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The People's Choice for Ambassador to the Aliens

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Mighty_Emperor

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And the winner is:

Ozzy Osbourne to meet the aliens?

9.19AM, Sun Mar 21 2004


Rocker Ozzy Osbourne has been named the person most people would want to welcome aliens to planet Earth.

Osbourne beat Tony Blair and TV presenters Ant and Dec as the nation's favourite ambassador to meet visiting alien lifeforms.

The 55-year-old former Black Sabbath front man won 26 per cent of the vote.

The findings came from a poll of internet users carried out after signs of water were discovered on Mars.

US President George W Bush and glamour model Jordan got equal levels support - with just nine per cent of the votes.

Pop Idol judge Simon Cowell was the least popular with three per cent of the vote, while David and Victoria Beckham came seventh with six per cent.

News editor Gareth Bellamy said: "Ozzy is a great choice but I'm not sure what the Martians would make of his individual approach to the English language.

"Perhaps he could resort to the medium of music if all else failed and they didn't understand him."
Click to expand...

http://www.itv.com/news/1801732.html

Ozzy voted ambassador for aliens

(Filed: 21/03/2004)


Ozzy Osbourne has been named the nation's favourite ambassador to welcome aliens to planet earth.

The 55-year-old rocker has beaten Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, and presenters Ant and Dec as the face people want to represent them to alien life. The poll of 1,000 internet users was carried out following the discovery of signs of water on Mars.

George W Bush, US president, and glamour model Jordan came level in the Yahoo! News survey - with just nine per cent of the votes.

Ozzy, who has been recovering from a near fatal fall from his quad bike, won 26 per cent of the vote. Simon Cowell, the Pop Idol judge, came last on the list, with just three per cent of the vote, while David and Victoria Beckham came seventh with per cent.

A spokesman for Yahoo! News said: "As the world waits desperately for signs of alien life, we decided to ask our users who they thought was best suited for this most auspicious of roles.

"Ozzy is a great choice but I'm not sure what the Martians would make of his individual approach to the English language. Perhaps he could resort to the medium of music if all else failed and they didn't understand him."

The list in order of popularity is:

Ozzy Osbourne
Ant and Dec
Tony Blair
Jordan
George Bush
Prince Philip
David and Victoria Beckham
Johnny Vegas
The Darkness
Simon Cowell
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/mai...ml&sSheet=/portal/2004/03/21/ixportaltop.html

[edit: Other reports (with a breakdown of the voting):

http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=2677694

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/uk/newsid_3554000/3554945.stm

http://icbirmingham.icnetwork.co.uk...&headline=2004--a-space-ozzity-name_page.html

http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_897342.html ]

Words fail me but I suppose if you had to pick someone from that list it would have to be Johnny Vegas followed by Ozzy but any of them would encourage them to send in the Vogon Construction Fleet (and lets be honest even they'd be in a grey area).

It appears voting was poor for Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Kofi Annan.

Emps
 
Why Not Take The Diplomatic Mission to Them?

Let's not wait for them. I vote that we send "that nice MrTony Blair," as our roving Ambassador, to Alpha Centauri, just in case there's anybody there.

Let's send him ASAP!

We could send him in a plutonium powered, Electrolux chest freezer, packing an ion drive and a couple of square kilometers of gold coated, mylar, solar sail.

With a bit of luck, he'd get there just before the plutonium was converted completely into lead.

His frozen smile would surely warm the hearts of our alien neighbours.

:D
 
A modest proposal

Why not send The shrub, Bo blair and Monobrow off on a bit of an adventure? Is there a three person version of a chest freezer? For these three geezers?
:rolleyes:
 
"Let's not wait for them. I vote that we send "that nice MrTony Blair," as our roving Ambassador, to Alpha Centauri, just in case there's anybody there."

I vote we send George Bush instead. Then maybe we can get a leader here who doesn't decide that it would be fun to play war with another country, only with REAL weapons, since he's an adult now and can do whatever he wants.
 
No!
Dubya and Bliar might pick a fight with the aliens. Then we'd be in trub.
 
hmmmm, Ozzy eh?

Aliens: We come in peace, take us to your leader
Ozzy: Awwight there, I think I must have been at the f***ing drugs again, oh f**k
Aliens: Pardon?
Ozzy: Sharon! there's some f***ing aliens in the f***ing kitchen

and so on . . .

"Perhaps he could resort to the medium of music if all else failed and they didn't understand him."
Click to expand...

only if we wanted to start an interplanetary war ;)
 
"No!
Dubya and Bliar might pick a fight with the aliens. Then we'd be in trub."

Yeah, but if we're lucky he might instead decide to control the space craft himself and crash into the moon only to be floating around in space for the rest of eternity.
 
Yeah, he can put all that National Guard training to good use, finally. :rolleyes:
 
For some reason after reading this the first name that popped into my head was that of Uri Geller. He could bend cutlery for them.
 
Yes, Uri Geller would be a good choice. He's already an alien.
 
The first name that popped into my head was Tom Green, but........I don't think that would be a good idea.
 
Speaking of Uri Geller, a while ago there was a bizarre news story floating around that he and Michael Jackson were planning to go up into space. Some reports even had them intending to visit the moon. I emailed Mr Geller (try it yourself - he really does reply!) asking him if there were any truth in the story, and he sent me back a rather cryptic reply stating "If you believe in yourself, anything is possible".

Uri would make a great ambassador, as unlike the other candidates he actually has previous experience of dealing with aliens (from the planet Hoova!)

Classic Uri Interview
 
He didn't tell you how he proposed to get to the moon?
 
Ozzy is a great choice. What if meeting these aliens is like the scene from 2001 where all the lights and patterns rush by. For Ozzy that would be like an average Wednesday.
 
Nope, we have to send Tom Baker to meet them. He's had a lot of experience with talking to aliens.
 
Mythopoeika said:
He didn't tell you how he proposed to get to the moon?
Click to expand...

This was around the same time that that American billionaire chap became the worlds first space tourist by hitching a ride with the Russians, so I think the assumption was that they would follow suit (with Mr Jackson footing the bill no doubt). Unless Uri was simply planning to use the power of his mind.

I found an old Yahoo News Article about the rumours.

I've also found a rather odd little interview in which Uri discusses aliens and reveals, amongst other things, that he has heard of "dragons that go back to the time of Nazi Germany." and that he recently hypnotised Michael Jackson "to cure an urge for peanut butter".

See: 10 Questions for Uri Geller
 
Uri would be a great choice.

We dont want to bore the aliens by sending someone normal, do we?
 
graylien said:
I've also found a rather odd little interview in which Uri discusses aliens and reveals, amongst other things, that he has heard of "dragons that go back to the time of Nazi Germany." and that he recently hypnotised Michael Jackson "to cure an urge for peanut butter".
Click to expand...

Aren't there other more important urges he should be curing in Michael Jackson?
 
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