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Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

That's a weird coincidence, in the book I'm currently reading a character has sex with some leaves.
 
how is that even possible ? i presumed he was rolling around on the ground ... foliage incidental
 
As you Humans had an expression: "Try it, you'll like it" - In fact once you've had
sex with an advanced silicon life form - You'll never look back!
Captain Kirk encounters an advanced silicon life form in a dingy bar cave.

STDevil_inTheDark.jpg


However, green skinned, blue skinned, silicon based, our intrepid Captain is always ready.

star+trek+stalagtite.jpg
 
how is that even possible ? i presumed he was rolling around on the ground ... foliage incidental

The character is supposed to be high on angel dust and handcuffed behind his back, and naked. He's escaped from the cops, falls over and decides he likes the feel of the leaves on his naked form, so starts "thrusting" (that's the word used). Then he gets eaten by killer cockroaches. It's an 80s horror novel, what do you expect?
 
I have a small number of those very leaves.

$20 each, plus postage outside the UK.

Hurry now while stocks last.
 
I know someone who says he watches live porn streams entirely for such accidental joys as photo-bombing pets, terrible curtains and stains on the duvet.

His devotion to this task is astonishing! :oops:
 
Schweinhunds!

Bestiality brothels are 'spreading through Germany' warns campaigner as abusers turn to sex with animals as 'lifestyle choice'

  • Animal welfare officer Madeleine Martin problem of 'erotic zoos' is growing
  • She tells of farmer whose once friendly sheep began refusing human contact
  • So when he put CCTV in his barn he watched men file in and abuse his herd
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2352779/Bestiality-brothels-spreading-Germany-campaigner-claims-abusers-sex-animals-lifestyle-choice.html
 
Schweinhunds!

Bestiality brothels are 'spreading through Germany' warns campaigner as abusers turn to sex with animals as 'lifestyle choice'

  • Animal welfare officer Madeleine Martin problem of 'erotic zoos' is growing
  • She tells of farmer whose once friendly sheep began refusing human contact
  • So when he put CCTV in his barn he watched men file in and abuse his herd
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2352779/Bestiality-brothels-spreading-Germany-campaigner-claims-abusers-sex-animals-lifestyle-choice.html
Lovely ..
 
I missed this 'vibrant' local news story last month - a big bag of sex toys found dumped in the gutter in a Somerset town.

From https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/sex-toys-appear-been-dumped-3419879

" A variety of sex toys appear to have been dumped outside a bank in Bridgwater.

A post on Facebook from Richard Lees appears to show several pink and purple sex toys dumped by a pavement in the town centre.

Richard said he saw the haul outside the back of the Natwest bank on York Buildings.

However, he said he has no idea how they got there.

There appears to be between eight to ten items on the pavement of differing size..."


From the photo, there appears to be a good variety and selection! :sneaky2:
 
I missed this 'vibrant' local news story last month - a big bag of sex toys found dumped in the gutter in a Somerset town.

From https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/sex-toys-appear-been-dumped-3419879

" A variety of sex toys appear to have been dumped outside a bank in Bridgwater.

A post on Facebook from Richard Lees appears to show several pink and purple sex toys dumped by a pavement in the town centre.

Richard said he saw the haul outside the back of the Natwest bank on York Buildings.

However, he said he has no idea how they got there.

There appears to be between eight to ten items on the pavement of differing size..."

From the photo, there appears to be a good variety and selection! :sneaky2:
He was carrying them home and dropped the bag and someone noticed so he just said they were already there when he arrived! And he was called Dick.
 
I missed this 'vibrant' local news story last month - a big bag of sex toys found dumped in the gutter in a Somerset town.

From https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/sex-toys-appear-been-dumped-3419879

" A variety of sex toys appear to have been dumped outside a bank in Bridgwater.

A post on Facebook from Richard Lees appears to show several pink and purple sex toys dumped by a pavement in the town centre.

Richard said he saw the haul outside the back of the Natwest bank on York Buildings.

However, he said he has no idea how they got there.

There appears to be between eight to ten items on the pavement of differing size..."

From the photo, there appears to be a good variety and selection! :sneaky2:

This should have been reported on Buzzfeed.
 
I missed this 'vibrant' local news story last month - a big bag of sex toys found dumped in the gutter in a Somerset town.

From https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/sex-toys-appear-been-dumped-3419879

" A variety of sex toys appear to have been dumped outside a bank in Bridgwater.

A post on Facebook from Richard Lees appears to show several pink and purple sex toys dumped by a pavement in the town centre.

Richard said he saw the haul outside the back of the Natwest bank on York Buildings.

However, he said he has no idea how they got there.

There appears to be between eight to ten items on the pavement of differing size..."

From the photo, there appears to be a good variety and selection! :sneaky2:

An ex girlfriend of mine was once given a lift to my flat by her ex boyfriend which I thought was weird because she'd decided to turn up with a cardboard box full of sex toys.
 
Couldn't resist this comment:

My cousin is a doctor and she says there is a vase in the hospital filled with things they've taken out of people's privates. The vase is one of them.

Really brave from the surgeon to take and upload the pic... I ve removed a lot of things also dildoes cans and even smurfs (little statues of smurfs) but never got the balls to upload a pic like that

Who dares go look for the video, if this is true:

This actually happened in Russia last week. There is a video on a news site where doctors recover dildo from the intestine. And I have just seen it. Fuck. Why?

https://9gag.com/gag/am5PpY6
 
There's an even bigger dick, the guy, that is aweful, and why have they got phones in there, they cant take photos unless they have permission. I'm doubting if it is real
 
There are a lot of funny stories in the comments, like:
https://9gag.com/gag/aEg8WNe

once on a festival early in the morning when all the concerts were over i headed back for my tent and a couple was fucking right in front of my tent on the ground. i was thinking to let them finish but after a few minute i decided that I'm way too sleepy for this shit so i just stepped right over them and went to sleep

walked in on my parents, as one of them was hitting the wall with both hands, I was sleeping next door. In response I entered their bedroom, told them to be quiet (they hid suddenly under duvet) as I'm trying to sleep and went back to bed. It took me some time to realise what they were doing, because I was a kid back then.

I once got caught myself. My son asked if I was giving 'special hugs'... I hope he's not traumatised lol.

We had a really traumatized foster dog, poor thing always hid under the bed of my dad and stepmom. I think I spent two days under the bed with him until he'd come out. One time my hair got caught in the drawer handle and it opened when I pulled. Well, it was their sex toy drawer, really didn't need to see that

I was around 16 and my girlfriend came over. We were on the bad getting ready for some action, half naked. At that moment, my dad barges into the room (he came a bit early from work), looks straight at the two of us (the bed was right across from the door), make eye contact with me, moves his head to the side and continues walking to the balcony door on the other end of my room. My then gf pulls up a blanked up to her face and is blushing rapidly. My dad goes out onto the balcony, and the two of us get dressed (I'm laughing my ass off and she's still blushing). Two minutes later he comes back in, looks at the bed, makes a little surprised face and says "oh kids, you're here! I didn't see you there!" and gets out of the room.
I couldn't stop laughing for an hour...
 
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