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Worst Movie EVER?

A

Anonymous

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That IS One BAD Film!

Okay people it has been suggested on another thread that there are BAD films out there. So what films have you seen that have left you feeling soiled, degraded and with a bad taste in your mouth. And just to get the ball rolling I can't think of one as I blank them from my memory. But if you want to say ohhh I don't know STARGATE then that's your prerogative. Enjoy!:D
 
Cats and Dogs, for its uncompromising prejudice ( not cause I'm pro cat anti dog , just for the basic disgust , out of principle ) Couldn't finish watching it .
 
FROM HELL
I couldn't watch more than 15 minutes, but then I had read the book just before.
 
Pay It Forward(desparate, self-important piece of crap), Queen Of The Damned(corporate pandering the lowest common denominator: teens), Say It Isn't So(my friends invitied me on that one, i didn't have anything else to do...it wasn't even my type of fair.) those three sucked it long and sucked it hard and sucked it good.
 
THE X FILES

Maulder decides to travel to the South Pole to find Scully (or something, I was so angry by that time everything was a red haze), so he jumps into a tractor type thing and heads off ALONE!! Then finds he didn't have enought fuel (ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT!!) so starts WALKING! ARRGH!

Luckily over the next hill, he finds the secret hideout (unguraded of course).


THE SIXTH SENSE

STUPID,STUPID,STUPID!
Everyone said to me, 'You've got to see the twist at the end!' What twist? It was obvious ten minutes into the film that he was dead. You had to be a complete idiot not to see that.

Time for my tablets
 
Wow, there's so much to choose from - and I just mean this year. Most actioners these days are, I think, supposed to be dumb, so I can't get mad at them. I'm actually quite looking forward to the bit in The Transporter where he deflects a rocket-propelled grenade with a tea tray. I find them more bland than bad.

If you want bad, then Hollywood's current output of "comedies" has to be top contender. The amount of unfunny, amateurish drivel out there is unbelievable. I'm thinking of crap like Corky Romano, Kung Pow, all those college-based ones, and the inexplicably successful (and the point of this post) Scary Movies 1 and 2. NOT FUNNY.
 
Recent rubbish:

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST. Sacreligious recent film version kills the essence of the play with slap-stick, Ally McBeal-type dream sequences, anachronistic music, costumes and general over-acting.

MY LITTLE EYE. Blair Witch done with CCTV and no class.

Older rubbish:

STAR WARS EPISODE ONE. ZZzzzzzzzz.

TITANIC. The best bit of the film was during a sentimental moment with the old lady on the modern-day salvage boat. Someone in the cinema yawned very loudly and a good 80% of the audience laughed.
 
Highlander 2.

Lets just junk all of the plot from the first film in order to make a silly film about aliens from another planet. :rolleyes: It's the only film that I've considered walking out of...
 
Almost forgot...

THE SCORPION KING.

A friend insisted on seeing it as they are a big fan of mindless action flicks. Halfway through, I found myself nodding off. I woke up feeling a bit guilty, looked across at my friend and they were fast asleep :)
 
I've recently noticed that I really enjoy reading bad film reviews. I get some weird pervy kick from reading people being creatively nasty about films that truly deserve it.

My favourite is by Roger Ebert (the Barry Norman of the US) for the Rob Reiner movie 'North'. The penultimate paragraph is just brilliant.

http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_reviews/1994/07/931635.html
 
Star Wars

I have to agree with sidecar_john about the Star Wars films.
At least they weren't as bad as The Wrath of Khan
:hmph:
 
I nearly forgot; anything with Norman Wisdom in it.
Or Jerry Lewis.
 
how could i have forgotten?
Road to perdition.

That's holy shite
 
Eyes wide shut

45 mins into it you're still wondering when the movie is going to start. It also trys to be erotic but suceads in being just as erotic as a wet fish. Why Stanley, why?

also the man without a face (mel gibson) and just about evrything staring hugh grant bar bidgitt jones and extreame mesures.
 
The Pest --I didn't make it through the beginiing credits.:cross eye
 
Jaws 4. Or was it Jaws - the Revenge, can't remember it's official title. The one with Michael Caine in it anyway.

The first one, unrealistic rubber shark aside, is still a good film. Quite dated and predictable now, but excellent for 1975!
Second one was an average sequel, nowhere near as good as the first. Third one was very poor, but the fourth... Utterly appalling.
 
The worst film I have ever seen is definitely Patch Adams.

Premise: Robin Williams the lovable man-child acts like a complete twat in a hospital, in a way that would have most right-thinking people hit him in the head with the nearest weapon. Somehow the audience are supposed to be with him as the hospital authority, quite rightly, try and stop him. Cos they're like, evil, and he's, like, lovable.

Utter tosh.
 
For me it's just GOT to be "The Blair Witch Project". I watched it for the second time on TV last week just to check it was as bad as I remembered and it was worse. Whoever decided that the sight of twig dollies hanging in a tree and a bit of sticky stuff on a rucksack would be enough to scare viewers into a state of hysteria has so obviously not met me. I was so glad when those foul-mouthed, disorganized, drama queeny bloody STUDENTS got what was coming to them that I laughed my head off. It would have been improved no end IMO by being REALLY real and presenting the evidence of the gormless bastards' disembowelment or whatever. Close up, and next to a signed coroner's report. And I'd still have laughed. :D
 
Evilsprout said:
The worst film I have ever seen is definitely Patch Adams.

Premise: Robin Williams the lovable man-child acts like a complete twat ...

Hay! nothing wrong with being a lovable man-child, why I'm a lovable manchild.
 
Oll: "I'm a lovable manchild". OK, but do you act like a complete twat? :cool:
 
Only teasing, Oll. I'm sure when you're being a twat you're only acting. Robin Williams is being as Nature made him. ;)
 
Rank amateurs.

Unless you've seen THE GORE-MET ZOMBIE CHEF FROM HELL, you have no idea how hilariously bad a movie can be.
 
Oh where to start, where to start.


What Dreams May Come - gorgeous cinematography, hideous, horrible, cringe-inducing dialogue, plot, etc., etc., etc.

What Women Want - Not that freaking film, let me tell you

Far And Away - Who coached them for dialogue? Hell, who wrote the script?!

Some horrid film with Kevin Bacon as a guy who becomes see-through. Kyra Sedgewick (I think) was the girl in the film. Truly terrible stuff.

Attack Of The Clones - I am still pissed off that I paid $9 to see this movie. It was so bad.
 
Well...I've been on the recieving end of a certain amount of abuse for this, but * A Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover* (I think) was a film I walked out on, oh, is it fifteen years ago now, and somehow grows even more wretched in the memory of it. I remember offering to my companion that I'd be willing to wipe myself with a piece of celluloid, call it LIFE, and have critics all over the world hail it as ART. Visible shudder.
 
I'd second Oll's suggestion that Eyes Wide Shut was quite astonishingly
terrible.

But then all of Kubrick's works would go in the skip, if I was cleaning out the
archives. Except possibly The Killing and Day of the Fight.

Doctor Strangelove is a grotesquely overrated crock of Sellars going more
OTT than usual, even for him. And he was a crap actor anyway.

Speaking of actors, the sight of Nicholson chewing the scenery in The
Shiting is no more edifying.

2001 is the boredom of corporate America translated into space. And the
most famous clever idea - the bone into spaceship jump cut - had been done
to better effect by Powell some 24 years earlier. Only it was a falcon and
a Spitfire. I'd pause a moment. Then chuck it in the skip.

Barry Lyndon is a very pretty movie, if you can ever get to see it. It is spoken
of with awe by people who know about film speeds and light levels. It is also
spoken of with awe by people who found themselves turning quite often
to check the light levels of their wristwatches. Time stops, I swear.

The Clockwork Orange at least dramatizes its own case - an emetic exercise in
aversion therapy. In the skip with it, ultrafast, my brothers.

Then Full Metal Jacket, which is blackly funny in its training camp scenes. The Vietnam
bits have Made in England written all over them.

What's at the bottom of the barrel? Bloody Lolita with that turd-faced James
Mason perving away. Bin and wash hands.

That leaves Paths of Glory and a part share in Spartacus? Neither of which
I've seen. Bin them anyway, to be on the safe side.

Sorted. Next week, I will not be looking at the collected works of Oliver
Bleeding Stone. Good night. :eek!!!!:
 
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