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Historical Metal Prostheses and Replacement Body Parts

A

Anonymous

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In one of the many trivia books I devoured as a teenager I remember a piece of English royal trivia that said that one of the royal family once had a gold metal anus. This was a replacement for the existing one.

Before any wags respond it was not any of the royals from the last 2 centuries. And I don't know what physical condition would require a replacement anus. And lastly I realise it would be an "anus horribilis" - I'll get the pun in first.
 
That's new one on me!

But there was an astronomer, Tycho Brahe, I think, who had a silver nose, having lost the original in a duel.

I wonder if there'd be any electrolytic reaction if... No, better not even think about it...
 
I bet Edward II wished for a gold ring in his final moments.

And a passing fairy, too late to intervene, gave the gift to a
successor instead.

I had not heard this story before, though I did know of a cynical
old teacher who said of one particularly thick but attractive lad that
he was "too dense to know his arse was paved with gold"!
 
It sounds strange, even supposing that it was possible.

A metal anus, would sugest that the patient would have no anal sphincter, (i.e. no bowel control), effectively having a anal colostomy. And would be better treated by a colostomy to the abdominal wall.

The whole thing sounds like a joke about the 'upper classes', as in:- "The sun shines up his (or her) rectum".
 
Originally posted by James Whitehead
I bet Edward II wished for a gold ring in his final moments.


Or, at very least, an iron constitution!

On the plus side, a metal anus might come with all kinds of gizmo attachments like cake decorators' nozzles to cheer up one's Number Two sessions and impress party guests!
:D
 
Didn't George Washington have a wooden ear, knee or some other appendenge?
 
James Whitehead said:
I had not heard this story before, though I did know of a cynical
old teacher who said of one particularly thick but attractive lad that
he was "too dense to know his arse was paved with gold"!

Bloody hell, what school did you go to - "Jonathan King High"?
 
There is a tradition that the mathematician and magus? Pythagoras
had a bronze thigh. I don't know if thigh might be a euphemism
here as it is in the wounded King of the Parsifal legend.

There is a Biblical reference to one OT figure swearing an oath on
his thigh, which is now taken to mean testicles. This origin of
"testimony" has been queried.

Might look this up later but I'm expected down in town to get some
more metal in my mouth. Dentist! Not kissing a King's arse. :p
 
I'm the twisted thread-ressurector...!

rynner said:
That's new one on me!

But there was an astronomer, Tycho Brahe, I think, who had a silver nose, having lost the original in a duel.

Bored, and have been trawling through old threads in order to find one I could add my sixpenn'orth to. In this case, here's one of my potted histories of a strange character, which someone else who can be bothered to do research will no doubt correct in due course. Here goes:

Tycho Brahe was court astronomer to the king of Bohemia (now in the Czech Republic). He was an eccentric man who beileved himself to be exceptional at pretty much everything. While this was true for astronomy, at which he kicked ass, and found lots of stuff which supported then-radical but now commonly accepted ideas about space and that, it was not so true for duelling. His nose was indeed severed in a duel, and replaced (purely for vanity's sake) with a silver replica, which is visible in a contemporary portrait of him.
The nose apparently caused him great discomfort, and, due to the conductive properties of metal, would either heat up in direct sunlight, burning his face, or get very cold in mid-winter, causing unpleasant chafing, etc. However, he wore it all the time. He was that kinda guy.
His death is pretty well documented, too. As well as an astronomer and duellist, he fancied himself as a great epicure and gourmande, which resulted in him being (to use the rennaissance Bohemian term) a 'really fat biffer'. One fateful day, after having consumed a huge banquets-worth of food and wine, he attempted to get up from the table, presumably with the intent of relieving himself. However, as his weight shifted, his over-stretched baldder burst (ew...) inside him. He died mere days later of internal bleeding complicated by horrible blood poisoning and assumed renal faliure.
 
Re: I'm the twisted thread-ressurector...!

101 said:
His nose was indeed severed in a duel, and replaced (purely for vanity's sake) with a silver replica, which is visible in a contemporary portrait of him.
The nose apparently caused him great discomfort, and, due to the conductive properties of metal, would either heat up in direct sunlight, burning his face, or get very cold in mid-winter, causing unpleasant chafing, etc. However, he wore it all the time. He was that kinda guy.

indeed silver is probably THE worst metal for makeing such an apendage... its heavey for a start and it conducts heat better than any other metal.. hence "arctic silver" heat conducting grease for CPUs etc... for old bike fans (am i the only one here?) one desperate engineer specified Silver for the deeply shielded (from air flow) cylined head of the AJS "Porcupine" racer...he wasnt alowed to do it tho!
 
James Whitehead said:
I bet Edward II wished for a gold ring in his final moments.

And a passing fairy, too late to intervene, gave the gift to a
successor instead.


Apparently, this was discussed on telly last night, wish I'd seen it now.
Article.
 
James Whitehead said:
There is a tradition that the mathematician and magus? Pythagoras had a bronze thigh. I don't know if thigh might be a euphemism here as it is in the wounded King of the Parsifal legend.

Isn't that like the Steven Wright joke, "I met a man with wooden legs and real feet" ... ?
 
Re: Re: I'm the twisted thread-ressurector...!

sidecar_jon said:
indeed silver is probably THE worst metal for makeing such an apendage... its heavey for a start and it conducts heat better than any other metal.. hence "arctic silver" heat conducting grease for CPUs etc... for old bike fans (am i the only one here?) one desperate engineer specified Silver for the deeply shielded (from air flow) cylined head of the AJS "Porcupine" racer...he wasnt alowed to do it tho!

but <noble> metals such as gold and silver are supposed to give you no allergies (or less allergies than other metals), aren't they?
 
Re: Re: Re: I'm the twisted thread-ressurector...!

ginoide said:
but <noble> metals such as gold and silver are supposed to give you no allergies (or less allergies than other metals), aren't they?

its usualy nickel that causes alergies and silver has that in it as part of where it ocuurs (tho i think now the EEC has a new standard for jewlery silver with no Nickel in it).....it was probably used as its less alergy ridden than other metals tho at that time anyway. Copper goes green, tin sor of crystalizes , lead is too heavy...etc..
 
Metal Anus?

I think i have their second album. ;)
 
The Yithian said:
Metal Anus?

I think i have their second album. ;)

I have to say (being a big kid and all) that this thread made me laugh everythime I ran across it during the tidy up ;)

I mean I though one of the reasons for an anus was to close the lower end of one's intestinal tract over
 
Emperor said:
I mean I though one of the reasons for an anus was to close the lower end of one's intestinal tract over

Usually.

Saying that, a friend with an appalling diet and a seeming obsession with the resultant bad digestion has described his whole 'setup' as a drain pipe with a meat grinder near the bottom.

:shock:
 
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