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Medium that fits all
Derek Acorah's packed up his 'ghost truck' and taken to the road to put his growing legion of fans in touch with the spirit world. A sceptical Sarah Dempster tries to stay on-message
Saturday October 29, 2005
The Guardian
On a blustery afternoon in an unsuspecting corner of Hertfordshire, Derek Acorah is preparing to battle the forces of darkness. He checks his armour. Is it in place? It is. An armada of sovereign rings bedeck his Liverpudlian fingers. His tiny feet are encased in patent loafers (black, naturally). He looks like the proprietor of a modest betting shop and speaks like a man with the engines of shrunken Ford Cortinas for lungs. Scared, Derek?
"Scared? No. Heheheh! There's nothing to worry about, love," he says, adjusting his shirt cuffs by the door of his trailer. "It's just people from up there [raises eyes ceilingwards] telling people from down here [lowers eyes carpet-tilewards] something nice. It's touching. It's moving. Believe me, if it was anything nasty, I'd be out of there like a shot. Heheheh!"
For those yet to come across this unequivocally unusual individual, an introduction is evidently in order. Derek Acorah, 55, is "Britain's finest professional spirit medium", a bluff clairaudient whose Brookside vowels and Matalan wardrobe have made him a uniquely accessible presence within the country's thriving psychic community. Thanks to his extraordinary appearances on Living TV's Most Haunted (highlights include Derek foaming at the mouth, Derek shouting on the floor and Derek lunging at co-host Yvette Fielding's cleavage while "possessed" by the spirit of a 17th-century idiot called Francis), news of his psychic proficiency has spread, to the extent that the former professional footballer (he was signed, as a nipper, by Bill Shankly) is now knocking on the burnished gates of the mainstream.
His latest venture is Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns, in which the slightly-built scouser visits Britain's most haunted provinces in a Vauxhall Zafira with co-hosts Danniella Westbrook and Angus "Cash In The Attic" Purden.
What's it all about, Derek? "We're taking the spiritual to the people," he says, between puffs on a cigarette. "There's a segment in the show called Doorstep Divinations, where I turn up at people's doors and channel important messages from the spirit world. That in itself is invaluable to people, y'know? It helps them feel more at peace and uplifts them."
What does channelling feel like? "When I'm channelling a benign, individual spirit it doesn't drain me. It feels absolutely OK". And how does it feel when that spirit is not so benign? He gazes out of the rain-spattered window. "Knackering," he says, eventually.
Not so long ago, such comments would've seen Derek branded a heretic and burned at the stake by men in buckled shoes. These days, however, it's all charity football matches, one-to-one celebrity readings and getting mobbed by housewives with pushchairs in Newport Pagnell (where, coincidentally, he will spend a significant chunk of a forthcoming episode of Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns, standing inside a telephone box in anticipation of inexplicable psychic phenomenon).
Whether this monumental shift in status is down to a gradual loosening of attitudes towards the supernatural (presumably concurrent with the fact that the only people in Britain who still go to church are the Archbishop of Canterbury and Aled Jones), a growing appreciation of the entertainment value of Derek's brand of psychic-centred showoffery or simply the decline of men in buckled shoes is not clear. What is clear is that Derek is a phenomenon. His books are bestsellers (his latest, Ghost Hunting With Derek Acorah, details the nation's paranormal hot-spots), his international tours attract countless gaggles of zealous fanatics ("I was shocked at how much they knew about me in New Zealand!") and Most Haunted - the series that transported him from nanoratings futility on the now-defunct Granada Breeze to the celestial plane of satellite significance that is Living TV - continues to scoop hitherto unimaginable nonterrestrial viewing figures (upwards of two million for the last edition of Most Haunted Live).
He drives a Triumph sports car. He wears a red and gold ring given to him by "a very kind, likeminded, kindred soul a number of years ago who is a celebrity". He's got a poodle called Jack. Life - or to be precise, the life presently enjoyed by the self-professedly ageless, constantly reincarnating entity that is currently known as Derek Acorah - is good.
And yet there is trouble in paradise. Critics have cast aspersions on his psychic abilities. They've guffawed at his numerous on-screen "possessions", huffed over the existence of Sam, his 2,000-year-old Ethiopian spirit guide ("What's that? His name's Dave? Thanks, Sam!") and waggled a copy of the Fraudulent Mediums Act 1951 under the nose of his stage show ("it is an insult to the intelligence of all concerned!" wrote spiritualist medium Thomas Alder). "I've nothing to hide", says Derek. "Hardly," crow the bods at badpsychics.com, who claim they have evidence which casts doubt on much of his material.
Even less edifying are the rumours that encircle Derek's decision to fly the Most Haunted coop, most of which point to a perceptible frostiness between the psychic and Yvette Fielding.
"I was frustrated with the structure of the programme," says Derek, sotto voce, before delivering a vehemently off-the-record tirade against "certain people involved with the show". (Suffice it to say that if the former Blue Peter presenter ever finds herself in the grounds of Derek's Southport mansion, she shouldn't expect to be invited in for a garibaldi). But Derek harbours no grudges. His ethos, he says, is to "try to turn the negative into a positive". Besides, he has two new co-hosts now, both of whom appear slightly better disposed towards the whole Derek thing than their predecessor.
For tonight's supernatural challenge, card-carrying believers Angus Purden ("it's more difficult to be a believer because you're constantly questioning everything"), Danniella Westbrook ("it's all amazing,") and Derek Acorah ("heheheh!") enter Royston, Hertfordshire's former police station, the site, apparently, of "persistent supernatural activity for many years". Derek immediately announces the presence of a miffed spirit called Jack. "This is his vortex," thunders Derek. "It stinks," sniffs Angus. One of the crew members claims he can smell whisky. Derek nods sagely. "He was an alcoholic." A mini-seance then takes place. Nothing happens. "Come on Jack, give us a bit of phenomena!" roars Derek. Suddenly, there's a breakthrough. The soundman's equipment goes bonkers. Then Angus claims he's been pushed. "JESUS CHRIST," shrieks the Scotsman. "AH'M NO STAYIN' IN HERE!
He storms out, raincoat a-flap. Interestingly, nobody seems disturbed, or even particularly surprised by the incident. Within minutes, Angus is chattering happily outside with the show's resident parapsychologist, while Derek is engaged in a phone conversation with the producer's mother ("yes Gladys, I enjoyed that investigation too ..."). "I was shitting myself," explains Angus, "but being exposed to that sort of thing every day makes you more open to it." Quite.
Next stop: Doorstep Divination, the perfect showcase for Derek's brand of self-help-based showmanship. Tonight's "lucky" recipient is one Leah Francombe. "Does the name Lily mean anything to you?" asks Derek, ensconsed on Leah's nice blue sofa. "Yes," gasps Leah. "She says to me you cried 12 years ago at her funeral, but, please, you've not to cry now," continues Derek. "Oh God," gulps Leah, before bursting into tears. Husband Peter looks shell-shocked. "Before," he confides later, "I thought he was a load of crap. But everything he said in there was true." And now? "I want to shake his hand."
Ultimately, it's difficult not to admire Derek Acorah, even if that admiration comes gift-wrapped in paper decorated with large fluorescent question marks and is directed almost entirely at the vast stores of chutzpah needed to convince the world - and possibly himself - that what he is doing is genuine. If it's guff, it's guff at its most entertaining. If it's authentic, his status as Spookiest Bloke Doing Things On The Telly That May Not Be Entirely Explainable Through The Usual Scientific Avenues seems assured. "I like people to make up their own minds about what I do," says Derek, buoyant as ever. "As I said, I've nothing to hide." He smiles inscrutably. "Justice will prevail".
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· Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns starts on Nov 7, 9pm, Living TV
www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/tvradio/sto ... 78,00.html
