- Joined
- Nov 27, 2006
- Messages
- 49
Not sure why I'm posting this, I'm shell shocked from the experience.
My Nan died yesterday after battling a brain tumour and breast cancer. My mum was on holiday so could not be with her so I got the call and went down to the care home. I sat with her as she was going. My brother arrived 15 minutes before she passed and we flanked her as she stopped breathing, sighed and departed.
I've never witnessed someone dying before, and I still can't find the words to describe the feeling between the moments when she was in the room with us and when she went. I'd never been able to pinpoint the possible duality of existence before, but since experiencing this I am in no doubt that it was her soul or spirit or whatever that departed. Her body just immediately seemed different - like it was no longer her.
I've been a bit jumpy since and feel like I'm in another world, most likely shock and grief. But also, my attention is wandering onto obscure examples of aesthetic beauty, like last night as I walked the dog I noticed the pearlescent reflection of the neon Indian restaurant sign opposite my house on the side of my car and found myself staring at it for a good few minutes, then noticed a number of white feathers on my windscreen.
Anyway - thanks for hearing me out.
My Nan died yesterday after battling a brain tumour and breast cancer. My mum was on holiday so could not be with her so I got the call and went down to the care home. I sat with her as she was going. My brother arrived 15 minutes before she passed and we flanked her as she stopped breathing, sighed and departed.
I've never witnessed someone dying before, and I still can't find the words to describe the feeling between the moments when she was in the room with us and when she went. I'd never been able to pinpoint the possible duality of existence before, but since experiencing this I am in no doubt that it was her soul or spirit or whatever that departed. Her body just immediately seemed different - like it was no longer her.
I've been a bit jumpy since and feel like I'm in another world, most likely shock and grief. But also, my attention is wandering onto obscure examples of aesthetic beauty, like last night as I walked the dog I noticed the pearlescent reflection of the neon Indian restaurant sign opposite my house on the side of my car and found myself staring at it for a good few minutes, then noticed a number of white feathers on my windscreen.
Anyway - thanks for hearing me out.