What's The Most Outrageous Conspiracy Theory You Have Heard?

Austin Popper

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Shameless in-joke alert.

Hmmm, @Austin Popper . I'm not entirely sure that the precepts of your Gnomonism sit comfortably alongside those of my QUankery. After all, everyone knows that the Jimmerson Spiral was developed in an Israeli laboratory using Chinese technology funded by George Soros (dressed in a white suit, sitting in a secret base under a mountain, stroking a white cat with one hand while cracking walnuts with the other - mechanical - one), and developed with the sole intent of undermining the true faith that underpins the original and one true concept of the Jimmerson Lag.

In-joke all clear.

I fear my nascent project is already under attack by diabolical agents of the unholy Liberal Elite.

Praise the lord and pass the medication.

Wibble and out.



I reckon if I was Alex Jones I could do with losing a lot more than a few pounds; I don't know exactly what he puts in his health supplements - but I think we can safely assume that lard is one of the main ingredients.
Busted.

My powers seem to be diminishing ever since I lost the Rod of Correction.
 

Souleater

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Sorry, Souleater, I'm not stalking you today, I promise, and certainly not with the aim of contradicting you, but EWM are still going. They've been bought out of administration, and most of the jobs and stores have been saved.

Never distrust the QUanker!
Not a problem, i dont really follow the news on fashion outlets, that was just the last i heard of them :p
 

David Plankton

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How do you pronounce this 'Quanker'?
Is it -
Cue Wanker
or
Kwanker?

Would the qwestion of which spelling is correct be enough to split this movement into two rival factions? Or am I just baiting the Quanks?
 

Austin Popper

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How do you pronounce this 'Quanker'?
Is it -
Cue Wanker
or
Kwanker?

Would the qwestion of which spelling is correct be enough to split this movement into two rival factions? Or am I just baiting the Quanks?
I figured it was canker. That might be a little too benign though.

Maybe Q Wankers? Sounds just like Cue Wankers, but anything that confuses the Normals works to our benefit.
 

Spookdaddy

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How do you pronounce this 'Quanker'?
Is it -
Cue Wanker
or
Kwanker?...
Given the intended target audience for the movement there is an official policy of syllabic limitation - this being the case, the latter is the preferred pronunciation.
 

catseye

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Given the intended target audience for the movement there is an official policy of syllabic limitation - this being the case, the latter is the preferred pronunciation.
Shouldn't we pronounce it something like 'Chumley-Fanshaw' to completely obfuscate our origins?
 

Spookdaddy

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Shouldn't we pronounce it something like 'Chumley-Fanshaw' to completely obfuscate our origins?
I fear that the sheer syllabic weight involved might deeply confuse our core membership.

In regard to the original query:

Given that Q as a letter is somewhat advanced in the alphabet it was originally proposed that we settle for something the A side of F; after all, we are well aware that education is a plot created by the elites to poison children with knowledge other than that given to us by swivel-eyed old men made mad by the desert sun - and as a movement we embrace the quality of being as dumb as box of rocks as a sign of grace.

But it was decided that, as the baseball caps had already been printed, we’d stick with Q.
 
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kamalktk

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I've just seen this woman on FB, and queried similar. An American FOAF commented that she'd heard that there was no Democratic opponent when she was elected? o_O
There was an opponent, but they had to withdraw due to family issues and it was past the deadline for other candidates to enter the race. The lack of opponent was not nefarious. Given the traditional voting patterns of the district she was likely to win by a large margin in any case.
 

Lord Lucan

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There are so many good (bad and absurd) ones that it's hard to choose, but one I like that I read of from time to time all over the Internet is that music superstar Taylor Swift is a clone of Zeena LaVey/Schreck, daughter of Anton LaVay, founder of The Church of Satan.
I mean, who wouldn't believe such claims when photos like this exist?

taylorswiftzeenalavey.jpg
 

Naughty_Felid

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How do you pronounce this 'Quanker'?
Is it -
Cue Wanker
or
Kwanker?

Would the qwestion of which spelling is correct be enough to split this movement into two rival factions? Or am I just baiting the Quanks?
Maybe we can have a new Aladdin pantomime with wee Jimmy Qwanky of The Qwankies fame playing Widow Qwanky? The set design could be done by Qwanksy?

Actually, I wouldn't bother going to see it tbh.
 

XBergMann

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[/QUOTE said:
[QUOTE="Krepostnoi, post: 20
You mean they haven't? o_O
Mossad did try to target Cromer with their Direct Energy Weapon back in 1995 but missed due to GPS satellites not being very good back then and hit Brighton Pier by mistake.

Here's proof...

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2003/may/12/arts.artsnews

The head of Mossad had just returned to Tel-Aviv after a 2 week camping holiday in Cromer where it had rained every day and after 2 weeks in a damp tent eating shit food and being unable to operate the showers properly in the communal shower block he wanted revenge.

Cromer had a lucky escape that day and in 2021 the camp site remains open and it is still raining.
 

Aether Blue

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"The Reformed Church of Satan, aided by the Post Office, the Orbital Mind Control Lasers, and the Bermuda Triangle attempts to take control of the Semiconscious Liberation Army!"
 

Analogue Boy

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There are so many good (bad and absurd) ones that it's hard to choose, but one I like that I read of from time to time all over the Internet is that music superstar Taylor Swift is a clone of Zeena LaVey/Schreck, daughter of Anton LaVay, founder of The Church of Satan.
I mean, who wouldn't believe such claims when photos like this exist?

View attachment 34802
That’s total bollocks. Taylor Swift invents a time machine in the future and goes back into the past and has it off with Anton La Vey and then produces a clone of her own daughter also sent back into the past to take the place of herself. Simple really.
 

Lord Lucan

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That’s total bollocks. Taylor Swift invents a time machine in the future and goes back into the past and has it off with Anton La Vey and then produces a clone of her own daughter also sent back into the past to take the place of herself. Simple really.
Did this one mention that Zeena's or Taylor's middle name was 'Dolly'?
 
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