Human_84
Somewhat human
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Messages
- 1,330
Boonie Dogs
Mike Pulte says that boonie dogs couldn't have become so ugly by chance. It had to have been the result of a deliberate breeding program. Someone out there was selecting for ugly.
You can't get much uglier than a dog with no hair and teats longer than its legs. When they trot, the teats swing up and smack them on the sides with every step.
They are full of mange on the outside and hookworms on the inside. If you prick a boonie dog with a pin, it explodes in a shower of what looks like white noodles and gray dust: worms and their eggs. That's all they have inside. They certainly don't have any food inside.
Generally speaking, Guam would be better off without boonie dogs. They do serve one useful purpose, however: they are useful in turning up murder victims. Every once in awhile, someone finds a boonie dog gnawing on a human body part by the side of the back road to Andersen.
If you are foolish enough to jog or bicycle here on Guam (and these are truly high-risk behaviors here), you have to carry a big stick or a small rock hammer to fend off the dogs.
For awhile, Yigo Elementary School had a steady visitor in the person of a dog that the children had named "the butt dog." This animal had a large growth the size of a grapefruit under its tail. The children regarded the butt dog with fascinated horror and spent a lot of time speculating about the cause of its condition.
Such strange growths are common on boonie dogs. Some seem to have both testicles and teats, for example. Seeing boonie dogs with gangrenous body parts is commonplace. Once I saw one with the bones of its tail sticking out of the second half of its tail. The rest of the tail was gray and banded, like an armadillo tail.
People can and do adopt boonie dogs. Given proper care and feeding, their looks can be improved dramatically, but most of them would still make a reasonable showing in an ugly dog contest. A common dog type has a relatively normal-looking dog body on extremely short legs, with a huge head and enormous bat ears. These dogs are inevitably fat and female, with long pendulous teats that never have time to shrink between litters.
Source: http://www.heptune.com/Guamcrit.html#Boonie Dogs