Worst Movie EVER?

Swifty

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Nic Cage was paid a four pack of special brew and some roadkill.
I thought 'I'm sure that's Tom Sizemore who played Mike in Saving Private Ryan? .. it is!, it is Mike! .. this film's going to be great!!' ... wrong :( ...

The Mrs was joking concerned that the obvious wig Nic Cage was wearing was going to float off at some point in the film: she was shouting "DON'T LOSE YOUR WIG NICOLAS CAGE! HOLD ON TO YOUR WIG!" ..

 
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I thought 'I'm sure that's Tom Sizemore who played Mike in Saving Private Ryan? .. it is!, it is Mike! .. this film's going to be great!!' ... wrong :( ...

The Mrs was joking concerned that the obvious wig Nic Cage was wearing was going to float off at some point in the film: "DON'T LOSE YOUR WIG NICOLAS CAGE! HOLD ON TO YOUR WIG!" ..

Don't mock, half the budget went on that wig.
 

Swifty

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I've only just learned of the existence of this winner so in all fairness it might be good. I doubt it though.

asewagebaby.jpg


 

Earthly oddity

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The Bad Batch.

It is so bad my brain actually erased my memories of what the film was called/the plot/the actors etc.

I saw it and watched it a second time on netflix (and had forgotten it so well I wasted a long time before realising this was that awful film I watched before).

And I even managed to forget it all again.....I managed to watch it a third time and waste even more of my life that I will never get back......
 

What Tyler

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MOONFALL- gawd it’s truuuuly awful, utter, utter tosh...turning the laws of physics into complete bollocks, whilst using all the tired old troupes, “ maverick” discredited hero, brilliant nerd doing menial labour, ( big organisation in this case NASA) of course who can’t find its arse with own hands and hot lady with family issues etc etc etc.
Lobotomy central. Remember you’ll never get that 2 odd hours back!
 

brownmane

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The Bad Batch.

It is so bad my brain actually erased my memories of what the film was called/the plot/the actors etc.

I saw it and watched it a second time on netflix (and had forgotten it so well I wasted a long time before realising this was that awful film I watched before).

And I even managed to forget it all again.....I managed to watch it a third time and waste even more of my life that I will never get back......
I have the same unfortunate forgetfulness and totally relate. Lol
 

sherbetbizarre

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Bruce Willis has a good thing going - being paid a LOT of money to appear looking bored in movies for a few minutes, just so they can put him on the cover and sell it as a "Bruce Willis movie". However, The Razzies (who have given him his own category!) and Red Letter Media have seen through the ruse...

WORST PERFORMANCE by BRUCE WILLIS in a 2021 MOVIE
Bruce Willis / American Siege
Bruce Willis / Apex
Bruce Willis / Cosmic Sin
Bruce Willis / Deadlock
Bruce Willis / Fortress
Bruce Willis / Midnight in the Switchgrass
Bruce Willis / Out of Death
Bruce Willis / Survive the Game
 

ramonmercado

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MOONFALL- gawd it’s truuuuly awful, utter, utter tosh...turning the laws of physics into complete bollocks, whilst using all the tired old troupes, “ maverick” discredited hero, brilliant nerd doing menial labour, ( big organisation in this case NASA) of course who can’t find its arse with own hands and hot lady with family issues etc etc etc.
Lobotomy central. Remember you’ll never get that 2 odd hours back!

I liked it, the whole idea of Hollow Moons as an artefact; effectively a Dyson Sphere isn't beyond the laws of physics for an advanced civilisation.* How exactly the gravity from a closer moon would affect the Earth is a different matter, probably worse than portrayed in the film. I'll do a review.

* https://scitechdaily.com/advanced-c...collect-unimaginable-energy-from-black-holes/
 
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Bruce Willis has a good thing going - being paid a LOT of money to appear looking bored in movies for a few minutes, just so they can put him on the cover and sell it as a "Bruce Willis movie". However, The Razzies (who have given him his own category!) and Red Letter Media have seen through the ruse...



I watched that, I was aware of the Bruce Willis shitty straight to Redbox/streaming phenomena as some other youtubers like Ralph the Moviemaker have covered it. Watching those clips, especially the ones from Cosmic Sin, where he walks around slowly looking slightly befuddled; I wondered whether he might have early onset dementia - he seems and sounds older than he looks and "vague" in the way some elderly people do - WIllis is only 66 now. Him being fed his lines, especially in that play they mention suggests memory issues over indifference. I googled it and apparently there's been speculation about this for some years, if you check out the youtube video comment there's some there.

There's been anonymous comments online by people purporting to have worked on some of these films saying he actually has a handler/carer on set. Some of the comments and articles suggest he's trying to earn as much for his kids the only way he can whilst spending as much time with his family as possible - he's likely on location one or two days for each of these. Laudable, I suppose but Willis must be worth tens to hundreds of millions, I reckon his kids (youngest are pre-teen) will be fine and plenty of poor suckers will be paid less than union rates or nothing at all to work on these pieces of shit. There's also the possibility he's being forced to work by his family/management/agents.

This is the article they cite:

https://www.vulture.com/article/randall-emmett-movies.html?utm_source=pocket-newtab
 

Mythopoeika

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I watched that, I was aware of the Bruce Willis shitty straight to Redbox/streaming phenomena as some other youtubers like Ralph the Moviemaker have covered it. Watching those clips, especially the ones from Cosmic Sin, where he walks around slowly looking slightly befuddled; I wondered whether he might have early onset dementia - he seems and sounds older than he looks and "vague" in the way some elderly people do - WIllis is only 66 now. Him being fed his lines, especially in that play they mention suggests memory issues over indifference. I googled it and apparently there's been speculation about this for some years, if you check out the youtube video comment there's some there.

There's been anonymous comments online by people purporting to have worked on some of these films saying he actually has a handler/carer on set. Some of the comments and articles suggest he's trying to earn as much for his kids the only way he can whilst spending as much time with his family as possible - he's likely on location one or two days for each of these. Laudable, I suppose but Willis must be worth tens to hundreds of millions, I reckon his kids (youngest are pre-teen) will be fine and plenty of poor suckers will be paid less than union rates or nothing at all to work on these pieces of shit. There's also the possibility he's being forced to work by his family/management/agents.

This is the article they cite:

https://www.vulture.com/article/randall-emmett-movies.html?utm_source=pocket-newtab
It is possible that he's having health issues. He does seem to be quite robotic now.
Bruce used to be good back in the day - sad if he is suffering from dementia. :(
 

Swifty

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I've not watched this film but it's got Ninjas on roller skates Vs a bubble car ..

Ninja Thunderbolt (1984) directed by Godfrey Ho.

 
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Trish71

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Vantage Point (2008) - A friend raved about this "must see" action movie but it has to be one of THE worst films ever! The same shot from 50 different camera angles and then it finished!
 

Herr Cloaca

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I've not watched this film but it's got Ninjas on roller skates Vs a bubble car ..

Ninja Thunderbolt (1984) directed by Godfrey Ho.
Godfrey Ho made countless crappy ninja films in the late eighties. Even he doesn't know how many films he made. The plots make no sense, he just spliced random footage in from other films and nicked random phat beats as background music.
 

Trish71

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Whilst I like Bruce Campell, I have to admit that The Evil dead films (apart from the first) are dreadful!
 

Swifty

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Whilst I like Bruce Campell, I have to admit that The Evil dead films (apart from the first) are dreadful!
For me Trish, the first one's my all time favourite film, partly because it was so low budget (the stories about their freestyle fund raising are the stuff of legend) but mainly because it's boring until it suddenly isn't and then you get thrown head first into a wall that doesn't stop and then goes harder and harder and harder and faster until the end when it kicks you in the face .. and then it plays you happy jazz music when the credits roll just because ..

The second one wasn't what anyone was expecting but it was cartoon fun.

The third one was basically Jason and The Argonaughts IMO.
 

Damien

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Whilst I like Bruce Campell, I have to admit that The Evil dead films (apart from the first) are dreadful!
I liked the First 2 Evil deads (Just good old-fashioned tongue-in-cheek fun) I also like to guilty indulge in the "Ash Vs the evil dead " TV series.
 

Swifty

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I liked the First 2 Evil deads (Just good old-fashioned tongue-in-cheek fun) I also like to guilty indulge in the "Ash Vs the evil dead " TV series.
In the sequence of events as I remember watching the Evil Dead films, Ash was just a poor unfortunate during the first night. His girl and all his friends were dying around him and also coming back to attack him so he was just trying to survive. This is what made it a pure horror film. There was no deliberate humour. That's why it remains my (and Stephen King's) favourite.

Bruce Campbell didn't like the fact that people were laughing at the film, he didn't like that when a flimsy shelf unit was knocked onto Ash, Ash struggled to escape .. later screenings and 'jocks' were laughing at the screenings .. so ..

He 'buffed up' for The Evil Dead 2 .. then chose to become a dick for part 3 .. and then an even bigger dick for the Ash Vs Evil Dead TV series.
 

WanderingFox

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They're owning the trope, at least., but you do have to wonder where the whole "Insert cheesy horror franchise here" IIIIN SPAAAACE thing will go next. Paranormal Activity IIIIN SPAAAACE? Saw IIIIN SPAAAACE? Halloween SPAAAACE?

Tremors IIIIN SPAAAACE could be fun, mind.
 

brownmane

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They're owning the trope, at least., but you do have to wonder where the whole "Insert cheesy horror franchise here" IIIIN SPAAAACE thing will go next. Paranormal Activity IIIIN SPAAAACE? Saw IIIIN SPAAAACE? Halloween SPAAAACE?

Tremors IIIIN SPAAAACE could be fun, mind.
But no Scream IIIIINN SPAAACE.
 

Swifty

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They're owning the trope, at least., but you do have to wonder where the whole "Insert cheesy horror franchise here" IIIIN SPAAAACE thing will go next. Paranormal Activity IIIIN SPAAAACE? Saw IIIIN SPAAAACE? Halloween SPAAAACE?

Tremors IIIIN SPAAAACE could be fun, mind.
Friday The 13th 10/JASON X was set in space and that was surprisingly really entertaining and well made. It also contained my favourite Jason kill ever (so far) when Jason grabs a student on the space ship, rams her head into a basin of liquid nitrogen, pulls her back out and then smashes it on the counter so it shatters like mushy porcelain :popc: ..


AMITYVILLE IN SPACE on the other hand looks like utter shite instead ..
 

WanderingFox

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Yeah, Jason X was one of the better entries in the franchise that stubbornly refused to die, and still likely hasn't, just the right balance of scary, schlocky and self-aware.

And now you have me wondering what would happen if another unkillable horror staple, Freddie, got booted into orbit. Maybe that's the next re-re-reboot. "No one can hear you scream in your dreams in space".
 

Swifty

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Yeah, Jason X was one of the better entries in the franchise that stubbornly refused to die, and still likely hasn't, just the right balance of scary, schlocky and self-aware.

And now you have me wondering what would happen if another unkillable horror staple, Freddie, got booted into orbit. Maybe that's the next re-re-reboot. "No one can hear you scream in your dreams in space".
I love fantasy and comedy horror, the later works especially well because there's a fine line between horror and comedy, they both use the same tricks to capture an audience's attention and imagination. I can't be doing with watching torture porn films, I don't want to excite that kind of audience. I'm up for films like CRITTERS, TerrorVision, HOUSE, Killer Clowns From Outer Space etc where you don't feel guilty about watching because the story action is so over the top it's funny. Roller coaster horror films.
 

WanderingFox

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I love fantasy and comedy horror, the later works especially well because there's a fine line between horror and comedy, they both use the same tricks to capture an audience's attention and imagination. I can't be doing with watching torture porn films, I don't want to excite that kind of audience. I'm up for films like CRITTERS, TerrorVision, HOUSE, Killer Clowns From Outer Space etc where you don't feel guilty about watching because the story action is so over the top it's funny. Roller coaster horror films.
Oh, I fully understand where you're coming from. I have a pretty low tolerance for violence, but love a good scary film, so lean towards the original Halloween, The Omen and The Haunting rather than modern gorefests. However, if it's comical, like Evil Dead 2, a film so wildly OTT it had Ash fighting his own severed, demonically possessed hand, or stylised/impressionistic like Candyman, I can handle more. See also: half the filmography of Tim Burton.

Been debating checking out the House films, actually. They seem agreeably broad and knowing.
 
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