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Wooden Penis To The Rescue

Mighty_Emperor

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'Magic' wooden penis saves woman


An abbot's 'magic' wooden penis has been credited with restoring a woman to health in Thailand.

Ladda Satiya, 66, was lent the carved phallus by an abbot at the Thepprasart Temple in Pattaya after falling ill from eating poisonous mushrooms.

Satiya called the abbot, Pra Boonsong, when the mushrooms made her feel dizzy and out of breath.

He gave it to her brother and suggested she swallowed a mixture of rice and water ground up by the penis.

Satiya said it was like eating pepper and her symptoms disappeared soon afterwards.

Speaking to the Pattaya Mail, the abbot said he had cast a spell on the phallus.

He said the 'magic' wood is able to heal people poisoned by toxic substances and prevent the bearer being affected by black magic.

But he refused to reveal the source of the penis wood for fear of forest devastation.


Story filed: 13:44 Friday 17th October 2003

ananova.com/news/story/sm_829759.html?menu=news.quirkies
Link is dead. No archived version found.
 
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LOL - just spotted this:

But he refused to reveal the source of the penis wood

Now that is probably a very big list given mankind's wide-ranging and often deviant desires ;)

Emps
 
This 2003 Thai news webpage may be the original source for the story. In any case it provides more details and a photo of the patient (and the carved penis).
Magic phallic symbol credited with saving woman’s life

Special wooden tool used to concoct anti-toxic potion

Patcharapol Parnrak

Pra Boonsong Chatimo, deputy abbot of Thepprasart Temple or ‘Wat Taotan’, used a magic wooden penis to save 66-year-old Ladda Satiya’s life after she had eaten a number of toxic brown mushrooms.

WoodPenis.jpg

Ladda Satiya, holding the magic penis in one hand and the dastardly mushrooms in the other, stands healthy after drinking the magic potion that cured her.

Ladda called Pra Boonsong when she felt dizzy and breathless after eating the mushrooms.

Pra Boonsong gave a small wooden carving of a penis to her brother Boonyong Indi, 49, and told him to use it to grind rice and water and let her swallow the mixture. Miraculously, the woman began feeling better soon after consuming the magic white liquid.

“It felt quite warm inside my body like eating pepper but those terrible symptoms quickly disappeared,” exclaimed Ladda.

Pra Boonsong said, “The carved penis was made from wood in the northeastern forests of Thailand and I cast a spell on it to make it auspicious for its holder. This kind of wood is able to heal people poisoned by toxic substances and people also believe it can prevent its bearer from black magic. Ancient people had it for the protection of their family. But I can’t reveal which kind of the wood it is as I’m afraid of the possible forest destruction.”

Salvaged From The Wayback Machine:
https://web.archive.org/web/20031222043123/http://www.pattayamail.com/533/news.shtml#hd8
 
"This kind of wood is able to heal people poisoned by toxic substances"

And that the wood penis is used to grind up food which are fed to the patient.

So maybe less crazy that it would seem at first if some substance from the wood is being mixed into the rice and ingested. Especially if that type of mushroom is known to not grow on that type of tree.

/ obligatory substance from the wood joke.
 
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