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Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

Don't ask me how I found this, but there is a website which I won't post a link to here, called Farthammer.com. It apparently caters for those who like to watch videos of women engaging in sexual activities and then being farted on.
I believe none other than James Joyce was one such afficionado, though if memory serves he liked his wife to do the honours.

The site is a porno site, by the way, so you've been warned.
 
Weird sex stuff

There is a very rare, obscure condition called 'dritiphilia' or 'dritiphily', I think it's classified as an OCD. The people who suffer from this get sexual pleasure from eating hocked-up loogies or vomit. :cross eye

Then there are the 'packers'. Men and women who are obsessed with filling their anal and reproductive cavities with objects. My friend at work once showed me a pic on rotten.com once of a man in a ER having 2 small potatoes and a jar of peanut butter(chunky!) removed from his rectum. :confused:

Adolf Hitler was rumoured to be a stercoramanic(sexually obsessed with human feces). Can anybody confirm that rumour?
 
I think I'll be sticking with the razorblades, whips and clamps for now.

All this bodily waste stuff is just weird.
 
Someone was asking for personal testimony of the strange sex things mentioned on the first page of this discussion...

Well....

You know the one about babies? I went out with a bloke once who asked me to dress him up as a baby and spank him. I think he had a thing for female authority figures, as he then went out with one of the teachers at school...

As for randy horses - I was wandernig about by the seaside on the Isle of Wight and encountered a lovely donkey standing on his own in a field. He came up to the fence and I stroked his head. some people walked past and laughed, and I looked down and realised that the donkey was very much enjoying my attention! Then I went to some scary fake Victorian village and I said hello to a shirehorse and waved at it. Instantly a 3 foot long erection appeared, and I ran away very quickly!
 
I have a FOAF story, which I still find amusing. Someone my friend worked with lived with a french man. He liked to have her dress in sexy clothes underneath combat gear. When he arrived home she had to salute him.:madeyes:

Also he was a scatologist and had their toilet changed to a perspex one so that he could watch her doing the act. :eek!!!!: :cross eye
 
I'm sorry but the animal ones have had me howling with laughter! Mind you, some people are Zoophiliac's and we mustn't mock the afflicted.

I'm just too boring to do anything like that. I think getting tied up is exotic! And if anyone came NEAR me with nipple-clamps you'd hear me screeching like a beansi.

And it sounds like those two friends probably picked up some money for their services? If they didn't get any kicks from it and they didn't think it was juicy gossip then I can only think that they parted this fool from his money gladly and hell, who wouldn't?

Oh, and one article I read said that there is a popular fetish for bursting balloons. Not very discreet, though, eh?:D
 
Chant said:
...you'd hear me screeching like a beansi.
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Is that some sort of mutated jelly bean? :D

Or just a misspelt banshee? :p

Sorry, couldn't resist...
 
This tale appears in Saucer Smear but doesn't appear to have anything to do
with saucers!

STRANGE OBJECTS OF DESIRE
Jean Curtis filed for divorce from her husband lan, 42, a former military policeman, after finding him on the sofa in their Glasgow flat, clad in blouse and rubber stockings, having sex with a frozen chicken. She said: "My jaw just dropped. I said, 'You dirty bugger, that's my Sunday lunch'. He was calm as you like and said, 'It's all riqht - we can still eat it', I kicked him out.
:eek!!!!:
 
For several years I worked in a day habilitation program serving adults with extremely severe developmental disabilities. Our clients were former residents of state schools (ie institutions) that had been shut down by the ACLU.

One of my charges was a rather strapping, 35 year old hydrocephalic man, extremely mentally retarded, and often violent . He had a thing for humping the floor at the most inconvenient times, and no way in hell could you make him stop.

Never forget the time we took a field trip to the grocery store, where he happened upon an apparently dead-sexy chest freezer, which he started making mad, passionate love to while holding a bottle of Elmer's glue in his hand, and staring at it lovingly.

Now, I'm a 5'8", 125 pound woman, there was no way I could get him to stop, much to the horror and disgust of the patrons of this market. Had to just let him finish, or risk being beaten up. :cross eye
His homecare provider supplied the incredebly obscure theory that this was all my doing in a way, as I am fairly young and he was just reacting to phermones that I was releasing(ick).
 
There was a story in Private Eye's (oo-eerrr that sounds dirty in this context) 'Funny Old World' column about a couple divorcing because the husband, who evidently found mayonnaise or ketchup not enticing enough, dipped his food in his wife's vagina. She said she'd suffered burns and that was why she wanted a divorce. He apparently did this at every dinnertime.
 
Dansette said:
There was a story in Private Eye's (oo-eerrr that sounds dirty in this context) 'Funny Old World' column about a couple divorcing because the husband, who evidently found mayonnaise or ketchup not enticing enough, dipped his food in his wife's vagina. She said she'd suffered burns and that was why she wanted a divorce. He apparently did this at every dinnertime.
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And was also why she served sausages every single day of their marriage...
 
Doncha mean savaloys?:D

I don't believe the story for one second! You mean to tell me she made his tea, put it on the table, then sat opposite him, legs akimbo whilst he helped himself?

We all know what it's like to leave a chip in ketchup too long and it gets soggy and breaks off!:eek:

What about menstruation? Did he have to dig the tampon out of the way first?:splat:

I don't MEAN to be crude, but you MAKE me!
 
This isn't FOAF, because this actually happened in my high school while I was there, and while I had seen the guy around I didn't really know him.

One bright morning a fellow in homeroom decided to masterbate underneith a newspaper. In homeroom. With thirty other students in there and a teacher. Of course, the paper was lifted by the teacher when she noticed his "behavior" standing out, and he was sent home. He also never came back to that school, assumedly because he would have been too embarrised. His name was Joe, so for about a week all anybody could talk about was "Jackin' Joe", as he was dubbed. And he was a preacher's son.

I wonder if his story became a legend at my old school?:eek:

One other thing: my dad's place of work was busted into by somebody who masterbated, used the bathroom both ways, then ran around in the stuff barefoot, leaving footprints everywhere.
 
A kid in my own high school (I knew him, it was an extremely small school) was suspended for a week because he was caught wacking off in the nurse's office, he also never came back to that school. He was caught with his pants down, as it were, by the entire 10th grade chemistry class, through an ajacent window.
 
Ye GODS!!:D

I think the kids at my school must have been sexually inhibited!

My sister-in-law was burgled and they stopped to have a huge dump in her toilet before leaving. The attending policeofficers told her to count her lucky stars they'd bothered to do it in the toilet as it isn't uncommon AT ALL for them to dump all over the house and spread it around for good effect.

Don't these peoples mothers or girlfriends get irritated by their loved ones coming home looking sheepish and stinking of poo!? Doesn't anybody say 'well, officer, we didn't see the break-in but we can identify a pungent youth we passed in the street covered in shite, any good to you?';)

About seven/eight years ago I used to work with a woman who told me that the woman I'd replaced was 'foul' because she would periodically disappear to the toilets and come back looking flushed and relaxed after about ten minutes and the loos never smelled of poo - the men in the warehouse spent many a happy lunch-time hypothesizing about it and concluded she could only 'get off' at work or she was a nymphomaniac. My friend said that she only hoped she'd 'washed her filthy mitts' before coming back to share their desk!:eek:
 
I don't know why I'd forgotten this until now... perhaps because it happened about 11 or 12 years ago.. late 1991 or early 1992

I don't know if any of you who come from Cornwall know this place, but here goes .. For three years I studied at Cornwall College in Pool and rented a house in Tuckingmill with a friend.

There was a girl called Bernadette who lived just up the road and we often used to walk home together.

One day we were walking home down East Hill over an small bridge with houses and gardens below the bridge and we saw a man having sex with his garden !!! :eek!!!!: He was alternately rubbing his w*lly up against some bushes and mastubating - in broad daylight !!!!:eek!!!!:

We watched him for about a minute, he was obviously so engrossed that I don't think he noticed us.. we than walked on without saying a word to each other as both of us were so embarrassed ! These days I might have 'dined out on that story for months' as the saying goes, but I don't think Bernadette or I told anyone about what we'd seen...

In those days I didn't have a phone and used to walk over to East Hill to use the payphone.. one time he was there using the phone, and he hung up as soon as I got there... he even smiled at me :eek!!!!: I was so disgusted by the thought of using the phone after him (who knows what he did in private if that's what he did in his garden in full view !!) that I actually walked a further mile to use the phone at the Plume of Feathers pub in Pool !
 
My sister-in-law was burgled and they stopped to have a huge dump in her toilet before leaving. The attending policeofficers told her to count her lucky stars they'd bothered to do it in the toilet as it isn't uncommon AT ALL for them to dump all over the house and spread it around for good effect.
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This happened to a close, personal friend of mine. The burglars broke in while he was away and finding nothin of value to take ended up taking some of his clothes and left a big, steaming pile on his bedroom floor. :cross eye This is supposedly a message from the burglars: 'You don't have shit for us to steal, so we're leaving you some.'
 
lennynero said:
TThe burglars broke in while he was away and finding nothin of value to take ended up taking some of his clothes and left a big, steaming pile on his bedroom floor. :cross eye
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Thank goodness for DNA testing, eh? :D
 
HAARP said:
I don't know if any of you who come from Cornwall know this place, but here goes .. For three years I studied at Cornwall College in Pool and rented a house in Tuckingmill with a friend.

ther mile to use the phone at the Plume of Feathers pub in Pool !
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Pool and Tuckingmill nothing would suprise me about the place...half of it lookslike a moonscape the other half is bult on the biggest fuse/eplosives works in Europe (at the time)...
 
I'm not really sure if this site is a real gay fetish or some post-modern ironic
thing. Anyway it purports to celebrate the cult of the Scally - you know . . .

NW England: Scally lad lads scallies scallys scal scalls scall scals
Scotland: Scheemy scheemy ned neds nedz drinkin Buckfast radj radjs kev kevs bams
NE England: Charvers charver charva charvas charves charv charves chav chavs radgie radgies radgy radgys johnnos johnos jonnos
Ireland: Smiker smikers steek steeks spide spides nackers nacker knackers knacker styge styges stige stiges
Wales: Milly millys millies blads whapners
London/Essex: Kev kevs pikey pikie pikies pikeys rudeboys geezers geezas gazzas
Others: Townies towny townys gadge gadges gadgie gadgies gadgy gadgys_trevs trevvs trev puffas puffa bam bams spide spides chor chors chorver chorvers chorber chorbers trendy trendies trendys barrys barries
Clothes: Tracksuit tracksuits tracky bottoms tops trackys trackies baseball cap caps trainers Rockport Adidas Reebok Classics Kappa Lacoste Nike Henri Lloyd
Regions: Leeds Liverpool Manchester Salford Ordsall Newcastle Belfast Bradford Glasgow Preston Stoke Essex Birmingham Newport.
Developments: "Choth" - a charver who half dresses like a goth.

http://www.scallycentral.com/

They look to me like lads who would roll you for sixpence - and not in
a nice way. The feedback and comments are sometimes amusing, er
slightly. :p
 
James Whitehead said:
Clothes: Tracksuit tracksuits tracky bottoms tops trackys trackies baseball cap caps trainers Rockport Adidas Reebok Classics Kappa Lacoste Nike Henri Lloyd
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They forgot Burberry. :cross eye Mmm...classy...:rolleyes:
 
You want Burberry Beak?

They live with their parents, they love Burberry, boozing, Britney and Beckham. Meet the 'Geezers', young Britain's largest tribe which has been all but ignored by the mighty marketing machines, but is now driving the country's consumer culture.
For years marketing gurus have been obsessed with the Holy Grail of potentially affluent university graduates. But graduates these days leave university laden with debt and spend all of their money on rent, so afraid are they of incurring the shame of returning home to live with their parents.

Enter the Geezers, male and female factory workers and manual labourers aged 18 to 24, who have been working since they left school and have high disposable incomes which they love to spend on designer brands and alcohol.
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I'd managed to block this from my memory for 15 years or so, but this thread had bought it all back (thanks, guys!)...

I had a boyfriend who had a thing about tampons (used!). He liked them to be inserted into his... :eek!!!!:

Needless to say, it was a short relationship.

Jane.
 
A friend of a friend, (no, really) once "went home" with a man, and asked him to hang on a tick while she went to the bathroom and removed her tampon. God no, he said, grabbing her and ripping it out. With his teeth. I have no idea whether they're still together.
 
mejane said:
I'd managed to block this from my memory for 15 years or so, but this thread had bought it all back (thanks, guys!)...

I had a boyfriend who had a thing about tampons (used!). He liked them to be inserted into his... :eek!!!!:

Needless to say, it was a short relationship.

Jane.
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i hesitate....but in the end i have to point out the old joke..... why do tampons have string?..so u can floss after eating....:)cross eye )
 
It's wierd isn't it. If someone scratched themselves and went 'Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!' you wouldn't think anything of it and probably smile indulgently but wanking? Different ball-game for some reason...wanking at work is upsetting because someone is enjoying themselves whilst getting paid as the rest of you are slogging...:D Perhaps we should ALL have wank-breaks!

I'm a bit unromantic about other people having sex. I don't like seeing people lose control of themselves for some bizarre reason (apart from partner) the same goes for drinking to excess. I find it vaguely disconcerting seeing people get like that. I don't mind hearing it in another room but I could never go to an orgy as I'd be peeling their eyelids open and saying 'are you serious or are you pretending? Seriously though...' until I was escorted to the exit by the host in disgrace...;)
 
Saw a daytime episode of Ruby Wax a while back with a guy whose fixation was inflation.
Ok. He was in a rubber suit. I've heard of that one...
But the idea was for her to blow him up... no, you misunderstand. With a foot pump, a willing partner and an inflatable rubber suit, he was one happy man...
 
unicycle said:
Saw a daytime episode of Ruby Wax a while back with a guy whose fixation was inflation.
Ok. He was in a rubber suit. I've heard of that one...
But the idea was for her to blow him up... no, you misunderstand. With a foot pump, a willing partner and an inflatable rubber suit, he was one happy man...
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That will probably be Mr Blowup


http://www.mrblowup.com/


Not my thing at all, I stress, but I remember him because he occasionally appears on TV eg: Eurotrash,
 
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