• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

Weird Sex (Practices, Preferences & Accoutrements!)

OMG - we've now got 100 pages filled to the brim with weird sex... does that mean we are at the breaking point? Will the mods have to "work up" some magic mojo and create a new weird sex thread???

If so, I suggest we call it: The Spawn of Weird Sex Thread!
 
Surely that should be: "The Bastard Offspring of Weird Sex."

I suspect we are OK on the length at the moment but will consult about when it gets a little too "John Holmes."
 
Anybody ever read the Diaries of Hannah Cullwick?
She then obtained a position with an aristocratic family, who took her to London. There, in 1854, Cullwick met Arthur Munby on one of his regular urban expeditions to investigate working women. Munby was struck by her size (5' 7-1/2", 161 lbs) and strength, combined with the nobility of character he claimed to see in working women. Cullwick saw him as an idealized gentlemen who celebrated the intense labor she did as a maid of all work. In order to be near Munby, she began to work in varius middle-class households in London, including an upholsterer, a beer merchant, and widow with several daughters, as well as in lodging houses (which gave her more freedom from supervision). The two formed a lasting relationship that led to a secret marriage in 1873.

Before she met Munby, Cullwick saw a lavish musical called The Death of Sardanapalus, on the first time she had been to the theatre in her life. The musical, based on the play by Lord Byron, told of an ancient, pacifist king who loved one of his slave girls. The slave, Myrrha, loved the king, but also had her own democratic and republican desires. Cullwick identified strongly with the play's heroine.

Cullwick proudly referred to herself as Munby's "drudge and slave", and called him "Massa", an example of a Master/slave relationship. For much of her life, she wore a leather strap around her right wrist and a locking chain around her neck, to which Munby had a key. She wrote letters almost daily to him, describing her long hours of work in great detail. She would arrange to visit him "in my dirt", showing the results of a full day of cleaning and other domestic work. She had a particular interest in boots, cleaning hundreds each year, sometimes by licking them. She once told Munby she could tell where her "Massa" had been by how his boots tasted.

Despite her display of subservience and loyalty, Cullwick remained independent. She stood up for herself if she thought the terms of her relationship with Munby were being violated. She entered marriage with Munby reluctantly, seeing it as dependency and boredom. They were secretly married in 1873, after which she moved to his lodgings in Fig Tree Court, Inner Temple, where she lived as his servant, though she sometimes played the role of his wife. She also retained her own surname and insisted that Munby continue to pay her wages, and she had her own savings. She left him far more often than he did her, and in 1877 she returned to domestic service in Shropshire. Munby was a regular visitor from 1882 until her death.

Her diaries reveal that the erotic games with Munby often included infantilism and ageplay, with Cullwick carrying Munby in her arms and holding him on her lap. Cullwick appeared in Munby's photographs in many different roles: a farm girl, a kitchen drudge, a chimney sweep with blackface, a well-dressed lady (though with her hands, unmistakably those of a working women, prominently displayed), a Magdalen, and even as a man. Her ability to take different roles delighted Munby.
 
Continung my wonder at some of the piccies people post of themselves on Wikipedia, I bring you:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chastity_belt#Modern_use

This is a follow up to:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minge
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis#Erection
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis#Normal_variations
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anus#Health

One wonders if it is a new breed of exhibitionism a bit like the old fad of Reflectoporn:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/reflectoporn
http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/kettle.asp
http://www.perfectbluesky.com/reflecto/index.html

--------
I am also intrigued to see that Knob has a see also section which suggests wanker (it is also in the section for "tools"):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knob#See_also

I am glad someone has seen fit to illustrate the wanker gesture:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanker#Meaning

----------
On a completely unrelated note tonight's episode of CSI shown on channel 5 was called Fannysmackin':

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fannysmackin%27

Allegedly this was based on a kind of Happy Slapping thing, and they explained it away as saying it was because they beat up tourists who all wore fanny packs (bum bags to we Brits) but I have to think somewhere an Anglophile scriptwriter is wetting himself laughing.
 
A happy Valentine's Day to all our readers. :D
 
I believe this is known as a Snowbone:

Student is given a stiff penalty

Snowballs ... John's chilly willy artwork and, inset, the penalty notice

By JOHN TROUP
February 10, 2007

COMMENT ON THIS STORY

A COCKY student who built a 4ft manhood out of snow was fined £80 — by a cop called PC WILEY.

Crowds gathered to admire John Knowles’ cheeky creation and tickled motorists beeped their horns as they drove by.

But PC Andrew Wiley failed to see the funny side. He made John, 18, knock down his statue then hauled him to the nick.

John got a fixed penalty fine for the public order offence of making an offensive “visible representation” in Parker’s Piece, Cambridge, on Thursday.

He said: “The fine wiped the smile off my face — until PC Wiley told me his name, then I started chuckling.”

A police spokesman said: “The officer was concerned people in the area could be offended.”

www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007060775,00.html

Can't currently get the main link I had but the Currant Bun has a picture.

Previous Snow Porn:

www.forteantimes.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 553#499553

www.forteantimes.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 098#533098

www.forteantimes.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 117#594117
 
And in related news. Paging Mr I.C. Wiener:

Posted on Wed, Feb. 07, 2007

Man accused of being nude on ski lift

Associated Press

BRATTLEBORO, Vt. - Blame global warming. An Albany, N.Y., man is accused of riding nude in a gondola at Stratton Mountain Resort on Dec. 15. William N. Barrett III, 46, pleaded not guilty to felony lewd and lascivious conduct and misdemeanor marijuana possession Tuesday in Vermont District Court.

A witness reported to lift attendants that Barrett was nude and touching himself inappropriately while riding the lift.

Barrett, who was fully clothed when he reached the bottom of the hill, denied being nude. He told police he had taken off his jacket and shirt because of the nice weather.

He also was charged with marijuana possession. Police found a glass pipe and film canister containing marijuana in his pocket when they arrested him, authorities said.

www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/news/ ... 648342.htm
 
Mighty_Emperor said:
I believe this is known as a Snowbone:

Student is given a stiff penalty

Snowballs ... John's chilly willy artwork and, inset, the penalty notice

By JOHN TROUP
February 10, 2007

COMMENT ON THIS STORY

A COCKY student who built a 4ft manhood out of snow was fined £80 — by a cop called PC WILEY.

Crowds gathered to admire John Knowles’ cheeky creation and tickled motorists beeped their horns as they drove by.

But PC Andrew Wiley failed to see the funny side. He made John, 18, knock down his statue then hauled him to the nick.

John got a fixed penalty fine for the public order offence of making an offensive “visible representation” in Parker’s Piece, Cambridge, on Thursday.

He said: “The fine wiped the smile off my face — until PC Wiley told me his name, then I started chuckling.”

A police spokesman said: “The officer was concerned people in the area could be offended.”

www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007060775,00.html

Can't currently get the main link I had but the Currant Bun has a picture.

Previous Snow Porn:

www.forteantimes.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 553#499553

www.forteantimes.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 098#533098

www.forteantimes.com/forum/viewtopic.ph ... 117#594117

:rofl: :rofl: Well he was admired, so no one offended there PC Wiley.
 
Whats the laws for Nudists anyway? Are they only allowed to be naked In their colonies?
 
MaxMolyneux said:
Whats the laws for Nudists anyway? Are they only allowed to be naked In their colonies?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Issues_in_social_nudity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_nudity

and urmmmmmmmmm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudity_in_sport
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nudity_in_combat

To summarise (as best I know) is you can be in the nip at home or in nudist colonies. It just gets tricky when you are waving your bits around in areas overlooked by other folk. You'd presumably get arrested on some kind of indecency charge or "being in danger of having someone's eye out."

I suppose the main example is the Naked Rambler:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_hiking
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Gough

He has been arrested several times and put in prison in the course of his ramble.

His second Land's End to John O'Groats ramble, in 2005–2006, accompanied by his girlfriend Melanie Roberts, has led to further arrests — the current total being over 20, the most recent of which for being in contempt of court as he appeared naked before a judge.

Although I thought this as interesting:

He was arrested and imprisoned several times during both his walks. In both 2005 and 2006 the European Alps were crossed naked during a one week hiking (tour), there was little media coverage and no-one was arrested or troubled.
 
Under English law (Sexual Offences Act 2003) public nudity is illegal if it is intended to cause offence. Just being nekkid isn't legally a problem.

However, the Bill don't usually see it that way, and can anyway arrest anyone they feel is behaving unusually for public order offences. So they've got it covered. So to speak.
 
Sometimes when I'm totally bored I enter a few keywords in Flickr and see what comes up. I won't tell you the actual keyword, but here are a few funny ones:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jpurvis/183144125/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bendmyspoon/3176281/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/paranee/157336000/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/34925956@N00/391156884/

I like this original way of making graffiti:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/emilyhambidge/136156336/

I wonder what's going to happen here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/deadlyicon/96035939/
 
uair01 said:
Sometimes when I'm totally bored I enter a few keywords in Flickr and see what comes up. I won't tell you the actual keyword...

I wasn't "Kirk" was it?

kirk2.jpg
 
Mother sent explicit text messages to her friend's son, aged 13
MICHAEL HOWIE
HOME AFFAIRS CORRESPONDENT ([email protected])
A CHILDMINDER who sent explicit mobile-phone texts to a boy of 13 escaped a prison sentence yesterday after a sheriff said there were no sex-offender programmes for women behind bars.

Debbie Lane, 35, was instead ordered to serve 200 hours' community service and was put on probation for three years, after admitting lewd and libidinous practices.

Lane, a married mother of two and former Scout leader, formed a close relationship with the boy through her friendship with his mother - the court heard she had trusted Lane to look after her children while she was at work.

But the woman became concerned about the friendship her son was developing with Lane. She contacted the police after finding that her friend had been bombarding her son with explicit text messages.

Sheriff Ian Dunbar said while he had considered sending her to jail, he accepted "that prison resources to deal with sex offenders tend to be concentrated on male offenders".

He said: "The charge of this sort is not one which one normally sees committed by a female."

The sheriff went on: "The protection of children... is an important consideration in sentencing. I do not see that the work to address your behaviour that appears to be required could be done in a custodial setting.

"This is due to the relatively short length of sentence that might be appropriate. And it is also due to the fact that prison resources to deal with sex offenders tend to be concentrated on male offenders."

Dunfermline Sheriff Court heard that Lane, from Rosyth, had developed a close relationship with the boy after his parents had split up, and she attempted to help his mother to cope with the break-up.

The boy's mother became concerned about his friendship with Lane about New Year 2006, but she initially dismissed her fears.

However, the court heard she had been deeply shocked by the "overtly sexual nature" of a text message Lane sent to her son on 16 January last year. She alerted police, who took her son's phone and found Lane had sent several similar text messages to the boy over a ten-day period.

The sheriff said he had seen the messages, which were "all of the most explicit nature", and the boy was undergoing counselling.

He said he would refer the case to Scottish ministers to include her name on the list of persons who were unsuitable to work with children.

At an earlier court hearing, Sheriff Dunbar had placed Lane on the sex offenders register and, as a condition of her bail before yesterday's appearance, he had banned her from being alone with any child under 16 - other than her own children.

Ian Beatson, defending, said that Lane, who suffered from the chronic fatigue syndrome ME, blamed her behaviour on antidepressants she had been taking.

The boy's mother, who for legal reasons cannot be named, said: "That a mother and a wife would do something like this, not to mention a close friend, is terrifying."

NO TREATMENT PROGRAMMES FOR 'IGNORED' ISSUE
MORE than 220 women were convicted of sexual crimes in Scotland in 2004-5, the most recent year for which figures are available.

Despite that there are no programmes offered in Scotland's prisons designed for women sex offenders.

The prison service says there is little demand for such treatment as there are only a "handful" of female sex offenders in jail.

Dr Julia Davidson, an expert in the treatment of sex offenders, says prison managers should consider providing such treatment.

"Saying there are only a few female sex offenders in prison isn't really an excuse," said Dr Davidson, of Westminster University.

"Both the system in Scotland and the one in England and Wales have ignored the issue. One of the problems is, not enough is known about the motivation of female sex offenders."

http://news.scotsman.com/scotland.cfm?id=367272007
 
You've got to admire the Scottish legal system. 'Lewd and libidinous practices', indeed. 8)
 
A toss-up (steady, now) whether this is strange crime or weird sex (or indeed just a bit sad.)

From Auntie Beeb

'Elf' lingerie thief found guilty

A man who dressed up as Buho, a female elf, has been convicted by a jury at Belfast Crown Court of taking underwear from a shop in a knifepoint raid.

Robert Boyd, 45, from Broadlands in Carrickfergus, held up staff at the Orchid shop in Belfast disguised in a wig, hat and glasses.

He told the court he had been in a role-playing game at the time and may have blurred reality and fantasy.

Boyd was released on bail. Sentencing was adjourned for probation reports.

In court on Thursday, ten jurors dismissed Boyd's defence and two believed it.

During the three-day trial, the jury heard that Boyd wore a disguise of a blonde curly wig, reading glasses and a beany hat.

He armed himself with a knife before stealing two sets of bras, pants, suspender belts and stockings from the lingerie shop on the Lisburn Road.

The Queen's University senior lab technician was arrested within moments of the robbery on 14 December 2005.

In his defence, Boyd claimed that due to pressures that he was suffering in his work and marriage and his indulgence in a role-playing game called "Shadow Run", he thought he may have been playing the part of criminal elf Buho when he threatened the lone female shop owner at knifepoint after asking for a discount.

He claimed he had gone to the upmarket lingerie shop to buy the two sets of red and black undies as a Christmas box for his wife.

Fantasy

Describing how Buho was a character he had assumed while playing the game, Boyd further claimed that he had blurred the lines between fantasy and reality and did not intend to rob the shop.

"I didn't mean it to happen," he later told detectives.

His claims were supported by consultant psychiatrist Dr Jane O'Neill who told the court she thought that Boyd may have been dissociated from reality.

However her opinion was directly contradicted by consultant psychistrist Dr Frederick Brown.

He said he could find nothing to suggest that Boyd was suffering from a mental disorder that prevented him from distinguishing between fantasy and reality.
 
A real Kustom Kar Kommando:
Mechanic: I have sex with cars

By JOHN COLES
March 09, 2007

MECHANIC Chris Donald loves his work — he has sex with CARS. And he admitted last night: “Some men like boobs and bums, but I much prefer curvy bodywork.”

Chris, 38, has a recognised psychological condition that makes him physically attracted to motors. He has had sex with more than 30 different models in 20 years — plus two motorboats and a pal’s JETSKI.

Chris, who DOES have a girlfriend, confessed: “A nice car for me is a feast for the senses. It’s about smells, feelings and tastes. If I see a gorgeous Mercedes I know I’d love to jump into bed with it.”

His weird obsession mirrors that of electrician Karl Watkins, who The Sun revealed was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993. Chris has his own website devoted to his bizarre fetish — and claims there are 500 other cranks like him, including women.

But unlike doggers who have sex with strangers in chilly car parks, the motor engineer uses a heated and carpeted double garage at his home for the strange liaisons. He has met more than 20 people online who have driven their cars over for a service.

Most like to video Chris exhausting himself — while they are pleasuring THEMSELVES.

Chris said: “It’s all about imagination and creativity. There’s more to car love than exhaust pipes. Stroking the body panels and delicate touching makes excellent foreplay.” And he bragged: “I did have the exhausts custom made for one car because they were too small. I had them widened and rounded.

“The firm never asked why — but I loved the view while she was up on the ramp and they were working on her. I love all aspects of cars. Some people even like to taste mechanical fluids, but that’s going too far.”

Chris, who lives in the West Country, has made love to top motors including a Bentley Arnage, Porsche and Jaguar XK8.

He has also owned a string of cars that have been the object of his affections — with the latest a black 2.5litre Jaguar X-Type with cream leather upholstery. Chris writes stories about “auto-eroticism” on his website and has penned a manual called How To Make Love To A Car.

Experts believe his fetish is the result of a condition called paraphilia, meaning unusual sexual behaviour. They also believe it stemmed from childhood incidents.

Chris said:
At a young age I’d had a girlfriend or two and as I got older had plenty of other varied partners — cars just happened to be there for me too.

I became really interested in them at 17 when I had the first one I really loved, a blue Peugeot 205 that I called Laura. Then there was Lydia, a BMW 735i that was tuned and lowered. She was special.

Car lovers vary — a few like to remain faithful to one car all their life, others like to play the car park. Now I don’t get as emotionally attached to individual cars as I used to. They are not a substitute for humans. The truth is the opposite.

To be fascinated with any subject you have to be passionate and I love dealing with real people. I’ve been honest about my fetish with my partners — male and female — and only one girl was jealous. I’m currently in a long-term relationship and I couldn’t be happier.

Chris believes one spark for his fetish was 1980s cult TV series Knight Rider, starring David Hasselhof and featuring a talking car.He said: “When I was a young boy I used to see human qualities in cars. As I grew up I noticed I was having feelings towards cars and they began catching my eye in a certain way.”

Chris saw a psychiatrist when he was 17 and says he was told his fetish was nothing to worry about. Another expert, forensic psychologist Dr Keith Ashcroft — who specialises in human sexual behaviour — said yesterday: “This is a very unusual condition.

“But if you consider how cars are sexualised in modern advertising it is perhaps not a surprise.

“Within the broad range of sexual activity it is at the extreme edge, but it is not something for which he requires treatment.”
 
MrRING said:
Mechanic: I have sex with cars

Experts believe his fetish is the result of a condition called paraphilia, meaning unusual sexual behaviour.
You really have to hand it to those experts. "Unusual sexual behaviour", huh? Se nota, Sherlock.
 
MrRING said:
His weird obsession mirrors that of electrician Karl Watkins, who The Sun revealed was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Didn't he kill himself after all the publicity The Super Soaraway Sun gave him? Let's hope the car fancier doesn't go the same way.
 
I picked up this stunning Bentley last night but she was a real Trabant next morning. Exhaust dragging on the ground; beyond the help of those Quick-Fit boyos even. And she was nearly as bad! :(
 
Eyetracking survey proves... something about men:

When photos do contain people related to the task at hand, or the content users are exploring, they do get fixations. However, gender makes a distinct difference on what parts of the photo are stared at the longest. Take a look at the hotspot below.

Although both men and women look at the image of George Brett when directed to find out information about his sport and position, men tend to focus on private anatomy as well as the face. For the women, the face is the only place they viewed.

This image of George Brett was part of a larger page with his biographical information. All users tested looked the image, but there was a distinct difference in focus between men and women.

Coyne adds that this difference doesn’t just occur with images of people. Men tend to fixate more on areas of private anatomy on animals as well, as evidenced when users were directed to browse the American Kennel Club site.

www.ojr.org/ojr/stories/070312ruel/

The image:
www.ojr.org/ojr/images/1300/image7.gif
 
Haha! That men like to have a good butchers at other men's widgets. ;) :lol:
 
Barefoot Girl Media
NEW! Barefoot Belle in Asia: Dongdaemun, Seoul, Korea NEW!

Hardcore barefooting. This is easily the wildest, most dangerous, exotic, and dirty place Belle has EVER gone barefoot. She left the apartment without her shoes and took the subway to Dongdaemun Market, a combination of indoor and Asian open-air street-markets. She had gone there barefoot a lot, and kept urging me to tape her experiences. The ground was black, littered, and puddled, but she dodged the worst of it and enjoyed the day. You’ll see her feet get blacker and blacker as she works her ways through crowds of Koreans. Lots of hard miles on her little bare feet, plenty of great tight shots of her black soles, and lots of head to toe shots… so you can, once again, see her face!

or
Grubby Toed Bumpkin Goes to the Big City

We have begun traveling around to Ren. Faires… a great place to meet barefoot girls. Well, on this particular day we encountered barefoot girl Kari! What amazed us most about Kari right from the start was the effortless way she handled the endless acres of big white gravel. We called her to our booth and she boasted of hating shoes, so we video-taped her and invited her out for a night on the town. Much to our delight she agreed to join us and showed up with no shoes at all and about the grubbiest toes we’ve ever seen. Being a country girl, (as in… raises pigs, goats, and the whole bit) she was totally unfamiliar with city streets and had no idea what her bare feet were in for. Regardless, she had a great time, and it is all caught on video, from the mall to the streets to dockside nightlife. She is truly a hardcore barefoot girl… and as a bonus, one of our other regularly featured barefoot girls goes along for the ride, so you get two for the price of one! Lots of great head to toe shots and lingering shots of her dirty soles.
 
Back
Top