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What Were You Doing Five Minutes Ago?

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Dodging Romanian George when me and the Mrs were walking back home .. trouble follows him everywhere .. and he speeds up to you when he's drunk so number 3 moment tonight was me pulling the Mrs into a carpark for a snog .. and the wanker still tried to walk up to us? .. I whispered to her that if he gets any closer I'm just going to punch him so she snogged me again .. then I told him "Fuck off George, we're having a private moment" .. and he left .. he's got problems so I'm glad I didn't punch him but he's a creep that needs a punch from someone. I watched him block a mobility scooter pensioner once and told him to get out of the man's way. George.
 

skinny

TIT
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Dreaming in bed.
Black magic. I was tasked in a fairly general way with binding a sexual deviant to her sin. It was gross. I'll skip the details. I seemed to be making a bit of a hash of it until a senior came to check on me, told me not to fuss too much and how to tighten up the process. I was not satisfied with the result.

This was the end of a fairly pleasant sequence of swimming and camping with a group of hippies at the northern tip of the planet. As we swam, an enourmous whale cruised by me huffing away like an air breathing mammal. It was visceral. I trod water transfixed as it slowly glided away from me with a back you could land a plane on. Majestic beast.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
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Paying those rapacious bastards hard-working civil servants at HMRC a three-digit sum.

It's good news, though: Some time ago, I checked the government's State Pension Forecast site, assuming that I would be fine and qualified for the maximum, after my thirty years' police service and one or two other odds 'n sods.

I was surprised to find that I wasn't, due to the last sixteen years (and counting, heh-heh...) of idleness and no contributions.

I rang the government Future Pension Centre and sought advice. It transpired that if I paid a few years of voluntary contributions, I could raise my monthly pension from the then-current estimate of £135 per week to a possible maximum of roughly £160 per week. In other words, if I sent them a low four-digit sum, I would be in profit after less than 3½ years, i.e. before I was 70! It was a no-brainer, obvs.

So, at the cost of half a lifetime listening to the kind of hold music that makes me want to cut myself, I have sowed my seed corn, and shall reap the benefits in beer & ammo money for at least a decade and a half.

:cool:

maximus otter
 

catseye

Old lady trouser-smell
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I was writing. Unfortunately I left the book a few days ago where I had been writing about a lovely warm and sunny day - which it then was, in real life. I then had to pick it up and continue writing about the sunny warm day whilst sub-arctic winds ricocheted around my room and the temperatures outside froze birds to the branches.*


*Not literally but it feels cold and even the dog didn't want to stay out in the garden for longer than necessary.
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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Trying to watch the classic 1959 movie Prehistoric Woman - the quality of the film was so faded, so blurry, that any scene in even the slightest shadow may as well have been filed at the bottom of a cave at midnight. I would recommend a remake of this movie...
 

Frideswide

Fortea Morgana :) PeteByrdie certificated Princess
Staff member
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Realising that I've done with socialising today (haircut) and also done with any processing I can leave out. So I'm now switched to screen reader and listening to a pleasant-ish voice read the board to me.
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
Realising that I've done with socialising today (haircut) and also done with any processing I can leave out. So I'm now switched to screen reader and listening to a pleasant-ish voice read the board to me.
How now, brown cow.
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.
Etc...
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Of course it's the hidden Bose battery-powered speaker :pipe: Play police sirens. Hide it where they can't find it, like under the stoop when they go back in, start 'er up again --you know :evil:
I don't want to cause trouble, apparently I already do that by having the audacity to be living quietly next door.
 

Souleater

Justified & Ancient
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brownmane

off kilter
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I also have a bird i.d. app and so use it to sing back to the birds (the only one I can really imitate is a cardinal). The app must be fairly good as when I use it in the house, it confuses my cats. They perk up almost immediately, looking for the bird:chuckle:
 
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