Worst Movie EVER?

CarlosTheDJ

Antediluvian
Joined
Feb 1, 2007
Messages
5,334
Likes
4,164
Points
244
Location
Sussex
Assassin's Creed

Now, I'm a big fan of the games, I've played them all to death. I just don't understand how this can have been so badly cocked-up. The cast is great (Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Charlotte Rampling, Michael Kenneth Williams...), the budget was big, the material is ready-made for a movie...

It seems to have been put together by people who have just read about the games, never played them.

I'm sure you're already aware, but the games are immersive historical epics with incredible attention to detail and cameos galore - with short present-day sci-fi bits that punctuate the games, the idea being that you're actually playing a simulation in the game itself. So what do they do? Make a movie which is 90% set in the modern world, the one bit that most fans complain about.

Seriously, we were in the past for about 20 minutes of the whole movie. The rest was trudgingly, painfully boring. A wasted opportunity.

It's on Netflix if you struggle with insomnia.
 

stu neville

Commissioner.
Staff member
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
11,042
Likes
3,257
Points
234
I misread the cast you cited to include Kenneth Williams. He'd be great reprising his role as The Khazi.

(Have seen it actually - agree it's rubbish.)
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
25,383
Likes
8,969
Points
284
The only two good computer game films I can think of are last year's Rampage and the more obscure DOA: Dead or Alive. The best you can hope for is camp, even in those two examples.
 

Kev

Junior Acolyte
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
44
Likes
77
Points
18
That IS One BAD Film!

Okay people it has been suggested on another thread that there are BAD films out there. So what films have you seen that have left you feeling soiled, degraded and with a bad taste in your mouth. And just to get the ball rolling I can't think of one as I blank them from my memory. But if you want to say ohhh I don't know STARGATE then that's your prerogative. Enjoy!:D
What comes to mind straight away is this film here.It's absolutely terrible and never ever watch it again.EVER!
Black Sheep (2006)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0779982/
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
22,670
Likes
24,520
Points
284
Assassin's Creed

Now, I'm a big fan of the games, I've played them all to death. I just don't understand how this can have been so badly cocked-up. The cast is great (Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Charlotte Rampling, Michael Kenneth Williams...), the budget was big, the material is ready-made for a movie...

It seems to have been put together by people who have just read about the games, never played them.

I'm sure you're already aware, but the games are immersive historical epics with incredible attention to detail and cameos galore - with short present-day sci-fi bits that punctuate the games, the idea being that you're actually playing a simulation in the game itself. So what do they do? Make a movie which is 90% set in the modern world, the one bit that most fans complain about.

Seriously, we were in the past for about 20 minutes of the whole movie. The rest was trudgingly, painfully boring. A wasted opportunity.

It's on Netflix if you struggle with insomnia.
Fassbender playing Frank Sidebottom in FRANK totally missed the point IMO, he or the director seemed to want to turn Sievey into some kind of Jim Morrison like mystical deep character. It was bobbins. And for some reason, Frank Sidebottom was now American in that film? .. was Fassbender incapable of getting the accent right?

 
Last edited:

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
25,383
Likes
8,969
Points
284
Jon Ronson's (short) book on Frank was fantastic (of course). Ronson's script for that film was not fantastic. Not one laugh in the whole thing. Not even a Little Frank!
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
25,383
Likes
8,969
Points
284
And still the shark movies come:

But the scariest thing about this is the credit "DIRECTED BY TOMMY WISEAU". Nice to see he hasn't given up on the misogyny, anyway. Should have called it Shit Sandwich.
 

stu neville

Commissioner.
Staff member
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
11,042
Likes
3,257
Points
234
Apologies if it's already been mentioned, but "2036 - Origin Unknown" really is appalling. Clearly written by someone who has played Portal and seen Contact & 2001 way too many times. There were half a dozen opportunities for real tension or interest, but each one is spectacularly missed. Really, don't bother.
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
25,383
Likes
8,969
Points
284
I'm surprised no one has yet shared the wonderful ''Who Killed Captain Alex'', Uganda's first action film. The acting, the script, the special effects... if this is not Oscar (or Golden Raspberry) material, I don't know what is!
I have heard of it, but the only copy I've been able to find has a MST3K-style commentary track over it. Not that I'm precious, but I prefer to make my own jokes while I'm watching. The whole thing was never supposed to be seen outside of the director's local village, so it's funny that it's gathered this global reputation. It really was a labour of love.
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
32,635
Likes
16,696
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
I'm surprised no one has yet shared the wonderful ''Who Killed Captain Alex'', Uganda's first action film. The acting, the script, the special effects... if this is not Oscar (or Golden Raspberry) material, I don't know what is!
That wasn't half bad.
It was completely bad!
 

Lord Lucan

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
363
Likes
703
Points
94
I have recently watched (possibly endured) Robot Monster. A 1950's Z Grade monster movie featuring a guy in a bad gorilla suit & wearing a diving helmet wiping out humanity. It's so appallingly bad, it's good (kind of). Researching it, I found it often ranked one of the worst movies ever made. I'd have to agree.
Find the trailer below, the full movie is on YouTube too:
 
Top