most of them just crave support and respect .. respect .. that's always been your average teenager's insecure deepest wish and always will be .. even though they're often fucking idiots and so were we .. they cant even twoc a bike properly these days ffs .. teens were freezing and shattering bike locks with liquid nitrogen in the city when I was that age .. not that that's a good thing of course. Impressive none the less.

New job interview tomorrow btw. Skargy knows the score and wish me luck X
Good luck for tomorrow... I have fingers and toes crossed for you :)
 

Swifty

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Good luck for tomorrow... I have fingers and toes crossed for you :)
10% staff discount. Just say you know Swifty. Actually, don't .. I need to keep this job at least until they've cured the Miley Cyrus .. then we can all take the piss again .. and l'll find another job.

 

Swifty

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In a week full of WTF'ery for everyone, I've just discovered that the cleaner at work who stole two bottles of vodka from my workplace (but we can't officially prove it despite the fact that he was the only person there and the business owners were made aware at the time) has been made up to *drumroll* security for our now closed business. I don't know where to start, even the Mrs said to our boss "What?.. vodka thief?" ......
 

Mythopoeika

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In a week full of WTF'ery for everyone, I've just discovered that the cleaner at work who stole two bottles of vodka from my workplace (but we can't officially prove it despite the fact that he was the only person there and the business owners were made aware at the time) has been made up to *drumroll* security for our now closed business. I don't know where to start, even the Mrs said to our boss "What?.. vodka thief?" ......
There won't be any booze left now.
 
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