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Absurd ghosts

lordmongrove

lordmongrove

Justified & Ancient
Joined
May 30, 2009
Messages
4,936
In a bit of a departure from my usual cryptozoological pastures i'm collecting stories of absurd, silly or pointless ghosts. Has anyone got any stories of unscary, half arsed, oddball ghosts? The more deatails the better. I've already got ghost chickens, including an oven ready one, and a flaming phantom turkey.
Also does anyone know anty details about the plauge of phantom hats that appered during a polyergeist outbreak in Kilakee, Ireland in the 1960s.
Cheers Rich
 
Oh yes, I have a book with some very weird, 'oddball' stories, all supposed to be true. Not exactly ghosts, but 'hauntings'.
 
Nothing here off the top of my head, but would you care to share the tale of the spook oven ready chicken? That sounds brill! :D
 
What book was it escargot1?
As for the phantom chicken, back in the mid 80s when i was a keeper at Twycross zoo, i heard from a number of people about a polt outbreat in a supermarket in Coalville, Liecstershire. Pools of what looked like human urine appered and an oven ready chicken was seen walking about.
 
an oven ready chicken was seen walking about.
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Now that is quite possibly the best ghost story I have ever heard in my life. Never mind your phantom headless carriage, your grey lady, or your spectral monk, I wanna see an oven ready Chicken flapping around the aisles at my local Tesco.


(Reminds me of the pop video for Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel :D )
 
I recall reading somewhere (in one of Jenny Randles' books I think) about a bloke who saw a mysteriously glowing cup and saucer float past his bed.

I LOVE the bag of soot! How did anyone even know it was soot, was it written on it?

When I was about 7 I was convinced the ghost of a small white dog visited my room and just sort of sat by the bed. OOoooeeeEEEEEeeeoooooOOOOO!
 
There are reports of several ghosts in the Tower, including, if I remember correctly, a headless bear. 8)
 
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There was a ghost bear that attacked a sentry. but it had a head.
 
Elliot O'Donnel had a story of a phantom sausage dog in one of his boks. A far cry from Black Shuck!
 
lordmongrove said:
Elliot O'Donnel had a story of a phantom sausage dog in one of his boks. A far cry from Black Shuck!
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I don't have the book to hand and it's a while since I read it, but I'm sure Elliott O'Donnel also has a story in "Ghosts Helpful and Harmful", about a ghostly grandfather clock that is supposed to roam menacingly around a garden somewhere (quite how a grandfather clock can roam I make no comment on) :D
 
After watching The Bubble, I'd have to add the alleged ghost of "Big Daddy" in York. Then again, I suppose that might be scary on some level.
 
You don't mean "Big Daddy" the 1970's wrestler who could knock the crap out f all these WWF nancy boys do you? I't would be great if there's a ghost of him! "Easy! Easy!"
 
BlackRiverFalls said:
Nothing here off the top of my head, but would you care to share the tale of the spook oven ready chicken? That sounds brill! :D
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I read a book a few years ago that mentioned a ghostly plucked chicken , it was in north London but cant remember any more details
 
lordmongrove said:
... i heard from a number of people about a polt outbreat in a supermarket in Coalville, Liecstershire. Pools of what looked like human urine appered and an oven ready chicken was seen walking about.
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Now if I was a polt, animating a chicken out of the chilled section would be right up my street. I'd see if I could make it moonwalk. I would also do the potato dance from Chaplins Gold Rush until people were sick of it.

Me I thought the haunting of an aircraft galley oven (see 'The Ghost of Flight 401' or similar) was a bit absurd. The flight deck fine, but an oven?? :?
 
As I recall, the oven was the bit that had been salvaged from the plane. Also, the stewardess was one the pilot manifesting knew. So the microwave wasn't so much haunted, as a convenient hook to get the attention of the person he knew on the plane - and, since he was delivering a warning, it isn't even absurd in the frequent haunting sense of "why would anybody want to do that?"

One of the funniest scenes in the (hilarious to gamers) movie: Gamers II: Heart of Dorkness involves casting "Raise Dead" on a roasting turkey, which proceeds to terrorize the party, kill the bard ("As if killing the bard impresses us!") again, peek around a corner, and give somebody the title of "dead turkey wrangler" in the credits.
 
There was a haunted purple MKIII Capri with 666 on its plate. That was pretty lame.
 
I thought the haunting of an aircraft galley oven (see 'The Ghost of Flight 401' or similar) was a bit absurd. The flight deck fine, but an oven??
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The 'haunted' bits of the plane, including some ovens, were apparently salvaged from the wrecked one. So it seems that any plane with a bit of the doomed one on board was susceptible to ghostly activity.

John G Fuller, who wrote the book, asserted that unlike most rumours, the tales told and re-told about the 401 ghosts were always about the one specific plane. The stories weren't about any other airline or plane.

I loved that book. Gave my last copy of it to my daughter to read on a long flight ;) and after she finished it, she passed it on to a close friend of David Niven's widow.* 8)

*not relevant, just a bit of pathetic name-dropping. :lol:
 
lordmongrove said:
You don't mean "Big Daddy" the 1970's wrestler who could knock the crap out f all these WWF nancy boys do you? I't would be great if there's a ghost of him! "Easy! Easy!"
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That was the one. I suppose I should check to make sure it was one of the true stories. Even if it wasn't, it's kind of an interesting idea.
 
oldrover said:
There was a haunted purple MKIII Capri with 666 on its plate. That was pretty lame.
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A purple mk 111 capri? omg! thats the scariest thing i have ever heard about! Where are the taste police when you need them?
 
Thank you PeniG I shall now have to spend hours searching for that movie, as I have too see it ....

Edit hehe its on YouTube. Oh too many memories lol
 
Ghosts for sale

New Zealand man tries to sell two ghosts on internet
A man in New Zealand is selling what he claims are two troublesome exorcised ghosts on an internet auction website.
By Paul Chapman in Wellington
Published: 6:30AM GMT 05 Mar 2010

He claims the ghosts, one of an old man and the other a young girl, were removed from his house by a spiritualist and are now captured in vials of holy water.

The seller, known only as Melvin S from Christchurch, says on the www.trademe.co.nz website that the spirits created havoc in his house before the exorcism, switching lights on and off, turning an electric kettle on, and terrifying the dog.

One spirit we believe is a man by the name of Les Graham, managed to track down a photo," Melvin S says on the website. "He died in the house in the 1920s.

"The other spirit came from when me and my partner stupidly did a Ouija board."

The second spirit is a little girl "who likes to move things", he said.

"Exorcist says she is very strong and if left will get stronger.

"We have had no activity since they were bottled on July 15, 2009, so I believe they are in the bottles."

He says the holy water has changed from clear to a blue colour since the spirits were bottled and "sort of puts them to sleep".

"To revive the spirit, I have been told that you pour into a little dish and let it evaporate into your house.

"I just want to get rid of them as they scare me. But someone might like these to play with."

He says the bottles are individually labelled.

Bidding has passed the NZ$1500 mark (£680).

The sale has turned into one of the auction website's most popular attractions, drawing more than 70,000 hits so far.

It has also provoked strong feelings from viewers, with one describing him as "absolutely sick" for selling someone's family members.

Another warns Melvin S he risks eternal damnation.

To a doubter, he said: "All I can go on is the fact that the activity in my house has since gone.

"The ghosts were messing with me to the point where I could not sleep or eat, so I really just want these gone."

One prospective buyer asks what would happen if he poured the contents into a shot glass and drank them.

"I don't know but you might have friends for life," Melvin S replies. "Multiple personalities might haunt you."

Another viewer wants to know if the "beverages" contain any dangerous additives.

But the most sardonic comment comes from the person who says: "I have two spirits in bottles at home.

"I think they are called Jim Beam and the other is Johnny Walker." :D

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... ernet.html
 
lordmongrove said:
I've already got ghost chickens, including an oven ready one, and a flaming phantom turkey.
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Would these count as poultrygeists?

Steve.
 
sjwk0 said:
lordmongrove said:
I've already got ghost chickens, including an oven ready one, and a flaming phantom turkey.
Click to expand...
Would these count as poultrygeists?

Steve.
Click to expand...
Poultrygeists are going cheep in asda!!!
 
In Christopher Isherwood's book about his parents' marriage, Kathleen and Frank, he talks about the haunting of his father's family's stately house, and how during their sojourn there his little brother Richard succeeded in having his room changed due to his fear of the "muzzy lady," a ghost in line with family stories.

In later life, however, Richard confided to Christopher that he had lied about his experience because he knew the adults would not take the truth seriously. He didn't see a woman at all. He saw a dressmaker's dummy - with the stand, the adjustable abstract torso, and the little knob head - jumping up and down.

To an adult hearing about it this is silly; to the small child eyewitness, it was terrifying.
 
PeniG said:
He saw a dressmaker's dummy - with the stand, the adjustable abstract torso, and the little knob head - jumping up and down.

To an adult hearing about it this is silly; to the small child eyewitness, it was terrifying.
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I'm an adult, and that sounds terrifying to me. A ghost of an intelligence is one thing, but when objects that we think of as inert start dancing around on their own...eeeeeeee :shock:
 
Wasn't sure you'd pullet off. ;)
 
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