What Were YOUR Erroneous Childhood Beliefs?

[Ghost In The Machine]

Children internalise things. When I was a child there was very much a culture of 'we don't talk about those things.' Before I was born, my mother had a baby boy who was stillborn. This was absolutely and totally never ever mentioned or talked about. I only found out about it as a late teen, when an aunt let something slip and I put two and two together. But there had been remarks or half-heard things that had made me imagine all sorts of dire events in the family - I even managed to build a case for my father having been put in prison! (Probably some combination of a misunderstood side-comment), which, for anyone who knew my father, was so ridiculous as to have been laughable but, I feared, it had happened once and it could happen again and I had low-level fear that one day he would be taken away.

If only it could have been talked about. If my elder brother could have been mentioned. It would have made some of my mother's behaviour much more understandable and I could have been more sympathetic towards her. I truly hope that younger generations have much better levels of emotional communication than were common in the 50's and 60's, because there must have been some dreadful levels of pain that were just never mentioned.

I had a medical thing that meant I had a number of miscarriages. And also had this vivid, totally unexplained, memory of going to town one day with my mum and her looking at prams. Would've been the late 60s and so as you say, nothing really said. No baby materialised and one hadn't even been mentioned in front of us kids, I don't think. And she died not long after that, several years later. And it took me years to put two and two together and realise that what I had was genetic and maybe my mum had also had a series of miscarriages.

Before anyone expresses any sympathy, don't worry about it, as I feel oddly disconnected from the whole thing now, and although I was devastated when I lost babies at the time, I feel nothing about it at all now, apart from the one that was the non indentical twin to my oldest. I do sometimes think about that one. (Not my first miscarriage but certainly when you end up with a living baby who was the twin of one whose face you'll never see, you are left with more emotions, maybe). But generally, oddly, I feel no grief or pain any more about that time in my life. I was able to let go of it, years ago. Writing about it is like writing about someone else.

I do feel sad for my mum, though, and wonder how many miscarriages she might have had. I went on to have a large family, notwithstanding, but she only had two kids and I'm certain would have liked more. It just wasn't even talked about, though. Not even to the person you had in tow when you were looking at prams.

Maybe I had an erroneous childhood belief and thought she was looking at a pram for the dog as my old pram was used for that purpose, for many years (probably why it was knackered).

 

[Sollywos]

Hi there @Ghost In The Machine. I'm wondering if the fact that you went on to have a large family helped with the dealing with the miscarriages? How far did you get with them? Mine were 3 at the 6 month mark (in fact one of them was considered a still birth as it went to 28 weeks and the other two at 26 and 27 weeks) and two during the first trimester which is more usual I think.

My two adopted lads kept me busy and it's really in my old age that those early losses have resurfaced as if I'd not dealt with them properly at the time.

For the first two late ones I was told to shut my eyes and like a fool I did and when I asked the sex I was told 'it's better not to know'. None of this taking hand and foot prints and being allowed to hold them as seems to happen now. I've no idea what happened to the bodies.

Friends didn't want to know the 'birth stories' and would change the subject if I tried to join in. What did they think happened to them ... that they just got absorbed into my blood stream or something? Looking back I'm more cross with myself than them I should't have let them be so dismissive and rude but it's hard to explain the total feeling of inferiority that the losses left me with when all around me women were dropping babies left right and centre 'just like that'!

When I was very young my sister and I watched while my mum had a miscarriage only of course we didn't know that's what it was. She'd put us both into the cot in the main bedroom and I remember her crying out for Dad who was at the top of the garden and couldn't hear her and I remember the blood.* It was only much later that I realised what it was when earwigging one of her conversations with a friend! In fact it was the earwigging that led me to undersand that most women had had at least one miscarriage and the reason why you never told a soul you were pregnant until the first trimester had been safely passed! One of my great aunts in between two live births had numerous miscarriages and I think some of those may have been late ones.

*I'm guessing it was that event and mum being convinced that dad ignored her on purpose that was the reason she never got pregnant again! I think Dad really hadn't heard by the way but I can see why she felt pissed off with him!!

 

[ChasFink]

I just remembered another belief of my childhood: The Memorial Day ceremonies I would attend typically would have 7 rifles fired three times as a tribute to the war dead, followed by the playing of "Taps". I thought the "Taps" was in tribute to anyone who was accidentally killed by the rifles that had just been fired.

Today is Memorial Day, and the local parade was canceled out of an extreme overabundance of caution: the predicted storms are not due until mid-to-late afternoon. When I was a child the parade passed right by my house in my old neighborhood. This must be a real letdown for the local kids.

The ceremonies have been moved from a local park to the indoor community center. I hope they don't hit anyone with the 21 gun salute.

 

[gojiramonkey]

Have re read this thread from the beginning and had a good chuckle!

A few more from me:
When I was around 2/3 yrs old I used to think that chairs had feelings and were hurt when people sat on them. The careless manner in which people ignored this information really upset me. At one point I felt so much empathy for those poor sofa cushions that I tried to pull them away to rescue them.
I also believed that we hurt grass when we walked on it.

I secretly used to eat pages from the new shopping catalogue because the smell fascinated me, then became upset when it didn't taste the same way.

I used to believe that our horses had magic doorways in their hooves. When I was old enough to 'pick' a horses hooves myself I thought the doorways had been sealed off by a devious blacksmith.

I was very young at that time but thought Michael Foot was Margaret Thatcher's husband.

And I truly believed you could dig a hole to get to Australia.

I used to believe that my dinner had feelings and I used to eat peas or potatoes or carrots as a group before moving on to other things on the plate because I found it absolutely distressing to think they would be alone and scared in my tummy without each others company.
It still lingers on today , I'm afraid, if I'm out and about and have to , say , blow my nose , I will use at least two pieces of tissue in order that if they are put in a public bin , then they have each others back to defend themselves against other rubbish in the bins !! That's if I don't take them home to put in MY bin so they are around familiar "faces" . I wish I was making this up !! I don't know what happened specifically in my formative years but I fear I could keep a world class psychiatrist in work for a lifetime....
Other than that , I'm pretty normal. Ish. And very secretive!!

 

[Sollywos]

Hi @gojiramonkey! Well now I don't have thoses specific tendencies but many that are quite similar. I wonder what is behind the impulse to personify in that manner? I've already admitted upthread about my belief that water has feelings although I have grown out of that. I've also grown out of the worry that sweet wrappers have feelings and finding it really difficut to put them on the fire without telling them that they were going to be turned into smoke and were going to heaven!

However I did feel sorry for some blueberries that I accidently dropped on the floor earlier today and so had to go straight to the compost bin and not get eaten. I tell myself not to be so bloody daft but it's as if the thought comes from somewhere deep without my conscious concent!

It was quite reassuring to read your post

 

[gojiramonkey]

Hi @gojiramonkey! Well now I don't have thoses specific tendencies but many that are quite similar. I wonder what is behind the impulse to personify in that manner? I've already admitted upthread about my belief that water has feelings although I have grown out of that. I've also grown out of the worry that sweet wrappers have feelings and finding it really difficut to put them on the fire without telling them that they were going to be turned into smoke and were going to heaven!

However I did feel sorry for some blueberries that I accidently dropped on the floor earlier today and so had to go straight to the compost bin and not get eaten. I tell myself not to be so bloody daft but it's as if the thought comes from somewhere deep without my conscious concent!

It was quite reassuring to read your post

Well , thank you for your understanding reply!! I honestly thought that everyone would now just ignore anything I had to say in any future posts !! Yes , it's bloody strange I know , I have no idea where this comes from initially in my childhood and the fact it has lingered either makes me stupidly empathic or a total madman... But I'm glad I'm not the only one

 

[gojiramonkey]

Well , thank you for your understanding reply!! I honestly thought that everyone would now just ignore anything I had to say in any future posts !! Yes , it's bloody strange I know , I have no idea where this comes from initially in my childhood and the fact it has lingered either makes me stupidly empathic or a total madman... But I'm glad I'm not the only one

Yes , I think after such a bold confession, I need a nice glass of wine to take the shame away !! Don't feel guilty about consuming the wine , though .... Hmmm

 

[kesavaross]

Well , thank you for your understanding reply!! I honestly thought that everyone would now just ignore anything I had to say in any future posts !! Yes , it's bloody strange I know , I have no idea where this comes from initially in my childhood and the fact it has lingered either makes me stupidly empathic or a total madman... But I'm glad I'm not the only one

I think there are many, many people like you except they keep such things to themselves. Who knows how these things come about? My advice for what it's worth, just accept who who are if you haven't done so already.

 

[gojiramonkey]

I think there are many, many people like you except they keep such things to themselves. Who knows how these things come about? My advice for what it's worth, jut accept who who are if you haven't done so already.

Thank you.... Well I have no choice, really!! And it doesn't really bother me too much, it is just a part of me , if I may quote a Tool song ....

 

[kesavaross]

Yes , I think after such a bold confession, I need a nice glass of wine to take the shame away !! Don't feel guilty about consuming the wine , though .... Hmmm

There's no shame. I leave my flat in the morning, usually, and press the button for the lift, yet I always check my front door is locked before the lift gets to my floor even though I checked my door was locked when I locked it. I just accept that's what I do. It makes no sense. I know the door is locked yet I still check it.

 

[Floyd]

I used to believe that my dinner had feelings and I used to eat peas or potatoes or carrots as a group before moving on to other things on the plate because I found it absolutely distressing to think they would be alone and scared in my tummy without each others company.
It still lingers on today , I'm afraid, if I'm out and about and have to , say , blow my nose , I will use at least two pieces of tissue in order that if they are put in a public bin , then they have each others back to defend themselves against other rubbish in the bins !! That's if I don't take them home to put in MY bin so they are around familiar "faces" . I wish I was making this up !! I don't know what happened specifically in my formative years but I fear I could keep a world class psychiatrist in work for a lifetime....
Other than that , I'm pretty normal. Ish. And very secretive!!

I have a wallet that I have carried for at least 30 years.

It is starting to fall to bits now (I sewed it a few years ago, but it's getting to the point where I will have to throw it soon).

I won't be able to just put it in the bin and walk away.

I'm thinking that I'll have to give it some kind of viking funeral.

We've done some miles together I'll tell you.

 

[escargot]

A bit like @gojiramonkey's tissues - as a kid I had an idea that all the stones and pebbles lying around in the streets would like to live in the local park.
It was near my house so if I saw any on the pavement on my way home I'd help them by dribbling them along the pavement, sometimes two at a time, leaving them in the gutter or under the hedge ready for the next person to give them a lift.

 

[Floyd]

A bit like @gojiramonkey's tissues - as a kid I had an idea that all the stones and pebbles lying around in the streets would like to live in the local park.
It was near my house so if I saw any on the pavement on my way home I'd help them by dribbling them along the pavement, sometimes two at a time, leaving them in the gutter or under the hedge ready for the next person to give them a lift.

Ah, Crewe in the 1920s...............

 

[escargot]

Ah, Crewe in the 1920s...............

We'ad a proper town back then wi'steam engines an' smoke an' proper pebbles.

 

[pandacracker]

My turn, my turn! As a child I used to feel sorry for single pebbles and sticks lying in the school playground. I'd put them in my pocket where they could be friends together. When my mother found them she asked me about it (in her often aggressive manner) I said I was going to make model animals out of them (stones for heads and bodies, sticks for legs)

This coincided with a time when I had no friends to play with at play-time but I don't think there's any connection... er...

 

[Ghost In The Machine]

I used to believe that my dinner had feelings and I used to eat peas or potatoes or carrots as a group before moving on to other things on the plate because I found it absolutely distressing to think they would be alone and scared in my tummy without each others company.
It still lingers on today , I'm afraid, if I'm out and about and have to , say , blow my nose , I will use at least two pieces of tissue in order that if they are put in a public bin , then they have each others back to defend themselves against other rubbish in the bins !! That's if I don't take them home to put in MY bin so they are around familiar "faces" . I wish I was making this up !! I don't know what happened specifically in my formative years but I fear I could keep a world class psychiatrist in work for a lifetime....
Other than that , I'm pretty normal. Ish. And very secretive!!

Well that was surprisingly cute.

 

[gojiramonkey]

I have a wallet that I have carried for at least 30 years.

It is starting to fall to bits now (I sewed it a few years ago, but it's getting to the point where I will have to throw it soon).

I won't be able to just put it in the bin and walk away.

I'm thinking that I'll have to give it some kind of viking funeral.

We've done some miles together I'll tell you.

Give it the proper send off it deserves, my friend..... My wallet is about 20 years old now.... I tend to put them in drawers (not the underwear kind , but who knows ??) and let them sleep soundly indoors ... Leather ones are the most fragile.... I had an Opeth one which self destructed in a matter of a few years.... I imagine it got slung out when I moved house 5 years ago

I have a wallet that I have carried for at least 30 years.

It is starting to fall to bits now (I sewed it a few years ago, but it's getting to the point where I will have to throw it soon).

I won't be able to just put it in the bin and walk away.

I'm thinking that I'll have to give it some kind of viking funeral.

We've done some miles together I'll tell you.

 

[Iris]

I used to take ages getting home from school on wet days because I felt compelled to rescue worms that had washed out into the gutter.

 

[Fluttermoth]

Yes; I'm another over-empath!

I treat basically everything as if it's alive. I move the plates and glasses around so no-one gets left out. I talk to the kettle quite a lot! When my children were small, I used to sit up dollies and straighten their dresses, and make sure the teddies hadn't fallen on their faces and that they had a nice view! I also make little piles and arrangements of pebbles and sticks so they have 'friends'. I still keep a soft toy dog in my bed (I like to snuggle something, but I'm single, and my cat objects ) and I was thinking just last night that perhaps he gets lonely during the day and I should find another puppy to keep him company. My best friend is the same; I mend her soft toys for her, because she trusts me to tell them what I'm doing and not mistreat them
I know it's silly, and they don't have feelings, but i just can't shake the compulsion (both me and my friend do have OCD, so maybe it's related?)
And they probably can't appreciate it, but I always pick up worms or butterflies if I see them on the pavement; even if they're dying, I put them somewhere quiet in a hedge or flowerbed, nothing should have to die out in the open on hot concrete :*(

 

[catseye]

Yes; I'm another over-empath!

I treat basically everything as if it's alive. I move the plates and glasses around so no-one gets left out. I talk to the kettle quite a lot! When my children were small, I used to sit up dollies and straighten their dresses, and make sure the teddies hadn't fallen on their faces and that they had a nice view! I also make little piles and arrangements of pebbles and sticks so they have 'friends'. I still keep a soft toy dog in my bed (I like to snuggle something, but I'm single, and my cat objects ) and I was thinking just last night that perhaps he gets lonely during the day and I should find another puppy to keep him company. My best friend is the same; I mend her soft toys for her, because she trusts me to tell them what I'm doing and not mistreat them
I know it's silly, and they don't have feelings, but i just can't shake the compulsion (both me and my friend do have OCD, so maybe it's related?)
And they probably can't appreciate it, but I always pick up worms or butterflies if I see them on the pavement; even if they're dying, I put them somewhere quiet in a hedge or flowerbed, nothing should have to die out in the open on hot concrete :*(

I am the same with worms! I have to rescue them from the road when I'm out running and I find them stranding on a damp day in the middle of the road. Some of them have probably been trying to get to the other side for years and I keep coming along and shoving them back where they started!

 

[Steev(still)]

@gojiramonkey I do a very similar thing with my veg. When cooking and dishing up, I cannot bear it if I leave an orphan pea or bit of sweetcorn in the pan. I somehow feel their life has been wasted and they will be "sad", so I make sure to scrape every last one onto the plate.

 

[Frideswide]

@gojiramonkey I do a very similar thing with my veg. When cooking and dishing up, I cannot bear it if I leave an orphan pea or bit of sweetcorn in the pan. I somehow feel their life has been wasted and they will be "sad", so I make sure to scrape every last one onto the plate.

I /still/ eat all my veggies for the same reason!

 

[Sollywos]

Ah bless you @Fluttermoth thanks for owning up to that! I also rotate my plates etc for the same reason. I always have to apologise to my hoover as I'm usually so bad tempered while using it and it's not his fault. Whoever painted a face onto the Henry Hoovers have got a lot to answer for!!!

But I just want to reassure you that Teddy Bears and other soft toys really do have feelings so you are not being silly!!

I once took my teddy who is 3 years younger than me into work (a university library) to show off his new clothes. Well here's the thing most of my collegues actually talked to him to tell him how smart he looked and how it must have improved his confidence!* The boss however looked thoroughly bemused a kind of 'I thought my staff were all intelligent human beings what's all this madness' look in his eyes.

So knowing he was a church goer I carefully explained it.

1) Are we or are we not made in Gods image?

2) Did he or did he not breath the breath of life into a pile of mud and thus began us.

3) Therefore we also have the ability to breath life into inamimate objects.

Simple basic logic!!!

I can't say I convinced him especially as he knew I didn't believe in God. But there you go that's the nearest I can explain it!!!

Yeah yeah I know they don't really have consciouness ... but there again ... whistle.

*I hadn't actually expected that reaction at all. I'd only taken him in to show one of my collegues who had expressed an interest when I told her, a bit sheepishly, what I'd been doing at the week-end lol

@Steev(still) Oh briliant me too!!!
This thread has taken such a reassuring turn!

 

[Salmonellus]

Yes; I'm another over-empath!

I treat basically everything as if it's alive.

This is a very interesting discussion, Fluttermoth, both from you and from everyone else that reports similar feelings. I would tend to class the idea that 'everything is alive' as essentially being animism. Animism holds that everything has a soul. Not only that, but if things have souls then we must also look at the relations of things to other things, just as people have relations with other people.

So - are we seeing the core of Forteanism here? I'm not talking about Forteanism as being the study of any defined subject in particular, be it UFO's or ghosts or what have you, but Forteanism as the core philosphy that drove Fort to write his works. We often forget the philosophical aspect , but Fort expressed it in the Book of the Damned as:

My liveliest interest is not so much in things, as in relations of things. I have spent much time thinking about the alleged pseudo-relations that are called coincidences. What if some of them should not be coincidences?

And that part - the importance of 'relations of things' - seems to be the intuitive mode of thinking that you and others are describing.

So is it easier for the over-empaths who see everything as alive to accept the Fortean perspective? I suspect that's true, and it might offer us some insight into why we're here posting on this board rather than contributing to Sceptics Anonymous!

 

[catseye]

This is a very interesting discussion, Fluttermoth, both from you and from everyone else that reports similar feelings. I would tend to class the idea that 'everything is alive' as essentially being animism. Animism holds that everything has a soul. Not only that, but if things have souls then we must also look at the relations of things to other things, just as people have relations with other people.

So - are we seeing the core of Forteanism here? I'm not talking about Forteanism as being the study of any defined subject in particular, be it UFO's or ghosts or what have you, but Forteanism as the core philosphy that drove Fort to write his works. We often forget the philosophical aspect , but Fort expressed it in the Book of the Damned as:

My liveliest interest is not so much in things, as in relations of things. I have spent much time thinking about the alleged pseudo-relations that are called coincidences. What if some of them should not be coincidences?

And that part - the importance of 'relations of things' - seems to be the intuitive mode of thinking that you and others are describing.

So is it easier for the over-empaths who see everything as alive to accept the Fortean perspective? I suspect that's true, and it might offer us some insight into why we're here posting on this board rather than contributing to Sceptics Anonymous!

When I was a child, I had a 'stable' of hobby horses. Each one had a very distinct personality, likes, dislikes and abilities. Some could jump, some couldn't, some were 'show ponies' and others were workaday cobs. It was astonishing how, if I were riding one of the 'non jumping' ones, I suddenly couldn't jump....

 

[Robin]

I am the same with worms! I have to rescue them from the road when I'm out running and I find them stranding on a damp day in the middle of the road. Some of them have probably been trying to get to the other side for years and I keep coming along and shoving them back where they started!

Good for you, I rescue worms quite often.

 

[Tunn11]

I could empathise with Marge Simpson when she said: " Sand makes me sad because it used to be big rocks, but not anymore."

I think as a kid I read about a Native American belief that everything had a soul and somehow it stuck in my mind and still surfaces at times. I remember feeling guilty for chucking stones in the sea as it had taken them so long to work their way up the beach.

​

 

[Tunn11]

When I was a child, I had a 'stable' of hobby horses. Each one had a very distinct personality, likes, dislikes and abilities. Some could jump, some couldn't, some were 'show ponies' and others were workaday cobs. It was astonishing how, if I were riding one of the 'non jumping' ones, I suddenly couldn't jump....

Although I painted loads of model figures I only wargamed a few times but there were lucky and unlucky units. An elite set of cataphracts, armoured men on armoured horses with spears, bows and arrows that took ages to paint (Try doing the eyes through the helmets) would run if a few scruffy javelinmen chucked some pointy sticks at them. A few light infantry, spray painted brown with hands and faces added with a splodge of paint and unpatterned shields would ace dice throws every time and charge through a Roman legion routing everything in their way.

 

[catseye]

Is anyone else finding this bit of the thread utterly adorable? We're such a bunch of old softies aren't we?

 

[Robin]

I could empathise with Marge Simpson when she said: " Sand makes me sad because it used to be big rocks, but not anymore."

Can I not save one from the pitiless waves?...is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?