Would You Want To Meet Your Parents In The Afterlife ?

INT21

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Assume there is an Afterlife.

You throw off the Mortal Coil, and next thing you awake surrounded by your mother and father; who died fifty years before you.

Would you want this to happen ?

Particularly if they opened the conversation with something like 'Hi, Son. We have been watching your progress; and we have a few questions'.

INT21.
 

Kondoru

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Thats nothing.

My Dad had two wives, who both pre deceased him.

(Not at the same time, I might add)

And who both died waiting for DIY to be done.

I hope there is a Screwfix and B&Q in the afterlife...
 

AgProv

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hmm... I die and go into the afterlife presuming I can meet and interact with my parents.

Meanwhile they predeceased me and are in the afterlife trying to get facetime with my two sets of grandparents. Who are trying to catch the attention of my great-grandparents who in their turn are working hard on pinning down my great--great grandparents, who in turn are pursuing THEIR parents...

Unless somebody's keeping a very complicated appointments book I can see this creating difficulties!

Then again, the afterlife will be an excellent place to get the genealogy sorted out. i'm looking forward to finding out if (i) I am more than 1/16th Irish (still not enough to get a bloody passport, apparently) and (ii) if there IS any truth in the rumour that my generation are 1/16th Jewish owing to an ancestor who married gentile.
 

IbisNibs

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I've mentioned Ophiel in these forums before. He wrote a bunch of DIY style occult books back in the 1960s and 70s. I actually met him in person, and he seemed like a very regular, ordinary person. I assume from what I saw and biographical details he mentioned in his books that he had grown up in a traditional meat and potatoes family and had struggled for a time, probably during the Great Depression.

Anyway, in one of his books (I forget which one, but it might be the one on how to do astral projection), he mentions meeting his father, who was deceased. He said his father was living in the same kind of house that he had when alive, held the same ideas, and didn't seem any wiser or enlightened for being dead. IIRC, it was a somewhat exasperating experience.
 

Yithian

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Anyway, in one of his books (I forget which one, but it might be the one on how to do astral projection), he mentions meeting his father, who was deceased. He said his father was living in the same kind of house that he had when alive, held the same ideas, and didn't seem any wiser or enlightened for being dead. IIRC, it was a somewhat exasperating experience.
I was about to post something wholly to the contrary.

Our answers to INT21's questions ought probably to hinge on the nature of this 'afterlife'; conspicuously, he did not write 'Heaven', for if he had, my answer an answer might be easier to reach.

If--and these are big 'ifs', I admit--if we are to suppose that the spirit is capable of surviving bodily death, and if such spirits are then gathered in some putative spiritual realm, one in which they are recognisably the same entities that formerly inhabited human bodies (and I don't say here physically recognisable), then I think it would be reasonable to suppose that their concomitant recognition of both the survival of the human spirit and the contingent and transitory nature of the living world, would inevitably change their outlook to a significant degree.

And who (while we are paddling in the waters of speculative cosmography) is to say that this is not one conception of 'Heaven' as an afterlife? Once released from the physical, mental and temporal shackles of the life incarnate and granted the knowledge that its eternal persistence is guaranteed and that all spirits share in this happy communion, would a spirit not become in some sense purified? (distilled!)

Such a process of enlightenment, in which one would be granted a vantage point from which to view the totality of all lives, lives fully lived, sub specie aeternitatis, would offer a chance not so much to shed our sins, but rather to realise the errors of judgment that led to suffering and conflict. We would see how many such errors resulted from the paucity of perspective that life from a single subjective viewpoint condemns us to: it would be the ultimate fusing of horizons.

The parents I should hope to meet, therefore, would not be those to whom I had bidden a sad farewell, but rather those who have since become the best that their spirits were capable of becoming once freed from the fetters and hardships of mortal life.
 

Ringo

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I was about to post something wholly to the contrary.

Our answers to INT21's questions ought probably to hinge on the nature of this 'afterlife'; conspicuously, he did not write 'Heaven', for if he had, my answer an answer might be easier to reach.

If--and these are big 'ifs', I admit--if we are to suppose that the spirit is capable of surviving bodily death, and if such spirits are then gathered in some putative spiritual realm, one in which they are recognisably the same entities that formerly inhabited human bodies (and I don't say here physically recognisable), then I think it would be reasonable to suppose that their concomitant recognition of both the survival of the human spirit and the contingent and transitory nature of the living world, would inevitably change their outlook to a significant degree.

And who (while we are paddling in the waters of speculative cosmography) is to say that this is not one conception of 'Heaven' as an afterlife? Once released from the physical, mental and temporal shackles of the life incarnate and granted the knowledge that its eternal persistence is guaranteed and that all spirits share in this happy communion, would a spirit not become in some sense purified? (distilled!)

Such a process of enlightenment, in which one would be granted a vantage point from which to view the totality of all lives, lives fully lived, sub specie aeternitatis, would offer a chance not so much to shed our sins, but rather to realise the errors of judgment that led to suffering and conflict. We would see how many such errors resulted from the paucity of perspective that life from a single subjective viewpoint condemns us to: it would be the ultimate fusing of horizons.

The parents I would hope to meet, therefore, would not be those to whom I had bidden a sad farewell, but rather those who have since become the best that their spirits were capable of becoming once freed from the fetters and hardships of mortal life.
This echoes my thoughts. If I were to meet my parents, freed of their sickly weak old bodies and no longer restrained by their lot in life, then I would hope they are a little more enlightened or at least, more universal. Imagine having to live eternity out as "you". Jesus - what a horrible thought. Maybe that is hell? Staying "you" for eternity while the others get to transcend and become one.
 

Yithian

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This echoes my thoughts. If I were to meet my parents, freed of their sickly weak old bodies and no longer restrained by their lot in life, then I would hope they are a little more enlightened or at least, more universal. Imagine having to live eternity out as "you". Jesus - what a horrible thought. Maybe that is hell? Staying "you" for eternity while the others get to transcend and become one.
Hell isn't even other people.

What's that Beckett play with the souls in purgatory trapped in pots?
 

EnolaGaia

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I have considerable problems accepting the implied scenario, but I'll play it as it's stated for my initial response ...

Assume there is an Afterlife.
You throw off the Mortal Coil, and next thing you awake surrounded by your mother and father; who died [some] years before you.
OK - I'll play along at face value, even though the version implied by the following questions isn't a version I'd support as a concept, much less welcome as an experience ...


Would you want this to happen ?
I tilt toward the negative ... Although I wouldn't mind encountering and communing with my parents (and / or other ancestors) on the other side, I'd be disappointed to learn the specific relationships none of us asked for when entering our past lives would organize or govern our afterlives as well.

Some of my strongest interpersonal bonds have been with the "family I made" (i.e., friends) above and beyond "the family that made me", and I'd hate to think my afterlife might be filtered or configured so as to prioritize the latter over the former.


Particularly if they opened the conversation with something like 'Hi, Son. We have been watching your progress; and we have a few questions'.
I would find this particularly negative if it extended beyond a one-time after-action FYI session / review of what had transpired in the mundane world since they'd departed. I'd hate to think my afterlife would be wasted relating and debating the life just departed.

I'd hate it even more to think my ancestors had some right to call me on the carpet in the afterlife. My parents' warrant of authority / primacy (such as it ever was) expired with their deaths. As far as I'm concerned we're all peers once we make it to the other side.

In any case, I'd more than amply made my peace with the parent who'd been a major source of stress as well as expressed my love and gratitude to the one who'd been the consistent source of stability and solace prior to their respective deaths. I've no loose ends left to tie up.

NOTE: Just to be clear ... My relationships with both parents were mutually respectful and loving. The attitudes expressed above aren't the result of any historical or emotional baggage.
 

Robbrent

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Are our attachments a purely human thing though, perhaps they are not on the soul level? I can see what the OP is saying and it's something I have pondered however I have come to the conclusion that the version of the afterlife as just a continuation of this life minus the hardships and the bills to be rather fanciful, however I am open to there being a world of illusion created by each person, i.e very religious people have their visions of heaven as celestial cities praising the lord all the day long (each to their own) and that's what they get until they realise it's a self created world, vikings get Valhalla, native Americans get the happy hunting grounds, and just as we can create very real people and experience in our dreams perhaps we can create our parents, all the evidence I have seen for the afterlife has led me to this conclusion because accounts are as varied as dreams are
 

INT21

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It appears that, generally speaking, most do not fancy the idea of meeting up with their parents again.

I certainly don't. Having been a less than perfect son I have no wish for them to keep reminding me of my failures when they were alive, nor commenting on the 'interesting' things I have done since they passed away. Particularly if it meant they had eternity to keep pressing their points. Let them answer to their own deceased parents.

I was rather hoping that should there be anything after this life it would be something in a completely different direction. Possibly with no memory of any previous existence.

Then should I be returned to Earth as, say, a rat, than I would not need to have anything but ratty thoughts.

Basically I would hope for something rather more cosmic.

And should it turn out to be 'The Void' well, at least I wouldn't be aware of it.

I think this is where people often go wrong. They seem to give the impression that when they die they will be aware they are dead. Highly unlikely.

But this is a Fortean forum, so I suppose anything is possible.

INT21.
 

Tempest63

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I've mentioned Ophiel in these forums before. He wrote a bunch of DIY style occult books back in the 1960s and 70s. I actually met him in person, and he seemed like a very regular, ordinary person. I assume from what I saw and biographical details he mentioned in his books that he had grown up in a traditional meat and potatoes family and had struggled for a time, probably during the Great Depression.

Anyway, in one of his books (I forget which one, but it might be the one on how to do astral projection), he mentions meeting his father, who was deceased. He said his father was living in the same kind of house that he had when alive, held the same ideas, and didn't seem any wiser or enlightened for being dead. IIRC, it was a somewhat exasperating experience.
I still have most of Ophiels “The Art and Practice of” books in paperback, purchased from The Atlantis Bookshop in the late 70’s, early eighties. There was also an occult website that let you download them electronically, along with all the classics, Crowley, Regardie, Fortune etc. I stored a load on an earlier iPad for perusing on the train in the morning.
I must see if I can track that website down and post a link.

Where did you meet Ophiel?

http://theatlantisbookshop.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlantis_Bookshop
 

INT21

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Of course I would want to meet them. And apologise profusely for being an arse.
And should they reply 'A bit late for that now, isn't it ?'. ?
 

EnolaGaia

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I was rather hoping that should there be anything after this life it would be something in a completely different direction. Possibly with no memory of any previous existence. ...
If (big "if" ... ) there's a persistent "soul" that continues after the physical body and life-bound "spirit" terminate, I find it easier to imagine this "soul" doesn't continue to carry the baggage / memories / taint of the last life through which it passed. A germinating seed doesn't know how it will be twisted or stressed during its coming life-manifestation as a tree. In a similar sense I don't think a residual soul-seed would necessarily know (display; whatever ... ) the incidental quirks acquired during its past person-manifestation.


Then should I be returned to Earth as, say, a rat, than I would not need to have anything but ratty thoughts. ...
The notion of recycling / reincarnation (i.e., "re-insertion into a meat vehicle") is one of the points that made me hesitant about answering the OP's questions as they were stated.

The notion of a persistent "soul" being recycled into a subsequent tour of duty seems (IMHO) to be the only process motif consistent with having a trans-lifetime "soul" in the first place.

If the persistent "soul" is recycled / reincarnated the place in which we'd find ourselves immediately post-death would be more akin to a massive airport departure terminal than an eternal park. In this sort of scenario I don't see any hope of locating, much less spending idle time with, the persistent "souls" of those who've preceded me through the veil - not even the pair most responsible for producing my last episode.
 

AnonyJoolz

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I seem to remember a similar question being asked in one of the new testament gospels - about a woman who had been married seven times and had been widowed each time - and the answer was quite pleasing: At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.

If there is an afterlife (and many Abrahamic religious traditions believe this will only be experienced after the big future resurrection event) then it seems fairly sensible that people won't be 'people' in terms of earthly personality and personal relationships any more.

Similarly, the traditions that include reincarnation or similar ideas does place emphasis on the soul rather than the earthly personality (although karma has a big role here, relating to what one did/didn't do whilst alive.)

Saying that, I'd love to be with grandparents again, all of them, and I am very lucky that I still have my bio. parents both alive.
 
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Cochise

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I don’t know what you posted to think that you were an arse. Anyone can act arsey but the person who recognises they may have said something along the arsey lines and apologises is never an arse.
My parents had come up the hard way. I - mainly for health reasons - was something of an academic, and ended up as a computer person. My poor old ma used to rile me with comments like ' Why don't you get a proper job like your brother' He was a bus driver. She never quite grasped what I did.

Now, no question, the world needs bus drivers, and I used to admire my brother's skill - he preferred late turns and was often the last bus back to the garage where I would go and pick him up - him slotting that bus into a gap literally inches wider than his bus was something i admired.
 
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INT21

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I don’t know what you posted to think that you were an arse. Anyone can act arsey but the person who recognises they may have said something along the arsey lines and apologises is never an arse.
I think he means for being an arse when they were around.
 

Cochise

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I think he means for being an arse when they were around.
Yes, that's what I meant I was an awkward and bolshie kid. But my parents always tried to do their best for me. But sometimes they were faced with situations that they struggled to cope with. As I say, I was - not continually, but not rarely either - an arse.
 

Sabresonic

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Are our attachments a purely human thing though, perhaps they are not on the soul level? I can see what the OP is saying and it's something I have pondered however I have come to the conclusion that the version of the afterlife as just a continuation of this life minus the hardships and the bills to be rather fanciful, however I am open to there being a world of illusion created by each person, i.e very religious people have their visions of heaven as celestial cities praising the lord all the day long (each to their own) and that's what they get until they realise it's a self created world, vikings get Valhalla, native Americans get the happy hunting grounds, and just as we can create very real people and experience in our dreams perhaps we can create our parents, all the evidence I have seen for the afterlife has led me to this conclusion because accounts are as varied as dreams are
So its the The olde Pub then ;)
 

Tempest63

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This my reply too. My mother is still alive though my father has been dead for almost as twice as long as I knew him. I think about him every day.
Same here, mum is 87 and I haven’t seen her for ages due to lockdown. Dad died in 85 when I was 22. I’m 57 now.
 

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My late father believed in reincarnation, particularly following the teachings of Edgar Cayce. (Yes, I know.)

Cayce taught that souls were often reborn in groups, whether as families or in friendship or as couples.

So Dad would expect to see the same faces around him in his next life, if not in between!

If I let myself think this way, I can see how certain people in my life might have been close to me in a previous one.

(Cayce is very interesting on this subject. Whether you believe him or not he has some cracking yarns.)

So maybe Dad will already be off on his next life trajectory by the time I'm ready to catch up with him.
 

Lord Lucan

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Same here, mum is 87 and I haven’t seen her for ages due to lockdown. Dad died in 85 when I was 22. I’m 57 now.
My mum is 85, my dad died in 85 when I was 20 and I'm now 55.
My parents were divorced and I have an older sister who'd already had children as I entered my teens. My father's life was consumed by work, but he spent his yearly time off taking me on holidays around the world. He'd ask me where I wanted to go to, and off we'd go each and every year of high school.
My very first overseas trip was to Disneyland. We had a great time together on our trips away. We saw some wonderful things, went to some interesting places and it opened my eyes to the wonders of the world and it's people. I'd love to relive the memories with him again.
 

JamesWhitehead

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Communicated from the spirit world by one who went on ahead . . .

Hello Mater, Hello Pater,
Here we are then, Late & Later,
How you find it? Entertaining?
Have you met God, incidentally, he's still reigning?

I was married, to a woman.
She introduced me to her coven.
You remember Mrs Melly?
Well I can't explain those punctures in her belly!

All the angels, have one higher,
They're ambitious, in the choir,
I am barely mezzo-sopranna,
But they're adjusting me tomorra with a spanna!

Now I don't want this to scare ya,
Corona Virus ain't Malaria!
But I got it off a nice lass
And she got it off three others in her vice-class.

Dearest Pater, darling Mater,
I'm a repentant masturbator!
If there's still issues, with those tissues,
Can we bin them and I'll catch up with you later!


Tune is Dance of the Whores, as Beecham used to introduce it. :evillaugh:
 

Tempest63

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My mum is 85, my dad died in 85 when I was 20 and I'm now 55.
My parents were divorced and I have an older sister who'd already had children as I entered my teens. My father's life was consumed by work, but he spent his yearly time off taking me on holidays around the world. He'd ask me where I wanted to go to, and off we'd go each and every year of high school.
My very first overseas trip was to Disneyland. We had a great time together on our trips away. We saw some wonderful things, went to some interesting places and it opened my eyes to the wonders of the world and it's people. I'd love to relive the memories with him again.
My old man was diagnosed with a brain tumour when he was 45, he underwent a massive operation which completely changed his character but was given only 5 months to live. He lasted 8 years, surpassing everything expected of him by the medical staff. But he was a different person; massive character change. So if there was the possibility to meet him in an afterlife it would be interesting to see which Dad I got. The pre or post op version.

As an aside, he moved to the UK from Ireland when he was 14 and had a faint accent after living 30 years in London. When he came out of the major brain operation he had the most pronounced Irish accent, to the point his voice would be unrecognisable over the phone.
 

Tempest63

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Same here, mum is 87 and I haven’t seen her for ages due to lockdown. Dad died in 85 when I was 22. I’m 57 now.
That was a “Senior Moment” he died in 87 and I was 24. About 6 weeks before my first daughter was born. I was gutted he never got to meet her or have a photo of the two of them together. But having her so soon after his passing helped heal the wounds.
 
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