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Worst Movie EVER?

Kevin Smith's Yoga Hosers is dire ..

and everyone says "aboot" instead of "about" ............. a LOT ............. in case we've forgotten it's all happening in Canada.
I, er, laughed every time they said that! But not much more...

and Johnny Depp play some sort of hard to explain character ...
His character - plus the two girls - all previously appeared in Kevin Smith's TUSK (which is better)
 
I, er, laughed every time they said that! But not much more...


His character - plus the two girls - all previously appeared in Kevin Smith's TUSK (which is better)
Yeah, I didn't mind TUSK although I didn't think it was great either, it was definitely better than Yoga Hosers.
 
And b) How did the last movie YOU made go down?

It was a little skin flick called "Star Wars Underworld: A XXX parody". It got quite decent reviews and was listed consistently as one of the best pornos of 2017. Thanks for asking :badge:
 
Have you ever watched a film that's so disappointingly bad it actually makes you angry ?

If I'd gone to the cinema to watch Kingsmen 2: The Golden Circle, if I'd paid to watch it, tried to find a parking space, sat through a ton of adverts for the main feature, I'd have been inconsolable ..

I was and remain a huge fan of the first film but absolutely nothing made any sense on any level in pt 2, it's as if the director was under pressure to chuck as much crap in there as possible as quickly as possible for a committee .. was I watching Batman meets The Transformers meets The Fast & The Furious meets Mars Attacks ? .. I still don't know what it was I watched !

************SPOILERS***************

Galahad is now mentally damaged after being shot in the head ... he didn't die because they put some CGI magic gel stuff on his face and zapped that on either side with little pen sized electronic gadget things that's hurriedly explained as being able to resurrect the dead apparently with an unconvincing computer graphics explanation ... so now he's in a sort of padded cell and has reverted back to his earlier love of being an entomologist .. obviously .. Egsy brings him out of his funk by reminding him he used to love his dog by bringing a lookalike puppy into the sort of padded cell .. pretty much 60 seconds later, Galahad is all better now .. but still inconveniently hallucinates butterflies under pressure when the team needs him for the rest of the film ..

And there was that cowboy exchange visit hero with the laser lasso and Jeff Bridges was there boss !! and ..and ..

Meanwhile, whatsherface who played Clarice in Silence of the Lambs 2, Julliane Moore is apparently the woman who controls the entire illegal drug industry of the world and has built a single street '50's street to conduct her business from in a secret island location that's equally hurriedly explained away as .. I can't even remember why or care at this point ... but then Elton John appears. Yes. Elton John. He's a junkie you see under her control but if he tries to escape? ... well, the cyborg robot dogs will get him of course .. even Clarice 2 was camping it up at this point, I can see why Michael Cain declined any involvement in this sequel ..

I didn't bother watching after the scenes where our hero Egsy goes undercover to Glastonbury Rock Festival (that looked absolutely nothing like Glastonbury Rock Festival), phoned his girlfriend (who's a princess apparently) to ask permission if he could shag one of his targets for Great Britain ..

Seriously .. I'm not making any of this above stuff up, it was a massive slap in the face! ... did they get a 15 year old to write this? .... was this meant to be a self knowing indulgent parody of the first film like David Niven in the original Casino Royal? . 0/10

Now you know how I felt watching Prometheus.
 
The Mummy was god-awful. I think Russell Crowe's wholesale scenery-devouring should have taken the biscuit. Brian Blessed would have told him to calm down a bit.

Problem is, the storyline itself was actually quite well thought-out, and the effects were good. Had it either gone full-on knockabout like Van Helsing, or played dead straight with occasional black humour (either perfectly feasible with what they had) it would been much better all round.
 
I actually quite liked Russ, at least he was giving a performance, albeit a ridiculous one. Cruise was on obnoxious autopilot as if it was still the 80s. But my main problem was that it was a Mummy movie that wasn't a horror movie. It was an action movie pretending to be a horror movie, and cared absolutely nothing for the horror genre.
 
Not as bad as Mamma Mia but Kevin Smith's Yoga Hosers is dire .. OK, I'm not a Canadian teenage girl but I doubt even Canadian teenage girls liked it.

We start with Kevin Smith's daughter (Harley Quinn Smith) and Johnny Depp's daughter (Rosa Depp) rocking out in the back of a convenience store Scott Pilgrim style and the jokes fall flat, the 30 year old male drummer also being the girl's point of scorn. Every character seen from now on gets a 4chan type stats page as an introduction. They return to work behind the CLERKS style counter but they're no Randal and Dante. They're also obsessed with social media and glued to their phones and everyone says "aboot" instead of "about" ............. a LOT ............. in case we've forgotten it's all happening in Canada.

There's a 5 minute scene where the girls retrieve their confiscated phones from a cool principle that's quite funny.

Absolutely nothing makes any sense at all, from some token mention of a Nazi past in Canada, a weird little sausage men scene that rips off both GREMLINS and Army Of Darkness without bringing anything new ... and they hang out with a hippy yoga instructor who for some reason they revere (Justin Long) .. and Stan Lee gets another cameo as does Jason Mewes as does Smith's wife, Jen Swalbach .. Hayley whatshisface "I see dead people" gets a needless short scene and Johnny Depp play some sort of hard to explain character ... and the girls giggle inside their own injokes throught all of this.

I thought I was going to hate this before I watched it and I was right (and I didn't want to be), at least I can say I gave it a fair chance, I'm fairly sure Smith and Depp only made this to promote their daughters and because they had some sort of studio deal where they had to make a film or something so deliberately made a shit one ..

This is a pity. I'm a Smith fan as I know you are and I was looking forward to seeing this movie. Now I'll definitely watch it out of curiosity but if you didn't like it I doubt I will.
 
I actually quite liked Russ, at least he was giving a performance, albeit a ridiculous one. Cruise was on obnoxious autopilot as if it was still the 80s. But my main problem was that it was a Mummy movie that wasn't a horror movie. It was an action movie pretending to be a horror movie, and cared absolutely nothing for the horror genre.
Exactly - as I said it doesn't know what it is. Russell was the most watchable thing about it, and had they all maintained that pitch it would have been far better. The other issue with it is the sub-plot - Dr Jekyll and his secret band of agents - is so pronounced it's obviously being set up for sequels, presumably without Cruise (who I quite agree just plays the bloke he's been playing for the last 15 years. He can do it when he tries. Look at Rain Man, or A Few Good Men.) Totally agree about him being on auto-pilot. Cruise-control.
 
The Mummy was god-awful. I think Russell Crowe's wholesale scenery-devouring should have taken the biscuit. Brian Blessed would have told him to calm down a bit.

Problem is, the storyline itself was actually quite well thought-out, and the effects were good. Had it either gone full-on knockabout like Van Helsing, or played dead straight with occasional black humour (either perfectly feasible with what they had) it would been much better all round.

I thought it was rather funny. But I'm pretty sure not in the way it thought it was rather funny.
 
I thought (The Mummy) was rather funny. But I'm pretty sure not in the way it thought it was rather funny.
Spot on. I actually thoroughly enjoyed it, but that was as much for its intriguing terribleness as anything else. As I said, had it gone properly knockabout then Russell's performance wouldn't have stood out - had it played straight with occasional black humour ditto. But it tried to be both, and so achieved neither.
 
I've been seeing a few articles and think pieces about the Mario movie recently, then noticed it's a quarter of a century old (!) this year. Bob Hoskins said it was his worst film, but I still see fans of it popping up occasionally. Seems no matter how bad those gaming movies are, there's always someone who liked it, against all that is sane.
 
Hoo boy. Contender for the year's worst, if the trailer is anything to go by:

Remember Meet the Feebles? Imagine that from the actual Muppet puppeteers. And not funny.
 
Hoo boy. Contender for the year's worst, if the trailer is anything to go by:

Remember Meet the Feebles? Imagine that from the actual Muppet puppeteers. And not funny.
I laughted a little. Looks promising. I think they're working hard on making it a cult movie. Perhaps too hard.
 
I laughted a little. Looks promising. I think they're working hard on making it a cult movie. Perhaps too hard.
One can't "deliberately" make a cult movie. Your "cultists" are basically hipsters, and they won't bite if they smell a deliberate cult movie attempt.
 
I found the film 'Basquait' incredibly dreary to watch, a bio about the African american artist of the same name who mooches around art galleries while yuppies get over excited about his urban art .. he pouts, he does the full of wonderment face etc ... I'm surprised nobody's made a film called 'Emin' yet.
 
I found the film 'Basquait' incredibly dreary to watch, a bio about the African american artist of the same name who mooches around art galleries while yuppies get over excited about his urban art .. he pouts, he does the full of wonderment face etc ... I'm surprised nobody's made a film called 'Emin' yet.

I enjoyed it, maybe because I liked his art and also the Bowie involvement.
 
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