Uwe Boll's Thread Of Eternal Shame

ogopogo3

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#31
A new hope? From Wikipedia:

While under normal circumstances a director's movies could gross so little he's eventually shut out from every operating studio, Boll is exempt because he funds them under a loophole in German tax law that is supported by contributors and actually rewards movies that perform badly, via a writeoff at the end of the year.

It has been recently reported that the loophole in German tax law has been revised. Starting January 2006, contributors to failed films will no longer be able to profit from failed films through a tax writeoff at the end of the year. This may well result in an end to Boll's film career, as it would make it impossible for him to capitalize on films that fail at the box office, resulting in a loss of investors.
Sweeeeeeeeeeet.

In other news, I watched Uwe's film Blackwoods. Absolutely stunning in its incompetence. My hatred burns white hot for this man.
 
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#32
ogopogo3 said:
A new hope? From Wikipedia:

While under normal circumstances a director's movies could gross so little he's eventually shut out from every operating studio, Boll is exempt because he funds them under a loophole in German tax law that is supported by contributors and actually rewards movies that perform badly, via a writeoff at the end of the year.

It has been recently reported that the loophole in German tax law has been revised. Starting January 2006, contributors to failed films will no longer be able to profit from failed films through a tax writeoff at the end of the year. This may well result in an end to Boll's film career, as it would make it impossible for him to capitalize on films that fail at the box office, resulting in a loss of investors.
Sweeeeeeeeeeet.
:twisted:
:rofl:
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:twisted:
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:twisted:
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:twisted:
:rofl:
:twisted:
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:rofl:

Thank all the various gods for that.
 
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#33
And onwards with the Boll-baiting:

-------
Nuff said:

www.uwebollsucks.com

-------
A superb article:

The Awful Truth Behind The Worst Director In The World

www.cinemablend.com/feature.php?id=209

-----------
By the prickings of my thumbs something shitty this way comes:

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2006)

Directed by
Uwe Boll

Credited cast:

Jason Statham .... Farmer Daimon
John Rhys-Davies .... Merick (as John Rhys Davies)
Ray Liotta .... Gallian
Burt Reynolds .... King Konreid
Ron Perlman .... Norrick
www.imdb.com/title/tt0460780/

With a decent cast and one of the best action choreographes around surely he can't mess this up. Surely.

Oh and did I mention it is going to be 4 hours long and released in two parts?

www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=61234

------------
And more on Bloodrayne:

Out Jan 6:
www.bloodrayne-themovie.com

and AICN gives their opinion:

www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=21638

My favourite bit:

BLOODRAYNE is a waste of time and talent and money. I found it to be a degree or two better than ALONE IN THE DARK – but that’s like smelling your shit 3 days in a row and saying on the third day, “Ya know, I think this smells a little better than yesterday’s.” It’s still shit.
 
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#34
Jeez:

Uwe Boll gets the Postal order

Staff and agencies
Tuesday October 25, 2005

Postal, the controversial video game banned in 13 countries shortly after its release 10 years ago, is heading for the big screen. German producer-director Uwe Boll has bought the rights from game developer Running with Scissors, with plans to release it in 2007. Players of the video game, which was condemned by US vice-presidential candidate Joe Lieberman, can play a postal worker running amok in a city. "The film will have all the political incorrectness and American craziness from the game, wrapped around an action thriller story line," Boll said.
http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0 ... 67,00.html
 

ogopogo3

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#35
Oh, wonderful. The game that ends with you walking to a schoolyard and mowing down dozens of children on a playground for no reason.

If you think Uwe was annoying in the past, he's going to be goddamn insufferable now that he's finally figured out controversy=press coverage.
 

hokum6

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#36
Don't get too excited, but here's the poster for Boll's next masterpiece:



How uncomfortable does Reynolds look? Almost like he's shocked, he just woke up and someone has dressed him in a stupid outfit and taken a photo.
 
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#37
hokum6 said:
How uncomfortable does Reynolds look? Almost like he's shocked, he just woke up and someone has dressed him in a stupid outfit and taken a photo.
My guess is that they suprised him (pos. in the street) got a few snaps and then PhotoShopped his head in there. Its clearer on a larger version (I'll see if I can dig one out) but it looks like they did the same with Ray Liotta - pos. they kicked the door in when he was on he lav trying to work out one with a knot in or a sudokko.

The lighting angles are all way off and I'd bet my Imperial ass that they mocked up parts of this poster long before shooting started.

[edit: OK larger version of poster:

http://img299.imageshack.us/my.php?image=poster5qk.jpg ]
 

BaronHardacre

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#38
At first look, I assumed that Reynolds and Statham were in some weird medival man with two heads movie, then I realised that Boll could never be that imaginative...
 

hokum6

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#39
How has he got Liotta to agree to this? Statham and Reynolds I can understand, they'll probably accept anything, but Liotta? What are you doing man, you were in Goodfellas!
 

BaronHardacre

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#40
Ah yes, but he was also in "Operation Dumbo Drop", with Denis "I'm not fit to lick Bill Hicks shoes" Leary, which belive me, was not a good film in anyway shape or form, even for kids.
 

ogopogo3

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#41
I feel I must give credit where credit is due.

So I watched Uwe's Heart of America a few nights back, which I initially assumed had a suspiciously high 5.8 rating on the IMDB.

But lo and behold, to my utter astonishment the movie was somewhat competent. I was actually enthralled for a large part of it. This movie involves the events leading up to a Columbine-style school shooting.

There's some of the usual Uwe flourishes. For one, it's chock full of unbelievably shitty songs (Unlike regular movies, struggling record labels actually pay Uwe to put their songs in his films). Also, there's some real :wtf: casting: Clint Howard as an abusive father, Jurgen Prochnow as the school principle, and Michael Paré as a creative writing teacher.

Yes, some of the writing is weak. It has too many characters. And some of these characters are a little too aware of their own symbolism. But yet this damn thing succeeds in spite of itself. Uwe for once knows how to push the right buttons. Tensions mount, breaking points are reached and the whole denouement comes off as disturbingly logical. More than one young actor in this cast manages to give a chilling performance (and I'm not necessarily talking about the shooters).

IMDB entry: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0279037/combined
 
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#43
ogopogo3 said:
A new hope? From Wikipedia:

While under normal circumstances a director's movies could gross so little he's eventually shut out from every operating studio, Boll is exempt because he funds them under a loophole in German tax law that is supported by contributors and actually rewards movies that perform badly, via a writeoff at the end of the year.

It has been recently reported that the loophole in German tax law has been revised. Starting January 2006, contributors to failed films will no longer be able to profit from failed films through a tax writeoff at the end of the year. This may well result in an end to Boll's film career, as it would make it impossible for him to capitalize on films that fail at the box office, resulting in a loss of investors.
Sweeeeeeeeeeet.
OK its all official:

Nov. 25, 2005

Germany's film fund loophole closes

BERLIN -- Germany's film funds are finally kaput. The first cabinet meeting under new German chancellor Angela Merkel pushed through changes to the country's tax code Thursday that close the loophole that allowed the private investment funds to operate. New finance minister Peer Steinbrueck was also able backdate the change so that the cut-off point for the new regulations will be Nov.11 of this year. Film fund investors who came in later will be out of luck. Sources close to the finance ministry and reports in the German media on the eve of today's meeting suggested the new regulations would not be backdated, but would first come into effect at midnight Thursday. The funds have been a cash cow for Hollywood producers. Although conceived as a way to boost investment in local production, in practice the bulk of the money amassed by Germany's funds flowed to the United States. Merkel's government has pledged to introduce a new financing structure to encourage investment in German film some time in the first half of 2006. (Scott Roxborough)
www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/internati ... 1001570998

:twisted:
 

Mighty_Emperor

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#46
ogopogo3 said:
And Uwe now has his trifecta. With the bare minimum number of votes needed, BloodRayne takes its position at #60 in the IMDB Bottom 100:

http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom

(sarcastic slow clap)
The voting pattern is weird too:

Code:
Votes	 Percentage	 Rating
187	   28.8%	10
21	    3.2%	  9
7	     1.1%	   8
6	     0.9%	   7
3	     0.5%	   6
3	     0.5%	   5
2	     0.3%	   4
5	     0.8%	   3
18	    2.8%	   2
398	   61.2%	1
So that makes:

#29 House of the Dead
#43 Alone in the Dark
#60 Bloodrayne

Thats very impressive.
 

Mighty_Emperor

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#47
Oh dear Lord will it never end??

Uwe Boll Approached for 'Metal Gear Solid' + more!

Get more on Exclusive News and Reviews | Posted 01.05.06 @ 11:33 pm ]

B-D reporter Hunter Daniels was on location with Spooky Dan at the Red Carpet Premiere for Romar Entertainment's BloodRayne (review), which is now in theaters everywhere. At the event Hunter grabbed director Uwe Boll for a mini interview about his film, which will find its way online later tonight. In the interview Uwe broke the news to B-D that he may direct a feature film adaptation of the popular video game Metal Gear Solid, and also told us that In the Name of the King (Dungeon Siege) will be released as one single movie, and not split in two like originally rumored. You can find all of the details inside...
http://bloody-disgusting.com/index.php? ... e=newsfull
 

Iggore

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#48
Didnt he stopped making money of of this, because the germans supposedly closed the taxe lophole?
 
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#49
Iggore said:
Didnt he stopped making money of of this, because the germans supposedly closed the taxe lophole?
Hes like a dinosaur - shoot them between the eyes and it takes a long time for the body to realise and grind to a halt ;)
 
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#51
Hes such a dick:

Posted on Fri, Jan. 13, 2006

Director Uwe Boll readies new projects

JEREMY HAINSWORTH
Associated Press

LOS ANGELES - With one keystroke, Uwe Boll accidentally deleted the only script for his upcoming film "Seed" from his computer.

But, he told The Associated Press, hes managed to recreate a third of the script so far - and is happier with the rewrite than the original.

With one movie in theaters, several upcoming projects and a simmering battle against Hollywood, the rebellious German director has a full plate these days.

"I hate Hollywood," Boll declared to the audience last week at the premiere of his vampire film "Bloodrayne."

Boll told The AP that the Hollywood system is corrupt, runs on fear of those with power and the struggle of others to get that power, and destroys anyone who refuses to play the game.

"A little controversy isn't the worst thing in Hollywood," said Billy Zane, whose Romar Entertainment (which he owns with James Schramm) financed the $60 million "Bloodrayne." Romar provides distribution and advertising while directors retain ownership of their films.

But the controversy may have been the worst thing for "Bloodrayne." It was supposed to open in 1,890 U.S. theaters last weekend, but instead made it to only about 800, bringing in $1.5 million at the box office instead of the hoped-for $10-$15 million.

Boll will try again with his next projects. The "super-horror" film "Seed" is due to go into production in Vancouver later this year.

"Theres a rule that if youre electrocuted three times and youre still alive ... you go free," Boll said. In "Seed," the main character is subject to a failed electrocution, and desperate officials bury him alive. "He digs himself out of the grave and goes on a revenge trip," Boll said.

Boll's "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale" will hit theaters later this year. Like "Bloodrayne," it's based on a video game - as are Boll's upcoming "Far Cry" (2006) and "Postal" (2007).

"Dungeon Siege" follows the hard life of a lowly farmer, played by Jason Statham, whos on a mission to save his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his child. The story line is woven into a fantasy backdrop of war in the Kingdom of Ehb between the evil sorcerer Gallian and the ruling King Konreid.

The film also stars Leelee Sobieski, Ray Liotta, John Rhys-Davies, Burt Reynolds and Kristanna Loken.

"I think hes got huge determination," said Rhys-Davies, who played dwarf Gimli in the "Lord of the Rings" blockbuster. "He reminds me of another Hollywood rebel in his own way. I mean George Lucas."
www.bradenton.com/mld/bradenton/enterta ... 619171.htm
 
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#52
It’s all just a game

When online petitions beg directors to stop making films, is that the beginning of the end? The end of atrocities such as “BloodRayne,” I mean. Or is it the end of culture in society? Or, some would say, society itself?

Director Uwe Boll is one of the most reviled filmmakers in history. His “specialty,” if you want to call it that, is helming films that are based on video games. If you don’t recall his dreadful “Alone in the Dark” or “House of the Dead,” that’s most likely because you try to spend your moviegoing dollars on worthwhile efforts — or at least you take a chance on a movie being worthwhile simply because it wasn’t directed by Boll, who also is known in certain circles as “Toilet Boll” for his ineptitude. Boll isn’t entirely to blame for his ghastly creations. After all, a film company distributes these things to theaters, where people actually go see them. But I wonder if more profits would be garnered from straight-to-video releases preceded by ad campaigns in gamer magazines and on MTV (admittedly, ths idea is self-serving, because then I wouldn’t have to sit through this junk). There’s a seed of a story here, sort of, and it’s set in the past in Romania. Rayne (Kristanna Loken, “Terminator 3”) is a “dhampir” — a half-human, half-vampire creature (“Blade,” anyone?). She teams up with Quentin Tarantino favorite (and justifiably so) Michael Madsen, who plays Vladimir, the leader of the Brimstone society that hunts the undead.

Rayne teams up with Brimstone against the evil Kagan (Ben Kingsley, of all people), who is the vampire of all vampires. A real mean force to be reckoned with in the first place, Kagan is gathering talismans that will take his powers to a new zenith. Brimstone and Rayne, who has a connection to Kagan, must try to stop him. It’s a video game — nothing more and nothing less. Yes, there’s definite star power here, both high-profile and those with cult-fan status — including Udo Kier from “Dancer in the Dark” and lots of other vampire movies including “Blade.”

It’s impossible for me to give any movie with such fantastic performers a zero, although this probably deserves one. So here’s half a star for the ensemble. And here’s cinematic proof that Uwe Boll puts a “dhampir” on anything he directs.
www.qctimes.net/articles/2006/01/12/ent ... 639298.txt
 
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#53
'BloodRayne' sucks life out of audience

By Timothy O'Connor
Staff Reporter

"BloodRayne" is like a bad round of golf. You start off having no idea how terrible it's going to be and by the end you've been slapped in the face by your caddy and left wanting your money back.

"BloodRayne" centers around a half-human half-vampire young woman named Rayne, played by Kristanna Loken. After escaping from the circus, she learns that she is the daughter of the power-hungry vampire ruler, Kagan. She vows revenge on him for his crimes and sets out to destroy him with the help of vampire hunters Vladimir and Sebastian, played by Michael Madsen and Matthew Davis respectively. Rayne needs to collect three artifacts that will allow her to defeat Kagan, avenge her mother and save the country.

"BloodRayne" has innumerable problems that doom the film to the depths of cinema hell.

First is the acting. One would think that with a cast that includes Madsen and Ben Kingsley, acting quality would hardly be an issue. However, the cast performs their lines with such emotionless triteness that you'll never care about a single thing they say. It's as if cameras were rolling as the actors read the script for the very first time. Loken's career may have been looking up after her role in "Terminator 3," but after her lackluster performance in "BloodRayne," she'll need to prove herself all over again if she wants to be taken seriously.

It doesn't help matters that the screenplay is a crowning achievement in bad scripts. Director Uwe Boll has turned the videogame about a Nazi-killing anti-hero into an 18th century adventure story, giving a slap in the face to fans of the game and alienating the only audience "BloodRayne" would have known. The plot itself feels incomplete, as little back story is given and many of the characters seem pointless. Three-quarters of the way through the movie, Rayne and Sebastian share a completely random and lame sex scene which is memorable merely because it's the only justification one could claim in seeing this movie. The ending is just as bad as the rest of the movie and defeats what little purpose the film had.

The least "BloodRayne" could have provided is some decent action sequences. Alas, here too, the movie falls fatally short. The swordplay is so clumsy and slow I didn't know if I was watching a fight scene or Brett Favre try to throw a pass.

Like Boll's previous video game to film adaptations, "BloodRayne" is unforgettable only as one of the worst movies of all time. There is no direction, terrible dialogue and a non-existent plot. The only people I would recommend this movie to are masochists and Indiana University students. What "BloodRayne" does do well is reveal director Uwe Boll for the clueless hack he is. Someone desperately needs to take away his director's chair and megaphone before another innocent movie-goer gets hurt.
www.purdueexponent.com/index.php/module ... le_id/2396
 

GNC

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#56
I'd like to see him tackle Jet Set Willy. He must be open to suggestions?
 

ogopogo3

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#59
ogopogo3 said:
Oooooo, look what I bought today:

www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BTPV9K/

The Boll Collection. 4 of his earliest German features. Jealous?
Well, it came. The good doctor was nice enough to introduce every film in English. Oh, but the movies were in German........with NO SUBTITLES. Hey, that's a hell of a good strategy for the NTSC market, you fuckin' dickwad.

(I have no one to blame but myself, really. Should I have expected anything approaching competence from this retard?)
 
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#60
ogopogo3 said:
ogopogo3 said:
Oooooo, look what I bought today:

www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BTPV9K/

The Boll Collection. 4 of his earliest German features. Jealous?
Well, it came. The good doctor was nice enough to introduce every film in English. Oh, but the movies were in German........with NO SUBTITLES. Hey, that's a hell of a good strategy for the NTSC market, you fuckin' dickwad.

(I have no one to blame but myself, really. Should I have expected anything approaching competence from this retard?)
Oh you shouldn't laugh but

:rofl:

I doubt you'll be able to even find fan subs for it :lol:
 
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