• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

Worst Movie EVER?

HenryFort said:
the travesty of watching a movie on a laptop
Click to expand...

Generally I would agree wholeheartedly.


But I don't think, in this case, it made a huge amount of difference. You really can't polish a turd my friend.
 
justin long ? actually a very likeable and watchable actor, sadly saddled with alvin and the chipmunks sequels ...
 
HenryFort said:
justin long ? actually a very likeable and watchable actor, sadly saddled with alvin and the chipmunks sequels ...
Click to expand...
.. and the director of Jeepers Creepers that Long also starred in was a registered paedophile who'd been released from prison not that long before making that film ..
 
Coastaljames said:
Not a bad fillum (as my Dad would say) that one.

I didn't have very high hopes. Think I caught it on a plane. Enjoyed it.
Click to expand...
I'll admit I enjoyed it at the time but the fact that the director is/was an ex child sex offender who served time in prison has put me off watching it again ..
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Swifty said:
I'll admit I enjoyed it at the time but the fact that the director is/was an ex child sex offender who served time in prison has put me off watching it again ..
Click to expand...

I didn't know that. Not good.
 
Jeepers Creepers was a fairly good film. I don't normally watch slasher movies, but the Fortean aspects of that one kept me interested.
But yeah, I'm not that interested in seeing the follow-ups.
 
Swifty said:
I'll admit I enjoyed it at the time but the fact that the director is/was an ex child sex offender who served time in prison has put me off watching it again ..
Click to expand...

Don't watch Salva's Clownhouse then, which stars the little boy he had sex with.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm not trawling through this entire thread but if the answer isn't '3 men and a little lady' then the whole world's gone to pot. I have my reasons...
 
mr_nic said:
I'm not trawling through this entire thread but if the answer isn't '3 men and a little lady' then the whole world's gone to pot. I have my reasons...
Click to expand...
You had a trisexual relationship with two other guys and then social services took your daughter away ? ..

edit: that wasn't a genuine question by the way, just a joke .. and yep, the film's shite.
 
Last edited:
Bigphoot2 said:
I usually find that a certain actor's name, a certain director's name, any martial art and any dance trend in a movie title gives an idea how bad it will be.

For me the ultimate bad movie would begin:
Steven Seagal
in
A Michael Winner Film
Disco Ninja​
Click to expand...
I'd watch that.
 
mr_nic said:
I'm not trawling through this entire thread but if the answer isn't '3 men and a little lady' then the whole world's gone to pot. I have my reasons...
Click to expand...

That was the last film my grandparents saw in a cinema. They loved it.
 
Steven Seagal's most recent output over the past decade or so details his quest to achieve martial arts supremacy from a sitting position. You've never seen a star who didn't give a shit less than this man. He makes Bruce Willis look like Daniel Day Lewis.
 
GNC said:
Steven Seagal's most recent output over the past decade or so details his quest to achieve martial arts supremacy from a sitting position. You've never seen a star who didn't give a shit less than this man. He makes Bruce Willis look like Daniel Day Lewis.
Click to expand...
Spot on! :rofl:
 
GNC said:
Steven Seagal's most recent output over the past decade or so details his quest to achieve martial arts supremacy from a sitting position. You've never seen a star who didn't give a shit less than this man. He makes Bruce Willis look like Daniel Day Lewis.
Click to expand...

The last time I saw one of his movies, he seems to have developed a unique fighting style which consists of simply waving his hands in front of his face - an act which causes his attackers to fly through the air into various items of furniture.

The Force is strong in this one :D
 
Seagal has real martial arts skills - but he has become old, fat and lazy. The 'fat and lazy' bit is the bit he could change, but won't. He likes to project an image like he is Buddha, but the reality is somewhat different.
I don't watch his films so much these days, because they're all monotonously similar and the fight scenes are just laughable.
Much more exciting to watch Donnie Yen, Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat or even Jason Statham.
 
Who is actually watching all these straight to DVD films Seagal churns out? Someone must be. But no-one's admitting it.
 
Last one I saw was years ago. He played a former CIA/Navy Seal/Black Op/Special Forces operative who came out of retirement to fight a gang of criminals...so it could have been any of his movies.
 
graylien said:
Who is actually watching all these straight to DVD films Seagal churns out? Someone must be. But no-one's admitting it.
Click to expand...

I've often thought the same - I sometimes inadvertently catch a few minutes of one on some movie channel, and they're all so po-faced. And, of course, irredeemably crap. What's more, there must be a Steven Seagal movie-name-generator somewhere, churning out those formulaic titles. It'd be easy enough to do. Off the top of my head, I can come up with Fatal Justice, Deadly Blow, Kick to the Bollocks... OK, maybe not that last one, but's probably not far off...

To be fair, his filmography does include a number of nominations for awards. Granted, they were all Golden Raspberries, but still, it's good to be recognised. It's notable also that hardly any of his work in the last 20 years has received a cinema release. Everything, as you say, is straight to DVD (and then, straight to the lower depths of Freeview TV).
 
Swifty said:
And Sonny Chiba :cool: ..
Click to expand...
I'm looking forward to the just-announced Arrow release of Wolf Guy -- "Shinichi "Sonny" Chiba is a martial arts "manimal" in the ultra-70's, 100% bizarre mixture of horror, action and sci-fi that is Wolf Guy."

http://www.arrowfilms.co.uk/shop/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=932

WOLFGUY_UK_2D_BD-500x500.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top