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Thirty-Minute Bowel Movement

MrRING

MrRING

Android Futureman
Joined
Aug 7, 2002
Messages
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My brother came across the weirdness bit of a story while listening to one of wrestling promoter Jim Cornette's podcasts. Basically, in response to a story about wrestler Tessa Blanchard supposedly making an audio tape for a fan of her having a bowel movement then urging the listener to have sex with the bowel movement (which has since been debunked, it's not her), Cornette says that as a promoter in the 80's, he found an underground audio tape being sold in truck stops of somebody having recorded themselves (or somebody else) having a 30 minute bowel movement. Supposedly, after purchasing the tape, it was something that he would listen to with his wrestlers (the Midnight Express) on the road as something to find as hilarious.

So, this could just be a hilarious story made up to be entertaining on the podcast. But I did wonder, has there been actual cases of extremely weird audio on sale in various places like this? Is this 30 minute bowel movement tape legit?
 
First things first. What sound does a 30-minute bowel movement make?
 
MrRING said:
... Cornette says that as a promoter in the 80's, he found an underground audio tape being sold in truck stops of somebody having recorded themselves (or somebody else) having a 30 minute bowel movement. Supposedly, after purchasing the tape, it was something that he would listen to with his wrestlers (the Midnight Express) on the road as something to find as hilarious.
So, this could just be a hilarious story made up to be entertaining on the podcast. But I did wonder, has there been actual cases of extremely weird audio on sale in various places like this? Is this 30 minute bowel movement tape legit?
Click to expand...

I can attest to the fact that certain underground tapes were available only(?) at truck stops back in the 70s / 80s and were popular with the trucker sub-culture. Most of the ones I've seen / heard were "blue" comedy recordings involving subject matter unfit for polite company - especially involving sex.

My first guess is that this was an underground tape representing an extended comedy sketch, if not an actual surreptitiously-recorded incident (akin to a funny home video) subsequently marketed as comedy.
 
sdoig said:
After eating nothing but rubbish for the first week of a two week holiday to Florida, I can confirm that it is indeed possible to do a 30 minute 'jobby'
Click to expand...

Right eye saw '30 minute jobby', left eye saw 'sdoig Fresh Blood'
I going to read other threads now.
 
EnolaGaia said:
I can attest to the fact that certain underground tapes were available only(?) at truck stops back in the 70s / 80s and were popular with the trucker sub-culture. Most of the ones I've seen / heard were "blue" comedy recordings involving subject matter unfit for polite company - especially involving sex.
Click to expand...
Certainly worthy of a Fortean dive...
 
EnolaGaia said:
I can attest to the fact that certain underground tapes were available only(?) at truck stops back in the 70s / 80s and were popular with the trucker sub-culture. Most of the ones I've seen / heard were "blue" comedy recordings involving subject matter unfit for polite company - especially involving sex.
Click to expand...

There were similar tapes available at UK petrol stations and motorway services on the 80s. Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson and Roy 'Chubby' Brown spring to mind.
 
Bad Bungle said:
First correct spelling of dire-rear I've seen in a long time, you've had occasion to practice ?
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I'm a natural good speller. Also used to do the sort of work where the correct description of symptoms is essential so I can spell all sorts of conditions. You really don't want to know.
 
escargot said:
First things first. What sound does a 30-minute bowel movement make?
Click to expand...
*pffffft .. pwap ... pwappwap ............... pwapityfwerptypwap .................... toilet flush .. pffffftFAWPWAPWAAP!! .. second flush .. rustling sound of pages of The Exchange and Mart being tu SPLADOOOSH!! .. followed by "Are you going to be in there all ****ing day! .. I've got to go to work!" shouted at you ...
 
Swifty said:
*pffffft .. pwap ... pwappwap ............... pwapityfwerptypwap .................... toilet flush .. pffffftFAWPWAPWAAP!! .. second flush .. rustling sound of pages of The Exchange and Mart being tu SPLADOOOSH!! .. followed by "Are you going to be in there all ****ing day! .. I've got to go to work!" shouted at you ...
Click to expand...
Followed by "I'd give it a while before I go in there if I were you."
 
escargot said:
I'm a natural good speller. Also used to do the sort of work where the correct description of symptoms is essential so I can spell all sorts of conditions. You really don't want to know.
Click to expand...
To quote the movie Grease, tell me more, tell me more...
 
Swifty said:
*pffffft .. pwap ... pwappwap ............... pwapityfwerptypwap .................... toilet flush .. pffffftFAWPWAPWAAP!! .. second flush .. rustling sound of pages of The Exchange and Mart being tu SPLADOOOSH!! .. followed by "Are you going to be in there all ****ing day! .. I've got to go to work!" shouted at you ...
Click to expand...

What?!? No theme song for this thread? ... I'll nominate some theme music ...

The Strain (Bonzo Dog Band):


... which itself was an admitted hommage to the inimitable Screamin' Jay Hawkins' Constipation Blues:

 
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EnolaGaia said:
What?!? No theme song for this thread? ... I'll nominate some theme music ...

The Strain (Bonzo Dog Band):


... which itself was an admitted hommage to the inimitable Sreamin' Jay Hawkins' Constipation Blues:

Click to expand...
HAHA .. quality .. first time ever I've heard either of those ... have this

 
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I once spent at least 20 mins in a loo, in a mall in Singapore, while my friends waited outside.

I had developed a wheat intolerance but was unaware at the time so had scoffed loads of yummy stuff at the lunchtime all-you-can-eat buffet.

The worst part was, I would successfully complete one mass evacuation, clean up the aftermath, stand up, do my trousers up then immediately have to sit back down again! It happened three times!!

My friends didn't know what was going on.
 
Perhaps such a recording is to be used for white noise, similarly to how you can get recordings of an engine idling for two hours. People find it soothing to listen to.
 
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