Worst Movie EVER?

Lord Lucan

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Killer Sofa actually looks quite enjoyable

Enjoyable? How dare you praise this piece of cinematic trash. I'm not going to take this sitting down! I was trying to think of a more polite way to word this reply, but have had no luck sofa.
 

ramonmercado

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Killer Sofa actually looks quite enjoyable

Ever see Bed of the Dead?

Bed of the Dead: Horror film involving time discontinuity and a carnivorous possessed bed in a Sex Club. Four people trapped on a bed, they get killed one by one by a dark spirit as they try to get off (off the bed that is though they had planned a foursome). The bed was made from the wood of a cursed tree, a sinning monk was hung from it and stabbed to death by his Brethren.

A cop gets in contact via mobile phone with one of those on the bed, but realises that he is several hours in her future. He then becomes entangled in the time loop. Bed disembowels, eats, chops up and makes people see visions. Each of them has a reason to feel guilt, the bed uses this against them. Not bad. 6/10. On The Horror Channel.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4730706/?ref_=ur_urv
 

Swifty

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Ever see Bed of the Dead?

Bed of the Dead: Horror film involving time discontinuity and a carnivorous possessed bed in a Sex Club. Four people trapped on a bed, they get killed one by one by a dark spirit as they try to get off (off the bed that is though they had planned a foursome). The bed was made from the wood of a cursed tree, a sinning monk was hung from it and stabbed to death by his Brethren.

A cop gets in contact via mobile phone with one of those on the bed, but realises that he is several hours in her future. He then becomes entangled in the time loop. Bed disembowels, eats, chops up and makes people see visions. Each of them has a reason to feel guilt, the bed uses this against them. Not bad. 6/10. On The Horror Channel.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4730706/?ref_=ur_urv
Was that made by the same team who made Hammock of Hades? .. (just kidding, I've made that title up)
 

GNC

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I've seen 1977's Death Bed: The Bed That Eats, if that's any help.
 

GNC

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The AV Club's worst of the worst 2019:
Worst Films List 2019

Includes my pick for the biggest piece of shite out this year, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, but also includes the likes of Replicas, Joker (gasp!), The Lion King (double gasp!) and The Fanatic (oh - fair enough). And there's someone on the planet named Hero Fiennes-Tiffin, apparently.
 

ramonmercado

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The AV Club's worst of the worst 2019:
Worst Films List 2019

Includes my pick for the biggest piece of shite out this year, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, but also includes the likes of Replicas, Joker (gasp!), The Lion King (double gasp!) and The Fanatic (oh - fair enough). And there's someone on the planet named Hero Fiennes-Tiffin, apparently.
Replicas was passable.

I have to see the Nick Cage film Primal, it sounds a howl.
 

GNC

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I have to see the Nick Cage film Primal, it sounds a howl.
It sounds like it would be entertaining if Nic had been in kerayzee mode, but according to the article he's disappointingly boring in it. There oughta be a law!
 

ramonmercado

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Cats: I'm feline sick, could be catalepsy, I'll end up catatonic. Judi Dench (Deuteronomy) looks and acts like Grandpa Walton after a night on the moonshine. Ian McKellen (Gus) resembles a werewolf with the mange and sings like one. Idris Elba is more convincing as Macavity as is Francesca Hayward as Victoria. There are a few good numbers but I left before the end, I couldn't care less as to whether or not Elba drowned Dench, The director/writer Tom Hooper should be drowned. I wish I had been spayed from this abomination. 3/10.
 

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Cats: I'm feline sick, could be catalepsy, I'll end up catatonic. Judi Dench (Deuteronomy) looks and acts like Grandpa Walton after a night on the moonshine. Ian McKellen (Gus) resembles a werewolf with the mange and sings like one. Idris Elba is more convincing as Macavity as is Francesca Hayward as Victoria. There are a few good numbers but I left before the end, I couldn't care less as to whether or not Elba drowned Dench, The director/writer Tom Hooper should be drowned. I wish I had been spayed from this abomination. 3/10.
MiaOWW!
 

GNC

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Wait a minute - a film Ramon really hated?! They must be rare as hen's teeth! I'm almost tempted to watch Cats out of curiosity, but the music puts me off. Had to laugh at Mark Kermode saying the cast looked like monkeys and mice!

You know what? Hooper's Les Miserables wasn't any good either. The signs were there!
 

Lord Lucan

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I'm flicking around Amazon Prime in the search of something to watch late at night and have come across these two...

Firstly:
6 Headed Shark Attack - Attendees of a marriage boot camp on a remote island have to fight a 6-headed shark that attacks the beach. Sounds brilliant, though if it's 'Jaws x 6' then perhaps not as bad as it sounds.

Next, prepare to be terrified, or prepare the roast potatoes & gravy for the...
Night of the Wererooster - Something is killing people in the woods. Something covered with feathers. Reluctant heroes battle to keep their community safe from a deadly wererooster.
 

GNC

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I bet the were-rooster there isn't as batshit as the original were-rooster movie Blood Freak (or was he a were-turkey?). Now there's a bafflingly terrible film.
 

GNC

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Remember Bird Box? Maybe you do, it seems like it was years ago, but its soundtrack music writer Trent Reznor wishes you didn't:
Trent authority

In fact he calls it "a fucking waste of time" seeing as how badly it was treated in the edit, but thought it was so terrible nobody would see it anyway. Oops. Must admit I have no memory of it, but then again, I barely have any memory of the film.
 

ramonmercado

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Remember Bird Box? Maybe you do, it seems like it was years ago, but its soundtrack music writer Trent Reznor wishes you didn't:
Trent authority

In fact he calls it "a fucking waste of time" seeing as how badly it was treated in the edit, but thought it was so terrible nobody would see it anyway. Oops. Must admit I have no memory of it, but then again, I barely have any memory of the film.
I can't really remember the music but I liked the film, they could have done better though considering the source material.
 

Lord Lucan

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That concept sounds more horrific than a six-headed shark.

maximus otter
I have some friends who are quite religious and before they married they attended such a thing. Rather than for saving marriages, this one was to ensure that the participants subsequent marriages actually lasted. They have just celebrated 30 years, so I suppose we can chalk it up as a success ( both their marriage and the boot camp ).
 
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