Worst Movie EVER?

CarlosTheDJ

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Assassin's Creed

Now, I'm a big fan of the games, I've played them all to death. I just don't understand how this can have been so badly cocked-up. The cast is great (Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Charlotte Rampling, Michael Kenneth Williams...), the budget was big, the material is ready-made for a movie...

It seems to have been put together by people who have just read about the games, never played them.

I'm sure you're already aware, but the games are immersive historical epics with incredible attention to detail and cameos galore - with short present-day sci-fi bits that punctuate the games, the idea being that you're actually playing a simulation in the game itself. So what do they do? Make a movie which is 90% set in the modern world, the one bit that most fans complain about.

Seriously, we were in the past for about 20 minutes of the whole movie. The rest was trudgingly, painfully boring. A wasted opportunity.

It's on Netflix if you struggle with insomnia.
 

stu neville

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I misread the cast you cited to include Kenneth Williams. He'd be great reprising his role as The Khazi.

(Have seen it actually - agree it's rubbish.)
 

GNC

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The only two good computer game films I can think of are last year's Rampage and the more obscure DOA: Dead or Alive. The best you can hope for is camp, even in those two examples.
 

Kev

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That IS One BAD Film!

Okay people it has been suggested on another thread that there are BAD films out there. So what films have you seen that have left you feeling soiled, degraded and with a bad taste in your mouth. And just to get the ball rolling I can't think of one as I blank them from my memory. But if you want to say ohhh I don't know STARGATE then that's your prerogative. Enjoy!:D
What comes to mind straight away is this film here.It's absolutely terrible and never ever watch it again.EVER!
Black Sheep (2006)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0779982/
 

Swifty

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Assassin's Creed

Now, I'm a big fan of the games, I've played them all to death. I just don't understand how this can have been so badly cocked-up. The cast is great (Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Charlotte Rampling, Michael Kenneth Williams...), the budget was big, the material is ready-made for a movie...

It seems to have been put together by people who have just read about the games, never played them.

I'm sure you're already aware, but the games are immersive historical epics with incredible attention to detail and cameos galore - with short present-day sci-fi bits that punctuate the games, the idea being that you're actually playing a simulation in the game itself. So what do they do? Make a movie which is 90% set in the modern world, the one bit that most fans complain about.

Seriously, we were in the past for about 20 minutes of the whole movie. The rest was trudgingly, painfully boring. A wasted opportunity.

It's on Netflix if you struggle with insomnia.
Fassbender playing Frank Sidebottom in FRANK totally missed the point IMO, he or the director seemed to want to turn Sievey into some kind of Jim Morrison like mystical deep character. It was bobbins. And for some reason, Frank Sidebottom was now American in that film? .. was Fassbender incapable of getting the accent right?

 
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GNC

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Jon Ronson's (short) book on Frank was fantastic (of course). Ronson's script for that film was not fantastic. Not one laugh in the whole thing. Not even a Little Frank!
 

GNC

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And still the shark movies come:

But the scariest thing about this is the credit "DIRECTED BY TOMMY WISEAU". Nice to see he hasn't given up on the misogyny, anyway. Should have called it Shit Sandwich.
 

stu neville

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Apologies if it's already been mentioned, but "2036 - Origin Unknown" really is appalling. Clearly written by someone who has played Portal and seen Contact & 2001 way too many times. There were half a dozen opportunities for real tension or interest, but each one is spectacularly missed. Really, don't bother.
 

GNC

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I'm surprised no one has yet shared the wonderful ''Who Killed Captain Alex'', Uganda's first action film. The acting, the script, the special effects... if this is not Oscar (or Golden Raspberry) material, I don't know what is!
I have heard of it, but the only copy I've been able to find has a MST3K-style commentary track over it. Not that I'm precious, but I prefer to make my own jokes while I'm watching. The whole thing was never supposed to be seen outside of the director's local village, so it's funny that it's gathered this global reputation. It really was a labour of love.
 

Mythopoeika

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I'm surprised no one has yet shared the wonderful ''Who Killed Captain Alex'', Uganda's first action film. The acting, the script, the special effects... if this is not Oscar (or Golden Raspberry) material, I don't know what is!
That wasn't half bad.
It was completely bad!
 

Lord Lucan

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I have recently watched (possibly endured) Robot Monster. A 1950's Z Grade monster movie featuring a guy in a bad gorilla suit & wearing a diving helmet wiping out humanity. It's so appallingly bad, it's good (kind of). Researching it, I found it often ranked one of the worst movies ever made. I'd have to agree.
Find the trailer below, the full movie is on YouTube too:
 

graylien

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I believe the title character in Frank was based mainly on Daniel Johnston (a cult American singer songwriter with mental health issues) while the lengthy recording sessions segment was inspired by stories of Captain Beefheart holing up with his band to develop Trout Mask Replica.

Apart from the facts the script is written by Jon Ronson (who served time playing keyboards in Frank Sidebottom's band), the title character is a singer songwriter called Frank who wears Frank Sidebottom's head, and events are seen from the viewpoint of a keyboard player called Jon who joins the band more or less by accident just as Jon Ronson did Sidebottom's band, the film has nothing to do with the life or music of Frank Sidebottom (himself a character created by Chris Sievey)

It's a tad confusing innit? Personally I enjoyed Frank on its own merits, but I'd much rather they'd made a film about the actual Frank Sidebottom. Though I guess the American film industry would never fund that.

As an aside, in 1990 I saw Sidebottom play a gig at a pub in London, which I think was around the time Ronson was with his band. He did have a keyboard player in the backing band, but he also played a little cheap Casio keyboard (basically a toy) himself, which served as the lead instrument. It was a slightly odd gig in that half the people were there to see Frank while the other half were obviously pub regulars who didn't have the faintest idea who he was!
 

Ogdred Weary

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I believe the title character in Frank was based mainly on Daniel Johnston (a cult American singer songwriter with mental health issues) while the lengthy recording sessions segment was inspired by stories of Captain Beefheart holing up with his band to develop Trout Mask Replica.

Apart from the facts the script is written by Jon Ronson (who served time playing keyboards in Frank Sidebottom's band), the title character is a singer songwriter called Frank who wears Frank Sidebottom's head, and events are seen from the viewpoint of a keyboard player called Jon who joins the band more or less by accident just as Jon Ronson did Sidebottom's band, the film has nothing to do with the life or music of Frank Sidebottom (himself a character created by Chris Sievey)

It's a tad confusing innit? Personally I enjoyed Frank on its own merits, but I'd much rather they'd made a film about the actual Frank Sidebottom. Though I guess the American film industry would never fund that.

As an aside, in 1990 I saw Sidebottom play a gig at a pub in London, which I think was around the time Ronson was with his band. He did have a keyboard player in the backing band, but he also played a little cheap Casio keyboard (basically a toy) himself, which served as the lead instrument. It was a slightly odd gig in that half the people were there to see Frank while the other half were obviously pub regulars who didn't have the faintest idea who he was!
Yeah, I started watching Frank on Netlfix and was pissed off it wasn't the actual Frank Sidebottom, bloody Yanks, coming over here stealing all our novelty head wearing minor musical comedians...
 

bob61

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I've just found this winner ..

ATTACK OF THE MUTANT DICK FOM OUTER SPACE ... it's even in 3D and I've got a few pairs of 3D glasses :cool:

:rofl2: never seen it or heard of it before . this is the kind of stuff i love .... campy , schlocky , b - rated horror & sci - fi stuff like this
 

Swifty

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:rofl2: never seen it or heard of it before . this is the kind of stuff i love .... campy , schlocky , b - rated horror & sci - fi stuff like this
Now all I need to do is find that envelope I put all my 3D glasses in.

I went to see a Creature From The Black Lagoon and It Came From Outer Space 3D double bill in Tamworth in the early 90's, a bunch of lads behind us were giggling all through it with "Fuck! .. it's coming at me!" type comments, turned out they'd all dropped acid that night.
 
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graylien

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Yeah, I started watching Frank on Netlfix and was pissed off it wasn't the actual Frank Sidebottom, bloody Yanks, coming over here stealing all our novelty head wearing minor musical comedians...
Coming next from Hollywood: Pigeons in Flight: The John Shuttleworth Story.

In which we follow American country music legend John Shuttleworth from his humble childhood on an Alabama pig farm to the day he finally achieves his lifelong dream of headlining The Grand Ole Opry. But first he'll have to break free from the clutches of his Machiavellian gun toting Texan manager Colonel Ken Worthington!
 
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