Worst Movie EVER?

Swifty

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I think he's done five or more "feature films" now. He is apparently insane but doesn't mind audiences laughing at his films, I'm not sure he understands why they are laughing though...

He's also done a filmaking course, so you too can make cinematic marvels:


Breen discussion starts 20 or so minutes in.
Magnificent .. and I've got a sudden urge to re watch Rawhead Rex now, I haven't seen that since the 80's. All I can remember about Rex is the bit in Clive Barker's book when Rex pisses in a willing priest's mouth.
 

Ogdred Weary

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Magnificent .. and I've got a sudden urge to re watch Rawhead Rex now, I haven't seen that since the 80's. All I can remember about Rex is the bit in Clive Barker's book when Rex pisses in a willing priest's mouth.

I have a funny feeling that that bit didn't make it to screen.

Sadly.
 

Dinobot

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Broadcasting from the moon...
Time of the Apes was a Japanese sort-of spin on POTA with truly atrocious dubbing. King Dinosaur was notable only for trying to pass off real lizards as Big Scary Dinosaurs via ropey cross-cutting.

Village of the Giants, on the other hand, was an absolute cracker: giant cat, giant dog, giant ducks that literally shake their tail feathers at a dance party then get roasted on a giant spit, giant spider electrocuted via gymnastic swinging to break a ceiling cable and multi-coloured optical flashes, giant prop legs, giant prop bosom people kept hanging from, David vs Goliath complete with slightshot, all wrapped up in swinging 60s vibes. Pretty sure copious quantities of dubious chemicals were involved in the making of it. A hoot to watch.

Now I'm on to The Mole People, a black and white pseudo-serious - it started with a short lecture, for crying out loud - Verne wannabe, of which there seemed to be many.
I don't care!
 

GNC

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Village of the Giants is a Bert I. Gordon ("Mr B.I.G.") movie, he was obsessed with making movies about giant things. He also made The Mad Bomber, which was a 70s thriller in unbelievable bad taste (I recommend the uncut version for the full rotten effect!).
 

WanderingFox

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I don't care!

About the dubbing? Fair enough. :)

The Mole People eschewed badly comped critters in favour of a long-buried matte painting city of light-sensitive, highly religious albinos and their scaled, bug-eyed, long-clawed, burrowing, humpbacked, mostly feral yet neatly dressed slave race. Unfortunately, these wonderfully gonzo elements play in a plot so dull I don't even remember how it ends beyond the latter revolting. The lifeless lead characters don't help, either.

What happens when Hammer go sci-fi? Moon Zero Two happens, a confounding mix of zany animated opening, ebullient jazz score that hardly ever shuts up, random costuming and wacky hairdos with lots of shiny plastic textures, a weirdly-accented Warren Mitchell, a permanently bemused Bernard Bresslaw, a low grav 'fight' that's just the actors fumbling awkwardly in slow motion around an oddly stagey bar that randomly changes theme twice during the film, a moon lander treated as multi-purpose space vehicle, and a lead with no discernible personality. I have no idea what the film was trying to be, and I'm pretty sure no-one involved knew, either.

Village of the Giants is a Bert I. Gordon ("Mr B.I.G.") movie, he was obsessed with making movies about giant things. He also made The Mad Bomber, which was a 70s thriller in unbelievable bad taste (I recommend the uncut version for the full rotten effect!).

Yeah, as a friend I was chatting with on Telegram as I watched noted, there was something almost fetishistic about VotG. To Gordon's credit, it's a pretty decent film technically, with some nice composites, it just also happens to be deranged. Speaking of, The Mad Bomber is certainly tempting, if only in a morbid curiosity kind of way. How bad can it possibly be...?
 

GNC

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Moon Zero Two was a space western, of course!

The Mad Bomber is for seasoned bad movie fans only, I'd say, especially those immune to routine 1970s offensiveness.
 

ramonmercado

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What happens when Hammer go sci-fi? Moon Zero Two happens, a confounding mix of zany animated opening, ebullient jazz score that hardly ever shuts up, random costuming and wacky hairdos with lots of shiny plastic textures, a weirdly-accented Warren Mitchell, a permanently bemused Bernard Bresslaw, a low grav 'fight' that's just the actors fumbling awkwardly in slow motion around an oddly stagey bar that randomly changes theme twice during the film, a moon lander treated as multi-purpose space vehicle, and a lead with no discernible personality. I have no idea what the film was trying to be, and I'm pretty sure no-one involved knew, either.

I remember seeing this as a kid, liked it at the time.
 

WanderingFox

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It's a line from Time Of The Apes - as the boy is heading out to the lab, an earthquake hits. His mother says don't go, it's too dangerous, and he responds "I don't care..." and ships merrily off to his doom...

:doh:Well, now I feel silly. Shows how much of the dialogue landed for me, I guess.

Moon Zero Two was a space western, of course!

Well, that explains the western bar theme, but not a single thing else! Maybe they shared the chemicals Gordon was imbibing when he made Village of the Giants. Speaking of Gordon...

The Mad Bomber is for seasoned bad movie fans only, I'd say, especially those immune to routine 1970s offensiveness.

Noted. Will think on it a bit.

Bumped into Gordon again last night, an earlier, black and white effort called Earth vs the Spider, which was sadly nowhere near as wackadoodle as VotG, but shared a lot of the same elements, including dopey teens, random dances and lame prop legs. Would also have more accurately been titled Small Generic American Town vs the Spider.

The Robot vs The Aztec Mummy was a lot better, but then Mexican genre films of the 50s and 60s never seem to disappoint. The Robot, when it finally appeared after most of the movie was taken up by recaps of the prior entries in the series and a villainous monologue that never seemed to end, was something to behold...

the-robot-vs-the-aztec-mummy.jpg


It might even have been nuttier than Samson vs the Vampire Women, and that featured a luchador hero who could really take a hit and undead minions who ran with heads down, arms out and capes spread.

Kitten with a Whip doesn't need MST3K, it's a camp classic on its own. Ann-Margret at her best.

Now I've seen it, I wholeheartedly agree!
 
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GNC

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The Robot vs The Aztec Mummy was a lot better, but then Mexican genre films of the 50s and 60s never seem to disappoint. The Robot, when it finally appeared after most of the movie was taken up by recaps of the prior entries in the series and a villainous monologue that never seemed to end, was something to behold...

View attachment 48495

It might even have been nuttier than Samson vs the Vampire Women, and that featured a luchador hero who could really take a hit and undead minions who ran with heads down, arms out and capes spread.



Now I've seen it, I wholeheartedly agree!

Hooray! Also, on a Mexican trip, check out The Wrestling Women vs The Aztec Mummy, which is one of the best Mexican wrestling movies. And from the same era, The Brainiac is really quite something too.
 
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