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What's The Most Outrageous Conspiracy Theory You Have Heard?

Damn right, the theorists' feelings of empathy go flying out the nearest window with depressing regularity, pretty rich from folks who claim to care about the world so much.

On the subject of President Reagan (him again) there was a good one which in hindsight seems to set the "nothing is real" template: his assassination attempt that he survived was all staged at a point he was struggling in the polls, and it worked because he became more popular than ever. The proof? When he emerged from hospital, he waved with the same arm he had been shot under, with no apparent pain or hindrance whatsoever! Well, he did like to wave...
 
I had an encounter with my mate Dave yesterday. Dave loves a good conspiracy and never lets logic or anything approaching reality hinder his theories. Yesterday he was giving me his expert analysis of the Shoreham plane crash. According to Dave, the plane came in low, stopped and hovered above the road while a special effects crew set off some explosions and scattered debris. The plane then flew away, below tree level (unseen and unheard) and landed vertically at a nearby farm where it was hidden in a barn until things quietened down!

I pointed out to him that his theory was based on the fact he couldn’t tell the difference between a Hawker Hunter and a Hawker Harrier. His response was to shake his head and say in a very patronising voice “It’s a Hawker!”

“But it was a Hunter not a Harrier. Hunters aren’t vertical take-off and landing planes.”

“It’s a Hawker! They can all hover. That’s why they are called Hawkers!”

Of course, I should have realised that the Hawker Hurricane’s VTOL abilities helped it defeat the Luftwaffe during the Battle of Britain.

Dave also believes the moon landings never happened because it’s impossible to get to the moon…but he also believes there have been bases on Mars for decades.

He always reminds me of a Groucho Marx line, “He may look like an idiot, he may talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you; he is an idiot.”
 
Feel free to question him on other topics, it could be interesting.
 
A couple more Dave moments.

A tree in his street was blown down by high winds. Needless to say Dave saw something sinister in this.
"Why were the police involved? Why did they set up a diversion? Was there something they didn't want people to see?"
"Why was the tree removed so quickly?"
"Why were the military involved?" That got a big "Eh?" "Well one of the people pretending to be council workers was wearing camouflage trousers. Military!"
"Er, you wear camo trousers when you are metal detecting."
"Yes but I'm a civilian."

Dave also wanted us to call the authorities over a "suspicious rainbow." It was one of those rainbows where it's fading away and just the end is showing - Dave was convinced that "something on the ground" was causing the multi-coloured glow.

That earned him this response from one of his fellow detectorists.
"Dave, have you got something wrong with your digestive system?"
"No, why?"
"Because more shite comes out your mouth than comes out of your arse!"

One of these days I'll write a book about him.
 
During a bout of insomnia last night I decided to listen to a podcast about the Philadelphia Experiment and the Montauk Project. That's a pretty labyrinthine conspiracy as it is, but the guest decided to make it even more ridiculous by dragging Aleister Crowley into it.

Apparently Crowley was undertaking a magical working in Cornwall at the exact same time they were firing up the equipment on the USS Eldridge, and he may have precipitated the rift in time though which Al Bielek fell.

Also there are underwater cables directly connecting Cornwall with the Montauk base that siphon off magical energies from megaliths, or some such mullarkey.

At that point I decided to listen to some music instead.
 
I've just been chatting with someone who's told me that the www part of www.com is the mark of satan. Apparently www in Hebrew translates to 666. No wonder I've been watching so much porn ! ;)

I haven't investigated this theory any further yet but I'm reminded of being told that bar codes on pretty much everything we all buy has three thicker black lines that a computer can sort of read as the number 6. I suppose it gives the number 23 a well deserved holiday at the very least.


edit: This lady is using the internet to tell us why we shouldn't be using the internet ..

 
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This seems like the most relevant thread. President Obama was asked what his favorite Obama-centric conspiracy theory was

"That military exercises we were doing in Texas were designed to begin martial law so that I could usurp the Constitution and stay in power longer," he told Simmons. "Anybody who thinks I could get away with telling Michelle I’m going to be president any longer than eight years does not know my wife."

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/obama-jade-helm-15-conspiracy
 
I prefer the one about Obama teleporting to Mars in his youth, as part of a secret CIA program.
I love that one!
Andrew Basiago says it all completely dead-pan. Sheer entertainment.
 
I'm inventing an observation based crazy conspiracy theory ..

The band The Fugees .. the word shortened obviously from refugees. If you listen to the song 'Ready Or Not' from their album 'The Score', there is a lyric in the above mentioned song that states "I refugee from Guatanamo Bay, dance across the border like I'm Cassius Clay" .. that was rapped by the French black MC Wyclife Jean, all of this before 9/11 ..

The proverbial 'bloke in the pub' once told me that he used to like the band untill lead singer Lauren Hill announced on stage that "This is only for the black people" .... I'll find a link to that brain fart (or not) later, I'm just on my way out of the door to work.

Are The Fugees terrorist sympathisers?. "Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide .. I'm going to find you, and take things slowly" ...

 
Guantanamo Bay has been a US base for decades, so it's not that unusual a reference.
 
So I don't have to call MI5 after all then? .. good because I haven't got much phone credit left anyway.


"I want to play with pelicans from here to BAGHDAD" & "A born again hooligan only to be king again" ... there's something else entirely going on with this song recorded by a band essentially calling themselves the refugees and skipping border control ... Lets play the record in reverse, there's bound to be some evil hidden stuff mannn! ... *has a huge toke on a spliff* ;)
 
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One conspiracy theory I often find is that we humans never have left earth in rockets at all. Some of the theorists blame the Van Allen belts. That makes everything which has happened in space since ever, fake.
 
This one is rather special...
A subgroup of Benedict Cumberbatch fans believe that his marriage is a sham and their child is actually a plastic doll.
Some of these fans appear quite threatening.
http://www.xojane.com/issues/cumberbitches-tried-to-get-me-fired

Even though this is celebrity related, it's interesting how much the pattern resembles those strange theories about crisis actors
 
Maybe the superfans are so used to Benedict playing characters that they have convinced themselves he's doing so in his daily life too? Not necessarily good to mix fantasy and reality.
 
Long before social media enabled fans to feed each other's fantasies, there were networks of obsessive fans of Barry Manilow!

In this biography, their obsession is compared to that of James Joyce scholars!

Reading for clues, intertextuality . . . I can almost see it!

They called themselves 'Fanilows', according to this page!

I passed on the entertaining but disturbing paperback I once read about obsessive fans but I remember it well. In Manilow's case, almost all of them identified as women and bonded via newsletters and personal mail. Though in theory, they could be seen as competitors they settled for the comfort-zone of a shared 'Manilove.'

In the case of Manilow, real female rivals may have been thin on the ground. These Cumberbitches sound even more demented and - quite possibly - dangerous! :eek:

A 2008 Mail article on the Fanilows.
 
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Mike Reed had a most odd superfan by the name of Blue Tulip Rose. She used to regularily turn up at Classic FM with chocolates for him while wearing a t-shirt bearing the legend "Mrs Mike Read". A year or two later she showed up on Britain's Got Talent howling like a dog to the tune of Phantom of the Opera.
 
Another unlikely recipient of obsessive fan attention was Ken Dodd.

. . . whose stalker was detained indefinitely in 2003, according to this article.

The theme has been explored in Scorsese's King of Comedy, which dates from 1982, where the celebrity is played by Jerry Lewis. Lewis had a real-life stalker, one Gary Randolph Benson, who died in prison in 2001. According to this article, the stalking began in 1989 and had its origin in a personal grievance against the star. Benson did show up at Lewis's home with a gun.

A - mainly American - list of celebrities and their stalkers is in this book.

Many of these are loners and take us away from the conspiracy theme of the thread. Of course, tragic cases such as those of John Lennon and Jill Dando have generated a fog of conspiracy theories. The conviction of Barry George for the Dando murder has troubled many outside of the usual conspiracy channels . . . :(
 
Many of these are loners and take us away from the conspiracy theme of the thread. Of course, tragic cases such as those of John Lennon and Jill Dando have generated a fog of conspiracy theories. The conviction of Barry George for the Dando murder has troubled many outside of the usual conspiracy channels . . . :(
I absolute can't give a source (for which I apologise, I dislike anecdotal as much as aynone), but the feeling inside the police is that Barry George was guilty, but the prosecution case was bungled by rushing it through.
 
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