Weird Sex (Practices; Preferences; Accoutrements; Etc.)

[Anonymous]

[Emp edit: This is our general weird sex thread.

/!\ - This thread is where all the stories and discussion about extreme sexual practices are kept so if you easily offended then you may want to try some other threads.

Some resources:

www.world-sex-records.com
www.thesexdictionary.com
www.seductioninsider.com/articles/weird_sex_laws.html

Lets be careful out there ]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,666889,00.html

This story amused me because nobody's quite sure what to do with the offender. He was prosecuted for buggery, it seems, which in my mind isn't the same thing as, erm, animal-abusing.

 

[Anonymous]

There's a funny police report on the smoking gun about a man caught shagging a racehorse.
The funniest bit was the NYPD blacked out the name of the horse on the arrest report because 'we don't realise the names of sexual abuse victims'
Anyone heard about the old aristocratic pratice involving a goose and a chest of draws?

 

[mejane]

No, but do tell chatsubo.

My mind is well and truely boggled.

Jane.

 

[Anonymous]

Young gentlemen would get a goose, wedge its neck in a draw and then proceed to bugger it.
At the moment of climax (for the young gentleman, not the goose) he would slam the draw shut, breaking the goose's neck sending it into spasms, which was ment to highten the enjoyment of the orgasm. And then retire to the billard hall for brandy, cigars and opium

 

[Beakmoo]

There's way too much bird cruelty on this MB today. We've had people dressing geese up as the easter bunny, exploding seagulls, and now this. Is it a conspiracy?

 

[carole]

Mind you, the French stuff geese in a different manner, for pate de foie gras . . .

Carole

 

[mejane]

Sorry Beekboo - I love budgies. Um, I mean they're sweet. Um... not to eat though! Or other things!

Jane.

 

[Anonymous]

Exploding seagulls???????????

 

[Beakmoo]

Sorry Beekboo - I love budgies. Um, I mean they're sweet. Um... not to eat though!

Not even that Indian restaurant staple, onion budgies?

 

[JamesWhitehead]

I seem to recall that the word Budgerigar comes from an Aboriginal
phrase meaning "Good to eat".

A good Sunday roast for those who eat only white meat and little
of it. Leg or Breast, anyone?

 

[Anonymous]

Didnt the Ancient Greeks have a saying "A woman for necessity, a boy for pleasure, and a goat for ecstasy"?

We're supposed to have inherited our culture from these people!

Chatsubo - that goose thing is horrible. Call me a bluff old traditionalist, but why didn't they just have sex with another human being? I've heard of a similar thing with a human partner but its too horrid to put on the message board.

I feel sick now!

 

[_schnor]

Oh yes, the ancient greeks would 'do' anything!

OT - isn't there a line from the bible forbidding people from "Feasting on things bloody, and from those strangled" which I remember from somewhere in my hindbrain, and which I find morbidly amusing...

 

[SmirnoffMule]

Auntie Peach, I believe the line is "A woman for duty, a boy for pleasure and a melon for ecstasy."
It may be the chinese whispers effect, though, or maybe the person who told me was adjusting it for my sensitive ears.

 

[Anonymous]

Didnt the Ancient Greeks have a saying "A woman for necessity, a boy for pleasure, and a goat for ecstasy"?

We're supposed to have inherited our culture from these people!

Chatsubo - that goose thing is horrible. Call me a bluff old traditionalist, but why didn't they just have sex with another human being? I've heard of a similar thing with a human partner but its too horrid to put on the message board.

I feel sick now!

Are you talking about necrophillia, autoerotic asphsyphixation or something other?

 

[Anonymous]

hahahhahahahaha-

necrophillia, autoerotic asphsyphixation or something other

-What on earth else could you add to that???????????

 

[Anonymous]

(sigh)As regards goats, geese, racehorses,etc; it has always been my contention that any man with a working tool will stick in any receptacle given half a chance. And no, I'm not a man-hater but simply a realist. You rarely hear stories about women having it off with animals (except in prev. mentioned porns and maybe Mexico) but that's usually, I'm sure, a MAN'S idea (LOL) and not stemming from desire on the womans part.

 

[minordrag]

Originally posted by webfoot
[B You rarely hear stories about women having it off with animals .

I seem to remember some eye-poppers about Catherine the Great having harnesses rigged so bulls could be lowered onto her!

 

[Anonymous]

Mind boggling MD, but HOW exactly would this work? I'm thinking you would need more than a bull hanging from a harness to achieve anything resembling sex! (The visual is too much for me....)

 

[SmirnoffMule]

The Romans apparantly persuaded a "Cretan bull" to mount a condemned female prisoner as entertainment in the Colesseum.

According to the poet Martial, it was a recreation of the legend of Pasiphae (not one I'm familiar with). Historians speculate they smeared the unfortunate woman with secretions from a cow on heat to encourage the bull.
It's equally possible, however, that the bull was played by a man in a bull skin.


I have *UNSOLICITATED* pictures in my email account of woman and horse. (Being both a horse lover and a woman lover, acquaintance assumed I'd like the two in one. It's like marmite and hot chocolate. Fine, but not together!) No harnesses involved, but I'd say the horse is being taken advantage of.

 

[Anonymous]

The thing I found most amusing about this wonderful (though not for the goat) story, was the judge's comment about it being unlikely that there was a suitable treatment program! One wonders if that was species specific - i.e. 'Nah, sorry mate, we'd like to help your client, but we only treat sheep shaggers here.'

Also the judge expressed concern that he couldn't restrict the offender from working with children. Presumably he was worried about him abusing kids!

I'll get me goat

 

[Anonymous]

Are you talking about necrophillia, autoerotic asphsyphixation or something other?

Well seeing as you've asked, its called (apparently) - (oh do I have to type this?) - 'wolf bagging' and basically it involves going up the tradesman entrance and putting one's fingers down the other's throat so the sphincter contracts.

Look, I'm sorry, you did ask...
:cross eye

 

[Anonymous]

'wolf bagging'

How on earth did anyone think that up? (Not just the phrase, the whole bizarre contortion!) I was going to ask where such information is found, but I've decided I'd really rather not know! (In fact I think, on balance, I was happier living in blissful ignorance of w/b.)

When I was younger, we had a running joke of making up, phrases which sounded as if they referred to bizarre sexual practices. We'd use a suitably 'nudge, nudge' tone of voice as we talked of 'Oiling the halibut', 'Giving the badger his due', etc. in order to try and convince people that they were real terms. Now it seems, once again, that truth is wierder.........

 

[Beakmoo]

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality and flagelation. But then I realised I was just flogging a dead horse.

Sorry again.

 

[ogopogo3]

I have a theory about foreign porn. Take a look at the sick stuff coming out of Japan (with the bukkake and the tentacle rape hentai), Germany (fisting, scat), and Italy (urine and DP-heavy themes). All countries who lost in WWII. It like they took their shame and aggression and used it to shape their sex industry.

In contrast, porn from countries who won WWII is much tamer on the whole.

 

[Anonymous]

Well, Ogopogo, Brits and Americans buy this stuff so they're just as sick.

I know some blokes who are heavily into porn and it was one of those who told me about wolf-bagging.

He's quite a funny guy though - the only German he knows is 'porn German', he was chatting to a German woman at a party recently - you should have seen her face as he tried it out! (The lingo, not the wolf bagging!)

 

[Anonymous]

He's quite a funny guy though - the only German he knows is 'porn German', he was chatting to a German woman at a party recently - you should have seen her face as he tried it out! (The lingo, not the wolf bagging!)

You mean he watches porn movies and listens to the dialogue!!!!:eek!!!!:

 

[ogopogo3]

Never heard of wolf bagging before.

Here's some terms I've come across recently, none of which I'd like to try:

Hot Carl
Pink Pierre
Mississippi Hog-Back Growler
Cleveland Steamer
Hot Ox
Norwegian Tickler
Urethra Franklin
Duck Juice
Dog in a Bathtub
Filthy Sanchez
Burying Elvis
Upper Decker
The Rodeo

 

[Anonymous]

Well I think the sad git has watched so many of these films the lines are indelibly printed on his memory. I used to have a thing about learning the slang word for the male organ in as many languages as possible, so if I ever meet someone of a new nationality I usually ask (not business contact obviously). Just so I know what to ask for, wherever I find myself in the world!!!

Ogopogo - I don't even know what most of those terms mean. And no, don't tell me!

 

[Beakmoo]

I particularly want to know what Urethra Franklin is. That's what we call cystitis in this house. :cross eye

 

[ogopogo3]

There is a website called the Sons of Poseidon homepage, with all of those terms explained. I don't want to link to it because some of it is pretty nasty (but hilarious). You can find the page on Google quite easily. Just go to the terminology section.