What's The Most Outrageous Conspiracy Theory You Have Heard?

Mungoman

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catseye

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I have it on the authority of a family friend who worked in a technical position at the BBC in the 60's and 70's that the TV vans were all fake - just mock up's to frighten folk into paying.
I also espouse this belief, but just yesterday got a huge Firefox article pop up on how the vans actually are supposed to work. I don't know enough about electronics to know whether it's likely or not, but there was a long page of comments afterwards with people who seemed to find it likely.

But I STILL reckon it's a load of crap and all done from addresses. And I think this because people I know who didn't have a television kept getting knocks at the door from the licence people. Surely it would be cheaper to park a van around the corner and know for certain whether someone used a TV (if the vans actually worked), than send people round knocking on doors on spec?
 

Spookdaddy

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I have to say, a Jewish space laser to start wild fires in order to clear land for a high speed rail project, is right up there with the dingbat end of things.

Especially when it is being espoused by a member of Congress.
Source here.
Look at all the other stuff she believes in as well. Who votes for her?

The letters that make up ‘MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE’ and ‘GEORGIA’ are an anagram of ‘I EAGERLY GO ENRAGE RE MAJOR RIOT’.

(And she's managed to squeeze conspiracy theories out of much less than that.)
 
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Ascalon

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The letters that make up ‘MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE’ and ‘GEORGIA’ are an anagram of ‘I EAGERLY GO ENRAGE RE MAJOR RIOT’.

(And she's managed to squeeze conspiracy theories out of much less than that.)
The scales have fallen from my eyes!

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Lobeydosser

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I also espouse this belief, but just yesterday got a huge Firefox article pop up on how the vans actually are supposed to work. I don't know enough about electronics to know whether it's likely or not, but there was a long page of comments afterwards with people who seemed to find it likely.

But I STILL reckon it's a load of crap and all done from addresses. And I think this because people I know who didn't have a television kept getting knocks at the door from the licence people. Surely it would be cheaper to park a van around the corner and know for certain whether someone used a TV (if the vans actually worked), than send people round knocking on doors on spec?
They absolutely do just go by records, ie when you buy a device capable of recieving you are supposed to give the shop details which they pass on, likewise SKY, Virgin etc pass on all records of who subscribes.
In theory you can track recievers - TV or Radio - the Gestapo did it a bit with limited success during the war, thing is in a street with nearly every house having a set, it's a bit hard to get 3 units to triangulate on the one flat in the hi rise they suspect has an "illegal" device.
Also they have been claiming to have this magic ability since the 1950's.
Some more info -
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2016/08/bbc-tv-licence-vans-wi-fi-snooping-analysis/?comments=1
https://www.theregister.com/2016/08/06/bbc_detector_van_wi_fi_iplayer/
And this lad goes on a bit in his video , but covers it fairly well - http://www.factfiend.com/bbc-claims-tv-detecting-super-vans/
 
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Spookdaddy

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The scales have fallen from my eyes!

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In which case, you might be interested in a thing I’m developing - called QUanker.

There'll be some overlap with the Hullaballoo movement and the Nice Boys – I’ve asked some of the militias too, but apparently they are running out of really big trousers. Guns and flak jackets are optional, but you really need the shirt - something eye-wateringly Hawaiian, or maybe a nice polo (But not Fred Perry – terribly last year. We’ll have to work on the dogwhistle branding – maybe Craghoppers, or Edinburgh Woollen Mill). You’ll also need one of those helmets that makes you look like you fall over a lot and have to be dressed by your mum.

Starting small: spoons give you cancer, sitting down makes you sterile, and there’s no such thing as cats or Denmark - stuff like that. The big one’s going to be that WHO is developing toilets fitted with vacuum pumps that suck out your internal organs and post them straight to China via an international pneumatic ejector sewage system being built under the cover of HS2 and Nord Stream. Also, that ASOS are trafficking children via their sales of sneakers - but I haven’t quite worked out how you get them in the box yet.

In the meantime. Wanna buy a t-shirt? Or some supplements?
 

PeteS

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In which case, you might be interested in a thing I’m developing - called QUanker.

There'll be some overlap with the Hullaballoo movement and the Nice Boys – I’ve asked some of the militias too, but apparently they are running out of really big trousers. Guns and flak jackets are optional, but you really need the shirt - something eye-wateringly Hawaiian, or maybe a nice polo (But not Fred Perry – terribly last year. We’ll have to work on the dogwhistle branding – maybe Craghoppers, or Edinburgh Woollen Mill). You’ll also need one of those helmets that makes you look like you fall over a lot and have to be dressed by your mum.

Starting small: spoons give you cancer, sitting down makes you sterile, and there’s no such thing as cats or Denmark - stuff like that. The big one’s going to be that WHO is developing toilets fitted with vacuum pumps that suck out your internal organs and post them straight to China via an international pneumatic ejector sewage system being built under the cover of HS2 and Nord Stream. Also, that ASOS are trafficking children via their sales of sneakers - but I haven’t quite worked out how you get them in the box yet.

In the meantime. Wanna buy a t-shirt? Or some supplements?
I'm deffo in S. Where do I send my money and my old tin foil hat?
 

catseye

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In which case, you might be interested in a thing I’m developing - called QUanker.

There'll be some overlap with the Hullaballoo movement and the Nice Boys – I’ve asked some of the militias too, but apparently they are running out of really big trousers. Guns and flak jackets are optional, but you really need the shirt - something eye-wateringly Hawaiian, or maybe a nice polo (But not Fred Perry – terribly last year. We’ll have to work on the dogwhistle branding – maybe Craghoppers, or Edinburgh Woollen Mill). You’ll also need one of those helmets that makes you look like you fall over a lot and have to be dressed by your mum.

Starting small: spoons give you cancer, sitting down makes you sterile, and there’s no such thing as cats or Denmark - stuff like that. The big one’s going to be that WHO is developing toilets fitted with vacuum pumps that suck out your internal organs and post them straight to China via an international pneumatic ejector sewage system being built under the cover of HS2 and Nord Stream. Also, that ASOS are trafficking children via their sales of sneakers - but I haven’t quite worked out how you get them in the box yet.

In the meantime. Wanna buy a t-shirt? Or some supplements?
We also need sensible shoes. Possibly those sandals that are so enclosed they look like ordinary shoes with bits cut out? They're very practical.
 

Ascalon

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So, @Spookdaddy, you are well on your way to working out all of this, so fair play.
Let me just point out the increased risk of accidentally, brutally, falling out a window, cutting your head off while shaving, or getting a very bad case of the collywobbles after high tea with some cathedral enthusiasts, depending on who you might piss off.

But apart from that, tally ho!
 

Austin Popper

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We also need sensible shoes. Possibly those sandals that are so enclosed they look like ordinary shoes with bits cut out? They're very practical.
Yes, comfy shoes will be a must when sitting down makes you sterile. You could also re-package some of those electronic mosquito repellent gadgets as 5G jamming force fields, for a fat profit. Those would sell like hotcakes.
 

Spookdaddy

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Yes, comfy shoes will be a must when sitting down makes you sterile. You could also re-package some of those electronic mosquito repellent gadgets as 5G jamming force fields, for a fat profit. Those would sell like hotcakes.
Shameless in-joke alert.

Hmmm, @Austin Popper . I'm not entirely sure that the precepts of your Gnomonism sit comfortably alongside those of my QUankery. After all, everyone knows that the Jimmerson Spiral was developed in an Israeli laboratory using Chinese technology funded by George Soros (dressed in a white suit, sitting in a secret base under a mountain, stroking a white cat with one hand while cracking walnuts with the other - mechanical - one), and developed with the sole intent of undermining the true faith that underpins the original and one true concept of the Jimmerson Lag.

In-joke all clear.

I fear my nascent project is already under attack by diabolical agents of the unholy Liberal Elite.

Praise the lord and pass the medication.

Wibble and out.

You are Alex Jones and I claim my 5 pounds.
I reckon if I was Alex Jones I could do with losing a lot more than a few pounds; I don't know exactly what he puts in his health supplements - but I think we can safely assume that lard is one of the main ingredients.
 
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Lobeydosser

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Yes, comfy shoes will be a must when sitting down makes you sterile. You could also re-package some of those electronic mosquito repellent gadgets as 5G jamming force fields, for a fat profit. Those would sell like hotcakes.
Shhh.... that's "real", you don't think anyone actually uses them for insects do you ?
 

Naughty_Felid

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I also espouse this belief, but just yesterday got a huge Firefox article pop up on how the vans actually are supposed to work. I don't know enough about electronics to know whether it's likely or not, but there was a long page of comments afterwards with people who seemed to find it likely.

But I STILL reckon it's a load of crap and all done from addresses. And I think this because people I know who didn't have a television kept getting knocks at the door from the licence people. Surely it would be cheaper to park a van around the corner and know for certain whether someone used a TV (if the vans actually worked), than send people round knocking on doors on spec?
I love the UK still paying for the BBC and the Royals - jeez can we not move on? The rest of the planet has.
 

Souleater

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In which case, you might be interested in a thing I’m developing - called QUanker.

There'll be some overlap with the Hullaballoo movement and the Nice Boys – I’ve asked some of the militias too, but apparently they are running out of really big trousers. Guns and flak jackets are optional, but you really need the shirt - something eye-wateringly Hawaiian, or maybe a nice polo (But not Fred Perry – terribly last year. We’ll have to work on the dogwhistle branding – maybe Craghoppers, or Edinburgh Woollen Mill). You’ll also need one of those helmets that makes you look like you fall over a lot and have to be dressed by your mum.

Starting small: spoons give you cancer, sitting down makes you sterile, and there’s no such thing as cats or Denmark - stuff like that. The big one’s going to be that WHO is developing toilets fitted with vacuum pumps that suck out your internal organs and post them straight to China via an international pneumatic ejector sewage system being built under the cover of HS2 and Nord Stream. Also, that ASOS are trafficking children via their sales of sneakers - but I haven’t quite worked out how you get them in the box yet.

In the meantime. Wanna buy a t-shirt? Or some supplements?
Have to be craghoppers, edinburg woolen mill has gone the way of topshop :D
 

Krepostnoi

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Have to be craghoppers, edinburg woolen mill has gone the way of topshop :D
That's what they want you to think. In fact, TPTB are trying to keep us from the truth by stopping us buying Quanker apparel.
 

catseye

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So...so the Quanker uniform is little Top Shop dresses - and sandals?

I mean, I'm going to be all right, but Swifty is going to be royally pissed off. I think he's voting for a onesie.
 

Peripart

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Have to be craghoppers, edinburg woolen mill has gone the way of topshop :D
Sorry, Souleater, I'm not stalking you today, I promise, and certainly not with the aim of contradicting you, but EWM are still going. They've been bought out of administration, and most of the jobs and stores have been saved.

Never distrust the QUanker!
 

Aurora Newman

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I've been trying to find this guy. Can't remember his name. But he's on YouTube. Or he might be banned,like he was from so many multimedia sights. Basicly he does all his stuff ghetto, so his hood and other dogs can understand these conspiracy theories. I found his stuff like a breath of fresh air, because it was ghetto , unique and listened to hi s stuff 2 months straight. Then I lost touch with him. But when I watched his stuff months later if was so wrong he had become a nutter. Stalking celebrities, saying they're illuminati . There also something about Nicky Minaj. He hounded and hounded her. Then he was banned from lots of places.
 
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