Weird Sex

escargot

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Don't tell me ramming USB cables up your bits is actually 'a thing'?
Recreational urethral sounding certainly is a thing. If you image-google the term you'll find a wealth of fascinating information, mainly quite technical and SFW where you wouldn't know what you're looking at without a caption. The google 'Shopping' option is also an eye opener.*

This case though is about not having the right equipment so making do with what's to hand.

*see what I did there?
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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Tribble

Furry Idiot
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Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Get a goth girl to spank me red raw and i'll give it my best shot (ooh-er).
OK but I'll fight you with fists over Ally Sheedy as Allison in The Breakfast Club .. I had a massive crush on Allison in The Breakfast Club when I was a teenager ..

 

Swifty

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She's not strong enough.
Ryder was though ..


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-146375/Winona-Ryder-guilty-shoplifting.html

I caught another shoplifter a couple of days ago (I hate having to do it, it's not even my job except we're told it is) .. I didn't have any back up, whatever she'd stolen was in her jeans pocket, her mum and a crowd or people were watching me and there's no way I'm frisking a young woman so I let her walk back through the barrier with it again going off .. all I could do was tell the boss she had a pink and white leather handbag shaped like a heart. I'll relax when we get an official security guard within the next couple of weeks and until then, fuck it .. I'm not batman, good luck to the thieves.
 

lordmongrove

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Ryder was though ..


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-146375/Winona-Ryder-guilty-shoplifting.html

I caught another shoplifter a couple of days ago (I hate having to do it, it's not even my job except we're told it is) .. I didn't have any back up, whatever she'd stolen was in her jeans pocket, her mum and a crowd or people were watching me and there's no way I'm frisking a young woman so I let her walk back through the barrier with it again going off .. all I could do was tell the boss she had a pink and white leather handbag shaped like a heart. I'll relax when we get an official security guard within the next couple of weeks and until then, fuck it .. I'm not batman, good luck to the thieves.
She's not strong enough to lift shops. That would take Godzilla.
 

LordRsmacker

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Ah, good old urethral sounding. There're lots of accounts of that in the BMJ. Fascinating reading.

Reddit has plenty of sounders onboard. A few years ago one posted about how he messed it up so badly, his parents had to spend his college fund on surgery to put it right.
I encountered Urethral Sounding some years back in a fetish club. I found myself clinging to a wall because of wobbly legs, having watched a man have his scrotum nailed to a board (he later told me that the hypo needles that had been used first were way more painful than the large bright-wire nails, because the nails kinda pushed their way through once the skin had been broken, whereas the needles chopped a hole like a cookie cutter in dough), but found the Sounding strangely arousing to watch - a very talented Domme kept the subject "to attention". Not enough to sample the experience, no no no, I managed to slither away when it was suggested it was my turn next!

Watching what looked to me like a kebab sword with a bend at the end being slid into place was mesmerising, it being replaced with larger and thicker Sounds. It's one of those "how the hell is that all going to fit inside?" things.
Last year I watched a gent being Sounded on the beach! (Cap D'Agde, naturally) Indulging in that in a fetish club, with plenty of cleaning materials and sterilisers etc to hand, is one thing, but having a go on a breezy, sandy beach is just asking for trouble, IMHO. I bet a few grains of sand feel like sharp boulders once they get introduced to the Pink Oboe.
 

IamSundog

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I encountered Urethral Sounding some years back in a fetish club. I found myself clinging to a wall because of wobbly legs, having watched a man have his scrotum nailed to a board (he later told me that the hypo needles that had been used first were way more painful than the large bright-wire nails, because the nails kinda pushed their way through once the skin had been broken, whereas the needles chopped a hole like a cookie cutter in dough), but found the Sounding strangely arousing to watch - a very talented Domme kept the subject "to attention". Not enough to sample the experience, no no no, I managed to slither away when it was suggested it was my turn next!

Watching what looked to me like a kebab sword with a bend at the end being slid into place was mesmerising, it being replaced with larger and thicker Sounds. It's one of those "how the hell is that all going to fit inside?" things.
Last year I watched a gent being Sounded on the beach! (Cap D'Agde, naturally) Indulging in that in a fetish club, with plenty of cleaning materials and sterilisers etc to hand, is one thing, but having a go on a breezy, sandy beach is just asking for trouble, IMHO. I bet a few grains of sand feel like sharp boulders once they get introduced to the Pink Oboe.
(Sundog curls up like a boiled shrimp and whimpers)
 

escargot

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A Reddit thread a few years ago featured an account of a silly American teenager's disastrous attempts at self-sounding which ended up with everything stuck and an expensive course of treatment which swallowed up all the money put aside for his medical school fund.
 

OneWingedBird

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I have just read the last page or so and am going to lie in a foetal position and cry for a few hours.
Reputedly the Gestapo used a variation of sounding where they used a glass thermometer... then threatened to whack the victim's todger with a truncheon if they didn't talk. Or if they didn't believe them. Or because reasons. :O
 

LordRsmacker

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I recall hearing of some young buck who decided it would be a hoot to present his girlfriend with a flower...in a unique kind of vase (yep, sliding it up to the petals in his Old Fella) Now apparently that's all well and good with a daffodil, but he had chosen a flower with a hairy stem (chrysanthemum?), the hairs had dug into the walls of his urethra, and withdrawing the flower stem was so excrutiating he had to have it surgically removed.

I'll stick with Interflora if I want to give a chick flowers, I think.
 
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