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Anal Probing!

A

Anonymous

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Please pardon the subject matter, but I've been wondering about something for a couple months now. Simply put, where did the cliche of aliens performing anal probes on abductees come from? I figure I've read more about alien encounters than the average person, though of course way less than the average person on this board. My reading only includes lots of back issues of FT and the first six Fortean Studies books, but I don't really recall any serious mention of an encounter, or even a popular non-comedic fictional source, where the anal probe was a key feature. I've read of general medical-like examinations, needle-like probes being inserted into reproductive parts, and more "traditional" sexual encounters with aliens. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that it came into the public mind because being forced to submit to an anal probe is the most degrading of any medical-like examination to the average person, which makes it the most feared. Either that or just because it's funny. Especially when it happens to Cartman.

- Djinna
 
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Djinna said:
Simply put, where did the cliche of aliens performing anal probes on abductees come from
Click to expand...

Whitley Streiber describes one in Communion. I don't know of any earlier than that. Anyone else ?

His first directly recalled 'abduction' could fit reasonably well with a sleep paralysis episode & a dream going on in the background. We've all had dreams where some external noise or sensation has worked its way into the dream - like an alarm clock, or the sensation of needing to pee. Strieber says he suffered rectal discomfort & some bleeding afterwards. Is it possible he suffered some pain from a heammoroid or diverticulitis during a sleep paralysis incident ?
 
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I think it's become a cliche simply because the subject attracts some derision, and such 'humour' tends to revolve around the nether regions (when applied to men). When women are involved, needles being pushed into the navel are more common - this is what allegedly happened to Betty Hill.
 
As far as the anal probes go, the aliens could have developed an anal type communication. Perhaps they developed like dogs did hear on earth but became more advanced. There's alot of information to be obtained just by a sniff.
And just as humans try to talk to lower animals even though its obvious that the animal does not have the capacity to use our language these aliens are still 'bent' on using their way of communicating.
 
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Anal probing: it's got me really baffled.
What could they possibly hope to find in there apart from poo?

Mad theory 1
They're doing scientific tests to make sure we're not suffering from some awful disease (i.e. we're cattle).

Mad theory 2
The aliens want to take these people on a space journey that involves super acceleration. The probe is a kind of poo vacuum cleaner, which prevents smelly accidents while accelerating.

Mad theory 3
They're getting a perverse pleasure out of seeing people writhe.

Mad theory 4
That's how the aliens get their rocks off. The probe is an anal vibrator, used by the aliens for pleasure. They assume we get our kicks the same way.

Mad theory 5
They're using the probes to insert the implants or do maintenance on ones already there. A bit like swan-upping, whale-tagging etc.

Mad theory 6
It's a party trick, and you are the entertainment!
 
Djinna~ said:
Please pardon the subject matter, but I've been wondering about something for a couple months now. Simply put, where did the cliche of aliens performing anal probes on abductees come from?

[...] I'm starting to come to the conclusion that it came into the public mind because being forced to submit to an anal probe is the most degrading of any medical-like examination to the average person, which makes it the most feared.
Click to expand...

That's more or less my take on the matter. It says more about the semi-conscious fears of nervous hetrosexuals than it does about any putatitive extraterrestrials' penchant for botty-poking.

Aliens, Homosexuality, The Power (morally, intellectually, legally) of the Medical Doctor: all scary encounters with the 'other' to be sure...
 
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Since other people repeatedly bring up anal probing as a topic of conversation, I had a search for a thread - couldn't find one.

So, I'm starting a new thread dedicated to the subject of anal probing.

What is it? Why do the aliens (allegedly) do it? What do they hope to find up there, other than gut bacteria, methane and shit?

Anybody know of any recent cases?
 
One of my old house mates worked for a tech development company that specialised in medical equipment.

They were asked to produce an anal probe by the MoD.

The probe was to be used to measure heart rate, body temp and some other stuff I can't remember whilst some poor new Navy recruit was 'testing' a new wet suit designed to combat very cold temperatures.

The problem with using Navy recruits for this kind of testing is that they lie. In a false assumption that the test is of themselves rather than the equipment, they often say they are fine when they are not, putting themselves at serious risk. As such, the anal probe kinda cuts out the middleman.

Now I guess Aliens operate under a similar principal, in that by using an anal probe is eliminates the need to learn any of the Earth languages. Therefore, they too are cutting out the 'middle man'.
 
Cultjunky said:
One of my old house mates worked for a tech development company that specialised in medical equipment.

They were asked to produce an anal probe by the MoD.

The probe was to be used to measure heart rate, body temp and some other stuff I can't remember whilst some poor new Navy recruit was 'testing' a new wet suit designed to combat very cold temperatures.

The problem with using Navy recruits for this kind of testing is that they lie. In a false assumption that the test is of themselves rather than the equipment, they often say they are fine when they are not, putting themselves at serious risk. As such, the anal probe kinda cuts out the middleman.

Now I guess Aliens operate under a similar principal, in that by using an anal probe is eliminates the need to learn any of the Earth languages. Therefore, they too are cutting out the 'middle man'.
Click to expand...

Excellent answer and thank the stars you posted as my thoughts were..."Well there just perverts aren't they."
 
The most famous alien anal probe recipient is Whitley Streiber, which introduced it into the popular consciousness, but given that the second most famous recipient is Cartman from South Park it begs the question, was it just Whitley who was subjected to this treatment?

Other abductees claimed sperm or egg samples were taken, and that the aliens pushed needles into them as another kind of probe (?), but as far as sticking stuff up the fundament went, it appears to be rare. Either that or too embarrassing to admit to.

One entertaining thing came out of it, though, as summarised in this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUsOSfXYkkU

It had to be Christopher Walken, didn't it? Just wasn't weird enough on its own, obviously...
 
gncxx said:
The most famous alien anal probe recipient is Whitley Streiber, which introduced it into the popular consciousness, but given that the second most famous recipient is Cartman from South Park it begs the question, was it just Whitley who was subjected to this treatment?

Other abductees claimed sperm or egg samples were taken, and that the aliens pushed needles into them as another kind of probe (?), but as far as sticking stuff up the fundament went, it appears to be rare. Either that or too embarrassing to admit to.

One entertaining thing came out of it, though, as summarised in this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUsOSfXYkkU

It had to be Christopher Walken, didn't it? Just wasn't weird enough on its own, obviously...
Click to expand...

Nice one! Walken is the perfect actor for such a role...he even looks vaguely like Strieber.
Puzzling that Strieber didn't resist.
The film depicts the probe as coming out of a rather filthy-looking hole...ewww.
 
Just thinking about it, maybe the probe isn't a probe at all, but maybe a method of inserting a tracking device? Like the way we tag birds and other creatures?
 
Inserting a tracking device seems more likely to come from the insertion of needles that Gncxx mentioned.

No idea where I've got the following nugget from, the corners of my mind haven't seen much of Mr Sheen for a while :?

Wasn't being able to excrete a really significant step in evolution?

Could that have some bearing on the anal probe use? Assuming that there are aliens that have probed in such a manner.
 
Cultjunky said:
Inserting a tracking device seems more likely to come from the insertion of needles that Gncxx mentioned.

No idea where I've got the following nugget from, the corners of my mind haven't seen much of Mr Sheen for a while :?

Wasn't being able to excrete a really significant step in evolution?

Could that have some bearing on the anal probe use? Assuming that there are aliens that have probed in such a manner.
Click to expand...

That's an interesting point.
Maybe the aliens were a group of exobiologists demonstrating what the human digestive tract looks like (with a camera up the subject's arse)?
 
its also possible that some kind of drug is being administered

you cant vomit it back up,
it wont have to travel through the stomach(you dont have to figure out what the digestive system will do with it)
leaves no marks
is absorbed directly into the blood stream(ive read it allows a more direct path to the liver for any drug)
 
Interesting idea.
Isn't it easier to inject something?
 
Mythopoeika said:
Interesting idea.
Isn't it easier to inject something?
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it might be that

they are targeting the liver
really dont want to leave a mark
intending to be absorbed through the bowel as its going to be toxic to the intestine(not all drugs are best injected)
or maybe the probe is doing multiple jobs at the same time,why inject while your taking the temp etc?

a quick google shows lots of animal mutilations with liver interventions
 
It seems very low-tech. Then again, maybe it's being done for the sake of amusement...
 
Yeah. They fly millions of light years through space just to get a cheap laugh. Maybe it's part of an interstellar game show? :)
 
Mythopoeika said:
Yeah. They fly millions of light years through space just to get a cheap laugh. Maybe it's part of an interstellar game show? :)
Click to expand...

By Jove! you've rumbled them.
 
There was me wondering why my eyes had started watering - and then I realised that I was reading about anal probing in a post written by someone whose name is TinFinger. :shock:

Ouch. Must go and have a sit down...

Maybe not.
 
Cultjunky said:
... Wasn't being able to excrete a really significant step in evolution?

Could that have some bearing on the anal probe use? Assuming that there are aliens that have probed in such a manner.
Click to expand...

It would make sense that examination of an alien species (us, not them ...) would prioritize analysis of that species' biochemistry - particularly as it related to metabolism.

In the absence of a detailed knowledge of the alien species' physiology and metabolic functioning, a good starting point would be comparing metabolic 'input' and 'output' to survey the range of chemical transformations / transactions being accomplished in the overall metabolic process(es).

Obtaining data on the 'input' end could be accomplished by passive observation and / or sampling.

(For example - dispatch a pair of MIB's to the McDonald's drive-through to order one of everything on the menu ... ;) )

A more direct examination of individual specimens, however, would be necessary to check the metabolic 'output'.
 
This still doesn't answer the question about who apart from Whitley this has actually happened to. Not many claim it, I should think.
 
I don't have anything particularly useful to contribute to this discussion, but if anyone encounters any anal probing aliens can they possibly send them over to my house for Saturday night? :oops:
 
gncxx said:
This still doesn't answer the question about who apart from Whitley this has actually happened to. Not many claim it, I should think.
Click to expand...

Has anyone ever compiled an inventory of procedures claimed to have been performed during abductions?
 
EnolaGaia said:
gncxx said:
This still doesn't answer the question about who apart from Whitley this has actually happened to. Not many claim it, I should think.
Click to expand...

Has anyone ever compiled an inventory of procedures claimed to have been performed during abductions?
Click to expand...

Don't think so (though this is the internet, so it's a possibility) but when I used to read about such strangeness it was usually sperm and egg harvesting that went on, as well as sticking long needles in.

BRF, I think that's those rare party hard aliens you should be contacting. They're probably on the 'net too.
 
Just remember that the aliens are saving the anal probe for skeptics these days!:oops: Believers get to watch if we want when the grey overlords arrive en masse! Many will end up as alien street food after such an ordeal; impaled on skewers and dipped in Shoggoth sauce. Just remember I tried to warn you! :alien:
 
Isn’t there a more efficient and higher-developed form of proper scientific analysis than a rectal probe? And I am aware of anal-ysis.
 
Analogue Boy said:
Isn’t there a more efficient and higher-developed form of proper scientific analysis than a rectal probe? And I am aware of anal-ysis.
Click to expand...

There probably is, but what the hell, where is the fun in that.
 
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