Funny And/Or Weird Happenings Whilst Drunk

PeteS

Seeking refuge
Joined
Dec 5, 2016
Messages
940
Likes
1,756
Points
134
#92
Why spill six or seven pints in the hope of getting two or three?

maximus otter
How do you know he only got 2 or 3? His mates were apparently involved as well. Sorry but it sounds like a stunt to me. Don't care how tall or small you are I doubt that you could unexpectedly fall from a standing position, do a full flip and land on your feet. Still a great stunt though.
 

IbisNibs

Life is like a box of paints.
Joined
Oct 30, 2016
Messages
393
Likes
900
Points
94
Location
The USA, for the moment.
#93
Geez! How did you people ever run an empire?
I've never been able to drink that much. That's why I still have both my legs.

I've made the same mistake (from Iceland). It had been recommended, but was absolutely revolting. Having to throw away 'food' stuck in my throat, although not as much as the kebab product.
Get a dog and you will never need to waste food again.
 

IbisNibs

Life is like a box of paints.
Joined
Oct 30, 2016
Messages
393
Likes
900
Points
94
Location
The USA, for the moment.
#94
You've brought this back to mind. I can date it from just after the first, 'Space Invaders' pub console, was released.


Local tavern had one and we all played it non-stop - to the extent, if I closed my eyes much later, could still vividly see a game unfolding.

So, all ended up at a party - about 20 of us - boys and girls - one night shortly afterwards and we self-ejected next morning, when realised pubs were now open again.

Alas, party had been held in a local, rural, community and there was only an, 'upmarket hotel', nearby.

Since it, understandably, didn't have our new, 'Space Invaders'... we decided to make our own game up.

Half of us played the Invaders, slowly stepping from left to right and back again, whilst raising arms up and down.

The other half had somehow acquired a significant supply of toilet rolls, which were being formulated into large paper balls and thrown at said, avoiding, Invaders.

Brilliant invention, best fun imaginal and went on for ages - teams swapping around.

Hotel manager appears, goes both absolutely ballistic & apoplectic - orders our good selves to leave instantly.

Couldn't see what all the fuss was about...

...until you did slightly notice the aftermath of our amusement...

...fair shout, the 11 acre, Dryburgh Abbey Hotel complex in nearby St Boswells, is renowned as one of Scotland's finest wedding venues.

Wedding party awaiting entry to the extremely, 'posh' lounge bar, can clearly view our exhilarated endeavors... yet, seem to be be somewhat horrified and alarmed...

...Hotel manager apparently experiencing some serious grief from clientele writing the cheque...
I live for posts like this. Thank you so much!
 

Dotty

Junior Acolyte
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
63
Likes
196
Points
34
#97
I might have posted this before, apologies if I have. Whe; I was working nights on a male surgical ward we had a patient who had undergone bilateral stripping of varicose veins that afternoon. About 9pm I went to check he was ok, he was very deeply asleep, I was a bit concerned as he had had a general anaesthetic, so I persisted until waking him until I got a response. He suddenly jumped out of bed, legs bandaged up, theatre gown still in place, bare bottom sticking out, and he started running ... halfway around the hospital up and down the old fashioned nightingale wards ladies wards included. I was running after him with little chance of catching him, the staff on the other wards were stood sort of open mouthed. Anyway he found his way back to his bed, got in it, never said a word and fell asleep. After I washed my hands I put the towel in the bin in his room and there were 8 empty cans of special brew in there. The next morning he was sat very carefully in his chair, with his feet up on the stool.
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
34,808
Likes
20,397
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
#98
I might have posted this before, apologies if I have. Whe; I was working nights on a male surgical ward we had a patient who had undergone bilateral stripping of varicose veins that afternoon. About 9pm I went to check he was ok, he was very deeply asleep, I was a bit concerned as he had had a general anaesthetic, so I persisted until waking him until I got a response. He suddenly jumped out of bed, legs bandaged up, theatre gown still in place, bare bottom sticking out, and he started running ... halfway around the hospital up and down the old fashioned nightingale wards ladies wards included. I was running after him with little chance of catching him, the staff on the other wards were stood sort of open mouthed. Anyway he found his way back to his bed, got in it, never said a word and fell asleep. After I washed my hands I put the towel in the bin in his room and there were 8 empty cans of special brew in there. The next morning he was sat very carefully in his chair, with his feet up on the stool.
He was possibly having a dream that involved running when you woke him.
 

Tempest63

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Dec 19, 2009
Messages
346
Likes
734
Points
99
#99
A close friend and his Dad used to run a very large pub in South London. The pub had a big floor area and, with a jukebox or TV on and a lot of background chatter, it could be quite noisy. The dad used to have a lock-in some nights with a couple of close friends that resulted in him sleeping on one of the soft benches rather than making the long way up stairs to bed.
Just as he dropped off one night he heard a voice from the other side of the bar saying “I am the black knight challenge me”, he apparently jumped up startled before giving it up as a dream, settled down and tried to drop back off. After a period of time he heard the same voice with the same challenge. He fair flew upstairs to his bed and spent a restless night with thoughts of ghost, ghoulies and things that go bump in the night.
Next day he cautiously questioned his son about such matters and eventually spilled the beans, said what he heard and stated that he thought the pub was haunted.
My friend explained that they had just changed a number of the pubs fruit machines, one of the new ones had a Black Knight theme. If the fruit machine went idle for a period of time it would let out the challenge “I am the black knight challenge me”.
His dad felt like a complete Berk!
 

Dick Turpin

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
221
Likes
668
Points
94
A close friend and his Dad used to run a very large pub in South London. The pub had a big floor area and, with a jukebox or TV on and a lot of background chatter, it could be quite noisy. The dad used to have a lock-in some nights with a couple of close friends that resulted in him sleeping on one of the soft benches rather than making the long way up stairs to bed.
Just as he dropped off one night he heard a voice from the other side of the bar saying “I am the black knight challenge me”, he apparently jumped up startled before giving it up as a dream, settled down and tried to drop back off. After a period of time he heard the same voice with the same challenge. He fair flew upstairs to his bed and spent a restless night with thoughts of ghost, ghoulies and things that go bump in the night.
Next day he cautiously questioned his son about such matters and eventually spilled the beans, said what he heard and stated that he thought the pub was haunted.
My friend explained that they had just changed a number of the pubs fruit machines, one of the new ones had a Black Knight theme. If the fruit machine went idle for a period of time it would let out the challenge “I am the black knight challenge me”.
His dad felt like a complete Berk!
Ha ha nice one
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
24,443
Likes
28,733
Points
284
A close friend and his Dad used to run a very large pub in South London. The pub had a big floor area and, with a jukebox or TV on and a lot of background chatter, it could be quite noisy. The dad used to have a lock-in some nights with a couple of close friends that resulted in him sleeping on one of the soft benches rather than making the long way up stairs to bed.
Just as he dropped off one night he heard a voice from the other side of the bar saying “I am the black knight challenge me”, he apparently jumped up startled before giving it up as a dream, settled down and tried to drop back off. After a period of time he heard the same voice with the same challenge. He fair flew upstairs to his bed and spent a restless night with thoughts of ghost, ghoulies and things that go bump in the night.
Next day he cautiously questioned his son about such matters and eventually spilled the beans, said what he heard and stated that he thought the pub was haunted.
My friend explained that they had just changed a number of the pubs fruit machines, one of the new ones had a Black Knight theme. If the fruit machine went idle for a period of time it would let out the challenge “I am the black knight challenge me”.
His dad felt like a complete Berk!
LOL brilliant ..
 

Ogdred Weary

Sooner than expected.
Joined
Apr 2, 2012
Messages
2,044
Likes
3,274
Points
159
I might have posted this before, apologies if I have. Whe; I was working nights on a male surgical ward we had a patient who had undergone bilateral stripping of varicose veins that afternoon. About 9pm I went to check he was ok, he was very deeply asleep, I was a bit concerned as he had had a general anaesthetic, so I persisted until waking him until I got a response. He suddenly jumped out of bed, legs bandaged up, theatre gown still in place, bare bottom sticking out, and he started running ... halfway around the hospital up and down the old fashioned nightingale wards ladies wards included. I was running after him with little chance of catching him, the staff on the other wards were stood sort of open mouthed. Anyway he found his way back to his bed, got in it, never said a word and fell asleep. After I washed my hands I put the towel in the bin in his room and there were 8 empty cans of special brew in there. The next morning he was sat very carefully in his chair, with his feet up on the stool.
So, the moral of the story is, special brew gives you super powers.
 

Vida Loca

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Feb 2, 2019
Messages
192
Likes
685
Points
93
Location
Somewhere...out there...
Back in the 80s I went out one night in a new jacket and trousers combo. White background with large black Chinese writing/characters all over it. At the end of the night we left the pubs behind and decided to have something to eat and so we went to a local Chinese Takeaway. That was when things began to get weird. The staff saw me and began jabbering away at each other and pointing at me yelling at me and pointing to the door. I felt freaked out. I left without ordering. It only dawned on me the next day that I had no idea what the meaning of the characters was and it could have been anything. I never wore it again I threw it away.
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
34,808
Likes
20,397
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
Back in the 80s I went out one night in a new jacket and trousers combo. White background with large black Chinese writing/characters all over it. At the end of the night we left the pubs behind and decided to have something to eat and so we went to a local Chinese Takeaway. That was when things began to get weird. The staff saw me and began jabbering away at each other and pointing at me yelling at me and pointing to the door. I felt freaked out. I left without ordering. It only dawned on me the next day that I had no idea what the meaning of the characters was and it could have been anything. I never wore it again I threw it away.
That was just ignorant of them to get so worked up about it. It might have helped if they'd explained.
 

IbisNibs

Life is like a box of paints.
Joined
Oct 30, 2016
Messages
393
Likes
900
Points
94
Location
The USA, for the moment.
Whe; I was working nights on a male surgical ward
This is completely off topic, but I find my self fascinated by the fact that, in your typo, a " ; " was substituted for the "n."

I put the towel in the bin in his room and there were 8 empty cans of special brew in there
Very special brew indeed! :beer:
 

Graylien

Justified and Ancient
Joined
Jul 31, 2004
Messages
4,434
Likes
3,099
Points
169
This did not happen to me. It happened to an acquaintance of mine who I was not especially close to. So it may be complete baloney.

At the time we were both living in a youth hostel. One night my acquaintance smoked some joints and drank some beer.

He claimed that a very evil looking dwarf spiralled up through the floor, stared into his face, laughed maliciously at him, then vanished into thin air.

On another occasion he claimed he heard an invisible coach and horses gallop through his room.

I personally did not experience any strange events at the hostel.

Although one night I took some magic mushrooms. When I went out into the corridor instead of appearing in its normal horizontal configuration, it appeared to be a steep vertical shaft. This made my trip to the bathroom unusually challenging.
 

blessmycottonsocks

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
2,960
Likes
4,166
Points
154
Location
Wessex and Mercia
This did not happen to me. It happened to an acquaintance of mine who I was not especially close to. So it may be complete baloney.

At the time we were both living in a youth hostel. One night my acquaintance smoked some joints and drank some beer.

He claimed that a very evil looking dwarf spiralled up through the floor, stared into his face, laughed maliciously at him, then vanished into thin air.

On another occasion he claimed he heard an invisible coach and horses gallop through his room.

I personally did not experience any strange events at the hostel.

Although one night I took some magic mushrooms. When I went out into the corridor instead of appearing in its normal horizontal configuration, it appeared to be a steep vertical shaft. This made my trip to the bathroom unusually challenging.
Reading that took me right back to my student days.
The one and only time I ate magic mushrooms, I had a vaguely similar experience. I was walking to the students' union bar and it felt as if the pavement were curling up in front of me. I had the impression that I was walking inside a huge hamster wheel!
Certainly an interesting experience, but I didn't think it was worth the nausea and stomach cramps that affected me for the following 24 hours.
 

CarlosTheDJ

Antediluvian
Joined
Feb 1, 2007
Messages
5,664
Likes
4,974
Points
244
Location
Sussex
We were out yesterday afternoon for a few ales, settled on a powerful craft brew called 'Dank Marvin' which had enough hops to floor Ozzy Osbourne. Long story short...there's a lemon cake in the kitchen and I have no idea how it got there.
 
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
47
Likes
140
Points
34
When I got very drunk i used to walk home on nights out via a railway line. One night i got very very drunk and fell off the top of a railway bridge i used to access said railway line. When i regained consciousness on the track, i didn't really check for injuries and so didn't realise i was drenched top to toe in blood. Not only did i scare the shit out of a passing train driver and his passengers, but further along the line i came face to face with a driver sitting reading a newspaper in his cab and i scared him so much he started the engine up and reversed up the line to get away from me. Being a goth probably didn't help much either, but it was the 80's.....
 
Last edited:

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
34,808
Likes
20,397
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
When I got very drunk i used to walk home on nights out via a railway line. One night i got very very drunk and fell off the top of a railway bridge i used to access said railway line. When i regained consciousness on the track, i didn't really check for injuries and so didn't realise i was drenched top to toe in blood. Not only did i scare the shit out of a passing train driver and his passengers, but further along the line i came face to face with a driver sitting reading a newspaper in his cab and i scared him so much he started the engine up and reversed up the line to get away from me. Being a goth probably didn't help much either, but it was the 80's.....
Whoa! I hope you got off to a hospital ASAP.
 
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
47
Likes
140
Points
34
heh. nope. In those drink fueled days it didn't occur to me to go to a hospital unless it hurt. This was a big bridge. 3 arch job with loads of lines underneath. To this day i've no idea how i survived - i guess being drunk and floppy i fell like a sack of spuds and didn't stick out my arms or legs in anticipation of an impact. Like i said, i didn't realise i'd cut the top of my head open and the only injury i recall at the time was a badly twisted ankle. When i did eventually hobble home, i nearly sh*t myself when i caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror and saw my completely blood covered face and drenched clothes. The thing i most remember is seeing the train driver throw his newspaper in the air and try and run through the back wall of the cab and me wondering what the hell his problem was:D
 
Last edited:

hunck

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jul 13, 2011
Messages
3,911
Likes
4,399
Points
159
Location
Hobbs End
When I got very drunk i used to walk home on nights out via a railway line. One night i got very very drunk and fell off the top of a railway bridge i used to access said railway line. When i regained consciousness on the track, i didn't really check for injuries and so didn't realise i was drenched top to toe in blood.
What was your normal way of accessing the railway line on less kamikaze nights?
 
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
47
Likes
140
Points
34
What was your normal way of accessing the railway line on less kamikaze nights?

well walking home on a live railway line is stupid (don't do it kids) but this was the late 80's and our railway lines were very much less busy back then. The line i used is now a very busy route to london but at the time was a very quiet commuter stub that closed up shop around about 10pm. In all my times going home this way i'd never seen a train but it was obviously being used later for some reason that weekend. I used to walk from the city centre after i missed the night bus after midnight to a small unmanned station and i just walked off the platform and home. Then they closed the station, so i found a bridge just past it and climbed down the embankment. One night i decided to walk across the top of the bridge wall to see if i could and........ i .couldn't
 

Lizard King

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Apr 16, 2019
Messages
187
Likes
427
Points
63
Back in the late nineties my brother and I travelled up to Edinburgh for a friend's stag do. A few of us booked into a really cheap hotel can't even remember it's name). It was so cheap it didn't have en suite. The bathroom was across the hall. My brother and I paired up in one room and some of our mates in other rooms. Obviously there was copious amounts of booze and at the end of the night went back to the hotel/guest house. During the night I had to go to the toilet which was a mission in it 's self. But I managed it and went back to sleep. I woke up in the morning with the sensation of my bum touching another bum.I slowly tuned round and expected to see my brother. Here lying, now wide awake was a bald man in his early sixties. I jumped out of bed and said"shit sorry mate, I must have got the wrong room after I went to the toilet" He looked at me and said"I don't think so I think it's me" at that I noticed my brother comatose on the floor. "You did get the wrong room mate, that's my brother on the floor" He jumped up all apologies"I'm really sorry pal, I had too many beers last night"I was so relieved I wasn't at fault I couldn't be annoyed."Its's all right no harm done"well I hoped!He sloped off just wearing his boxers and stopped at the door and said"I don't know what I'm going to say to the wife!" Best of all i'm 6'3 and the bed was tiny!Best of all my brother slept through it all, thankfully!
 
Top