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Beware of affairs

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Anonymous

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Has anyone heard of couples getting 'stuck' together during a spot of horizontal jogging? I ask because I used to heard these stories when I lived in Kenya years ago, and they usually involved illicit fun (ie affairs) and sometimes witchcraft (I kid you not).

They were usually a warning to a) stay away from married women. And b) stay away from married women from the Kamba tribe, who were believed to practice witchcraft.

However, I can't see how it could happen anyway? Surely the fear would cause the man to shrink to an escapable size! If you get my drift.

Anyone else heard of this?

Lutz
 
Many years ago I listened to a phone-in problem line on Essex Radio and a call came in from a couple who had been interrupted during a spell of love-making by the arrival of the girls parents downstairs...........in furtive whispers they explained that they were now locked together and what could they do.

The panel took it very seriously and suggested relaxing, thinking of something boring etc. etc. But I was suspicious, surely, as has been said when the gentlemen is interrupted he can escape.

I think it's a UL. It's got all the hall-marks, fear, sex, and humour...........
 
Not heard of human couples doing this but certain Websites
offer sage advice for those contemplating sex with canines!

Male dogs are said to have a kind of spur on their sex organs
which keeps them anchored to a female for about fifteen minutes
after coitus!

So the nightmare for some straying wives must be, "Quickly,
Rover, my husband is coming up the back passage to surprise
us. Ouch! That's torn it!" :eek:
 
Wasn't there a case where a husband had a heart attack just as he reached his climax and stuck that way - or was this an UL too?

When I was a student I can remember hearing piteous yelping outside my flat window and, looking outside, saw a small bitch locked firmly to a large dog, trying desperately to escape and dragging him along with her.

Carole
 
When I was at school there was a rumour that if you had sex underwater you locked together - of course I believed it though I couldn't work out how it could happen !
Dogs have a swelling that expands when they are inside the female which locks them though I think the internal structure of the female has a role as well - don't know if it would work with humans !
 
From memory, this is known as dog-knotting, and can indeed happen to humans :eek:

The female 'cramps', and the ensuing constriction on the male means blood can't escape from the afflicted part (ouch!), and they remain together until the cramps wear off...

IIRC, some cases require muscle relaxant to be injected into the afflicted area....

(A quick check on Snopes, and another quick Google haven't come up with anything, really...)
 
I seem to remember this happening in some Jackis Collins tome. Hollywood Wives/Husbands or whatever.

Seems possible in theory but never heard of it really.
I will ask around the A & E Dept next time I'm in there!
 
The guy having a heart attack...etc was used in the BBC sitcom "Waiting For God", where the story was related by the female protagonist.

I have heard about people getting stuck before, but in very cheap paperbacks of very cheap "true" stories. I heard it could be caused by both cramps, or a vacuum caused by the air being pushed out during the, um, intiation of such an exercise (Thinking of the younger posters here...). There is the recurring tale of people in an illicit embrace getting stuck though, which is the only context I have heard it in, so it may be all a UL.

Can any gaenacologists clear this up?
 
I consulted one of my wife's medical textbooks, and all I could come up with was that in some women the pubic bone is slightly out of line, and if she shifts position in mid, erm, stream, the bloke's member can get trapped, with the attendant cut off of blood supply Derek mentioned. She has to lie utterly flat and tilt her hips upward to allow release (and even then it doesn't always work - cue the syringe!!:eek!!!!:

More likely to happen on an uneven surface, apparently, as if they're in a dip it's more difficult for her to shift back onto the horizontal. Even an old mattress has potential for danger.

I'm off to Beds'R'Us... :p
 
So we gather that it can happen. But has it happened in real life, or is it an UL? All the cases (in newspapers or novels) seem to involve cheating partners, which makes it look more like a UL. First prize (a can of Diet Coke) to anyone who knows of it happening.
 
lutzman said:
So we gather that it can happen. But has it happened in real life, or is it an UL? All the cases (in newspapers or novels) seem to involve cheating partners, which makes it look more like a UL. First prize (a can of Diet Coke) to anyone who knows of it happening.
Click to expand...

I suspect UL, but there seems to be a scientific basis, which makes me wonder....

Several of my friends have stories, but (obviously) it never happened to them.......

:confused: :rolleyes:
 
I have had several partners who were nurses, and I got the impression that this does happen. It is supposed to be a caused by a sort of spasm in the female's Whatchamacallit Muscle.

(I'm fraid I can't remember the technical term at this time of night!)

Ah!

Vaginal sphincter is what I was trying to remember!
 
Theres ways of strengthing that muscle group, like while urinating stop and start and stop
and start. This also works with men, which helps control, well you know.:D :D
 
I'm sure there was an exammple of this in FT magazine years ago, i remember it was while i was at school and it caused many a giggle in physics class.

This version involved a bath full of water and some pump/syphon/vacuum theory, i'll let you do the math.

The issue number escapes me at the moment, but its in there somewhere. (issues 79..82 sound about the right timescale)

--kiel--
 
A friend of mine witnessed such an event. A couple (who were known to my friend) disappeared behind a lorry for a spot of standup illicit nookie when someone came stolling passed. The unfortunate couple had to be carried through a crowded fair on a stretcher much to the considerable amusement of my mate.
 
The exercises that you do to strenghten those muscles are generally called "kegel exercises". OB doctors recommend them to pregnant women because it helps during child birth, as they are the muscles used to "push" the baby out.
 
The problem is vaginismus. The state where it happens when penetrated is rare, but when it does happen it is painful for both parties and quite dangerous for the man.

Painful for the woman because it is essentially an extreme cramp.

Painful for the man for obvious reasons

Dangerous because the man cannot shrink the womans muscleture forms an "Arab Strap" stopping blood flowing out of the organ. Blood cannot flow so - gangrene. :eek!!!!:
 
This thread is enough to put you off for life.....

















... well, 10 minutes then. :rolleyes:
 
Ah, but Derek, the greatest pleasure is derived from where there is the greatest risk ;)
 
Going back to Jack Skellingtons heart attack scenario, i remember seeing a US sitcom called Nurses in which one of the doctors elderley father became a patient on his ward.
The old man was having it away when he had a heart attack and died. When he was told about it the doctor replied "i wanted to remember him as the old man on the porch, not the old man on the old woman"
 
Eeek, I've been given a copy of James Herbert's 'Otheres' which features this very scenario.

It's a very funny book too.........
 
in a slightly different scenario, my friend is a nurse and during a stint in A+E, a couple got brought in because a girl had caught her brace on a guys foreskin and got stuck! The story about the electric toothbrush is even better!
 
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