What Were You Doing Five Minutes Ago?

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Fortea Morgana :) PeteBirdie certificated Princess
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Came across something unexpected on eBay there.

Took me right back to my upbringing in 60s Glasgow.

I used to wear these all the time...

View attachment 17701
Phwoar! I know several pubs and pther gathering places where this would get you many admiring glances!
 

Lord Lucan

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Eating a sweet chilli chicken thigh whilst listening to a podcast about Hitler and watching next door's cat fighting with a bee.

I am confident that that is the first time in history the above sentence has ever been used.
I was about to type this very sentence when I realized that we do not have a ''What were you doing ten minutes ago?'' thread. You win.
 

Kryptonite

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I was about to type this very sentence when I realized that we do not have a ''What were you doing ten minutes ago?'' thread. You win.
Are you sure you didn't see Hitler eating a bee while a cat fought with a chicken thigh? It could be very easy to get mixed up.
 

Floyd1

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Burning the hair out of my ears with a cigarette lighter. (If you've ever been to a barber in the middle east you'll know all about this.) There, it's not just a quick rush-job and then getting home to find they've only done half a job. A lighted spill is used to do the above, plus nose hair, and then they get some cotton thread and wrap it around their hands and 'pinch' any hair from your cheeks. Marvelous value for money. Of course they can't do the spill thing here anymore... 'Health and Safety', you understand.
 

hunck

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That's brought back childhood memories of going to the barbers with my dad. It was one of those weird places behind a tobacconist/sweetshop - you had to walk through the sweetshop & open a door to the barbers. I had to sit on a plank they put on the chair to raise me up to scissor level.

They used to do singeing, which my dad had done, & involved passing a lighted taper over his head as part of the barbering process. It looked a bit mystical to me & I think was supposedly to promote hair growth but was probably utter bollocks.

They had strange products like styptic pencils as well.

Personally I wouldn't go near my ears or nose with a flame & as regards nose hair, grab the offending hairs & yank swiftly works pretty well.
 

JamesWhitehead

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I, also, saw this singeing done on a number of occasions, when I was a sprog, awaiting my turn and when not engrossed in the titty-magazines.

It was a superstitious belief in action: cut hair bled vitality but cauterizing it sealed in all your vim; elderly customers demanded it. I should think of that now, before submitting to the scissors! :reap:

I did once own a shaving-brush with styptic magic to be accessed in the handle. Staunched the blood, they said. Anything painful does you good. :fork:
 
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Floyd1

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That's brought back childhood memories of going to the barbers with my dad. It was one of those weird places behind a tobacconist/sweetshop - you had to walk through the sweetshop & open a door to the barbers. I had to sit on a plank they put on the chair to raise me up to scissor level.

They used to do singeing, which my dad had done, & involved passing a lighted taper over his head as part of the barbering process. It looked a bit mystical to me & I think was supposedly to promote hair growth but was probably utter bollocks.

They had strange products like styptic pencils as well.

Personally I wouldn't go near my ears or nose with a flame & as regards nose hair, grab the offending hairs & yank swiftly works pretty well.
Where was this hunck, in the UK?
I'm sure there are places that still do it, London I would certainly think and anywhere with a sizeable Arabic/Muslim population. I don't think they'd be too concerned with 'health and safety' regs.
I don't know about the 'promoting hair growth' thing; as far as I'm aware it's just purely a good way to get rid of the odd straggly hair.
I do admit I won't be doing my nose this way again though- far too painful.
I once borrowed some of the girlfriends hair removal cream. I'll be the first to admit it did say 'not to be used on ears or face', but I thought 'How bad can it be?' Turned out- pretty bad. I looked like Nikki Lauda with third degree burns. Terrible stuff.
 

escargot

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I once borrowed some of the girlfriends hair removal cream. I'll be the first to admit it did say 'not to be used on ears or face', but I thought 'How bad can it be?' Turned out- pretty bad. I looked like Nikki Lauda with third degree burns. Terrible stuff.
There's a famous review of that stuff on Amazon (I think) where a bloke tries it on his scrotum. You might enjoy reading that as misery loves company, what!
 

maximus otter

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I once borrowed some of the girlfriends hair removal cream. I'll be the first to admit it did say 'not to be used on ears or face', but I thought 'How bad can it be?' Turned out- pretty bad. I looked like Nikki Lauda with third degree burns. Terrible stuff.
Customer Review


John W. Osborne Jr.
5.0 out of 5 starsVeet -- the Men's Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . .
30 July 2012
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.


Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-
7,754 people found this helpful


https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

maximus otter
 

JamesWhitehead

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Last edited:

Floyd1

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Customer Review


John W. Osborne Jr.
5.0 out of 5 starsVeet -- the Men's Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . .
30 July 2012
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.


Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-
7,754 people found this helpful


https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

maximus otter
I'm going to be laughing all weekend at that.
 

hunck

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Where was this hunck, in the UK?
I'm sure there are places that still do it, London I would certainly think and anywhere with a sizeable Arabic/Muslim population. I don't think they'd be too concerned with 'health and safety' regs.
I don't know about the 'promoting hair growth' thing; as far as I'm aware it's just purely a good way to get rid of the odd straggly hair.
I do admit I won't be doing my nose this way again though- far too painful.
I once borrowed some of the girlfriends hair removal cream. I'll be the first to admit it did say 'not to be used on ears or face', but I thought 'How bad can it be?' Turned out- pretty bad. I looked like Nikki Lauda with third degree burns. Terrible stuff.
Yes, UK - London. You're probably right about the getting rid of the odd straggly hair, though why you wouldn't use electric clippers to do it I don't know.

My nose sometimes springs two protruding white hairs, like tiny elephant tusks. I am proud of them. No swift yanking takes place.
Symmetrically one in each nostril I hope. Two in one, none in the other would be all wrong.
 

escargot

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I don't think this review is entirely true; I am told that depilatory creams leave the skin feeling very cold. Nor does it mention the smell! :gobs:
Depilatory creams have to be used very carefully indeed. For example, they mustn't be rubbed in, and they are unsuitable for sensitive skin of any type. So lobbing a handful down there and merrily swirling it around isn't advised.

I speak as a cyclist.
 

Ogdred Weary

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Customer Review


John W. Osborne Jr.
5.0 out of 5 starsVeet -- the Men's Hair Removal Gel Creme (from hell) . . .
30 July 2012
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.


Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-
7,754 people found this helpful


https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5

maximus otter
I've read a different one that did the rounds on FB many years ago, I dare say there are many similar.
 

Rerenny

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watching Baby Driver. The scene with "Intermission" and "Hocus Pocus"...I want to pick Edgar Wright up and twirl him around like he's the bestest kid ever

now for the rest of the film...
 
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