Words & Phrases You Never Want To Hear Again

OneWingedBird

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 3, 2003
Messages
15,491
Likes
6,251
Points
284
#1
"Do you have a bonus card?" is possibly mine. :evil:

I know it's not the checkout staff's fault in Iceland 'cos they probably get in a heap of trouble if they don't ask, but when you go in there several times a week for a number of years and hear that every time... it rots your brain.
 

Analogue Boy

The new Number 6
Joined
Aug 10, 2005
Messages
9,113
Likes
6,462
Points
294
#2
'Would you like a bag?'
Usually uttered at the checkout when I have loads of items.

'Baby bump'
Infantlile phrase adopted by the Daily Mail.

'We're all in this together'.
Mantra spoken by the Tory party prior to taking a huge pay rise.

'Nothing to hide, nothing to fear'.
There is.
 

Novena

Offanonagin
Joined
Nov 23, 2002
Messages
1,020
Likes
417
Points
114
#7
"Please mind the gap between the platform and the train"

First of all, I don't need to be reminded. I've been on enough trains to know that there's a gap and to use common sense when getting on or off.

Secondly, why the pedantic specificity? I know that the gap is between the platform and the train. Where else would it be?!! Wouldn't simply "Mind the gap" be sufficient?
 

Urvogel

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Dec 23, 2012
Messages
164
Likes
36
Points
34
#8
'Guesstimate'

I hate that word so much. A guess and an estimate are not the same thing. It's just a stupid corporate buzzword that makes me irrationally angry.

Same with 'blue sky thinking'. I still have no idea what the hell that's supposed to mean...
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
24,150
Likes
17,501
Points
309
#9
I don't have a problem if it's people's jobs to push things, poor buggers!

I'm always polite to serving staff and I'm sure OneWingedBird is too. ;)

The phrase I hate most is 'Memory Lane'. It's the most crass, pathetic cliche in the world. :evil:
 

rynner2

Great Old One
Joined
Aug 7, 2001
Messages
55,449
Likes
8,895
Points
284
Location
Under the moon
#11
Zoffre said:
"Please mind the gap between the platform and the train"

First of all, I don't need to be reminded. I've been on enough trains to know that there's a gap and to use common sense when getting on or off.

Secondly, why the pedantic specificity? I know that the gap is between the platform and the train. Where else would it be?!! Wouldn't simply "Mind the gap" be sufficient?
Last time I rode the tube, decades ago, the message was just "Mind the gap" (repeated ad nauseam).

Clearly, since then, people have become more stupid, and need a message explaining exactly where the gap is! :twisted:
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
33,972
Likes
18,946
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
#12
rynner2 said:
Zoffre said:
"Please mind the gap between the platform and the train"

First of all, I don't need to be reminded. I've been on enough trains to know that there's a gap and to use common sense when getting on or off.

Secondly, why the pedantic specificity? I know that the gap is between the platform and the train. Where else would it be?!! Wouldn't simply "Mind the gap" be sufficient?
Last time I rode the tube, decades ago, the message was just "Mind the gap" (repeated ad nauseam).

Clearly, since then, people have become more stupid, and need a message explaining exactly where the gap is! :twisted:
The gap might be between the ears! :lol:
 

Quake42

Warrior Princess
Joined
Feb 25, 2004
Messages
9,311
Likes
3,751
Points
219
#13
Last time I rode the tube, decades ago, the message was just "Mind the gap" (repeated ad nauseam).

Clearly, since then, people have become more stupid, and need a message explaining exactly where the gap is!
It's still just "Mind the Gap" on the London Underground.
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
26,310
Likes
10,488
Points
284
#14
"At the end of the day" for me as well. I suppose you'd call it a meme, but it's a terrible cliché. Without it sportsmen would be at a loss for anything to say.

"Hard-working families" repeatedly used to make it sound as if the rest of us are lazy bastards. I'm sure there are lazy bastards in this country, but there's no need to be simplistic.

"Politically correct" used to describe anything the speaker disagrees with. According to this ninety percent of anything that happens these days has some connection to political correctness. Most of the time it's just good manners, anyway. I expect someone to describe the new Enfield anti-spitting law as PC gone mad any time now.
 
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
5,725
Likes
3,953
Points
244
#15
gncxx said:
..."Politically correct" used to describe anything the speaker disagrees with. According to this ninety percent of anything that happens these days has some connection to political correctness...
Absolutely. You beat me to it. Point 3 of my long winded attempt to define Political Correctness back here.

3. A symptom of the tendency to believe that those people who hold differing opinions to your own are not actually thinking for themselves but are weak-minded individuals who are being manipulated by the machinations of an international cabal of liberals whose boss probably lives in a hollowed out [island and spends most of his day stroking a white cat and laughing demonically.]

Most of the time it's just good manners, anyway. I expect someone to describe the new Enfield anti-spitting law as PC gone mad any time now.
Ah now, hold on though - that might be a Health and Safety gone mad rather than PC gone mad thing. I wonder if they sell twice as many newspapers if they manage to shoehorn both resentments into the same story?
 
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
5,725
Likes
3,953
Points
244
#16
'Gobsmacked'.

The ugliest word in the English language, bar none.

Often deployed in newspaper articles by fat-headed cretins who got ticketed for parking on a double yellow or in a disabled bay (I can't believe they'd be so petty - it made life easier for me at the negligible cost of causing considerable inconvenience for someone else); or got pulled up for things like setting fire to their dog (Unbelievable - there were no written instructions anywhere on the dog saying that said I could not do so); or find out that it's their liability - and not the bank's - when the 20 000 pounds they sent to a member of the 'Nigerian Royal Family', because said member of the 'Nigerian Royal Family' offered them a million pounds, two Porsches, and a villa in Marbella in return, has disappeared into the ether; or generally got stuffed for doing something that there was a great big sign saying they'd get stuffed for doing.

In a worrying number of instances its use seems to be a kind of verbal semaphore which translates as, 'I'm a big fucking idiot but I'm hoping that if I make enough noise about the very thing that indicates what a big fucking idiot I am then perhaps no-one will notice'.

And even if the disbelief of the user is justified - its still ugliest word in the English language, bar none.
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
24,150
Likes
17,501
Points
309
#19
I love 'gutted'. Nobody uses it seriously - you hear a deadpan 'They'd run out of pork pies when I got there. Gutted.' which I find very funny.
 

Yithian

Parish Watch
Staff member
Joined
Oct 29, 2002
Messages
24,296
Likes
22,301
Points
309
Location
East of Suez
#21
To slap down; to deliver a slapdown.
The seemingly universal verb for politicians who express even the mildest rebuke or disagreement with an even the most technically junior colleague.

It's lazy shorthand and carries the completely wrong tone in most situations in which it is employed.
 

Yithian

Parish Watch
Staff member
Joined
Oct 29, 2002
Messages
24,296
Likes
22,301
Points
309
Location
East of Suez
#22
Mythopoeika said:
'My bad'.

I really hate that. It's ungrammatical and suggests that the person saying it is actually unapologetic. Grrrr.

Edit: Oh yes, and 'soz' - falls into the same annoying category.
Fine if employed by Yanks below the age of 30; hideous if otherwise.
 

Bigphoot2

Carbon Based Infestation
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
Messages
5,676
Likes
12,811
Points
294
Location
Armenia City in the Sky
#24
The sentence guaranteed to wind me up: "I've taken it upon myself..." Which translates as "I've decided to interfere in a matter that has nothing to do with me and one in which I have no knowledge but that won't stop me causing a lot of unnecessary hassle, delay and general aggravation for people who are just trying to get on with their work."

Another tabloid phrase that annoys me is "side boob".
 

Heckler

The unspeakable mass
Joined
Jul 16, 2004
Messages
5,299
Likes
2,139
Points
219
#25
bigphoot1 said:
Another tabloid phrase that annoys me is "side boob".
As a gentleman of a certain age and indeed girth, I have side boobs, whether they are the same as tabloid side boobs I am unsure.
 

OneWingedBird

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 3, 2003
Messages
15,491
Likes
6,251
Points
284
#29
Just fuckin' say it! Rolling Eyes
I tend to think that when anyone starts anything with "I'm not something but..." that is precisely what they are doing. :(

And yes 'scarg, I am always polite (and on very friendly terms) with the staff at my local Iceland. It's the fact it's not their fault that makes it worse for me, because whoever thought that up is nicely insulated from having to deal with what's wrong about it!
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
24,150
Likes
17,501
Points
309
#30
Yup, it's all about politeness. If I'm on the phone to a call centre and feeling wound up (as one does) I always say 'I'm sorry if I'm coming across as angry with you. It's not your fault and I'm not upset with you, I'm just really frustrated and fed up about my dishwasher exploding and burning the house down (or whatever).'
 
Top