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Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

Right, this thread's definitely not making the transition
There's the thing. It's like an embarrasing relative, in tow, during the road-trip.

You could all make a run for the door, whilst they're in the loo. You know that on so many levels, you should really just leave them behind. It would feel so right.... but it would also be wrong. Immorally immoral.

Because.... you'd find they would just pop-up again at the next service station, anyway. In a different guise. And as inappropriate and off-putting as ever. The undeniable obverse....
 
There's the thing. It's like an embarrasing relative, in tow, during the road-trip.

You could all make a run for the door, whilst they're in the loo. You know that on so many levels, you should really just leave them behind. It would feel so right.... but it would also be wrong. Immorally immoral.

Let's put it on the roof !

agran.png
 
A certain not-so-civil servant used to regale female newcomers to his section with the news that they could be impersonated by a pound of bacon in a rolled-up newspaper. :horr:

A former acquaintance of mine would doctor a melon and heat it in the microwave.
 
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get a poor doggie a bone, but when she bent over Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own
Weirdly, on a piece of disused land near Mansfield, Notts, UK, some distance from anywhere where the public have legitimate access, that entire verse is graffitied onto a disused railway bridge. (I used to see it regularly when I was trespassing on my unicycle.)
 
A former acquaintance of mine would doctor a melon and heat it in the microwave.

Purely out of interest, would I be right in assuming this involves boring a hole of a certain size in it? Presumably honeydew would be the preferred choice.
 
Purely out of interest, would I be right in assuming this involves boring a hole of a certain size in it? Presumably honeydew would be the preferred choice.

Yup, he reckoned he would indeed cut a hole in the melon. I didn't get any more details. Thank goodness.

Seemed a bit risky to me - who's to say how evenly the insides of the melon would heat up? You could hit a hot patch.
 
Yup, he reckoned he would indeed cut a hole in the melon. I didn't get any more details. Thank goodness.

Seemed a bit risky to me - who's to say how evenly the insides of the melon would heat up? You could hit a hot patch.
You could get a seed stuck somewhere you wouldn't want it.
 
Purely out of interest, would I be right in assuming this involves boring a hole of a certain size in it? Presumably honeydew would be the preferred choice.
I knew a chap who used to do it with a melon, and then tried a similar trick with a cauliflower. Ended up in a fruit and veg love triangle and even wrote a sad song about it. "Melon cauli baby..."

 
Going back to chickens for a moment - Where have I seen a photo of a man who had been shagging a (live) chicken when he was crushed by a boulder?

I think it was in FT.
 
Going back to chickens for a moment - Where have I seen a photo of a man who had been shagging a (live) chicken when he was crushed by a boulder?

I think it was in FT.

The story and photo appeared in the Fortean Times Book of Strange Deaths.


Couceiro-Orense-Chicken.jpeg
 
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I was going to say that this story's always struck me as a bit dodgy as a hen's genitals wouldn't accommodate a human penis.

However, it then struck me* that the hen's oviduct must be able to stretch wider than an egg's widest diameter so maybe he knew something I didn't. And there I shall leave the subject.

*possibly not as hard as the rock struck Mr Rivera
 
Going back to chickens for a moment - Where have I seen a photo of a man who had been shagging a (live) chicken when he was crushed by a boulder?

I think it was in FT.
It wasn't me or Frasier Buddolf.
 
I was going to say that this story's always struck me as a bit dodgy as a hen's genitals wouldn't accommodate a human penis.

However, it then struck me* that the hen's oviduct must be able to stretch wider than an egg's widest diameter so maybe he knew something I didn't. And there I shall leave the subject.

*possibly not as hard as the rock struck Mr Rivera
Either way, it may have been divine retribution.
 
I was going to say that this story's always struck me as a bit dodgy as a hen's genitals wouldn't accommodate a human penis.

However, it then struck me* that the hen's oviduct must be able to stretch wider than an egg's widest diameter so maybe he knew something I didn't. And there I shall leave the subject.

*possibly not as hard as the rock struck Mr Rivera

Publisher Larry Flynt of Hustler infamy said he and his friends used to have sex with chickens when they were kids. This is replicated in the film The People vs Larry Flynt (but not explicitly, before you worry).
 
Finger_Lickin.jpg


From the Mitch O'Connell Blog : "perhaps more appropriate if he'd surrounded himself with chickens and not little children .."

(That must be a threadkiller surely!)
 
Why are we linking offsite to the Spanish chicken shagger? Is it something to do with the new GDPR rules? It's just that I think it would bring so much to this thread if it were posted here in it's full glory.
 
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get a poor doggie a bone, but when she bent over Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own
Wow....this takes me back...I heard this verbatim while on a camping trip in New York State in 1968. I guess great poetry is truely immortal.
 
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