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The Cheque's In The CD Drive

M

mejane

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
Joined
Jan 17, 2002
Messages
1,368
I always assumed this was a just a funny tale told by techy people to illustrate the idiocy of us lesser mortals but...

I work part time in a call-centre, taking orders for a variety of mail order companies. As anyone who has ever worked with the great unwashed public will know, some of them require a little help when it comes to the difficult task of remembering why they called, what they want and most of all how they are going to pay.

We often play the "what type of card is that?" game (Q: how would you like to pay? A: on my card Q: what type of card is that (Visa, Mastercard, Amex ...)? A: a plastic one), but even I was surprised when a customer (yep, the classic trademarked Little Old Lady) tried to pay by cheque.

She claimed that she'd put it into the slot on the computer (presumably the CD or floppy drive) and was upset that we hadn't received it :rolleyes:

Jane.
 
:rofl: (or should that be, LOL at the LOL?)

She must be the grandmother of a girl who once called and said her internet wasn't working. As I worked through the troubleshooting steps with her, she suddenly said "Yeah, and Messenger isn't working either. Could that be caused by the same thing?" Yes, try convincing some gormless undergraduate that the Web is not the whole of the internet....
 
sounds familiar . . . :rolleyes:

me: how can I help?
customer: I've got a form
m: ok?
c: it's a form
m: right, what's on it? can I help you?
c: it's a form
m: *sound of head banging against desk*


the amount of people I've had querying something on letters the company has sent them is also worrying sometimes . . .

customer: it says to fill the form in and return it in the envelope provided, what do I do?
me: fill the form in and return it in the envelope provided
c: ah, right

nowadays I'll believe any customer phones tech desk and asks silly question story:rolleyes:

customer: have you got the number for my local branch
me: could I take your postcode please and I'll get that for you?
c: I'm in London
m: uh huh, your postcode?
:rolleyes:
 
jima said:
nowadays I'll believe any customer phones tech desk and asks silly question story:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

In that case, there's enough for you to believe HERE, for you to start your own religion.
 
I work in tech support for an ISP....and also my family :rolleyes: My granddad is quite proud of his 'silver surfer' status. He goes abroad quite a lot, either to visit people or go on holiday, and shortly after getting online he asked me:

"How do I change my email address? I need to get my emails when I'm abroad."

He thought it worked like the postal service.

Bless :)
 
I guess the people calling the help desk are the same ones that call directory assistance.

Caller: I'd like the number for Ed Baker.

Me: Thank you. What city is that in?

C: That's Ed Baker. B-A-K-E-R.

M:Yes. What town is Ed Baker in?

C: E-D B-A....

M: Please hold for the supervisor.
 
Ah, the good old days of tech support.

Customer: There's yellow writing all over the screen, it won't go away"
Me: Please peel off the protective sticker, Sir.

Me: What's your password, please?
Customer: My dog's name.
Me: And what is that, please?
Customer: My dog's name.
Me: Yes, but what is your dog's name?
Customer: The name of my dog, like.

Me: Please plug the device in at the mains.
Customer: I can't, I dont know how, can someone come and do it for me?
Me: I'm afraid we don't offer that service. It's easy to plug in, just do it like you would any electrical device.
Customer: I can't do it, someone will have to do it for me, oh God, I can't stand this (starts to cry.)

Me: What does it say on the screen?
Customer: Nothing.
Me: What, nothing at all?
Customer: No, nothing.
Me: So your screen is completely blank, no words on it at all?
Customer: No, there's nothing on it.
Me: Doesn't it say "Check user ID and Password?"
Customer: Yes, it says that.

Me: What would you like your new email adress to be?
Customer: [email protected].
Me: I'm sorry that name has already been taken.
Customer: It can't have, that's my name (throws hissy fit).
 
this afternoon, a customer called for the number to his local branch, I missed the name of the town he said:

me: which town is that again please sir?
him: mmmffmssh
me: sorry?
him: mmmffmssh
me: errr, can I take your postcode and I'll find it from that
him: it's in Essex
me: o . . . k, whereabouts in Essex?
him: yes, Essex
me: right, could I take your postcode please
him: (gives postcode)
me: ah, right, the number you need is (phone number)
him: let me get a pen
me: do you want me to transfer you?:rolleyes:
 
Oh Gawd! Get a pen. Why is it that people who call for a number don't have a writing implement and something to use it on? I'm under time constraints, and waiting for more than about 26 seconds just isn't going to happen. You'd be surprised at how long that is. We were slow tonight, sometimes as much as 30 seconds between calls. Damned near forever.

A kid called last week.

Kid: I want mumblemumblenattergromish. .
Me: I'm sorry, what listing did you want?

K: Mumblemumblenattergromish.

M: I'm sorry, I can't under you. Could you speak slower?

K: What?

M: Could you speak more slowly?

K: WHAT?

M: Slower, not so fast.

K: Nevermind!


I successfully resisted the temptation to tell him to get that d*ck out of his mouth and speak plainly.

Woman calls: Can I have LCCJ?

Me: That's LCCJ in Jacksonville?

W: Yes.

M: I'm sorry, there is no listing for LCCJ in Jacksonville.

W: It's the community college, Florida Community College.

M: Oh, FCCJ! one moment.

Wouldn't be so bad, but she agreed to the WRONG spelling.
 
Uugh, and the ones that would ring you up with a boiled sweet in their mouth, and you had to listen to their disgusting sucking, licking, slurping sounds (bit like my ex.)

Or you'd answer the call and theyd say Scnhch, jshhth dncnd aarmafth snnnnwsssh", which would transalate as "sorry, I've just taken a bite of a sandwich". Why? you phoned me up, you expected an answer, why not delay stuffing your face for two minutes so I don't have to listen to you masticating in my ear :confused:
 
Apparently fluency (or even familiarity) with English is not a requirement for admission or employment at this university. :rolleyes:
 
Are we the only people that were taught that talking with your mouth full is rude? Heard the operator next to me say "Gee those chips sure sound good!" one day. She was tired of people crunching in her ear, I guess. IN the same vein, why do so many of the people calling for numbers for resturants and pizza delivery seem to have mouths full of food? I thought you called these palces when you wanted something to eat, not when you had something to eat.
 
Thestral said:
you had to listen to their disgusting sucking, licking, slurping sounds (bit like my ex.)
Click to expand...

Erm, Ahem? :D

One of the best ones I ever had was when working for a famous travel company and I had a guy ring up and preface the conversation with "Listen before you say anything I know my ticket isn't refundable".

Which was always the beginning of the worst calls as it usually ended with me feeling like an officious arse because we had to say no, but this guy took the wind out of my sails when he continued with "But my wife died unexpectedly this week, it was planned to be our last trip together."

"No problems at all sir" I began genuinely feeling for the guy "I've started the refund process, all you need to do is to send back the two outward and two return tickets that you have to the address on the back and...."

"Erm you don't understand, I just want a refund on my wife's tickets, I'm still going."

Needless to say there was a pregnant pause.......
 
:laughing:

Did he then ask to have his wife's ticket put into his secretary's name? ;)

Or maybe it was murder, with the joint trip as a smokescreen, which then turned into an bunk. :D
 
I can understand having a sandwich when phoning somewhere. Often when I'm phoning a company to get something sorted out (which largely seems to be a mobile network company, or various other companies where you're paying quite a lot for a service) you generally need to accept you're going to be on hold for up to 10 minutes. After about 10 minutes I've found their call systems just hang up without warning ;) Much like if you're going on a long journey, you need something like a packed lunch for such a phone call ;) Not that I do that. And when I am phoning such places, I also generally have a pen and paper ready to make notes, unless I have my PC nearby, when I use that. Them hearing the customer tap-tap on computer keys often makes them start behaving quite differently than before the tap-tap on computer keys, when they're the only tap-tap ones. ;)
 
Coworker blew a gasket the other night.

Co-worker: Directory Assistance, how may I help you?

Idiot Customer:

C: Directory, what city and state?

I:

C: Fine, don't talk to me!

I: Never mind!
 
I've been working at our University for several years, helping students with their computer problems...


Student: My computer doesn't work!

Me: *looking at the computer* Have you tried switching it on?

S: What?!

M: It's switched off, have you tried switching it on?

S: Where?

M: The big blue button there *points*

S: Oh... That one? *presses the little grey CD-ROM button* That doesn't work!

M: Ummm.... not that one, the big blue button I just pointed at....

:rolleyes:
 
People are very strange. Just today I had several who simply hung up when I asked a simple thing like "What city is that in?" Then there's the people who, when asked to spell a name, simply repeat it. I end up speaking slowly, and a bit louder, and emphasizing certain words (like "spell"). Treat them like the morons they are and it usually works.

The big thing today was hotels and home improvement store. Preparing for Hurricane Frances to come visit. Looking grim hereabout. People on the east coast all booking hotel rooms in the western part of the state, or else in Georgia.
 
Years ago I opened an account with an online bank. They only had one physical branch in the city. Otherwise everything was online transactions.

I had received some money (probably a birthday present or something) and needed to pay it into my account. A friend was visiting and I happened to mention that I had to go all the way into the city later that day to visit the bank.

"What for?" he asked. "Just pay it in online".
:conf2:
 
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