Fortune cookie fortunes

[Philo_T]

I guess this topic is more pop-culture than Fortean, but I'm posting it anyway.

I've noticed a sad trend where the fortunes in my fortune cookie are in no way prognostictory in nature. Often, they're just some old maxim or a general statement about my person that seems like something someone doing a cold reading would throw out.

So, what's your fortune cookie say?

Mine today was:
"You may attend a party where strange customs prevail."

Following standard protocol and appending "in bed" when reading the fortune gives me reason for concern.

This one also has : six lucky numbers on the front, and a "learn Chinese" phrase on the back. Many inferior cookies are missing one or the other of these features. (Has anyone actually learned Chinese from fortune cookies? Have they then "gotten lucky" as a result? Actually, that sounds like a good quirk for a fictional hero -- along with sensual trombone playing.)

Oh, and the brand is "Golden Bowl", for the obsessive-compulsives out there.

 

[Anonymous]

the 'Singapore Sam' takeaway in Southampton (very authentic sounding) gives pathetic fortune cookies. Some of them have only got lucky numbers on, got a blank one once. Thought I was going to die...

 

[Anonymous]

I kept one that says:
"Keep in mind your most cherished dreams of the future."

Appallingly soppy, I know...

It also has lucky numbers and a "learn Chinese" phrase.

 

[Anonymous]

You will inherit a large sum of money

ummmmm.....not unless Bill Gates decides to adopt me

and the daily numbers/lotto Six #'s didn't work either! Bah

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Confucius say: (expletive)

Charity dinner for children mistakenly serves up naughty fortunes

Friday, February 10, 2006; Posted: 8:16 p.m. EST (01:16 GMT)


NEW YORK (AP) -- There is great embarrassment in your future.

A box of X-rated fortune cookies was mistakenly delivered to a fundraiser hosted by a Brooklyn politician.

The 350 cookies stuffed with "the most graphically lurid" fortunes got mixed up in a batch of 1,750 cookies ordered for the Chinese New Year event, Borough President Marty Markowitz said Friday. Some guests "were stunned, to say the least."

The annual event -- to raise money to send poor children to summer camp -- was attended by some 700 guests Tuesday evening, but only about 80 were still there when the dirty cookies were opened, Markowitz said.

The borough president was on the second floor of the two-level restaurant when a guest "yelled to me from the first floor: 'Marty, did you order these cookies? Did you see what's inside them? I think you better get your butt down here!' " Markowitz said.

Markowitz, who was not wearing his glasses, had the "fortunes" read to him by some of the guests.

"I'm sure they were meant for a raunchy bachelor party," he said. "They were not cutesy. Triple X to say the least."

He said his office had given the restaurant 10 slogans about Brooklyn to insert into the fortune cookies, and 1,400 were delivered correctly.

They contained such G-rated boosterisms as: "Brooklyn -- The 10th Planet," "Brooklyn -- it's more than a freak'in tree," and "Brooklyn -- it's like an everything bagel."

---------------
Copyright 2006 The Associated Press.

www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/10/naughty.cookies.ap/index.html

I think they were better off with the filthy ones

 

[OldTimeRadio]

My Strangest Fortune Cookie Message

The strangest fortune cookie prophecy I ever received, nearly 35 years ago, was "You will become a writer and go to Mexico."

When I received this prediction I was a hopeful but entirely amateur writer who'd never had any professional sales.

Moreover, the meal at which I received the above message was a dinner attended by two dozen of science fiction's brightest luminaries. I felt as happy as a clam just to be allowed to tag along. (That fortune, by the way, got passed clear around the table.)

Within the next year I had my first sales to paying magazines.

But I've never yet been to Mexico. Canada, yes, but not yet South of the Border.

 

[Sthenno]

I once had a fortune cookie which said "Help, I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory!"

 

[amester]

About 10 years ago my fortune cookie prophesied that I'd receive a diamond "the size of an egg" as a gift soon. I'm still waiting for my egg

 

[sonofajoiner]

My favourite cookie message ever was 'it's not fun unless its hard'. Truer words were never written.

 

[Mythopoeika]

My favourite cookie message ever was 'it's not fun unless its hard'. Truer words were never written.

I wonder what they mean by 'it'.

 

[Leaferne]

I don't. 8)