What's Your Superhero Special Power?

A

Anonymous

Guest
1. The ability to continually mishear things - recently a car ad featured "keyless ignition", which I heard as "penis ignition"... I'm not sure what "penis ignition" is (or more crucially how it works), but it sure sounded like a big selling point

2. The ability to come up with amazing, earth shattering etc ideas and forget them as soon as I think "That's incredible!....what?"

3. The ability to attract the hideously drunken, and to spend the rest of the night listening to their fascinating slurred rambles, and act as their crutch (no, not crotch). This power is made all the more interesting when combined with 1.

I proclaim myself as "What? Man"...though, let's face it I'd probably hear it as "Twat Man"...hmmm ...seems power 1 reveals the truth..... :(

Ooohh, I have the Casio keyboard too - that pre-programmed tune still drives me crazy (especially when on flute and bossanova)
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
God - it just happened again. I've just spent a minute wondering why one of the reply options read "Disable similes in this post" - I mean what's wrong with similes? are metaphors allowed?

I need help!
 

Ioethe

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Sep 6, 2001
Messages
105
Reaction score
2
Points
49
I don't get searched. Clubs, festivals, whatever - even at really security conscious events.

*Shrug*
 

Mr_Seaweedski

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Aug 25, 2002
Messages
173
Reaction score
6
Points
49
Ioethe said:
I don't get searched. Clubs, festivals, whatever - even at really security conscious events.

*Shrug*

So is your special super hero power the ability to emit an aura of trustworthyness, or to become invisible to seven foot flourescent jacket wearing meatheads?:D

Just wrote that description of security guards for alleged comedy value, less than 90% of security fall into that category.:D :D :D

Sorry must stop being rude to people bigger and more inclined to violence than meself.
 

TheOriginalCujo

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Jul 27, 2001
Messages
848
Reaction score
26
Points
49
I have the power to fake sobriety no matter how drunk I am.

Cujo
 

Beakmoo

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Sep 20, 2001
Messages
2,968
Reaction score
175
Points
94
What I wouldn't give for that power when Himself comes home tonight.
 

TheOriginalCujo

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Jul 27, 2001
Messages
848
Reaction score
26
Points
49
beakboo said:
What I wouldn't give for that power when Himself comes home tonight.

Drink a lot of water. It might not help but at least you wont have to put up with him gloating at your hangover tomorrow morning.

Cujo
 

Beakmoo

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Sep 20, 2001
Messages
2,968
Reaction score
175
Points
94
Ha! He won't be here to witness it. He'll be at work, I don't work Thursdays, so I'll be here trying to remove the cat's piss from under the stairs before the gas man gets here. Actually, thinking about it, there is no "Ha!" :(
Should I finish the bottle? It's only 0.4 grams of carbohydrate per glass.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Delbert said:
I have a very light version of this power. I seem to pick up static charges very easily, which then discharge to the nearest piece of metal / person. It is, in fact, the least practical and most irritating "power" that I can think of!

Of course, I don't have conscious power over it.
Well I'm sure with enough training delbert you will be able to wield your static forces and have the almighty ability to annoy! :D
 

LaurenChurchill

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Jan 29, 2003
Messages
679
Reaction score
32
Points
49
Marius said:
The ability to come up with amazing, earth shattering etc ideas and forget them as soon as I think "That's incredible!....what?"

Ohmygod I hate that! I SWEAR I proved (theoretically, of course) that there was no God and then as soon as I thought "I can rub THIS in Tennille's face the next tme she tell's me I'm going to hell" I forgot how I did it.
I was really quite cut about that coz she told me I was 'going against God's will' today and that would have been great to throw at her... :hmph:
I find it really funny that I'M supposed to be the one who's going against God and the Bible when SHE'S a lesbian. Nothing against lesbians or gays or anything, but I hate when people pick and choose what they believe and then tell me I'm wrong.

Sorry guys, I'm over my daily gripe now.

So how's about that local sports team?:D
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Search said:
Well I'm sure with enough training delbert you will be able to wield your static forces and have the almighty ability to annoy! :D

"Halt, Evildoers!"

"Oh no, it's StaticMan! Quick, let's run away while he's still rubbing a balloon against his jumper!"
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Delbert said:
"Halt, Evildoers!"

"Oh no, it's StaticMan! Quick, let's run away while he's still rubbing a balloon against his jumper!"
:rofl: :rofl: it'd be enough to stop me from commiting evil!!!
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
I can set car alarms off by my head striking a pillow. Like all superheroes, I also have a special vehicle which attracts twats in SUVs into my path.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Dark Detective said:
I can set car alarms off by my head striking a pillow. Like all superheroes, I also have a special vehicle which attracts twats in SUVs into my path.
and blows their tires out? or is that just the shoddy subpar OEM products doing it ;)
 

ArthurASCII

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Feb 26, 2002
Messages
1,538
Reaction score
38
Points
79
The superhero power I would like is...................

TACT
 

TheQuixote

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Sep 25, 2003
Messages
3,293
Reaction score
38
Points
69
My super-ability is to be able to lie convincingly, with a straight face no matter how sober/inebriated I am.
Take for example- convincing my older brother one day that the Queen Mum (Gawd bless 'er) had died. This was about 1996, and although I could not back it up with any news reports etc he still believed me and went on to inform family and friends for at least 2 days that he had it on good grounds that she was dead.

Convincing the Police at 4am after a very boozy night out with friends, who had just thrown a traffic cone over a local police station's carpark, that it wasn't us (even though they had picked us up on CCTV) they let us go after we had given them false names and address- I was Holly Golightly- 'Where do you live?'
'20 Park Drive *******' 'On yer way then'

I have also managed to convince a guy that the reason that he had not seen me for ages, was that I was working as a stunt double for Sargent June Ackland on ITV's 'The Bill'. The beauty of this was that my friend was standing by me in the club, and had not heard our conversation, when I tapped her on the shoulder and said 'Isn't this the truth??' she just mumbled 'Er..yeah' not realising what she had agreed to. I am still asked by passing aquaintances if I have had any stunt work recently.
This power has not backfired on me yet, although I am more than aware that 'The boy who cried wolf' met a sticky end.

My other super-ability is 'Homing Pigeon Power'. I have never been lost, even in places I have never been before. I can read maps and give 12- digit grid references (strange for a girl huh?);)
Oh and apparently my musical friends say that I'm strange for being able to sing or hum a song/tune, whilst another track is playing in the background. eg. I can sing 'American Pie' all the way thru whilst 'The Ace of Spades' is on full blast. Is this unusual? :confused:
 

ArthurASCII

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Feb 26, 2002
Messages
1,538
Reaction score
38
Points
79
Quixote said:
My other super-ability is 'Homing Pigeon Power'. I have never been lost, even in places I have never been before. I can read maps and give 12- digit grid references (strange for a girl huh?);)

It really IS strange for a girl Quixote.

I've always been surrounded by girls (two sisters, two daughters, the token male really ) and I'm sure they won't mind me saying that they are all "directionally challenged" to some extent.

I wonder if anyone's done any serious research into the subject?
 

TheQuixote

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Sep 25, 2003
Messages
3,293
Reaction score
38
Points
69
Arthur ASCII said:
It really IS strange for a girl Quixote.

:D cool!

When looking at maps I have good visualisation skills, I was even advised to become an Air Traffic Controller by a careers adviser on an outward bound course who was impressed with this-
but... I'm the type of misguided fool who regularly gets shortchanged in shops 'cos I can't do mathermaticks' I wouldn't like the responsibility either.
I'm the youngest of 5, the only girl too. Most of my family incl. brothers and Dad are/were in the military at some point, but I'm the only one my Dad will take on journeys if he has to go anywhere new because my bro's are hopeless at directions:p
All this being said I still have problems between Left and Right when directing..."..yeah Right here at this junction, ooh hold on..no I meant Left..indicate quick..no wait, I mean Right..."
IIRC that is meant to have been scientifically proven to be a female 'thing':)
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Howdy folks,

Long-time lurker, first time poster, yada yada yada. Anyways, here's my superpower:

Behold, puny mortals, for I am...The Human Fuzzbuster! (insert villainous musical sting here)

Seriously, I always know whenever there's a speedtrap, or just a cop car, within a few miles or so when I'm driving down the highway. It's like a 'spider sense' which tells me to slow down. As a result, despite my fairly atrocious highway speeding habits, I have NEVER recieved a speeding ticket.

Sadly, this ability only works when I'm driving a car, so robbing a bank is pretty much out of the question. But I suppose I'd make one hell of a good getaway driver :D
 

Imperial_Call

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Sep 22, 2002
Messages
1,192
Reaction score
11
Points
69
As demonstrated on another thread [or three] I can piss off small people by virtue of being taller than them! *ucking A man! I'm doning my tights and cape as we speak, and taking applications for a sidekick and some nemises, or is it nemisises?
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Cujo said:
I have the power to fake sobriety no matter how drunk I am.

Cujo

I have the opposite superpower, people think I'm drunk when I'm actually stone cold sober (I think it's my bubbly personality :rolleyes: and my inability to walk in a straight line)

My other superpower is the ability to wriggle the veins in my hand in such a way that mere mortals say ' yuck!!! stop that, it's disgusting'
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Lillith said:
My other superpower is the ability to wriggle the veins in my hand in such a way that mere mortals say ' yuck!!! stop that, it's disgusting'

:cross eye

My super power seems to be the ability to make everyone I meet think I'm 'lovely' but for none of them to want to sleep with me.

Meby if I make them all think I'm a bitch it'll make the difrence.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
LobeliaOverhill said:
*ucking A man! I'm doning my tights and cape as we speak, and taking applications for a sidekick and some nemises, or is it nemisises?

Useless fact woman reporting for side-kick duty.

Not only am I verry tall (6 feet) but I can always find a useless fact to tell everyone that is unrelated to the prevaling conversation. It's a rare gift and a special one...
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
I have parking karma. I can always find a parking spot within a space or two of the ideal perfect spot. This includes spots close to the entry at the shops, particularly when it's raining, and the shady spots when it's sunny out. The only requirement seems to be that I give it a moment or two of thought before I head out onto the road. If I forget to think about it ahead of time it doesn't work.



Yes I know this it's just coincidence but it's fun to pretend that I somehow am doing this...
 

McAvennie

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Mar 13, 2003
Messages
4,029
Reaction score
1,922
Points
184
I bore my foes to death with interesting football facts and statistics.
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Heh, we played this at work and I got called Storm because I opened a window when it got too hot.
That is about the full extent of my climate altering abilities I'm afraid - apart from knowing bad weather is coming when I develop a headache a day before a thunderstorm.
 

GodzillaGirl

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
May 20, 2002
Messages
134
Reaction score
0
Points
47
The Virgin Queen said:
:cross eye

My super power seems to be the ability to make everyone I meet think I'm 'lovely' but for none of them to want to sleep with me.

Meby if I make them all think I'm a bitch it'll make the difrence.

Don't do that! I have had a similar curse, but eventually you find someone who realizes just what an amazing catch you are! (I spent almost 2 years without dating - even though I kept hearing about how "cute" I am. Argh!)

As for my super ability, I can take something fairly trivial and replay it in my mind endlessly until it makes me ill. I would make a good "voice of reason" side kick.
 

Imperial_Call

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Sep 22, 2002
Messages
1,192
Reaction score
11
Points
69
The Virgin Queen said:
Useless fact woman reporting for side-kick duty.

Not only am I verry tall (6 feet) but I can always find a useless fact to tell everyone that is unrelated to the prevaling conversation. It's a rare gift and a special one...

Hurrah! Point of order gel, you're not verry tall, you're tall - my friend Jaana is 6'8", she's verrrrrrry tall! anyhoo, what colour tights and cape do you want to go with? Should we match or clash terribly? And we need a catchphrase ...
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
LobeliaOverhill said:
Hurrah! Point of order gel, you're not verry tall, you're tall - my friend Jaana is 6'8", she's verrrrrrry tall! anyhoo, what colour tights and cape do you want to go with? Should we match or clash terribly? And we need a catchphrase ...

6' 8"! That's tall!

I'd go for black fishnets and a black velvet cape with red satin lining. Not verry superhero but nice noone the less.

Catchphrase: Were tall and were here. Get over it!
 
Top