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Worst Movie EVER?

River_Styx said:
Lets say Bladerunner as the most arty, pretentious nonsense in this world.
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Why...........I thought I was the only Millhouse. So this is what it sounds like when doves cry.

<sobs uncontrollably>
 
Mothfox said:
Well, if wer'e pulling out the heavy guns, how about 'Hell Comes To Frogtown' starring Rowdy Roddie Piper?--Or ANYTHING with Mr. Piper (God bless 'im!):)
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Granted that "Rowdy" Roddy Piper is blessed with an acting talent that would make Konstantin Stanislavski weep and is that the sound of Bertholt Brecht doing 90 rpm in his grave?

But don't dismiss every film he has been in. That would turf John Carpenter's "They Live" out on the street and in that film Mr. Piper's lack of capability to display any emotion as John Nada segues in nicely to the films themes of nihilsm and superficiality in the materialist 80's age of Yuppiedom. It also allows us the benefit of watching an absolutely astounding 15 minute long pointless fight scene that has enough testosterone coursing through it to grow a beard on a baby girl.
 
Mothfox said:
Beakboo, didn't that have DeForest Kelly in it?
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Yes I think it did. Have you seen it then? Good isn't it?:hmph:
 
Leningrad cowboys go America by Aki Kurismaki is probably the most tedious waste of 2 hours I've ever spent. I didn't leave the theatre as a matter of principle, but it was akin to the scene in Clockwork Orange where Alex has his eyes forced open and made to watch horrific scens. I squirmed, tried not to look, attempted to read a magazine, but was drawn inexorably back to the screen, to watch yet another shot of three ludicrously dressed rockabilly's pulling into a pterol station. Makes Suicide look like an attractive proposition.

Ratfink A Booboo is probably the best worst film Ive seen, completely incompreshensible, no plot, but features grown men in tights shouting 'let's fight crime' and a man in a gorilla suit carrying a woman up a hill for no apparent reason.

A must see :)
 
beakboo said:
Most disappointing films- Three weddings and a Funeral, that American woman was just a horse faced trollop :hmph:
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Andie McDowell. I thought Three Weddings had some brilliant bits in it, though, especially the first few minutes when all H Grant says is 'F*ck!' - sorry, 'Fack!"

But I agree with you, Beak, A McDowell, who is supposed to be so attractive, is horrid, and her character comes over as selfish and acquisitive . . .

Carole
 
Two of the worst films I've ever seen:

'Who's That Girl' with Madonna. I only watched it ;'cause the pet cougar was cute.

'Tarzan' with Bo Derek and (?) Christopher Lambert. They obviously only chose her so that she could flash her tits at every opportunity. Particularly memorable to me because they had orang-utangs in the 'African' jungle. I can also remember reading that one of the lions which appeared with Bo Derek in one scene attacked her. Obviously it was a member of Equity . . .

Carole
 
Erm, I thought it was Four weddings?

Or did i just see the uncut version. An extra 5 minutes of Hugh Grant saying fuck at the start?
 
Adrian Veidt said:
Erm, I thought it was Four weddings?

Or did i just see the uncut version. An extra 5 minutes of Hugh Grant saying fuck at the start?
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:blah:

I never was any good with numbers!

Carole
 
Adrian Veidt said:
And Ratfink a Beakboo is an absolute classic! :D
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So Hubcap slipped you a copy of our home video while I wasn't looking? The spots on his bum have cleared up now by the way.
 
beakboo said:
So Hubcap slipped you a copy of our home video while I wasn't looking? The spots on his bum have cleared up now by the way.
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That was his BUM?!?!? Thank the lord for that. I considered calling a doctor. Or the Guinness book of records.
 
Carnacki said:
Granted that "Rowdy" Roddy Piper is blessed with an acting talent that would make Konstantin Stanislavski weep and is that the sound of Bertholt Brecht doing 90 rpm in his grave?

But don't dismiss every film he has been in. That would turf John Carpenter's "They Live" out on the street and in that film Mr. Piper's lack of capability to display any emotion as John Nada segues in nicely to the films themes of nihilsm and superficiality in the materialist 80's age of Yuppiedom. It also allows us the benefit of watching an absolutely astounding 15 minute long pointless fight scene that has enough testosterone coursing through it to grow a beard on a baby girl.
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You know, Carnacki, now that you mention it,I did enjoy "They Live". Did you ever catch Roddie's short-lived t.v. show? (He played a dedicated good cop, battling a corrupt system. Heh.)
 
dot23 said:
Ratfink A Booboo is probably the best worst film Ive seen, completely incompreshensible, no plot, but features grown men in tights shouting 'let's fight crime' and a man in a gorilla suit carrying a woman up a hill for no apparent reason.

A must see :)
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It was supposed to be called Rat Pfink AND Boo Boo, but the titlemaker screwed up and the filmmakers wouldn't pay to have it fixed. Best line: "Remember, Boo Boo, we have only one weakness. Bullets."
 
beakboo said:
So Hubcap slipped you a copy of our home video while I wasn't looking? The spots on his bum have cleared up now by the way.
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Should you be telling us these things, Beak??

How many spots? When? Were they big ones? Could he sit down????

Carole
 
beakboo said:
Yes I think it did. Have you seen it then? Good isn't it?:hmph:
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I think if they combined this movie with "Of Mice and Men", they'd really have something. *Giggles insanely*
 
carole said:
'Tarzan' with Bo Derek and (?) Christopher Lambert. They obviously only chose her so that she could flash her tits at every opportunity. Particularly memorable to me because they had orang-utangs in the 'African' jungle. I can also remember reading that one of the lions which appeared with Bo Derek in one scene attacked her. Obviously it was a member of Equity . . .

Carole
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Errr...I think thats an amalgamation of two separate films there. Bo Derek was in the same "Tarzan" film as Richard Harris and Miles O'Keeffe (the same one that Graham Norton is obsessed with) which is "Tarzan, the Ape Man".

Christophe Lambert was in "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes" with Ian Holm and horse-face, I mean Andie McDowell.

The first film was a dire parody and a poor excuse to show naked flesh.

The second was quite good actually...
 
So many to choose from...

Three that spring to mind:

Sextette - Mae West's last film, more frightening than any horror movie, with some of the worst musical numbers of all time.

Stigmata - pretentious, head-up-its-arse garbage.

Repossessed - would have walked out of this if I wasn't with friends. The very lowest of the Airplane inspired parodies.

But I love The Exorcist and Kubrick! Well, OK, EWS was pretty poor.... I blame Tom Cruise (Top Gun was rotten as well).
 
I try to avoid bad movies but...

Movies everyone hates so I shouldn't bother listing them:
The Mummy, Scary Movie, new Planet of the Apes, any other crap summer movie I accidentally saw. I really try to avoid them.

Movies people seem to like but I hated:
The Crow- Some guy walks around and kills people. With goth facepaint. Hmm.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas- two guys walk around and get high. Hmm.

AND THE WINNER IS:
Timecode. Defiently worst movie I have ever seen. Bunch of people ad-libbing crap, with nothing happening THE ENTIRE MOVIE and then a crappy finale. The four screen concept is cool, but they wasted it.

I really liked AI, less at the end.
Also like all of Kubrick's films. That I've seen.
 
after last nights telly..Southpark The Movie.... The show is a one joke wonder which somtimes expands beond its narrow inteligence but the film is just small...a missed opertunity and a cynical money makeing end of shelf life cash in...
 
Natural Born Killers (as if a 7 stone girlie could kick the arse of a 18 stone man)

Body of Evidence (laughed so much I almost got kicked out, the sound effect when Madge gets her dress made of velcro ripped off is just brilliant)

Jerry Maguire (Bleurgh! Cheesey shite, I know the movies are meant to be escapism but please!)

Patty Hurst (I think it was called that, pretentious utter rubbish)

Species (hahahaha!)

Haunted (badly acted and just cringable)

Thomas and the Magic Railway (Took my son to see this piece of cinematic prostitution and it stunk like a smelly dead thing. Peter Fonda you've come a long way from Easy Rider. Bank balance obviously a bit low and Kim Basinger you're very lucky Alex Baldwin dumped you if this is the kinda pish he's now acting in)
 
Chop! Splod! AArgh!

Peter Jackson's Braindead was on again the other night. It was on too late for me, and it's too much of a splatter fest for me to tape. However, Jackson's early stuff is definitely some of the best bad stuff I've ever seen

Up/down there with Troma's best and on lower budgets!

What that chap got up to before Lord of the Rings! :no-no:
 
Carnacki said:
Errr...I think thats an amalgamation of two separate films there. Bo Derek was in the same "Tarzan" film as Richard Harris and Miles O'Keeffe (the same one that Graham Norton is obsessed with) which is "Tarzan, the Ape Man".

Christophe Lambert was in "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes" with Ian Holm and horse-face, I mean Andie McDowell.

The first film was a dire parody and a poor excuse to show naked flesh.

The second was quite good actually...
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You're right, Carnacki!

I must have been in a severely masochistic mood when I watched the Bo Derek version . . .

Carole
 
I'd like to add Swordfish and 3000 Miles To Graceland to the list of shite movies. Teeth-gnashingly bad movies.

Dude Where's My Car deserves a mention too. As does Joe Dirt. And pretty much anything with Adam Sandler in it, bar The Wedding Singer, which was mildly amusing the first time around but quickly lost its charm.
 
road trip - not wuite sure how i managed to sit thru that



PS scribbles i like yer avatra
 
Oh look, I'm a great old one now. Can I change that or is that only mods that can do that?
 
Hi, Scribbles.
You can change your own description.
Go into "Control Panel" then "Edit Profile".;)
 
[1] you're welcome &c
[2]Go control panel>edit profile>go to the title thing and write it, and i just did it but im still a bit pissed so i can't memberment if you click the box or not, try both
 
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