A
Anonymous
Guest
For your delight, a selection of genuine articles and research of massive scientific importance.
> RAD SAUSAGES
> "Gamma Radurisation of Vienna Sausages," M.L Wessels, A. du
> Plessis, Food Ind. S. Afr., vol. 45, no. 6, 1992, pp. 14-15.
>
> REACH FOR THE SUN
> "Viagra makes flowers stand up straight," Judy Siegel-Itzkovich,
> British Medical Journal, vol. 319, no. 7205, July 31, 1999, p.
> 274A.
> The author reports that:
> 1 mg of the drug (compared with 50 mg in one pill taken
> by impotent men) in a solution was enough to prevent two
> vases of cut flowers from wilting for as much as a week
> longer than might be expected.
>
> ScandalOUS Spud STORY
> "Hot Potatoes in the Gray Literature," Brian Pon & Alan Meier,
> Recent Research in the Building Energy Analysis Group [Lawrence
> Berkeley Laboratory], no. 3, October 1993. The report explains
> that:
> Utilities generate numerous reports, technical memos,
> and evaluations which are never catalogued or published.
> [We] assessed this uncatalogued, or "gray," literature....
> One of the more interesting examples was a reference to
> electrical ignitors in new gas ovens. [Using that data, we
> discovered that modern] gas ovens use more electricity
> than microwaves to bake a single potato!
>
> THE ARGUMENT FOR SUBWAYS
> "Taxi rank malaria," D.N. Durrheim, British Medical Journal, vol.
> 311, no. 7018, December 2, 1995, p. 1507.
>
> FOR PRECISION DINING
> "The density of cream cheese" [article in German], K. Rambke and
> H. Konrad, Nahrung, vol. 16, no. 5, 1972, pp. 461-6.
>
> COMBINATION THERAPY
> "Effects of high-speed drill noise and gunfire on dentists'
> hearing," W.D. Ward and C.J. Holmberg, Journal of the American
> Dental Association, vol. 79, no. 6, December 1969, pp. 1383-7.
>
>
> SOMETHING TO CHEW ON
> "Cannibalism: ecology and evolution among diverse taxa", M.A.
> Elgar and B.J. Crespi (editors), Oxford University Press, 1992.
> On page 361 the paper gets right to the nub of the matter:
> "Cannibalism is a particularly antisocial form
> of behaviour".
>
> A FLOW FUNCTION
> "Beer consumption as a function of music and the presence of
> others," D.R. Drews, D.B. Vaughn, and A. Anfiteatro, "Journal of
> the Pennsylvania Academy of Science," vol. 65, no. 3, 1992, pp.
> 134-6. The authors determined that:
> "Both the presence of music and of drinking partners
> increased the length of stay and music increased
> the amount consumed."
>
> YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS
> "The stressful kiss: A biopsychosocial evaluation of the origins,
> evolution, and societal significance of vampirism," Donald R.
> Morse, "Stress Medicine," vol. 9, no. 3, 1993, pp. 181-9. The author
> explains his work thusly:
> "In addition to the mythological concepts, vampirism is
> considered scientifically. This includes the anatomical,
> physiological, and stress-related aspects of love-, vampire-, and
> lethal biting.... On the positive side, vampirism can provide
> temporary escape from the stressors of the 1990s; on the negative
> side is the sinister nature of engaging in ritualistic, cultic
> vampirism. The need is expressed for extensive psychological and
> physiological testing of modern day vampires to determine if there
> are psychological patterns that would predispose a person to
> becoming a 'vampire.'"
>
> RECYCLED PHILOSOPHY
> "Saving eliminativism," R. Bertolet, "Philosophical Psychology,"
> vol. 7, 1994, pp. 87-100.
>
> SWELL OLD SHEEP
> "Swelled Head in Merino Rams. An Unfinished Description of an
> Enquiry Into This Condition," S. Dodd, "Journal of the Royal
> Society of New South Wales," vol. 61, 1927, pp. 135-148. [Found
> among his papers after his death.]
>
> 1978: PRENTICE LOOKS AT THE BIG THREE
> "Imaginary Figures of Early Childhood: Santa Claus, Easter Bunny,
> and the Tooth Fairy," N.M. Prentice, M. Manosevitz, and L. Hubbs,
> "American Journal of Orthopsychiatry," October 1978, vol. 48, no.
> 4, pp. 618-28. The abstract reads in part:
> "The developmental progression of children's belief in three
> major figures of early childhood was examined... Belief in Santa
> Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy varied with the
> child's age and the level of parental encouragement of belief.
> However, belief in these figures was unrelated to other indices of
> the child's fantasy involvement."
>
> 1979: PRENTICE ZEROES IN ON SANTA
> "Children's Belief in Santa Claus: a developmental study of
> fantasy and causality," N.M. Prentice, L.K. Schmechel, and M.
> Manosevitz, "Journal of the American Academy of Child Psychiatry,"
> vol. 18, no. 4, Autumn 1979, pp. 658-67.
>
> 1994: PRENTICE PLUMBS THE VERY DEPTHS
> "Encounter With Reality: Children's Reactions on Discovering the
> Santa Claus Myth," C.J. Anderson and N.M. Prentice, "Child
> Psychiatry and Human Development," vol. 25, no. 2, Winter 1994,
> pp. 67-84. The abstract reads in part:
> "Children generally discovered the truth on their own at age
> seven. Children reported predominantly positive reactions on
> learning the truth. Parents, however, described themselves as
> predominantly sad in reaction to their child's discovery."
>
> 1996: NELMS POSES THE QUESTION, POINT BLANK
> "Santa Claus: Good or Bad for Children?," B.C. Nelms, "Journal of
> Pediatric Health Care," November/December 1996, vol. 10, no. 6,
> pp. 243-4.
>
> [In case you need more info, consult the researchers themselves:
> Norman M. Prentice, professor at the Department of Psychology of
> the University of Texas at Austin; and Bobbie Crew Nelms, editor
> of the Journal of Pediatric Health Care.]
>
> THE NOSE KNOWS
> "Forced single-nostril breathing and cognition," B. Sanders, C.
> Lattimore, K. Smith, and L. Dierker, "Perceptual and Motor
> Skills," vol. 79, 1994, pp. 1499-1506.
>
> BITTER END
> "The immobilization of all spermatozoa in vitro by bitter lemon
> drink and the effect of alkaline pH," P.U. Nwoha, "Contraception,"
> vol. 46, 1992, pp. 37-542.
>
> HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES
> "Fracture Testing of Cream Cracker Biscuits," T.R. Gromley,
> "Journal of Food Engineering," vol. 6, 1987, pp. 325-32.
>
> NATURAL IS BETTER
> "Natural sniffing gives optimum odor perception for humans," D.G.
> Laing, "Perception," vol. 12, 1983, pp. 99-117.
>
> ARTS & SCIENCES
> "Chemical Ornaments of Semen," Carlos Cordero, "Journal of
> Theoretical Biology," vol. 192, no. 4, June 21 1998, pp. 581-4.
>
> IN THE NURTURE OF THINGS?
> "Frequency of Pubic Hair Transfer During Sexual Intercourse," D.L.
> Exline, F.P. Smith, and S.G. Drexler, "Journal of Forensic
> Sciences," vol. 43, no. 3, 1998, pp. 505-8.
>
> NUMBER CRUNCHING
> "Fracture Force, Hardness and Brittleness in Crisp Bread, with a
> Generalized Regression Analysis approach to Instrument-Sensory
> Comparisons," Y. Andersson, B. Drake, et al., "Journal of Texture
> Studies," vol. 4, 1973, pp. 119-44.
>
> STROLLING IN STYLE
> "Leg movements of stick insects walking with five legs on a
> treadwheel and with one leg on a motor-driven belt. II. Leg
> coordination when step-frequencies differ from leg to leg," E.
> Foth, U. Bassler, Biological Cybernetics, vol. 51, no. 5, 1985,
> pp. 319-24.
>
> A WHIFF OF THE HEREAFTER
> "Fatal arrhythmia following deodorant inhalation: case report,"
> R.C. Kamm, Forensic Science, vol. 5, no. 1, February 1, 1975, pp.
> 91-3.
>
> HELP FOR PORE PEOPLE
> "A new approach to analysis of human sweating," M. Shimazu, T.
> Matsumoto, et al., "Experientia," vol. 52, no. 2, 1996, pp. 131-5.
>
> ALIMENTARY ANALYSES
> "Characteristics of the white sausage from the Las Cuatro Villas
> area: I. Production and Chemical composition," L. Tudela, R.
> Millan, E Sanjuan, M. Castelo, J.C. Penedo, J.M. Mangas, S.
> Estupinan, and A. Cordona, "Alimentaria," vol. 34, no. 271, 1996,
> pp. 51-6.
>
> BIRTH OF THE BIG BANG THEORY
> "Nitroglycerine to Facilitate Fetal Extraction During Cesearean
> Delivery," M. David, H. Halle, W. Lichtenegger, P. Sinha, and T.
> Zimmerman, "Obstetrics and Gynecology," vol. 91, no. 1, January
> 1998, pp. 119-24.
>
> THOUGHT FOR FOOD
> "How to be a Fig," D.H. Janzen, "Annual Review of Ecology and
> Systematics 10," 1979, pp. 13-51.
>
> IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING
> "Acoustic characteristics of less-masculine-sounding male speech,"
> Jack D. Avery and Julie M. Liss, "Journal of the Acoustical
> Society of America," vol. 99, no. 6, June 1996, pp. 3738-48.
>
> FOR BEAN COUNTERS
> "What to do with the bean from a patient's ear," R. Cranshaw,
> "Archives of Internal Medicine," vol. 131, no. 2, Feb. 1973, pp.
> 278-9.
>
> SCHOLARLY DISGUST
> "Categories of disgust: a factor analysis study, Karen Barker and
> Graham C.L. Davey, Cognitive Science Research Paper 471,
> University of Sussex, December 1997. (Thanks to Shimon Edelman for
> bringing this to our attention.) The abstract reads:
> "This paper describes two studies based on a factor analysis of
> disgusts. The results revealed that disgusts could be grouped into
> five categories representing foodstuffs of animal origin, human
> body and body products, invertebrate animals, gastro-enteric
> products and sexual practices. The factor structures for males and
> females and student and employed populations were comparable
> except for some minor differences, and females exhibited
> significantly higher disgust scores on all disgust categories
> except gastro-enteric products. Scores on all five categories were
> all highly inter-correlated and also significantly correlated with
> an independent measure of disgust sensitivity."
>
> "The Dielectric Properties of Apples in the Range 0.1 to 100 kHz,"
> F.X. Hart and W.H. Cole, "Journals of Materials Science," vol. 28,
> 1993, pp. 621-31.
>
> "Association between toenail selenium and risk of acute myocardial
> infarction in European men -- The EURAMIC study," A.F.M.
> Kardinaal, F.J. Kok, et al., "American Journal of Epidemiology,"
> vol. 145, no. 4, pp. 373-9, 1997.
>
> TACKLING COMPLEXITY
> "The effect of dexfenfluramine on eating habits in a Dutch
> ambulatory android overweight population with an overconsumption
> of snacks." M.L. Drent, et al., "International Journal of Obesity
> and Related Metabolic Disorders, vol. 19, no. 5, 1995, pp. 299-
> 304.
>
> BE PREPARED
> "Pre-copulatory ejaculation solves time constraints during
> copulations in marine iguanas," M. Wikelski and B. Eurle,
> "Proceedings of the Royal Society of London Series B (Biological
> Sciences)," vol. 263, no. 1369, 1996, pp. 439-44.
>
> "Induction of ear wiggling in the estrous female rat by
> gonadectomized rats treated with androgens and estrogens," J.T.M.
> Vreeburg and M.P. Ooms, "Hormones and Behavior," vol. 19, 1985,
> pp. 231-6.
>
> SPECIOUS FASHIONS
> "Survival of ring-necked pheasants with backpacks, necklaces and
> leg bands," V. Marcstroem, R.E. Kenward, and M. Karlbom, "Journal
> of Wildlife Management, vol. 53, no. 3, 1989, pp. 808-10.
>
> HIS MIDDLE NAME ISN'T DANGER
> "Risk Handbook," John C. Chicken, International Thomson Business
> Press, London, 1996.
>
> CHEESE WITH A BITE
> "Behavioural and electrophysiological responses of the female
> malaria mosquito Anopheles gambiae (Diptera: Culicidae) to
> Limburger cheese volatiles," "Bulletin of Entomological Research,"
> B.G.J. Knols, J.J.A. van Loon, A. Cork, R.D. Robinson, et al.,
> vol. 87, 1997, pp. 151-159. Leunissen reports that, "This article is
> very interesting (for me as a native Limburger, and lover of the
> cheese) in that the authors use Limburger cheese and its volatile
> extracts as an analogon for human foot odour, as they had
> concluded in a previous paper that A. gambiae attacked by
> preference at feet and ankles of a naked human volunteer."
>
> BARS AND STARS -- A MATTER OF INFLUENCE
> "The Influence of Bars on Nuclear Activity," Luis C. Ho, Alexei V.
> Filippenko, Wallace L. W. Sargent, to appear in "Astrophysical
> Journal." The preprint is available at
> http://xxx.lanl.gov/archive/astro-ph/
> The authors report that:
> "The presence of a bar seems to have no noticeable impact on the
> likelihood of a galaxy to host either nuclear star formation or an
> active galactic nuclei."
>
> SENSE AND SENSIBILITY
> "Effects of body weight on the taste of male and female rats," B.S.
> Roo, "Indian Journal of Pharmacology," vol. 28, no. 1, 1984, pp.
> 53-7.
>
> FOR THE BIRDS
> "Skylark optimal flight speeds for flying nowhere and somewhere,"
> A. Henderstrom and T. Alerstam, Behavioral Ecology., vol. 7, no.
> 2, 1996, pp. 121-6.
>
> MAD FOR THE MOVIES
> "Images of Madness in the Films of Walt Disney," Allen Beveridge,
> "Psychiatric Bulletin," vol. 20, 1966, pp. 618-620.
>
> INTELLECTUAL STATURE
> "Nerd Harassment, incentives, school priorities and learning,"
> John H. Bishop, "CAHRS [Cornell Center for Advanced Human
> Resources Studies] Working Papers," no. 96-09, [working paper #96-
> 10], 1996, pp. 43-45.
>
> NERVOUS NELLY'S KNUCKLE
> "Effect of Habitual Knuckle Cracking on Hand Function," J.
> Castellanos and D. Axelrod, "Annals of the Rheumatic Diseases,"
> vol. 49, no. 5, May, 1990, pp. 308-9.
>
> IMMINENTLY SLIPSHOD
> "The effect of gamma radiation on the ultrastructure of the peel
> of banana fruits," M.T. Smith, G.J. Strydom, and J. van Staden,
> "Environ. Exp. Bot.," v. 31, no. 1, 1991, pp. 43-9.
>
> "On journeys to the Moon by balloon," Walter Simon, "Classical
> Quantum Gravitation," vol. 10, 1993, pp. 177-181.
> The abstract reads in part:
> "We give inequalities for the equation of state of a
> static perfect fluid in Newton's theory and in an
> asymptotically flat spacetime in relativity which ensure
> finite extension of the fluid region. In the relativistic
> case, our condition is closely related to one which is
> known to imply, for given surface potential, uniqueness of
> the solution (when its existence is assumed). Our results
> cast doubts on reported early journeys to the Moon."
>
> "The self/nonself discrimination: reconstructing a cabbage from
> sauerkraut," M. Cohn, "Research in Immunology, " vol. 143, no. 3,
> Mar-Apr 1992, pp. 323-34.
>
> "Size matters when three-spined sticklebacks go to school," E.
> Ranta, K. Lindstrom and M. Peuhkuri, "Animal Behaviour," vol. 43,
> no. 1, 1992, p. 160 ff.
>
> "Should you brush your teeth on 6 November, 1984?", A. Wuffle,
> "Political Science," vol. 17, 1984, pp. 577-81.
>
> "Female gait patterns: the influences of footwear," R.W. Soames
> and A.A. Evans, Ergonomics, vol. 30, 1987, pp. 893-900.
>
> "Theoretical analysis of aggressive golf putts," J.F. Mahoney,
> "Res. Q. Exercise Sport," vol. 53, 1983, pp. 165-72.
>
> "Avalanche dynamics in a pile of rice," V.Frette, K.Christensen,
> P.Meakin, "Nature," vol. 379, no. 6560, p. 49.
>
> "Partitioning behavior and off-flavor thresholds in cookies from
> plastic packaging film printing ink compounds," G.W. Halek,
> "Journal of Food Science," vol. 53, no. 6, Nov. 1, 1988, p. 1806.
>
> "Retching: its causes and management in prosthetic practice," M.J.
> Faigenblum, "British Dental Journal," vol. 125, pp. 485-90.
>
> "Salivary Testosterone Levels in Left and Right Handed Adults,"
> S.D. Moffat, E. Hampson, "Neuropsychologia," vol. 34, no. 3, Mar.
> 4, 1996, pp. 225-33.
>
> "Reestablishment of male sexual function and appearance 23 years
> after alligator induced traumatic orchiectomy and penile
> lacerations," N.M. Katlowitz, A. Fliescher, A.E. Benet, "Journal
> of Urology," vol. 153, no. 6, Jun 1995, pp. 1929-30.
>
> "The Dielectric Spectra of Heated Potatoes." F.X. Hart and B.
> Bodakian, "Journal of Materials Science Letters," vol. 14, 1995,
> pp. 1214-1217. The authors report activation energies for
> conductance change upon heating potatoes in a microwave oven.
> They observe a surprising difference in dielectric spectra between
> potatoes heated to 95 degrees C and to 105 degrees C, and
> speculate that this might have something to do with the fact that
> the boiling point of water falls between these two temperatures.
>
> "Regional Shellfish Production and Training, 1985 Annual Report,"
> G.A. Heslinga, T.C. Watson and T. Isamu, Koror, Republic of
> Palau, 1985.
>
> "Dry sex in Zimbabwe and implications for condom use," D.Civic and
> D.Wilson, "Social Science and Medicine," vol. 42, no. 1, 1996.
>
> "Bungee running: a further report," M.E. Lovell and V.P. Bradley,
> "British Journal of Sports Medicine," vol. 29, no. 1, Mar. 1995,
> p. 12, 1995. The abstract reads:
>
> Further to the report from Queen Mary's NHS Trust on bungee
> running affecting children, we present three cases of injury
> in adults. Two cases of injury presented to Noble's (Isle of
> Man) Hospital and one to Whiston Hospital, Merseyside. In
> all three cases, the competitors were trying to stretch the
> 'bungee' to grasp a pint of beer as a prize, much enthusiasm
> being shown by spectators. All injuries occurred when the
> competitors were catapulted backwards with some force.
>
> "A study of the influence of ageing on the mechanical properties
> of Cheddar cheese," by M. N. Charalambides, J. G. Williams, and S.
> Chakrabarti, "Journal of Materials Science," vol. 30, 1995, pp.
> 3959-3967. This research appears to have been conducted
> completely independently from that of Banjamin Waggoner, whose
> study, "Evolutionary Relationships Among Cheeses," was published
> in "The Annals of Improbable Research," vol. 1, no. 3, May/Jun
> 1995.
>
> "Manhole Covers," by Mimi Melnick with photographs by Robert A
> Melnick, MIT Press, 1994.
>
> "Influence of sex on the short-term outcome of elderly patients
> with a first acute myocardial infarction," H. Bueno, M.T. Vidan,
> A. Almazan, J.L. Lopez-Sendon, and J.L. Delcan, "Circulation,"
> vol. 92, no. 5, 1995.
>
> "Ear preference in telephone listening," J. Seeman and W.
> Surwillo, "Perceptual and Motor Skills," vol. 65, 1987, pp. 803-9.
>
> "Do gastroenterologists themselves follow the American Cancer
> Society recommendations for colorectal cancer screening?" "The
> American Journal of Gastroenterology," 1994, vol. 89, no. 12, pp.
> 2184-7. It reads in part:
> "Currently, the ACS recommends a yearly digital rectal exam for
> persons age 40 and over and yearly fecal occult blood test and
> flexible proctosigmoidoscopy every 3 to 5 years for persons age 50
> and over... Though about two-thirds of gastroenterologists felt
> the ACS guidelines were adequate, only 38% strictly followed them
> themselves. Lack of time, inconvenience, and procrastination were
> the common reasons."
>
> "The use of a foam anesthesia donut for the positioning of a
> patient in the barber chair position", M.L Dvorkin and W. Bradley,
> "Orthopedics," 1995, vol.18, no.3, pp.277-278.
>
> WHEN LUCK STRIKES
> "Precautions when lightning strikes during the monsoon: the effect of
> ozone on condoms," by RF Baker, RP Sherwin, GS Bernstein, et al, "Journal
> of the American Medical Association," vol. 260, no. 10, 1988.
>
> CORK HAZARD
> "Met het oog op... de champagnekurk," J. E. E. Keunen and C. W. J.
> Storimans, "Ned Tijdschr Goneeskd," Vol. 138, no, 52, December 24, 1994,
> pp. 2594-6. Thanks to Peter Kootstra for bringing this to our attention.
> The article is in Dutch; here is the English abstract that accompanies
> it:
> "With an eye on...the champagne cork." Two patients, males of
> 31 and 15 years old, developed blunt injury in one eye, including
> hyphacma, due to a champagne cork. In one patient surgical
> evacuation was performed, the other recovered with drug therapy
> only. Inquiries in other opthalmic departments in the Netherlands
> indicate that this type of trauma seems to be more frequent at the
> turn of the year."
>
> "Sodefrin: A Female-Attracting Peptide Pheromone in Newt
> Cloacal Glands," by S. Kikuyama, F. Toyoda, Y. Ohmiya, K. Matsuda,
> S. Tanaka, H. Hyyashi, "Science," vol. 267, March 17, 1995, p.
> 1643.
>
> 2) ________ (1982) Painless jogging for 15,000 km after a
> lumbrosacral stabilization with screws and cement. Med. J. Aust.
> 1(9):389.
>
> 3) ________ (1993) Sudden death while lawnmowing. Med J. Aust.
> 158(3):216.
>
> "Cannabis in the Ear--the Legal Aspects," by S.R. Saeed, M.S.
> Timms, and T. J. Woolford, "Journal of Laryngology & Otology,"
> vol. 107, no. 10, 1993, p. 979.
>
> "Dissociation between the calcium-induced and voltage-driven
> motility in cochlear outer hair cells from the waltzing guinea
> pig," B. Canlon, B. and D. Dulon, "Journal of Cell Science," vol.
> 104, 1993, pp. 1137-1143.
>
> "Energy of the Closed Universe With Respect to the Gas of Clocks,"
> by N.N. Gorobey and A.S. Lukyanenko, "Classical and Quantum
> Gravity," vol. 10, no. 10, 1993, pp. 2107-2110.
>
> "The effects of chewing gum stick size and duration of chewing on
> salivary flow rate and sucrose and bicarbonate concentrations," M.
> Rosenhek, L. Macpherson, and C. Dawes, "Archives of Oral Biology,"
> vol. 38, no.10, Oct. 1993, pp. 885-891.
>
> "Synergistic activation of Ras and 14-3-3 protein of a mitogen
> activated protein kinase kinase kinase named Ras-dependant
> extracelluar signal regulated kinase kinase stimulator," by K.
> Shimizuet et al, "Journal of Biological Chemistry," vol. 269,
> 1994, p. 22917.
>
> "The deterioration and conservation of chocolate from museum
> collections," by Helen Cox, "Studies in Conservation," vol 38,
> 1993, pp. 217-223.
>
> "Measurement of the vibrational response of porcine lungs to low-
> frequency underwater sound", by Thomas N. Lewis, James S. Martin,
> and Peter H. Rogers, "Journal of the Acoustical Socciety of
> America, vol. 95, no. 5, Pt 2, p 2830.
>
> "Azoreductase Activity in Bacteria Associated with the Greening of
> Instant Chocolate Puddings," "Applied & Environmental Microbiology,"
> Vol.60,#8, pp.3027-3029.
>
> "Wavefront amplitude distribution in the female breast," by Qing
> Zhu and Bernard D. Steinberg, " Journal of the Acoustical Society
> of America," Vol. 96, No 1, July 1994.
>
> "Effects of egg yolk and glycerol levels in lactose-EDTA-EGG yolk
> extender on the motility of frozen-thawed stallion spermatazoa," by
> Cristanelli, M.J., Amann, R.P., Squires, E.L., and Pickett, B.W.,
> "Theriogenology," vol. 24, 1985, pp. 681-686.
>
> "The Dielectric Properties of Meat" by B. Bodakian and F. X. Hart,
> "IEEE Transactions on Dielectrics and Electrical Insulation", Vol.
> 1, No 2, April 1994. The abstract reads in part: "The
> permittivity and conductivity of beef and chicken samples were
> measured in the frequency range of 1 Hz to 1 MHz. Differences were
> observed in these dielectric spectra for commercially purchased,
> as compared to freshly slaughtered samples."
>
> "A Classification of Pure Malt Scotch Whiskies" by F. J. Lapointe
> and P. Legendre, "Applied Statistics", Vol. 43, No 1, pp. 237-257,
> 1994. The authors introduce their study thusly: "Single malts are
> well known by amateurs to differ widely in nose, colour, body,
> palate and finish. The layman interested in discovering the
> diversity of these tasting sensations may wonder how to approach
> the problem: what are the main types of single-malt Scotches, and
> in what way do they differ? This is the type of question that came
> to us after acquainting ourselves with single-malt whiskies during
> and after the 3rd Conference of the International Federation of
> Classification Societies held at Heriot-Watt University in
> Edingburgh, Scotland, in August 1991."
>
> "Identification of Gourmet Meat Using FINS (Forensically
> Informative Nucleotide Sequencing)," by Alistair Raymond Russel
> Forrest and Patrick Robert Carnegie., "Biotechniqes," 1994, vol.
> 17, no 1, pp. 24-26. The report reads in part:
> "To protect both producers and consumers from illegal substitution
> of cheaper meats for expensive meats, it is necessary to have
> tests available that are effective with both cooked and processed
> meats.... This high cost of development cannot be justified for
> gourmet meats, such as emu, crocodile, and buffalo... As an
> example of the application of the improved FINS technique, a
> sample of an emu shish kebab ordered at a local restaurant was
> analyzed..." It was found that the "emu" shish kebab was actually
> buffalo shish keb.
>
> "A Partial Form of Lycanthropy with Hair Delusion in a Manic-
> Depressive Patient," by H. Verdoux and M. Bourgeois, "British
> Journal of Psychiatry," vol. 163, pp. 685-686.
>
> "Rewarming Hypothermic Animals with Microwaves," by Ken Bartels,
> "Veterinary Forum," March 1994, pp. 28 and following.
>
> OTHER KEY PIECES OF WORK COLLATED
>
> BIOLOGY. Peter Fong of Gettysburg College, Gettysburg,
> Pennsylvania, for contributing to the happiness of clams by giving
> them Prozac.
> REFERENCE: "Induction and Potentiation of Parturition in
> Fingernail Clams (Sphaerium striatinum) by Selective Serotonin Re-
> Uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)," Peter F. Fong, Peter T. Huminski, and
> Lynette M. D'urso, "Journal of Experimental Zoology, vol. 280,
> 1998, pp. 260-64.
>
> CHEMISTRY. Jacques Benveniste of France for his homeopathic
> discovery that not only does water have memory, but that the
> information can be transmitted over telephone lines and the
> Internet.
> REFERENCE:"Transatlantic Transfer of Digitized Antigen Signal by
> Telephone Link," J. Benveniste, P. Jurgens, W. Hsueh and J. Aissa,
> "Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology - Program and
> abstracts of papers to be presented during scientific sessions
> AAAAI/AAI.CIS Joint Meeting February 21-26, 1997."
>
> SCIENCE EDUCATION. Dolores Krieger, Professor Emerita, New
> York University, "for demonstrating the merits of therapeutic
> touch, a method by which nurses manipulate the energy fields of
> ailing patients by carefully avoiding physical contact with those
> patients."
>
> STATISTICS. Jerald Bain of Mt. Sinai Hospital in Toronto and
> Kerry Siminoski of the University of Alberta for their carefully
> measured report, "The Relationship Among Height, Penile Length,
> and Foot Size."
> REFERENCE: The paper was published in "Annals of Sex Research,"
> vol. 6, no. 3, 1993, pp. 231-5.
>
> ECONOMICS. Richard Seed of Chicago for his efforts to stoke
> up the world economy by cloning himself and other human beings.
> CONTACT: Richard Seed, 708-442-0500, FAX 708-442-1500
> <[email protected]>
>
> MEDICINE. To Patient Y and to his doctors, Caroline Mills,
> Meirion Llewelyn, David Kelly, and Peter Holt, of Royal Gwent
> Hospital, in Newport, Wales, for the cautionary medical report, "A
> Man Who Pricked His Finger and Smelled Putrid for 5 Years."
> REFERENCE: The paper was published in "The Lancet," vol. 348,
> November 9, 1996, p. 1282.
>
> LITERATURE. Dr. Mara Sidoli of Washington, DC, for her
> illuminating report, "Farting as a Defence Against Unspeakable
> Dread."
> REFERENCE: "Farting as a Defence Against Unspeakable Dread," Mara
> Sidoli, "Journal of Analytical Psychology," vol. 41, no. 2, 1996,
> pp. 165-78.
>
> ENTOMOLOGY: Mark Hostetler of the University of Florida, for his
> scholarly book, "That Gunk on Your Car," which identifies the
> insect splats that appear on automobile window. The book is
> published by Ten Speed Press.
>
> PHYSICS: John Bockris of Texas A&M University, for his wide-
> ranging achievements in cold fusion, in the transmutation of base
> elements into gold, and in the electrochemical incineration of
> domestic rubbish.
>
> MEDICINE: Carl J. Charnetski and Francis X. Brennan, Jr. of Wilkes
> University, and James F. Harrison of Muzak Ltd. in Seattle,
> Washington, for their discovery that listening to elevator Muzak
> stimulates immunoblobulin A (IgA) production, and thus may help
> prevent the common cold.
>
> PEACE: Harold Hillman of the University of Surrey, England for his
> lovingly rendered and ultimately peaceful report "The Possible
> Pain Experienced During Execution by Different Methods."
> [Published in "Perception 1993," vol 22, pp. 745-53.]
>
> METEOROLOGY: Bernard Vonnegut of the State University of Albany,
> for his revealing report, "Chicken Plucking as Measure of Tornado
> Wind Speed." [Published in "Weatherwise," October 1975, p. 217.
> NOTE: Bernard Vonnegut passed away in the spring of 1997. A further note
> of
> interest: Bernard was the older brother of novelist Kurt
> Vonnegut.]
>
> BIOLOGY Anders Baerheim and Hogne Sandvik of the University of
> Bergen, Norway, for their tasty and tasteful report, "Effect of
> Ale, Garlic, and Soured Cream on the Appetite of Leeches." [The
> report was published in "British Medical Journal," vol. 309, Dec
> 24-31, 1994, p. 1689.]
>
> PHYSICS Robert Matthews of Aston University, England, for his
> studies of Murphy's Law, and especially for demonstrating that
> toast always falls on the buttered side. [The report, "Tumbling
> toast, Murphy's Law and the fundamental constants" was published
> in "European Journal of Physics," vol.16, no.4, July 18, 1995, p.
> 172-6.]
>
> PUBLIC HEALTH Ellen Kleist of Nuuk, Greenland and Harald Moi of
> Oslo, Norway, for their cautionary medical report "Transmission of
> Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll." [The report was published
> in "Genitourinary Medicine," vol. 69, no. 4, Aug. 1993, p. 322.]
>
> LITERATURE The editors of the journal "Social Text," for eagerly
> publishing research that they could not understand, that the
> author said was meaningless, and which claimed that reality does
> not exist. [The paper was "Transgressing the Boundaries: Toward a
> Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity," Alan Sokal,
> "Social Text," Spring/Summer 1996, pp. 217-252.]
>
> ECONOMICS Dr. Robert J. Genco of the University of Buffalo for
> his discovery that "financial strain is a risk indicator for
> destructive periodontal disease."
>
> NUTRITION John Martinez of J. Martinez & Company in Atlanta, for
> Luak Coffee, the world's most expensive coffee, which is made from
> coffee beans ingested and excreted by the luak (aka, the palm
> civet), a bobcat-like animal native to Indonesia.
>
> PHYSICS D.M.R. Georget, R. Parker, and A.C. Smith, of the
> Institute of Food Research, Norwich, England, for their rigorous
> analysis of soggy breakfast cereal, published in the report
> entitled 'A Study of the Effects of Water Content on the
> Compaction Behaviour of Breakfast Cereal Flakes." [Published in
> the research journal "Powder Technology," November, 1994, vol. 81,
> no. 2, pp. 189-96.]
>
> MEDICINE Marcia E. Buebel, David S. Shannahoff-Khalsa, and
> Michael R. Boyle, for their invigorating study entitled "The
> Effects of Unilateral Forced Nostril Breathing on Cognition."
> [Published in "International Journal of Neuroscience," vol. 57,
> 1991, pp. 239-249.]
>
> LITERATURE David B. Busch and James R. Starling, of Madison
> Wisconsin, for their deeply penetrating research report, "Rectal
> foreign bodies: Case Reports and a Comprehensive Review of the
> World's Literature." The citations include reports of, among other
> items: seven light bulbs; a knife sharpener; two flashlights; a
> wire spring; a snuff box; an oil can with potato stopper; eleven
> different forms of fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs; a
> jeweler's saw; a frozen pig's tail; a tin cup; a beer glass; and
> one patient's remarkable ensemble collection consisting of
> spectacles, a suitcase key, a tobacco pouch and a magazine.
> [Published in the medical journal "Surgery," September 1986, pp.
> 512-519.]
>
> PUBLIC HEALTH Martha Kold Bakkevig of Sintef Unimed in Trondheim,
> Norway, and Ruth Nielson of the Technical University of Denmark,
> for their exhaustive study, "Impact of Wet Underwear on
> Thermoregulatory Responses and Thermal Comfort in the Cold."
> [Published in "Ergonomics," vol 37, no. 8, Aug. 1994 , pp. 1375-
> 89.]
>
> DENTISTRY Robert H. Beaumont, of Shore View, Minnesota, for his
> incisive study "Patient Preference for Waxed or Unwaxed Dental
> Floss." [Published in the research journal "Journal of
> Periodontology," vol. 61, no. 2, Feb. 1990, pp. 123-5.
>
> BIOLOGY W. Brian Sweeney, Brian Krafte-Jacobs, Jeffrey W. Britton,
> and Wayne Hansen, for their breakthrough study, "The Constipated
> Serviceman: Prevalence Among Deployed US Troops," and especially
> for their numerical analysis of bowel movement frequency. [The
> study was published in "Military Medicine," vol. 158, August,
> 1993, pages 346-348.]
>
> MEDICINE First, to Patient X,
> formerly of the US Marine Corps, valiant victim of a venomous bite
> from his pet rattlesnake, for his determined use of electroshock
> therapy -- at his own insistence, automobile sparkplug wires were
> attached to his lip, and the car engine revved to 3000 rpm for
> five minutes. Second, to Dr. Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain
> Poison Center and Dr. Richard A. Gustafson of The University of
> Arizona Health Sciences Center, for their well-grounded medical
> report: "Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake
> Envenomation." [The report was published in "Annals of Emergency
> Medicine," vol. 20, no. 6, June 1991, pp. 659-661.]
>
> ENTOMOLOGY Robert A. Lopez of Westport, NY, valiant veterinarian
> and friend of all creatures great and small, for his series of
> experiments in obtaining ear mites from cats, inserting them into
> his own ear, and carefully observing and analyzing the results.
> [Dr. Lopez's report was published in "The Journal of the American
> Veterinary Society," vol. 203, no. 5, Sept. 1, 1993, pp. 606-607.]
>
> PHYSICS The Japanese Meterological Agency, its seven-year
> study of whether earthquakes are caused by catfish wiggling their
> tails.
>
> ECONOMICS Jan Pablo Davila of Chile, tireless trader of financial
> futures and former employee of the state-owned Codelco Company,
> for instructing his computer to "buy" when he meant "sell," and
> subsequently attempting to recoup his losses by making
> increasingly unprofitable trades that ultimately lost .5 percent
> of Chile's gross national product. Davila's relentless achievement
> inspired his countrymen to coin a new verb: "to davilar," meaning,
> "to botch things up royally."
>
>
> RAD SAUSAGES
> "Gamma Radurisation of Vienna Sausages," M.L Wessels, A. du
> Plessis, Food Ind. S. Afr., vol. 45, no. 6, 1992, pp. 14-15.
>
> REACH FOR THE SUN
> "Viagra makes flowers stand up straight," Judy Siegel-Itzkovich,
> British Medical Journal, vol. 319, no. 7205, July 31, 1999, p.
> 274A.
> The author reports that:
> 1 mg of the drug (compared with 50 mg in one pill taken
> by impotent men) in a solution was enough to prevent two
> vases of cut flowers from wilting for as much as a week
> longer than might be expected.
>
> ScandalOUS Spud STORY
> "Hot Potatoes in the Gray Literature," Brian Pon & Alan Meier,
> Recent Research in the Building Energy Analysis Group [Lawrence
> Berkeley Laboratory], no. 3, October 1993. The report explains
> that:
> Utilities generate numerous reports, technical memos,
> and evaluations which are never catalogued or published.
> [We] assessed this uncatalogued, or "gray," literature....
> One of the more interesting examples was a reference to
> electrical ignitors in new gas ovens. [Using that data, we
> discovered that modern] gas ovens use more electricity
> than microwaves to bake a single potato!
>
> THE ARGUMENT FOR SUBWAYS
> "Taxi rank malaria," D.N. Durrheim, British Medical Journal, vol.
> 311, no. 7018, December 2, 1995, p. 1507.
>
> FOR PRECISION DINING
> "The density of cream cheese" [article in German], K. Rambke and
> H. Konrad, Nahrung, vol. 16, no. 5, 1972, pp. 461-6.
>
> COMBINATION THERAPY
> "Effects of high-speed drill noise and gunfire on dentists'
> hearing," W.D. Ward and C.J. Holmberg, Journal of the American
> Dental Association, vol. 79, no. 6, December 1969, pp. 1383-7.
>
>
> SOMETHING TO CHEW ON
> "Cannibalism: ecology and evolution among diverse taxa", M.A.
> Elgar and B.J. Crespi (editors), Oxford University Press, 1992.
> On page 361 the paper gets right to the nub of the matter:
> "Cannibalism is a particularly antisocial form
> of behaviour".
>
> A FLOW FUNCTION
> "Beer consumption as a function of music and the presence of
> others," D.R. Drews, D.B. Vaughn, and A. Anfiteatro, "Journal of
> the Pennsylvania Academy of Science," vol. 65, no. 3, 1992, pp.
> 134-6. The authors determined that:
> "Both the presence of music and of drinking partners
> increased the length of stay and music increased
> the amount consumed."
>
> YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS
> "The stressful kiss: A biopsychosocial evaluation of the origins,
> evolution, and societal significance of vampirism," Donald R.
> Morse, "Stress Medicine," vol. 9, no. 3, 1993, pp. 181-9. The author
> explains his work thusly:
> "In addition to the mythological concepts, vampirism is
> considered scientifically. This includes the anatomical,
> physiological, and stress-related aspects of love-, vampire-, and
> lethal biting.... On the positive side, vampirism can provide
> temporary escape from the stressors of the 1990s; on the negative
> side is the sinister nature of engaging in ritualistic, cultic
> vampirism. The need is expressed for extensive psychological and
> physiological testing of modern day vampires to determine if there
> are psychological patterns that would predispose a person to
> becoming a 'vampire.'"
>
> RECYCLED PHILOSOPHY
> "Saving eliminativism," R. Bertolet, "Philosophical Psychology,"
> vol. 7, 1994, pp. 87-100.
>
> SWELL OLD SHEEP
> "Swelled Head in Merino Rams. An Unfinished Description of an
> Enquiry Into This Condition," S. Dodd, "Journal of the Royal
> Society of New South Wales," vol. 61, 1927, pp. 135-148. [Found
> among his papers after his death.]
>
> 1978: PRENTICE LOOKS AT THE BIG THREE
> "Imaginary Figures of Early Childhood: Santa Claus, Easter Bunny,
> and the Tooth Fairy," N.M. Prentice, M. Manosevitz, and L. Hubbs,
> "American Journal of Orthopsychiatry," October 1978, vol. 48, no.
> 4, pp. 618-28. The abstract reads in part:
> "The developmental progression of children's belief in three
> major figures of early childhood was examined... Belief in Santa
> Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy varied with the
> child's age and the level of parental encouragement of belief.
> However, belief in these figures was unrelated to other indices of
> the child's fantasy involvement."
>
> 1979: PRENTICE ZEROES IN ON SANTA
> "Children's Belief in Santa Claus: a developmental study of
> fantasy and causality," N.M. Prentice, L.K. Schmechel, and M.
> Manosevitz, "Journal of the American Academy of Child Psychiatry,"
> vol. 18, no. 4, Autumn 1979, pp. 658-67.
>
> 1994: PRENTICE PLUMBS THE VERY DEPTHS
> "Encounter With Reality: Children's Reactions on Discovering the
> Santa Claus Myth," C.J. Anderson and N.M. Prentice, "Child
> Psychiatry and Human Development," vol. 25, no. 2, Winter 1994,
> pp. 67-84. The abstract reads in part:
> "Children generally discovered the truth on their own at age
> seven. Children reported predominantly positive reactions on
> learning the truth. Parents, however, described themselves as
> predominantly sad in reaction to their child's discovery."
>
> 1996: NELMS POSES THE QUESTION, POINT BLANK
> "Santa Claus: Good or Bad for Children?," B.C. Nelms, "Journal of
> Pediatric Health Care," November/December 1996, vol. 10, no. 6,
> pp. 243-4.
>
> [In case you need more info, consult the researchers themselves:
> Norman M. Prentice, professor at the Department of Psychology of
> the University of Texas at Austin; and Bobbie Crew Nelms, editor
> of the Journal of Pediatric Health Care.]
>
> THE NOSE KNOWS
> "Forced single-nostril breathing and cognition," B. Sanders, C.
> Lattimore, K. Smith, and L. Dierker, "Perceptual and Motor
> Skills," vol. 79, 1994, pp. 1499-1506.
>
> BITTER END
> "The immobilization of all spermatozoa in vitro by bitter lemon
> drink and the effect of alkaline pH," P.U. Nwoha, "Contraception,"
> vol. 46, 1992, pp. 37-542.
>
> HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES
> "Fracture Testing of Cream Cracker Biscuits," T.R. Gromley,
> "Journal of Food Engineering," vol. 6, 1987, pp. 325-32.
>
> NATURAL IS BETTER
> "Natural sniffing gives optimum odor perception for humans," D.G.
> Laing, "Perception," vol. 12, 1983, pp. 99-117.
>
> ARTS & SCIENCES
> "Chemical Ornaments of Semen," Carlos Cordero, "Journal of
> Theoretical Biology," vol. 192, no. 4, June 21 1998, pp. 581-4.
>
> IN THE NURTURE OF THINGS?
> "Frequency of Pubic Hair Transfer During Sexual Intercourse," D.L.
> Exline, F.P. Smith, and S.G. Drexler, "Journal of Forensic
> Sciences," vol. 43, no. 3, 1998, pp. 505-8.
>
> NUMBER CRUNCHING
> "Fracture Force, Hardness and Brittleness in Crisp Bread, with a
> Generalized Regression Analysis approach to Instrument-Sensory
> Comparisons," Y. Andersson, B. Drake, et al., "Journal of Texture
> Studies," vol. 4, 1973, pp. 119-44.
>
> STROLLING IN STYLE
> "Leg movements of stick insects walking with five legs on a
> treadwheel and with one leg on a motor-driven belt. II. Leg
> coordination when step-frequencies differ from leg to leg," E.
> Foth, U. Bassler, Biological Cybernetics, vol. 51, no. 5, 1985,
> pp. 319-24.
>
> A WHIFF OF THE HEREAFTER
> "Fatal arrhythmia following deodorant inhalation: case report,"
> R.C. Kamm, Forensic Science, vol. 5, no. 1, February 1, 1975, pp.
> 91-3.
>
> HELP FOR PORE PEOPLE
> "A new approach to analysis of human sweating," M. Shimazu, T.
> Matsumoto, et al., "Experientia," vol. 52, no. 2, 1996, pp. 131-5.
>
> ALIMENTARY ANALYSES
> "Characteristics of the white sausage from the Las Cuatro Villas
> area: I. Production and Chemical composition," L. Tudela, R.
> Millan, E Sanjuan, M. Castelo, J.C. Penedo, J.M. Mangas, S.
> Estupinan, and A. Cordona, "Alimentaria," vol. 34, no. 271, 1996,
> pp. 51-6.
>
> BIRTH OF THE BIG BANG THEORY
> "Nitroglycerine to Facilitate Fetal Extraction During Cesearean
> Delivery," M. David, H. Halle, W. Lichtenegger, P. Sinha, and T.
> Zimmerman, "Obstetrics and Gynecology," vol. 91, no. 1, January
> 1998, pp. 119-24.
>
> THOUGHT FOR FOOD
> "How to be a Fig," D.H. Janzen, "Annual Review of Ecology and
> Systematics 10," 1979, pp. 13-51.
>
> IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING
> "Acoustic characteristics of less-masculine-sounding male speech,"
> Jack D. Avery and Julie M. Liss, "Journal of the Acoustical
> Society of America," vol. 99, no. 6, June 1996, pp. 3738-48.
>
> FOR BEAN COUNTERS
> "What to do with the bean from a patient's ear," R. Cranshaw,
> "Archives of Internal Medicine," vol. 131, no. 2, Feb. 1973, pp.
> 278-9.
>
> SCHOLARLY DISGUST
> "Categories of disgust: a factor analysis study, Karen Barker and
> Graham C.L. Davey, Cognitive Science Research Paper 471,
> University of Sussex, December 1997. (Thanks to Shimon Edelman for
> bringing this to our attention.) The abstract reads:
> "This paper describes two studies based on a factor analysis of
> disgusts. The results revealed that disgusts could be grouped into
> five categories representing foodstuffs of animal origin, human
> body and body products, invertebrate animals, gastro-enteric
> products and sexual practices. The factor structures for males and
> females and student and employed populations were comparable
> except for some minor differences, and females exhibited
> significantly higher disgust scores on all disgust categories
> except gastro-enteric products. Scores on all five categories were
> all highly inter-correlated and also significantly correlated with
> an independent measure of disgust sensitivity."
>
> "The Dielectric Properties of Apples in the Range 0.1 to 100 kHz,"
> F.X. Hart and W.H. Cole, "Journals of Materials Science," vol. 28,
> 1993, pp. 621-31.
>
> "Association between toenail selenium and risk of acute myocardial
> infarction in European men -- The EURAMIC study," A.F.M.
> Kardinaal, F.J. Kok, et al., "American Journal of Epidemiology,"
> vol. 145, no. 4, pp. 373-9, 1997.
>
> TACKLING COMPLEXITY
> "The effect of dexfenfluramine on eating habits in a Dutch
> ambulatory android overweight population with an overconsumption
> of snacks." M.L. Drent, et al., "International Journal of Obesity
> and Related Metabolic Disorders, vol. 19, no. 5, 1995, pp. 299-
> 304.
>
> BE PREPARED
> "Pre-copulatory ejaculation solves time constraints during
> copulations in marine iguanas," M. Wikelski and B. Eurle,
> "Proceedings of the Royal Society of London Series B (Biological
> Sciences)," vol. 263, no. 1369, 1996, pp. 439-44.
>
> "Induction of ear wiggling in the estrous female rat by
> gonadectomized rats treated with androgens and estrogens," J.T.M.
> Vreeburg and M.P. Ooms, "Hormones and Behavior," vol. 19, 1985,
> pp. 231-6.
>
> SPECIOUS FASHIONS
> "Survival of ring-necked pheasants with backpacks, necklaces and
> leg bands," V. Marcstroem, R.E. Kenward, and M. Karlbom, "Journal
> of Wildlife Management, vol. 53, no. 3, 1989, pp. 808-10.
>
> HIS MIDDLE NAME ISN'T DANGER
> "Risk Handbook," John C. Chicken, International Thomson Business
> Press, London, 1996.
>
> CHEESE WITH A BITE
> "Behavioural and electrophysiological responses of the female
> malaria mosquito Anopheles gambiae (Diptera: Culicidae) to
> Limburger cheese volatiles," "Bulletin of Entomological Research,"
> B.G.J. Knols, J.J.A. van Loon, A. Cork, R.D. Robinson, et al.,
> vol. 87, 1997, pp. 151-159. Leunissen reports that, "This article is
> very interesting (for me as a native Limburger, and lover of the
> cheese) in that the authors use Limburger cheese and its volatile
> extracts as an analogon for human foot odour, as they had
> concluded in a previous paper that A. gambiae attacked by
> preference at feet and ankles of a naked human volunteer."
>
> BARS AND STARS -- A MATTER OF INFLUENCE
> "The Influence of Bars on Nuclear Activity," Luis C. Ho, Alexei V.
> Filippenko, Wallace L. W. Sargent, to appear in "Astrophysical
> Journal." The preprint is available at
> http://xxx.lanl.gov/archive/astro-ph/
> The authors report that:
> "The presence of a bar seems to have no noticeable impact on the
> likelihood of a galaxy to host either nuclear star formation or an
> active galactic nuclei."
>
> SENSE AND SENSIBILITY
> "Effects of body weight on the taste of male and female rats," B.S.
> Roo, "Indian Journal of Pharmacology," vol. 28, no. 1, 1984, pp.
> 53-7.
>
> FOR THE BIRDS
> "Skylark optimal flight speeds for flying nowhere and somewhere,"
> A. Henderstrom and T. Alerstam, Behavioral Ecology., vol. 7, no.
> 2, 1996, pp. 121-6.
>
> MAD FOR THE MOVIES
> "Images of Madness in the Films of Walt Disney," Allen Beveridge,
> "Psychiatric Bulletin," vol. 20, 1966, pp. 618-620.
>
> INTELLECTUAL STATURE
> "Nerd Harassment, incentives, school priorities and learning,"
> John H. Bishop, "CAHRS [Cornell Center for Advanced Human
> Resources Studies] Working Papers," no. 96-09, [working paper #96-
> 10], 1996, pp. 43-45.
>
> NERVOUS NELLY'S KNUCKLE
> "Effect of Habitual Knuckle Cracking on Hand Function," J.
> Castellanos and D. Axelrod, "Annals of the Rheumatic Diseases,"
> vol. 49, no. 5, May, 1990, pp. 308-9.
>
> IMMINENTLY SLIPSHOD
> "The effect of gamma radiation on the ultrastructure of the peel
> of banana fruits," M.T. Smith, G.J. Strydom, and J. van Staden,
> "Environ. Exp. Bot.," v. 31, no. 1, 1991, pp. 43-9.
>
> "On journeys to the Moon by balloon," Walter Simon, "Classical
> Quantum Gravitation," vol. 10, 1993, pp. 177-181.
> The abstract reads in part:
> "We give inequalities for the equation of state of a
> static perfect fluid in Newton's theory and in an
> asymptotically flat spacetime in relativity which ensure
> finite extension of the fluid region. In the relativistic
> case, our condition is closely related to one which is
> known to imply, for given surface potential, uniqueness of
> the solution (when its existence is assumed). Our results
> cast doubts on reported early journeys to the Moon."
>
> "The self/nonself discrimination: reconstructing a cabbage from
> sauerkraut," M. Cohn, "Research in Immunology, " vol. 143, no. 3,
> Mar-Apr 1992, pp. 323-34.
>
> "Size matters when three-spined sticklebacks go to school," E.
> Ranta, K. Lindstrom and M. Peuhkuri, "Animal Behaviour," vol. 43,
> no. 1, 1992, p. 160 ff.
>
> "Should you brush your teeth on 6 November, 1984?", A. Wuffle,
> "Political Science," vol. 17, 1984, pp. 577-81.
>
> "Female gait patterns: the influences of footwear," R.W. Soames
> and A.A. Evans, Ergonomics, vol. 30, 1987, pp. 893-900.
>
> "Theoretical analysis of aggressive golf putts," J.F. Mahoney,
> "Res. Q. Exercise Sport," vol. 53, 1983, pp. 165-72.
>
> "Avalanche dynamics in a pile of rice," V.Frette, K.Christensen,
> P.Meakin, "Nature," vol. 379, no. 6560, p. 49.
>
> "Partitioning behavior and off-flavor thresholds in cookies from
> plastic packaging film printing ink compounds," G.W. Halek,
> "Journal of Food Science," vol. 53, no. 6, Nov. 1, 1988, p. 1806.
>
> "Retching: its causes and management in prosthetic practice," M.J.
> Faigenblum, "British Dental Journal," vol. 125, pp. 485-90.
>
> "Salivary Testosterone Levels in Left and Right Handed Adults,"
> S.D. Moffat, E. Hampson, "Neuropsychologia," vol. 34, no. 3, Mar.
> 4, 1996, pp. 225-33.
>
> "Reestablishment of male sexual function and appearance 23 years
> after alligator induced traumatic orchiectomy and penile
> lacerations," N.M. Katlowitz, A. Fliescher, A.E. Benet, "Journal
> of Urology," vol. 153, no. 6, Jun 1995, pp. 1929-30.
>
> "The Dielectric Spectra of Heated Potatoes." F.X. Hart and B.
> Bodakian, "Journal of Materials Science Letters," vol. 14, 1995,
> pp. 1214-1217. The authors report activation energies for
> conductance change upon heating potatoes in a microwave oven.
> They observe a surprising difference in dielectric spectra between
> potatoes heated to 95 degrees C and to 105 degrees C, and
> speculate that this might have something to do with the fact that
> the boiling point of water falls between these two temperatures.
>
> "Regional Shellfish Production and Training, 1985 Annual Report,"
> G.A. Heslinga, T.C. Watson and T. Isamu, Koror, Republic of
> Palau, 1985.
>
> "Dry sex in Zimbabwe and implications for condom use," D.Civic and
> D.Wilson, "Social Science and Medicine," vol. 42, no. 1, 1996.
>
> "Bungee running: a further report," M.E. Lovell and V.P. Bradley,
> "British Journal of Sports Medicine," vol. 29, no. 1, Mar. 1995,
> p. 12, 1995. The abstract reads:
>
> Further to the report from Queen Mary's NHS Trust on bungee
> running affecting children, we present three cases of injury
> in adults. Two cases of injury presented to Noble's (Isle of
> Man) Hospital and one to Whiston Hospital, Merseyside. In
> all three cases, the competitors were trying to stretch the
> 'bungee' to grasp a pint of beer as a prize, much enthusiasm
> being shown by spectators. All injuries occurred when the
> competitors were catapulted backwards with some force.
>
> "A study of the influence of ageing on the mechanical properties
> of Cheddar cheese," by M. N. Charalambides, J. G. Williams, and S.
> Chakrabarti, "Journal of Materials Science," vol. 30, 1995, pp.
> 3959-3967. This research appears to have been conducted
> completely independently from that of Banjamin Waggoner, whose
> study, "Evolutionary Relationships Among Cheeses," was published
> in "The Annals of Improbable Research," vol. 1, no. 3, May/Jun
> 1995.
>
> "Manhole Covers," by Mimi Melnick with photographs by Robert A
> Melnick, MIT Press, 1994.
>
> "Influence of sex on the short-term outcome of elderly patients
> with a first acute myocardial infarction," H. Bueno, M.T. Vidan,
> A. Almazan, J.L. Lopez-Sendon, and J.L. Delcan, "Circulation,"
> vol. 92, no. 5, 1995.
>
> "Ear preference in telephone listening," J. Seeman and W.
> Surwillo, "Perceptual and Motor Skills," vol. 65, 1987, pp. 803-9.
>
> "Do gastroenterologists themselves follow the American Cancer
> Society recommendations for colorectal cancer screening?" "The
> American Journal of Gastroenterology," 1994, vol. 89, no. 12, pp.
> 2184-7. It reads in part:
> "Currently, the ACS recommends a yearly digital rectal exam for
> persons age 40 and over and yearly fecal occult blood test and
> flexible proctosigmoidoscopy every 3 to 5 years for persons age 50
> and over... Though about two-thirds of gastroenterologists felt
> the ACS guidelines were adequate, only 38% strictly followed them
> themselves. Lack of time, inconvenience, and procrastination were
> the common reasons."
>
> "The use of a foam anesthesia donut for the positioning of a
> patient in the barber chair position", M.L Dvorkin and W. Bradley,
> "Orthopedics," 1995, vol.18, no.3, pp.277-278.
>
> WHEN LUCK STRIKES
> "Precautions when lightning strikes during the monsoon: the effect of
> ozone on condoms," by RF Baker, RP Sherwin, GS Bernstein, et al, "Journal
> of the American Medical Association," vol. 260, no. 10, 1988.
>
> CORK HAZARD
> "Met het oog op... de champagnekurk," J. E. E. Keunen and C. W. J.
> Storimans, "Ned Tijdschr Goneeskd," Vol. 138, no, 52, December 24, 1994,
> pp. 2594-6. Thanks to Peter Kootstra for bringing this to our attention.
> The article is in Dutch; here is the English abstract that accompanies
> it:
> "With an eye on...the champagne cork." Two patients, males of
> 31 and 15 years old, developed blunt injury in one eye, including
> hyphacma, due to a champagne cork. In one patient surgical
> evacuation was performed, the other recovered with drug therapy
> only. Inquiries in other opthalmic departments in the Netherlands
> indicate that this type of trauma seems to be more frequent at the
> turn of the year."
>
> "Sodefrin: A Female-Attracting Peptide Pheromone in Newt
> Cloacal Glands," by S. Kikuyama, F. Toyoda, Y. Ohmiya, K. Matsuda,
> S. Tanaka, H. Hyyashi, "Science," vol. 267, March 17, 1995, p.
> 1643.
>
> 2) ________ (1982) Painless jogging for 15,000 km after a
> lumbrosacral stabilization with screws and cement. Med. J. Aust.
> 1(9):389.
>
> 3) ________ (1993) Sudden death while lawnmowing. Med J. Aust.
> 158(3):216.
>
> "Cannabis in the Ear--the Legal Aspects," by S.R. Saeed, M.S.
> Timms, and T. J. Woolford, "Journal of Laryngology & Otology,"
> vol. 107, no. 10, 1993, p. 979.
>
> "Dissociation between the calcium-induced and voltage-driven
> motility in cochlear outer hair cells from the waltzing guinea
> pig," B. Canlon, B. and D. Dulon, "Journal of Cell Science," vol.
> 104, 1993, pp. 1137-1143.
>
> "Energy of the Closed Universe With Respect to the Gas of Clocks,"
> by N.N. Gorobey and A.S. Lukyanenko, "Classical and Quantum
> Gravity," vol. 10, no. 10, 1993, pp. 2107-2110.
>
> "The effects of chewing gum stick size and duration of chewing on
> salivary flow rate and sucrose and bicarbonate concentrations," M.
> Rosenhek, L. Macpherson, and C. Dawes, "Archives of Oral Biology,"
> vol. 38, no.10, Oct. 1993, pp. 885-891.
>
> "Synergistic activation of Ras and 14-3-3 protein of a mitogen
> activated protein kinase kinase kinase named Ras-dependant
> extracelluar signal regulated kinase kinase stimulator," by K.
> Shimizuet et al, "Journal of Biological Chemistry," vol. 269,
> 1994, p. 22917.
>
> "The deterioration and conservation of chocolate from museum
> collections," by Helen Cox, "Studies in Conservation," vol 38,
> 1993, pp. 217-223.
>
> "Measurement of the vibrational response of porcine lungs to low-
> frequency underwater sound", by Thomas N. Lewis, James S. Martin,
> and Peter H. Rogers, "Journal of the Acoustical Socciety of
> America, vol. 95, no. 5, Pt 2, p 2830.
>
> "Azoreductase Activity in Bacteria Associated with the Greening of
> Instant Chocolate Puddings," "Applied & Environmental Microbiology,"
> Vol.60,#8, pp.3027-3029.
>
> "Wavefront amplitude distribution in the female breast," by Qing
> Zhu and Bernard D. Steinberg, " Journal of the Acoustical Society
> of America," Vol. 96, No 1, July 1994.
>
> "Effects of egg yolk and glycerol levels in lactose-EDTA-EGG yolk
> extender on the motility of frozen-thawed stallion spermatazoa," by
> Cristanelli, M.J., Amann, R.P., Squires, E.L., and Pickett, B.W.,
> "Theriogenology," vol. 24, 1985, pp. 681-686.
>
> "The Dielectric Properties of Meat" by B. Bodakian and F. X. Hart,
> "IEEE Transactions on Dielectrics and Electrical Insulation", Vol.
> 1, No 2, April 1994. The abstract reads in part: "The
> permittivity and conductivity of beef and chicken samples were
> measured in the frequency range of 1 Hz to 1 MHz. Differences were
> observed in these dielectric spectra for commercially purchased,
> as compared to freshly slaughtered samples."
>
> "A Classification of Pure Malt Scotch Whiskies" by F. J. Lapointe
> and P. Legendre, "Applied Statistics", Vol. 43, No 1, pp. 237-257,
> 1994. The authors introduce their study thusly: "Single malts are
> well known by amateurs to differ widely in nose, colour, body,
> palate and finish. The layman interested in discovering the
> diversity of these tasting sensations may wonder how to approach
> the problem: what are the main types of single-malt Scotches, and
> in what way do they differ? This is the type of question that came
> to us after acquainting ourselves with single-malt whiskies during
> and after the 3rd Conference of the International Federation of
> Classification Societies held at Heriot-Watt University in
> Edingburgh, Scotland, in August 1991."
>
> "Identification of Gourmet Meat Using FINS (Forensically
> Informative Nucleotide Sequencing)," by Alistair Raymond Russel
> Forrest and Patrick Robert Carnegie., "Biotechniqes," 1994, vol.
> 17, no 1, pp. 24-26. The report reads in part:
> "To protect both producers and consumers from illegal substitution
> of cheaper meats for expensive meats, it is necessary to have
> tests available that are effective with both cooked and processed
> meats.... This high cost of development cannot be justified for
> gourmet meats, such as emu, crocodile, and buffalo... As an
> example of the application of the improved FINS technique, a
> sample of an emu shish kebab ordered at a local restaurant was
> analyzed..." It was found that the "emu" shish kebab was actually
> buffalo shish keb.
>
> "A Partial Form of Lycanthropy with Hair Delusion in a Manic-
> Depressive Patient," by H. Verdoux and M. Bourgeois, "British
> Journal of Psychiatry," vol. 163, pp. 685-686.
>
> "Rewarming Hypothermic Animals with Microwaves," by Ken Bartels,
> "Veterinary Forum," March 1994, pp. 28 and following.
>
> OTHER KEY PIECES OF WORK COLLATED
>
> BIOLOGY. Peter Fong of Gettysburg College, Gettysburg,
> Pennsylvania, for contributing to the happiness of clams by giving
> them Prozac.
> REFERENCE: "Induction and Potentiation of Parturition in
> Fingernail Clams (Sphaerium striatinum) by Selective Serotonin Re-
> Uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)," Peter F. Fong, Peter T. Huminski, and
> Lynette M. D'urso, "Journal of Experimental Zoology, vol. 280,
> 1998, pp. 260-64.
>
> CHEMISTRY. Jacques Benveniste of France for his homeopathic
> discovery that not only does water have memory, but that the
> information can be transmitted over telephone lines and the
> Internet.
> REFERENCE:"Transatlantic Transfer of Digitized Antigen Signal by
> Telephone Link," J. Benveniste, P. Jurgens, W. Hsueh and J. Aissa,
> "Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology - Program and
> abstracts of papers to be presented during scientific sessions
> AAAAI/AAI.CIS Joint Meeting February 21-26, 1997."
>
> SCIENCE EDUCATION. Dolores Krieger, Professor Emerita, New
> York University, "for demonstrating the merits of therapeutic
> touch, a method by which nurses manipulate the energy fields of
> ailing patients by carefully avoiding physical contact with those
> patients."
>
> STATISTICS. Jerald Bain of Mt. Sinai Hospital in Toronto and
> Kerry Siminoski of the University of Alberta for their carefully
> measured report, "The Relationship Among Height, Penile Length,
> and Foot Size."
> REFERENCE: The paper was published in "Annals of Sex Research,"
> vol. 6, no. 3, 1993, pp. 231-5.
>
> ECONOMICS. Richard Seed of Chicago for his efforts to stoke
> up the world economy by cloning himself and other human beings.
> CONTACT: Richard Seed, 708-442-0500, FAX 708-442-1500
> <[email protected]>
>
> MEDICINE. To Patient Y and to his doctors, Caroline Mills,
> Meirion Llewelyn, David Kelly, and Peter Holt, of Royal Gwent
> Hospital, in Newport, Wales, for the cautionary medical report, "A
> Man Who Pricked His Finger and Smelled Putrid for 5 Years."
> REFERENCE: The paper was published in "The Lancet," vol. 348,
> November 9, 1996, p. 1282.
>
> LITERATURE. Dr. Mara Sidoli of Washington, DC, for her
> illuminating report, "Farting as a Defence Against Unspeakable
> Dread."
> REFERENCE: "Farting as a Defence Against Unspeakable Dread," Mara
> Sidoli, "Journal of Analytical Psychology," vol. 41, no. 2, 1996,
> pp. 165-78.
>
> ENTOMOLOGY: Mark Hostetler of the University of Florida, for his
> scholarly book, "That Gunk on Your Car," which identifies the
> insect splats that appear on automobile window. The book is
> published by Ten Speed Press.
>
> PHYSICS: John Bockris of Texas A&M University, for his wide-
> ranging achievements in cold fusion, in the transmutation of base
> elements into gold, and in the electrochemical incineration of
> domestic rubbish.
>
> MEDICINE: Carl J. Charnetski and Francis X. Brennan, Jr. of Wilkes
> University, and James F. Harrison of Muzak Ltd. in Seattle,
> Washington, for their discovery that listening to elevator Muzak
> stimulates immunoblobulin A (IgA) production, and thus may help
> prevent the common cold.
>
> PEACE: Harold Hillman of the University of Surrey, England for his
> lovingly rendered and ultimately peaceful report "The Possible
> Pain Experienced During Execution by Different Methods."
> [Published in "Perception 1993," vol 22, pp. 745-53.]
>
> METEOROLOGY: Bernard Vonnegut of the State University of Albany,
> for his revealing report, "Chicken Plucking as Measure of Tornado
> Wind Speed." [Published in "Weatherwise," October 1975, p. 217.
> NOTE: Bernard Vonnegut passed away in the spring of 1997. A further note
> of
> interest: Bernard was the older brother of novelist Kurt
> Vonnegut.]
>
> BIOLOGY Anders Baerheim and Hogne Sandvik of the University of
> Bergen, Norway, for their tasty and tasteful report, "Effect of
> Ale, Garlic, and Soured Cream on the Appetite of Leeches." [The
> report was published in "British Medical Journal," vol. 309, Dec
> 24-31, 1994, p. 1689.]
>
> PHYSICS Robert Matthews of Aston University, England, for his
> studies of Murphy's Law, and especially for demonstrating that
> toast always falls on the buttered side. [The report, "Tumbling
> toast, Murphy's Law and the fundamental constants" was published
> in "European Journal of Physics," vol.16, no.4, July 18, 1995, p.
> 172-6.]
>
> PUBLIC HEALTH Ellen Kleist of Nuuk, Greenland and Harald Moi of
> Oslo, Norway, for their cautionary medical report "Transmission of
> Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll." [The report was published
> in "Genitourinary Medicine," vol. 69, no. 4, Aug. 1993, p. 322.]
>
> LITERATURE The editors of the journal "Social Text," for eagerly
> publishing research that they could not understand, that the
> author said was meaningless, and which claimed that reality does
> not exist. [The paper was "Transgressing the Boundaries: Toward a
> Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity," Alan Sokal,
> "Social Text," Spring/Summer 1996, pp. 217-252.]
>
> ECONOMICS Dr. Robert J. Genco of the University of Buffalo for
> his discovery that "financial strain is a risk indicator for
> destructive periodontal disease."
>
> NUTRITION John Martinez of J. Martinez & Company in Atlanta, for
> Luak Coffee, the world's most expensive coffee, which is made from
> coffee beans ingested and excreted by the luak (aka, the palm
> civet), a bobcat-like animal native to Indonesia.
>
> PHYSICS D.M.R. Georget, R. Parker, and A.C. Smith, of the
> Institute of Food Research, Norwich, England, for their rigorous
> analysis of soggy breakfast cereal, published in the report
> entitled 'A Study of the Effects of Water Content on the
> Compaction Behaviour of Breakfast Cereal Flakes." [Published in
> the research journal "Powder Technology," November, 1994, vol. 81,
> no. 2, pp. 189-96.]
>
> MEDICINE Marcia E. Buebel, David S. Shannahoff-Khalsa, and
> Michael R. Boyle, for their invigorating study entitled "The
> Effects of Unilateral Forced Nostril Breathing on Cognition."
> [Published in "International Journal of Neuroscience," vol. 57,
> 1991, pp. 239-249.]
>
> LITERATURE David B. Busch and James R. Starling, of Madison
> Wisconsin, for their deeply penetrating research report, "Rectal
> foreign bodies: Case Reports and a Comprehensive Review of the
> World's Literature." The citations include reports of, among other
> items: seven light bulbs; a knife sharpener; two flashlights; a
> wire spring; a snuff box; an oil can with potato stopper; eleven
> different forms of fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs; a
> jeweler's saw; a frozen pig's tail; a tin cup; a beer glass; and
> one patient's remarkable ensemble collection consisting of
> spectacles, a suitcase key, a tobacco pouch and a magazine.
> [Published in the medical journal "Surgery," September 1986, pp.
> 512-519.]
>
> PUBLIC HEALTH Martha Kold Bakkevig of Sintef Unimed in Trondheim,
> Norway, and Ruth Nielson of the Technical University of Denmark,
> for their exhaustive study, "Impact of Wet Underwear on
> Thermoregulatory Responses and Thermal Comfort in the Cold."
> [Published in "Ergonomics," vol 37, no. 8, Aug. 1994 , pp. 1375-
> 89.]
>
> DENTISTRY Robert H. Beaumont, of Shore View, Minnesota, for his
> incisive study "Patient Preference for Waxed or Unwaxed Dental
> Floss." [Published in the research journal "Journal of
> Periodontology," vol. 61, no. 2, Feb. 1990, pp. 123-5.
>
> BIOLOGY W. Brian Sweeney, Brian Krafte-Jacobs, Jeffrey W. Britton,
> and Wayne Hansen, for their breakthrough study, "The Constipated
> Serviceman: Prevalence Among Deployed US Troops," and especially
> for their numerical analysis of bowel movement frequency. [The
> study was published in "Military Medicine," vol. 158, August,
> 1993, pages 346-348.]
>
> MEDICINE First, to Patient X,
> formerly of the US Marine Corps, valiant victim of a venomous bite
> from his pet rattlesnake, for his determined use of electroshock
> therapy -- at his own insistence, automobile sparkplug wires were
> attached to his lip, and the car engine revved to 3000 rpm for
> five minutes. Second, to Dr. Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain
> Poison Center and Dr. Richard A. Gustafson of The University of
> Arizona Health Sciences Center, for their well-grounded medical
> report: "Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake
> Envenomation." [The report was published in "Annals of Emergency
> Medicine," vol. 20, no. 6, June 1991, pp. 659-661.]
>
> ENTOMOLOGY Robert A. Lopez of Westport, NY, valiant veterinarian
> and friend of all creatures great and small, for his series of
> experiments in obtaining ear mites from cats, inserting them into
> his own ear, and carefully observing and analyzing the results.
> [Dr. Lopez's report was published in "The Journal of the American
> Veterinary Society," vol. 203, no. 5, Sept. 1, 1993, pp. 606-607.]
>
> PHYSICS The Japanese Meterological Agency, its seven-year
> study of whether earthquakes are caused by catfish wiggling their
> tails.
>
> ECONOMICS Jan Pablo Davila of Chile, tireless trader of financial
> futures and former employee of the state-owned Codelco Company,
> for instructing his computer to "buy" when he meant "sell," and
> subsequently attempting to recoup his losses by making
> increasingly unprofitable trades that ultimately lost .5 percent
> of Chile's gross national product. Davila's relentless achievement
> inspired his countrymen to coin a new verb: "to davilar," meaning,
> "to botch things up royally."
>
>
