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White Dog Poo?

Emperor said:
It appears hyenas also make white shite (obviously they have a much higher bone content in their diet than dogs) and they have a highly acidic stomach which actually dissolves bones (they regurgitate the large bits with holes burnt through them) and this might tend to bleach things internally?

Emps
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Hyenas can produce both white and brown poo, and more significantly can select which at will. A hyena will leave certain messages concerning the boundaries of its territory and its current sexual status by means of poo-ing. The two colours (and presumably the different smells which go along with them) are something to do with the message the hyena is leaving. They can also increase the accuracy of these 'messages' by distending their anus for better aim.

I know this all to be true. David Attenborough told me on telly. Also, hyenas arn't canine, so their poo-ing habits and abilities may not have much bearing on those of dogs. After all, birds have white poo, but no-one's suggesting they're connected to dogs in any way...
 
The reason birds' poo is white is that it contains biliverdin, secreted by the liver, instead of bilirubin which mammals secrete. Bilverdin is green and bilirubin is, well, sh*t-coloured.

(Yes, like in 'Silence Of The Lambs', where an imaginary character is called 'Billy Rubin'!)

Hyenas can produce both white and brown poo, and more significantly can select which at will.
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-Buttock, are you taking notes?

Put that DOWN, Boy!
 
101:

Hyenas can produce both white and brown poo, and more significantly can select which at will.
Click to expand...

Now that is interesting - I'd like to know more about that - pity I missed that episode of the Life of Mammals.

Also, hyenas arn't canine, so their poo-ing habits and abilities may not have much bearing on those of dogs.
Click to expand...

Granted but a similarish anatomy and lifestyle probably means that the way they go about things are similar to dogs - their being able to switch might give us an idea bout what is going on there.

Time to look into hyena poo......

Emps
 
OK some things I've found:

Territories are patrolled by groups of residents and are demarcated by anal gland scent marks and middens containing large accumulations of white faeces.
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and most relevant:

Dung is 4-8cm long with tapered ends, dark when very fresh and white when old.
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with pictures too :D

see:
http://www.ultimatefieldguide.com/spotted_hyena.htm

Hyenas have the ability to eat and digest even bones, due to their immensely powerful jaws and highly acidic stomach acids. Due to the fact that they eat so much bone matter, their feces are often white.
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http://www.lioncrusher.com/animal.asp?animal=75

In addition to scent marking at territorial boundaries, spotted hyenas often defecate along borders which results in dry white feces lining territory boundaries (see picture). The feces of spotted hyenas is white due to the amount of bone and calcium in their diet (Boydston, 2001).
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from (with another, poor quality, picture):
http://www.bio.davidson.edu/people/vecase/Behavior/Spring2003/vanleeuwen/social spacing.html

which provides a reference:

Boydston, E. E., Morelli, T.L., & Holekamp, K.E.,. 2001. Sex differences in territorial behavior exhibited by the spotted hyena (Hyaenidae, Crocuta crotuca). Ethology, 107 (5). 369 - 385.

which is here:

http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/links/doi/10.1046/j.1439-0310.2001.00672.x/abs/

anyone with access could dig out the bit Google has indexed (and the further reference):

Hyena feces often turn white after drying, making latrines
conspicuous for many weeks after deposition (Kruuk 1972).
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She doesn't seem to make a version available online:
http://www.google.com/url?sa=U&start=2&q=http://www.werc.usgs.gov/gg/erin.html&e=1102&mr=F/,002A,_05!a_U:hl5

More on Buckland and his deduction that there might be fossilised dung after comparing it with modern hyena droppings:

http://darwin.apnet.com/dinosaur/chin.htm

Interesting:

The Leopard Tortoise or also known as the mountain tortoise is South Africa’s largest land tortoise. ....... These tortoises’ diet mainly consists of grasses, flowers and succulents, and they have been known to chew on bones and hyena faeces for calcium, which is essential for shell growth.
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from (rather difficult to reach):
http://solunix.de/~incenti/english/right main/topbar_links/wildlife/reptiles/reptiles.htm

Enough of this shit (for now).

Emps
 
Hmmmm some more resources:

An interesting, if controversial theory, but a very neat graph showing the rapid extinction of the ivory dog egg:

http://www.jonahjones.co.uk/theories/whitepoo.htm

Clear signs we need Captain Buttock:

http://www2.abc.net.au/science/k2/stn/october1999/posts/topic2815.shtm

and more from the same forum:

http://www2.abc.net.au/science/k2/stn/october1999/posts/topic1211.shtm

Coooooo there is the Democratic OrGanisation for Scientific and Household Investigation of Turds (DOGSHIT) and the site is jam packed full of information:

http://www.dogturd.org.uk

Not much that advances matters. Time for Captain Buttock?

[edit: Nostaligia galore:

Gone but not forgotten
Top 10
10) White dog poo
09) Free schoolmilk
08) Your virginity
07) The Do Do
06) Powdered Eggs
05) Men with perms
04) Lesbian guilt
03) Z Cars
02) John Noakes & Shep
01) Noel Edmonds
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http://www.fatdancer.net

is there anyway we can blame Thatcher?]

Emps
 
Nah, you're not a psychopath. I mean your posts about dog poo haven't reached double figures yet ;)

I have seen white dog eggs in the woods. They were mildewed like when you leave a leather belt somewhere damp. A completely different type of white though from the dry crumbly poos in my backyard.

:cross eye
 
Update

Captain's log, August 30th.

Have been dining on Winalot for three days now. No movement until this morning, whereupon I clambered into next-door's garden for blessed relief. It was early, so no-one saw my quivering knee-bend on the lawn. Got a picture before succumbing to the temptation of rolling in it.

Colour: Brown
Mass: High
Texture: Smooth
Smell: Foul

Comments: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. :)

They can also increase the accuracy of these 'messages' by distending their anus for better aim.
Click to expand...
I'll be practicing that one. Attempted to write "Happy Birthday escargot" but seemingly only managed morse code instead.
 
The Whitening

Captain Buttock: Thanks for the progress report - keep an eye out for The Whitening as that is critical.

---------------
A quick update report after some gardening today:

1. I found some dog dung from the smaller dog that had disappeared between the gaps in the decking and this was chalky and white.

2. While digging up a large plant (my gardening technique more resembles Nam than Ground Force) I found that the larger dog had laid a number of eggs under the cover of the foliage. The varied in colour from off white through light grey, a very light pink to a very light beige. they weren't crumbly in texture but I put that down to the soil and the foliage preventing a full drying out. When diseccted they were the same colour all the way through but none of them were very fresh.

The dogs are fed purely on Butcher's Tripe (the canned dog food not the cow's stomach lining) and have Winalot shapes biscuits. All observed fresh mess are daark brown in colour so my only conlcuion is that, at least in this case, The Whitening must be occuring. Obviously without following the process through from laying to white shite it is not possible to prove this but hopeful a bit of experimenting might help. I'll have to wait for my diigtal camera to get fixed before embarking on the investigation but I am more confident than ever that there is some kind of process at work (presumably caused by the decay/denaturing of the bilirubin).

More soon I hope ;)

Emps
 
Captain's log, 8:51am, August 31st.

Unfortunately I made an unplanned diversion from my strict diet, as my brother, Major Buttocks, brought round a tray of Guinness Original last night.
Mrs. Jessop at No. 34 got more than just two pints of silver top on her doorstep this morning. Her big dog suddenly barking through the letterbox assisted passage, but disturbed my careful coil mid-squeeze.

Colour: Black
Mass: Heavy
Texture: Slippy
Smell: Curiously addictive

Comments: :wince:
 
White dog poo

White dog poo
Has anybody seen any?:confused:
Who stands wheeltrims up at the side of the road?
 
I uncovered another sneaky stash of white dogs eggs (it appears my larger dog has been hiding them around the garden) - unless there is an ivory egg easter bunny there is clear something to The Whitening. Without testing I would guess that it is a mix of various indigestible things. I also feed the smaller dog Bonio which contains a lot of bone marrow - what is the calcium content of that I wonder? Do dog food manfuacturers include ground up bone in their food? It seems like a good diea from the nutrional front. I also note that Bonio contains 11.5% ash which I would imagine will contribute to lightly coloured residues.

------------

CB: Ahhhhhhhh the Muck of the Oirish - I remember it well. You realise deviations from the diet put you back to square one?

Emps
 
Captain's log, 6th September 15:42pm

Just been released from Benton Green police station with a caution for defecating in a public place. Unfortunately, my report has to be cut short as the fruits of my labour have been kept as evidence. It was brown, I know that much.
I restarted the diet four days ago (Bonio biscuits) and was happily relieving myself on Mrs. Jessop's front lawn when I was rumbled by a passing panda car. I would have shat my pants if I'd been wearing any. I was bundled into the back of the car though they were very gentlemanly and waited until I'd finished. I nearly got away with it as I pretended to be a garden gnome, but I think the copy of the Daily Sport I was reading gave it away.
PC Pete Waters, nice bloke, gave me a picture of exhibit A to take home with me when I explained my research. His advice "Next time use a bleddy bog."
 
Captain Buttock said:
Success!

*Leaves with an odd bow-legged walk*
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How do we know that's not a photo of white poo taken in the eighties and saved for just such an occasion? You should have shat on a calendar or today's newspaper or something! :hmph:

And what's that i see in the bottom-right hand corner - more poo or a phantom culprit's paw?
 
Food for thought

Perusal of this fascinating thread, and a traumatic personal experience, has prompted me to pose a couple of questions.

I'd better explain the personal experience first:

Some years ago, when my daughters were both "pre-teens", they were playing outside our flat.

My eldest daughter Hayley ran in with tears rolling down her cheeks, barely able to contain her laughter.
"What's the matter love" I asked.
"Verity was trying to mark out a hopscotch grid with a piece of chalk she'd found, when it broke in half".
"That's not funny" I replied.
"It was brown in the middle dad" she spluttered, as my youngest rushed to the bathroom to wash her hands.

This event poses the questions:

  1. Why was the colour difference longitudinal instead of lateral as might be expected?
  2. Why, after one has "hung a brown bear in the porcelain cave", "choked a darkie in the throttling pit" or quite simply been for a poo (see Roger's Profanisaurus for more, delightful terms), is the result not delicately banded to mirror the contents of one's diet over the period of time between poos?

    [/list=1]
 
Re: Food for thought

Arthur ASCII said:
Why, after one has...been for a poo is the result not delicately banded to mirror the contents of one's diet over the period of time between poos?
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This inviting possibility would allow us to 'count the rings' and see how long any particular specimen had been brewing. Every trip to the bathroom could be like an amateur geology trip as we analyse the layers...:(
 
The Yithian wrote:

This inviting possibility would allow us to 'count the rings' and see how long any particular specimen had been brewing. Every trip to the bathroom could be like an amateur geology trip as we analyse the layers.
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Adroitly put Yithian.

Logically it should be so. Why then does this not happen? Perhaps specific gravity plays a part.

(Roger's Profanisaurus is a hoot though isn't it? What a rich languge we have. I would imagine that a German version would be about a half a dozen pages long!)
 
Arthur ASCII said:
(Roger's Profanisaurus is a hoot though isn't it? What a rich languge we have. I would imagine that a German version would be about a half a dozen pages long!)
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Pretty damned funny. May i refer liberal minded Forteans to the entry for 'Clown’s pocket', a seemingly innocent term of which i was hitherto ignorant and which i shall now endeavour to employ as frequently as chance allows (which hopefully is never). :cool:
 
Arthur ASCII:

Why was the colour difference longitudinal instead of lateral as might be expected?
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Thanks for the observation - the fact that the poss is white on the outisde and brown on the inside would support my idea about the Whitening. I have only been able to disect older ivory dog eggs and they are white all the way through.

[edit: And I suppose I should add a warning as clicking on the link below will get you straight to pictures of people's crap in a 'Am I hot or Not' voting kind of thing]

I don't want to get into RateMyPoo.com territory but I have had poos with lateral colour changes - it is usually clear that this is due to the compaction of two jobbies of differing colours - like a dark brown and a biege (or sometimes even an odd drab olive green)..

Roger's profanisaurus is great (I have the 3 editions - pamphlet in the magazine, the book from the magazine and then the standalone tome) and it has lead to many hours of laughing like a drain at definitions. Can I also recommend the more serious 'Dictionary of Slang' (I'll drop a link in later) as this is an equally eye opening opus which really shines a torch into some odd corners of human behaviour - there are terms for sexual acts I didn't even know existed let alone were so popular that they had their own names (things like huffle/bagpiping - a great one as people look mystified until you mime it - a bit like abseiling which I spotted in an update to the profanisaurus in a friend's Viz).

The Yithian recommended counting the rings but the 'process' doesn't lend itself to some kind of dung dendrochronology - he should check out 'breather rings' for the way we can use ring counting in these circumstances ;)

Emps
 
Even in a state of starvation, humans and other animals still defaecate though not profusely or frequently. Faeces are composed partly of waste matter other than digested food, such as discarded cell matter, which is passed through the digestive tract.

I could go on, but have a little job outside to clean up.........
 
Arthur ASCII said:
(Roger's Profanisaurus is a hoot though isn't it? What a rich languge we have. I would imagine that a German version would be about a half a dozen pages long!)
Click to expand...

Remaining resolutely OT i saw a link to this site: http://odps.cyberscriber.com/ and immediately thought of this conversation. Similar content, it being a dictionary of playground slang. Perhaps i went to a wussy school because i don't remember playing AIDS ball at lunchtime...

I'm rubber and you're glue,
Whatever you say,
Bounces off me
And sticks to you!"
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Chinese Burns ahoy!
 
Ooooooooooooo thanks to this thread:

http://www.forteantimes.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=11225

it appears that Elvis has a colon packed with white poo:

[T]he megacolon was jam-packed from the base of the descending colon all the way up and halfway across the transverse colon. It was filled with white, chalklike fecal material.
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from:

http://www.snopes.com/toxins/fecal.htm

That said it is unclear what that quote came from and Snopes (and places that quote them) are the only place this seems to crop up online). My best guess is that it comes from:

Thompson, Charles C. and James P. Cole. The Death of Elvis: What Really Happened. Boston: Little, Brown and Company, 1999. ISBN 0-316-33222-4 (pp. 557-558, 651-652).

Anyone got access to that?

Emps
 
It's a testament to the quality of the debate that I've read this.

I don't have a dog and know nothing about poo.

But you ARE all mad, you know.
;)
 
I don't have a dog and know nothing about poo.
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I'm quite happy to believe you about the dog but not about the poo (and I'll apologise in advance if I have made fun of some interesting medical problem you have).

But you ARE all mad, you know.
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But think about this - we only added to this thread as it grew while you have read through it from start to finish. Now who is mad?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I might get back to you with a better arguement in a bit - bear with me ;)

Emps
 
I've read that Elvis's heart gave out under the strain of attempting to empty his bowel of the, er, substance described above.

Dogs' guts must be better adapted to his type of diet.

My Rocky would love a plate of fried squirrel. ;)
 
Yeah, but Elvis didn't die while taking a shit, he died sitting on a chair in his bathroom reading a book - not on the toilet. He had a bathroom the size of most people's living rooms.
 
I've read that Elvis had chronic constipation and used to hang around in the bog waiting for, er, inspiration. Didn't necessarily have to be sitting on the throne to be suffering the effects.

Lenny Bruce however certainly did die on the lavatory in the act of shooting up while defaecating............:cross eye

OK, back to dogshit, everyone! ;)
 
Back to dogshit in a moment, viewers, but I also heard that Lenny Bruce was found dead by the police, who then arranged his body to look as if he was injecting himself. Don't know if that's true.

But I take the point about Elvis!
 
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