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Dying Alone & Loners' Unnoticed Deaths

catseye said:
It would annoy the hell out of me to know that I 'had to' phone someone night and morning. As, no doubt, it would annoy the person having to be available to receive the calls. Maybe this works best if both parties are very elderly?

I was incredibly busy a few years ago and my eldest daughter put a message up on the group chat asking 'has anyone heard from Mum lately? She's not been online for a while.' Why it didn't occur to her to just message me to ask, I have no idea.
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It's the husband and wife combo who have conversations between themselves on facebook for us all to see that really annoy me.
 
catseye said:
It would annoy the hell out of me to know that I 'had to' phone someone night and morning.
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Indeed! My mother who lived in the same town as my sister used to ring her every night and every morning. I know my sister found it a real strain as she'd be rushing around getting her son ready for school and herself ready for work or cooking the evening meal.

Now I understand a quick check in everyday ... 'good morning I'm awake' type thing. But mum would insist on a long chat and never took any hints. She had neighbours nearby to chat to, a weekly craft club, and joint shopping trips with friends but still she insisted on this routine.

I don't know why my sister put up with it but she took it as some sort of karmic punishment for having always been my mums favourite (and oh boy she really was!).

I don't insist on daily calls from my sons as I know what it was like for my sister. My youngest who lives not too far away rings almost daily but if I didn't pick up or didn't ring him I'm not sure how long it would be before he became concerned and investigated as there could be lots of reasons why either of us is not answering the phone. Perhaps I should ask him?
 
Sollywos said:
Indeed! My mother who lived in the same town as my sister used to ring her every night and every morning. I know my sister found it a real strain as she'd be rushing around getting her son ready for school and herself ready for work or cooking the evening meal.

Now I understand a quick check in everyday ... 'good morning I'm awake' type thing. But mum would insist on a long chat and never took any hints. She had neighbours nearby to chat to, a weekly craft club, and joint shopping trips with friends but still she insisted on this routine.

I don't know why my sister put up with it but she took it as some sort of karmic punishment for having always been my mums favourite (and oh boy she really was!).

I don't insist on daily calls from my sons as I know what it was like for my sister. My youngest who lives not too far away rings almost daily but if I didn't pick up or didn't ring him I'm not sure how long it would be before he became concerned and investigated as there could be lots of reasons why either of us is not answering the phone. Perhaps I should ask him?
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I wouldn't mind texting every day, but actually phoning would be far too intrusive!
 
I had an old school friend who started drunk calling me decades after we left school. I mean steaming drunk calls around midnight on a Friday night. There wasn’t much I could do except try and figure out what was going on in his life. Turned out he had cancer and died a few year later. His funeral song was Cream’s ‘Sitting on Top of the World’.
 
catseye said:
I wouldn't mind texting every day, but actually phoning would be far too intrusive!
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This is why I'm toying with the idea of biting the bullet and getting one of them there fancy gadgets that everyone else seems to have. :) I'd no doubt be in better touch with my oldest son which would be a bonus as he's always so busy!
 
My brother just texted me to see what I am up to. I said "Nothing, why?". Apparently my mom thinks I've left the planet since she's told my brother that she has tried to call me several times and has had no answer.

I had a message from her a couple of nights ago, but had my phone off and only heard it after 11 pm so didn't call and then forgot. I looked at my phone calls and we just chatted Thursday.:dunno:

I called her Thursday and only spoke briefly to her as she HAD to watch the hockey game. She often cuts my calls short. I can't call her between 6 & 7 pm cuz it interrupts her weather report.:rofl:
 
I wonder if this 'duty call' expected by people has given rise to the scams where someone demands 'emergency' money on WhatsApp or whatever because their phone has been stolen "I'm using a friends phone to contact you!"
 
Another sad case.

A 61-year-old man who may have lain dead in his flat in Castletownbere in West Cork for almost six months was described as a “magical father and a treasured brother” at a service in the Island Crematorium in Ringaskiddy on Friday.

A file is to prepared for the Coroner’s Court following the discovery of the body of English-born screenwriter Mark Watters who was found dead in the hallway of his flat at the Courtyard complex in Castletownbere on May 8th last.

Maintenance staff had called to check on the flat.

A postmortem was subsequently carried out. However, there was no suggestion of foul play.

Investigating gardaí found an unopened Christmas card with a December 18th date stamp, suggesting the father of three possibly died sometime around the middle of that month.

Neighbours said that he was a private man who “kept himself to himself.” He had opted to become reclusive, with some locals believing he had left the area as he had not been seen for some time. ...

The live stream concluded with a recording of “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison. Samudra also sang a song he had written about his father at the service.

Mr Watters is survived by his son Samudra, daughter Grace and his three sisters. He was predeceased by his child Tiger, and his parents Maura and Gerald.

He is also missed by his nephew Joseph, brothers-in-law, aunt and uncle and Nilmini the mother of his children.

https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland...ths-remembered-as-magical-father-1626926.html
 
ramonmercado said:
Another sad case.

A 61-year-old man who may have lain dead in his flat in Castletownbere in West Cork for almost six months was described as a “magical father and a treasured brother” at a service in the Island Crematorium in Ringaskiddy on Friday.

A file is to prepared for the Coroner’s Court following the discovery of the body of English-born screenwriter Mark Watters who was found dead in the hallway of his flat at the Courtyard complex in Castletownbere on May 8th last.

Maintenance staff had called to check on the flat.

A postmortem was subsequently carried out. However, there was no suggestion of foul play.

Investigating gardaí found an unopened Christmas card with a December 18th date stamp, suggesting the father of three possibly died sometime around the middle of that month.

Neighbours said that he was a private man who “kept himself to himself.” He had opted to become reclusive, with some locals believing he had left the area as he had not been seen for some time. ...

The live stream concluded with a recording of “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison. Samudra also sang a song he had written about his father at the service.

Mr Watters is survived by his son Samudra, daughter Grace and his three sisters. He was predeceased by his child Tiger, and his parents Maura and Gerald.

He is also missed by his nephew Joseph, brothers-in-law, aunt and uncle and Nilmini the mother of his children.

https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland...ths-remembered-as-magical-father-1626926.html
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"Treasured" and "magical" but no one noticed he was dead for six months.
 
brownmane said:
"Treasured" and "magical" but no one noticed he was dead for six months.
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But he had opted to become reclusive. I'd guess a mental health problem that caused him to cut himself off from family. They might have treasured him, but if he chose to walk away and not let them know where he was... it's sad, but it happens.
 

Bodies of two women found at house in Nottingham ‘lay undiscovered’ for some time, police say​


The bodies of two women have been found inside a house in Nottingham.

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Nottinghamshire Police were called at 11.04am on Tuesday following concerns for the welfare of residents at the home in Hartley Road, Radford.

Police said they believed the bodies “had lain undiscovered for some time”.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/ukne...-time-police-say/ar-BB1mPFtO?ocid=socialshare

maximus otter
 
Another "extremely private" woman may have been dead for several years\

A woman in her 60s who is understood to have lain dead in a house at Brookfield Lawn in the Lough in Cork city for at least a year, if not considerably longer, has been named locally as Joyce O’Mahony.

Ms O’Mahony was predeceased by her father Dr Thomas J O’Mahony who had a very successful and large GP surgery in the Lough prior to his death in 2010. A highly respected man he was originally from Denroches Cross in Cork.

Her mother Patricia, who was known as Patsy, was known locally as a stylish, kind and musical person. She passed away in a nursing home in January 2021. It is believed that Joyce was still alive up to some time in 2022 based on a perusal of items in her home.

The body of the deceased lady was found on Tuesday afternoon after pest control services were called to a premises nearby. They then went to the semi detached house after they strongly suspected that the two storey property was the source of the vermin problem.

The pest control firm contacted the gardaí after the remains were found in the property. The area was sealed off and investigation was launched by gardaí.

It is understood that Ms O’Mahony was extremely private and had not been seen locally for several years. The garden is very overgrown and some neighbours were of the belief that she had left Ireland. A car was parked in the drive.

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/munster/arid-41400313.html
 
ramonmercado said:
Another "extremely private" woman may have been dead for several years\

A woman in her 60s who is understood to have lain dead in a house at Brookfield Lawn in the Lough in Cork city for at least a year, if not considerably longer, has been named locally as Joyce O’Mahony.

Ms O’Mahony was predeceased by her father Dr Thomas J O’Mahony who had a very successful and large GP surgery in the Lough prior to his death in 2010. A highly respected man he was originally from Denroches Cross in Cork.

Her mother Patricia, who was known as Patsy, was known locally as a stylish, kind and musical person. She passed away in a nursing home in January 2021. It is believed that Joyce was still alive up to some time in 2022 based on a perusal of items in her home.

The body of the deceased lady was found on Tuesday afternoon after pest control services were called to a premises nearby. They then went to the semi detached house after they strongly suspected that the two storey property was the source of the vermin problem.

The pest control firm contacted the gardaí after the remains were found in the property. The area was sealed off and investigation was launched by gardaí.

It is understood that Ms O’Mahony was extremely private and had not been seen locally for several years. The garden is very overgrown and some neighbours were of the belief that she had left Ireland. A car was parked in the drive.

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/munster/arid-41400313.html
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I'm not sure that the council here would bother investigating beyond the property they were called to.
Could be a private company (ie competent) though I suppose.
 
I was just wondering how even lone persons might not be found dead until a year later. I thought that if your bills haven't been paid, somebody might try to find you before this. However, I think that this might become a more prevalent occurrence. We now can set up bill payments to automatically be paid, as well as have income automatically deposited to bank accounts. If you have no personal interactions and therefore, no one misses your physical presence, this could go on interminably.
 
brownmane said:
I was just wondering how even lone persons might not be found dead until a year later. I thought that if your bills haven't been paid, somebody might try to find you before this. However, I think that this might become a more prevalent occurrence. We now can set up bill payments to automatically be paid, as well as have income automatically deposited to bank accounts. If you have no personal interactions and therefore, no one misses your physical presence, this could go on interminably.
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Even if you are an ‘extremely private’ person you would still have go out to go shopping for food or get food delivered. How can people living nearby not notice these things? Can you imagine how overgrown a garden would become after a couple of years? I don’t understand how it goes unnoticed.
 
Stillill said:
Even if you are an ‘extremely private’ person you would still have go out to go shopping for food or get food delivered. How can people living nearby not notice these things? Can you imagine how overgrown a garden would become after a couple of years? I don’t understand how it goes unnoticed.
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You are assuming that everyone lives in a house with maintenance required. Apartment buildings can be very impersonal places. Though even these spaces, you would think, someone would notice something :Givingup: (sadly we don't have an odiferous emoji)
 
brownmane said:
You are assuming that everyone lives in a house with maintenance required. Apartment buildings can be very impersonal places. Though even these spaces, you would think, someone would notice something :Givingup: (sadly we don't have an odiferous emoji)
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Yes I was wrongly assuming that. I was really thinking about where I live where we have gardens. I’m sure I would notice where I live. Plus my work as a postman makes me more aware of what’s going on as I have quite a few elderly customers who live alone. I often give some of them a knock if I haven’t seen them for a while.
 
ramonmercado said:
It is understood that Ms O’Mahony was extremely private and had not been seen locally for several years. The garden is very overgrown and some neighbours were of the belief that she had left Ireland. A car was parked in the drive.

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/munster/arid-41400313.html
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I can't understand how some neighbours came to the conclusion she had left Ireland. It is possible the lady had said she was going to do that but there again she was described as 'very private'.

I have an old lady who lives opposite me who is very private. Even after 16 years I still know nothing about her.
 
brownmane said:
I was just wondering how even lone persons might not be found dead until a year later. I thought that if your bills haven't been paid, somebody might try to find you before this. However, I think that this might become a more prevalent occurrence. We now can set up bill payments to automatically be paid, as well as have income automatically deposited to bank accounts. If you have no personal interactions and therefore, no one misses your physical presence, this could go on interminably.
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If your benefits (pension etc) are paid directly into your bank, and direct debits and other bills are paid directly out - everything is covered. I guess some bills might go unpaid if they were ad hoc, but how many ad hoc services are going to be used by the deceased? And pension will go on being paid unless services are notified of death - which is how all those fraud cases arise when someone keeps a dead relative's corpse in the freezer and carries on collecting their benefits.

Where my daughter lives in London, lots of the houses are multiple occupancy with nobody having sole use of the garden, so the garden becomes overgrown - her flat DOES have use of a very small garden but when I visited last summer this was reduced to the patio only because they didn't have time or inclination to garden.

So I think it can happen quite easily but depending on the occupant and area. If neighbours are young and generally keep their garden immaculate, alarm bells might ring much sooner than for an elderly recluse who hardly ever ventures out.
 
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