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"How would Jesus drive?"

A

Anonymous

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This question is marketed as a bumper sticker I've seen at least once. What do you think the answer to this question is? Don't feel obligated to give a serious answer. It actually feels a bit silly to be typing this even though I'm not INTENDING it as a joke.
 
On the right hand and with the right of way, naturally. Need to keep an eye out for roman chariots and herod's police though...
 
I thought the Romans 'drove' on the left, leaving their (right)sword arms available to counter any nastiness from people on the other side of the road?

It was the revolting French :) who tried to reinvent everything (metric system, still with us, calendar reform, failed, and driving on the right, still in use in some places).
 
If he drove like those people who have ichthos stickers, I'd soon as not see :)

8¬)
 
And what sort of car would he drive? Would it have to be an amphibious vehicle so that he could drive on water?

I bet he'd thank people who gave him the right of way, though, not like many drivers I encounter!

Carole
 
I thought everyone knew God rides a Ducati:D

So heaven help the Volvo drivers who T-bone him then complain 'Didn't see you, mate'. Mind you, with the halo and all, it could be quite difficult not to notice him.

Unless the halo is on the inside of the helmet.....
 
My sister drives one of those huge 4WD thingies (she has to apparently because with two small children and the roads of suburbia to navigate, they're just necessary!). She also has a sign in the back saying "Young Person on Board". :(

I asked my Mum once if she was absolutely certain we were related (Sis and me, that is) and that, maybe, there could have been a mix-up in the hospital when Sis was born and she came home with the wrong baby...? She just sighed and looked away. ;)

Anyway, how would Jesus drive? Anyway he pleases I should imagine (no point being a demi-god (or whatever) otherwise!

Jane.
 
harlequin said:
I feel that Death should ride a Ducati... Such a nice noise....

8¬)
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Well, he would ride the Dark version, obviously....
 
Jesus would surely drive a tractor. Very slowly. Very, very slowly.

So that we might learn patience along the path.

We would also get a running commentary every time we passed the meek, the lillies in the fields, the lepers and those sick of the palsy.

Jesus would then get severly duffed up in some kind of road rage incident. And suggesting to the magistrate 'judge not, lest ye be judged' will not go down at all well once it all comes to court.

*Is it hot in here? Ahh, the flames of hell...*
 
He wouldn't rubberneck at accidents 'cos He'd already know what had happened.

Likewise, He'd have no need of traffic bulleteins on the radio.

But why would the Lord need a car? He is everywhere at once. No need to travel.

Late edit-

No doubt he'd have a Plastic Jesus-

http://www.honzman.com/sounds.htm
 
Helen said:
I thought everyone knew God rides a Ducati:D

So heaven help the Volvo drivers who T-bone him then complain 'Didn't see you, mate'. Mind you, with the halo and all, it could be quite difficult not to notice him.

Unless the halo is on the inside of the helmet.....
Click to expand...

S'funny, always thought God rode a Harley. Maybe He found it easier to cure duff electrics rather than cope with a half-ton vibrator!

And if the halo's inside the helmet, the helmet would be about 2-3 feet high - noticable, perhaps?

As for JC, would JC drive, or would it be public transport with the masses?
 
DerekH said:
S'funny, always thought God rode a Harley. Maybe He found it easier to cure duff electrics rather than cope with a half-ton vibrator!
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You know, I've never had a problem with the electrics. And the vibrations off a v-twin were just an added bonus!:D
 
JC rides a Harley wearing a leather peaked cap and aviator shades. I mean, he must; look at that hairstyle and that beard...
 
Well, God probably rides a Harley because He's the only one that can get it to corner.....

.....but for choice it would be a Ducati. Probably a Foggy rep....

..but hang on - Foggy is God! Case proven!
 
Surely, with his Dad being who he is, he would have a chaffeur-driven stretch limo, stuffed full of red-hot nuns and holy wine.......
 
Helen said:
Well, God probably rides a Harley because He's the only one that can get it to corner.....
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Eric Buell is God?

Is that why HD bought the company?

PS (And this might be longer than the post....:rolleyes: )

Maybe before your time - probably before your time :D -
Italian electrics packed in when the guy in the next street washed his car. Definition of Italian bike in the rain - parked. Mind you, Ducati claimed that the quickest route between two points was a curve, so they must have handled OK...
Japanese bikes had 'pigeon-shit' welding, didn't handle.
HD's shook themselves to bits.
Britain had a thriving bike industry, who were doing things 'right', and didn't have to worry about all those foreign chappies.....
Britain also had a thriving drip-tray industry.

PPS Still reckon the 'meek' JC would be on public transport - but a flash 'Dad's paying' type would probably have a personal helicopter, fleet of limo's, yacht, etc., so 'how would Jesus drive?' would still be pretty meaningless.
 
I remember those days too, Derek. In fact, the other half reckons my bike rusts for a hobby!

But the electrics are sorted now. Japanese and Ford bits.

These days - Suzuki have the smoothest gear boxes, Kwaks have very clunky ones, the build quality on Triumphs can leave a little to be desired, Ducatis still require special care and attention but are worth it, Hondas are, well, bullet proof but rather boring IMO, Yammies are better, Cagiva no longer exist after this year :( , and Matchless were supposed to be making a comeback.

Personally, I'd like a Brough Superior...

...cus then I can join the Lawrence of Arabia Crash Re-Enactment Society. I hear their numbers are dwindling.
 
Seeing as Jesus was probably black, I've never been convinced by the whole white boy image that his PR guys gave him back in the day...Unless he's Michael Jackson...Anyway I digress.
If Jesus is black lets face it he won't be driving anything too flashy around the roads of Britland. Mainly because the cops would pull him over, stop and search him, beat him, arrest him, beat him again, plant some drugs on him, beat him, take away his license and then beat him again before crucifying him and then arresting him for being dead in a public place.....
 
I thought he was middle Eastern . I reckon he would get around on his own ass .
 
Meanderer said:
Jesus drives a camper van
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Yeah and drives around solving mysteries with his pet dog....I would have gotten away with it to if it weren't for you pesky romans...
 
River_Styx said:
Yeah and drives around solving mysteries with his pet dog....I would have gotten away with it to if it weren't for you pesky romans...
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You mean Jesus is really Mr Barnsdale, who owns the haunted Fairground?

8¬)
 
we all know JC rode a motorbike...

But it was a TRIUMPH!

"Who is like you, a people saved by the LORD, the shield of your help, and the sword of your triumph!"
 
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