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Bring Back The Hierophant: Online Petition

graylien said:
I suppose it's too early to start a petition to get rid of him?
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Seconded. 'Tis naught but a pale imitation, I fear. And a rather tedious one to boot. :(
 
The first uttrance of The (nouvelle) Heirophant was a bit stunning. It wasn't the usual pick 'n' mix poke at Fortean nutters but a full page rant at one - and even then the victim seemed a bit vague and the effect a bit 'scattergun'.
The second Page-rant doesn't seem (to me) to be too rabid but still holds onto the new style; i.e. one subject, one diatribe.
I think we've seen the last of the gossip column-style of the Ancient One and the 'new' version where more pithy and cunningly accurate scorn can be stabbed into victims.

If you were to push me (I quote: "Oooh, yes, please!"), I'd say I prefer the 'old' Heirophant style but I'd consider giving the 'new' one a chance. After all, it's only been two months and he's still got to find a few 50p coins for the electricity meter.

Hold back on th' noose, boys. Let's give the varmint 'nough time to talk himsel' into a shallow grave!
 
chafes at the bit - well, it's got less calories you know....

I find reading his column akin to being stuck in the corner of a pub with the local Know-It-All who's eager to try out his new soapbox. I found his Princess Diana-tribe quite offensive, and I didn't even like the woman.

It's like Classic Coke and Diet Coke, innit? And we know which was best out of them....
 
Nooooooooo....!

Sorry for this late-ish posting, but I just got issue 209 today, and I have to say: Noooooooo!!!!!! This is not the Hierophant! The Hierophant was charming and witty and sly and Fun To Read. This is more like a Forum piece...oh, I do not like it at all, at all...please please please please bring him back!!!
 
Does the Hierophant actually get paid to write that drivel? If so, he must have the easiest job in journalism.

I'd rather read the Weekly World News. At least that's entertaining.
 
I'm almost impressed by the way the Hierophant took half a page of his column this month to express the simple statement "We get lots of weird letters". Does he get paid by the word?

Perhaps we could ditch the Hierophant and simply use his page to print the strangest letters the FT receives each month? I suspect they would be far more entertaining than his column. And probably better written.
 
Can we start a petition to get rid of the "Hierophant".?


Or alternatively get the original author back........


-
 
have to agree i liked the hirophant best when it was the gossip columb that took a swipe at chearletans and exreame excentrisity using the power of sarcasam. it's a bit of a waste to bring him back but neuter him at the same time maybe the denis leagal dept got a bit skittish and gave his reinstatement conditions :(
 
At the risk of upsetting the new author, I'll add my name to the list of naysayers. I actually think the column has got better each issue, or at least the writing has, but it still lacks the 'archness' of the old Hierophant and pursues a different line altogether. Perhaps it's not meant to, which is 'fairy nuff', but I preferred the more barbed than ranting egg-headed man.
 
I have always thought that the new, full-page H-phant seems to be all pastiche and no substance (and not in a good way)

I miss the pithier, more gossipy style of the old column - the new one has been sailing closer and still closer to self-parody (and self-indulgence?) each issue.

If the same writer is responsible for both versions I rather fear he has begun to believe in his own publicity.

Hopefully the finality of his Lovecraftian departure signifies a return to the basic recipe.
 
I'll echo the general sentiment of this thread by noting that the original Hierophant column was way, way better than its current incarnation.

As to Parthian's point about the same writer being responsible for both versions, I'd be astonished to learn that was the case. Unless (and this point was also raised by Oll Lewis a few postings back) Dennis Publishing's lawyers have him/her on an extremely short leash indeed.

( Mind you, after reading the "Winterval" editorial in FT218, I've wondered on more than one occasion if it's not our very own Dr Sutton who's writing it..... )

Whatever the truth, in my opinion this current monthly combination of narcissistic look-how-erudite-I-am drivel and "green ink brigade" opinion has long outstayed its welcome.

Here's hoping the tired Lovecraft pastiche tacked on to the end of "Why Post Modernism Is Crap" really does represent this column's mercy killing.

Brown
 
Heh, I quite enjoyed the juxtaposition of the rant on post-modernism with the continuing narrative of the Heirophant's fall from grace and possible devouring, but maybe that's just me. The bit about the readers liking the pictures raised a smile too. I'm all for a bit of wry irony.
I can see that some people might consider the column a bit of a waste of space, but I still find it entertaining, and more valid than the full page illustrations that seem to have multiplied in recent years. Plus it gives us something to gossip about even if there's not as much gossip actually in it as there used to be.
 
I have to admit, he's no longer as sharp and as witty as he used to be. Hierophant was always the first thing I read when I bought FT, now I leave it to the last thing as it is not as good as it used to be.
 
I definitely replied to this thread a few days ago but my post seems to have pixielated :roll:

Anyhow, I too think the Hierophant was great, and look forward to seeing the column return - or at least something similar. A curmudgeonly swipe at the fakers and the nutters of this world always cheered me up.
 
H was always at his best when he was sharp and witty. The Return Of Hierophant wasn't as good as his previous entries, but if he were to Return again, one hopes it is with his original style...
 
Bring back the real Heirophant. The recent incarnation was naught but a pale, shallow, imitation.
 
I agree with young Ravenstone -

Bring back the cynical yet amusingly optimistic mystic from the hidden halls of Lobsang ramped-up. The ersatz Heirophant the magazine employed for a while was a nasty, spiteful tit.
 
Well ... I mean ... y'know ...

Looks sheepish and aimlessly uses his toe to move the ashes of the bonfire while clasping the Webley revolver to his hip
 
They should definitely bring him back - provided it's the real one. He seemed such an amiable cove.
 
The original Heirophant was witty, scathing and yet not nasty. If anyone looks over the old FTs, the Heirophant was the chance for the editorial team to openly discuss gossip, rumours and - frankly - take the piss out of the latest tinfoil-hat wearing loon but be polite about it.

As far as my long association with the FT has occurred, the Heirophant acted as the FT's jester - where the FT had to (in fairness) report on wierdness and the wierd people involved, the Heirophant acted as the voice of, if not normality but of sense.
Thus, I'd like the Heirophant to emerge from his reclusive redoubt, wash away the pitiful attempts of the past imitations and continue his most wanted position in the FT!.
 
Stormkhan said:
The original Heirophant was witty, scathing and yet not nasty. If anyone looks over the old FTs, the Heirophant was the chance for the editorial team to openly discuss gossip, rumours and - frankly - take the piss out of the latest tinfoil-hat wearing loon but be polite about it.

As far as my long association with the FT has occurred, the Heirophant acted as the FT's jester - where the FT had to (in fairness) report on wierdness and the wierd people involved, the Heirophant acted as the voice of, if not normality but of sense.
...
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It was the, 'turn to first', page for me, back then.
 
Pietro_Mercurios said:
It was the, 'turn to first', page for me, back then.
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Yep, me too. I looked forward to it.

I've actually got about four copies of FT I haven't read yet. I've been somewhat behind with my reading, but I've gone from being someone who read it all, cover to cover, within about 24 hours of it hitting the mat, to someone who just puts it on the side and forgets about it 'til the next one arrives and makes me realise I haven't read any of them yet.
 
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