Minor Strangeness

escargot

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Must be awful to be in a state where you don't know where you are. Ms Petes rescued an elderly gentleman last year who was acting strangely outside her office. It was clear he had some form of dementia and was wearing a special ID bracelet. Chatted to him until the Police arrived. He thought he was in his former home town of Blackburn (he was 50 miles away). Son arrived after being called by the Police. Son apparently could not have cared less. Just awful.
Used to get that on the trains, where an elderly confused person was put onto a service unaccompanied to be met at the other end by relations. The idea was obviously to cross fingers and hope Granny arrived in one piece.

One elderly bloke threw a laminated A4 typed-up page in the rubbish. I nosily took a look and found it was a set of instructions for use in case he went astray, with his journey details and contact numbers for his next of kin.
The man had dementia and there was no chance of his getting off at the right stop.
I took this to the Guard, who went to see Granddad and then rang the next of kin. Stern words were spoken.

As I recall in that particular instance the destination platform staff were alerted and we got Granddad off at the right station but there were no relations there to meet him. Dunno what happened after that.
 

Iris

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One of my friends has an older friend who has worsening dementia who rang and said she wanted to go to lunch at a cafe.
My friend told her it was closed because of lockdown., but she said she was on her way.
Then she rang and said she was lost so she had to get her to find her Melways and worked out where she was using hers as well.
She gave her instructions to look for her car with it's lights on near where the friend goes to have her nails done.
She drove and waited then after some time got a call to say she had ended up near the local airport so gave her instructions again.
She finally drove up behind her and followed her to her home, where she gave her something to eat and instructions on how to get home and to ring when she did.
Then the next day she rang my friend and wanted her to come and sort her paperwork and have dinner.
My friend declined as it's lockdown but when she rang the next day to see if she was ok she heard another friend in the background and she was sorting the paperwork.
 

escargot

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People with dementia should maybe wear GPS tags... perhaps?
There are already such gadgets for people with dementia. They might be a good idea except that anyone who'd need one shouldn't really be out on their own.

GPS tags are also available for outdoor clothing like ski suits. Makes sense.

Techy and I have a GPS tracking app on our phones so we know where each other is.
 

Iris

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The woman is 84 and has a son and daughter as well as a younger boyfriend ( and money). My friend is getting a bit tired of constantly having to help and hopes to stand back a bit as she has problems of her own.
 

escargot

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One of my friends has an older friend who has worsening dementia who rang and said she wanted to go to lunch at a cafe.
My friend told her it was closed because of lockdown., but she said she was on her way.
Then she rang and said she was lost so she had to get her to find her Melways and worked out where she was using hers as well.
She gave her instructions to look for her car with it's lights on near where the friend goes to have her nails done.
She drove and waited then after some time got a call to say she had ended up near the local airport so gave her instructions again.
She finally drove up behind her and followed her to her home, where she gave her something to eat and instructions on how to get home and to ring when she did.
Then the next day she rang my friend and wanted her to come and sort her paperwork and have dinner.
My friend declined as it's lockdown but when she rang the next day to see if she was ok she heard another friend in the background and she was sorting the paperwork.
This won't end well. Dementia typically gets worse faster as time goes on, it's rarely a slow deterioration.
I used to work in that field and saw it a lot. :(
 

escargot

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The woman is 84 and has a son and daughter as well as a younger boyfriend ( and money). My friend is getting a bit tired of constantly having to help and hopes to stand back a bit as she has problems of her own.
Some older people will put on whoever they can.

My old dear lives in sheltered housing (think The Golden Girls) and has health problems. One of her neighbours asked her to open the curtains for her one morning, then again next day, then both open and close them and then run the hoover round while she was there...

When I found out it stopped. :wink2:
 

Trevp666

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Dementia typically gets worse faster as time goes on, it's rarely a slow deterioration.


Many, many years ago (I think I was around 14), my Uncle George (my dads older brother but about 20 years older! I'm not sure if or how the age difference was ever explained to us) he started to become a bit confused, but it advanced rapidly over the course of just a couple of weeks.
What first happened was that he had been driving his truck for work and got lost, so he stopped to phone his son to get help with directions.
He was only a couple of miles away, in an area and on a road that he knew really well, so that seemed really odd.
Then about a week later his missus came home one afternoon to find the house all flooded - he had turned on all the taps and had gone out into the garden and started digging up all his cherished roses and other plants for no apparent reason.
He got admitted into West Hendon Hospital (now a housing and retail development) in short order, and then passed away within a couple of weeks.

My dad though, his dementia was only slight, for a lengthy period, and IIRC from the point that he first started noticing cognitive problems, through to when he finally ended up in hospital, was some 8 - 10 years.
 

escargot

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Many, many years ago (I think I was around 14), my Uncle George (my dads older brother but about 20 years older! I'm not sure if or how the age difference was ever explained to us) he started to become a bit confused, but it advanced rapidly over the course of just a couple of weeks.
What first happened was that he had been driving his truck for work and got lost, so he stopped to phone his son to get help with directions.
He was only a couple of miles away, in an area and on a road that he knew really well, so that seemed really odd.
Then about a week later his missus came home one afternoon to find the house all flooded - he had turned on all the taps and had gone out into the garden and started digging up all his cherished roses and other plants for no apparent reason.
He got admitted into West Hendon Hospital (now a housing and retail development) in short order, and then passed away within a couple of weeks.

My dad though, his dementia was only slight, for a lengthy period, and IIRC from the point that he first started noticing cognitive problems, through to when he finally ended up in hospital, was some 8 - 10 years.
(Obligatory I'm Not A Doctor But clause) Your uncle's problem doesn't sound like dementia, more like a brain bleed or a fast-growing tumour.
Poor bloke.
 

Trevp666

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After he carked it my dad asked what 'done for him' and they had a poke around inside his dead body and came to the conclusion that he was otherwise physically okay, so as they couldn't find anything that was likely to have been responsible for him kicking the bucket they gave the cause of death as 'old age'. This was in about 1980, so advanced CAT/PET scans were not a thing AFAIK.
He was 69 I think so not really any age at all. He had been a heavy smoker all his life too though. I don't know if he was a boozer, but I don't think so - his Austrian wife (Auntie Ella) was quite fierce.
 

escargot

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After he carked it my dad asked what 'done for him' and they had a poke around inside his dead body and came to the conclusion that he was otherwise physically okay, so as they couldn't find anything that was likely to have been responsible for him kicking the bucket they gave the cause of death as 'old age'. This was in about 1980, so advanced CAT/PET scans were not a thing AFAIK.
He was 69 I think so not really any age at all. He had been a heavy smoker all his life too though. I don't know if he was a boozer, but I don't think so - his Austrian wife (Auntie Ella) was quite fierce.
Smokers are prone to vascular dementia in later life. Perhaps it was that? Bits of the brain die off, causing tiny strokes.
 

brownmane

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Also diseases like uncontrolled diabetes (high blood sugar numbers) or undiagnosed urinary tract infections or drug reactions can all cause confusion. Not necessarily symptoms of developing dementia. Just to remind/reassured people to have health concerns fully investigated, especially if you are trying to support someone else who may not be "in their right mind" to explain how they are feeling. UTI's are a common one to look into for elderly people. The pain aspect of UTI is not present, but people will exhibit unusual (for them) behaviour.
 

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People with dementia should maybe wear GPS tags... perhaps?
I guess that would be down to whether a court decides if they have the mental capacity to accept having a GPS attached to them. According to Ms PeteS this mental capacity thing , and the rights of an individual to do or not do something or have something done to them or not is a minefield, and something she has to consider on a daily basis. A classic case was only last week when one of her clients was returned from hospital with a DNR notice on his notes. This was because the hospital considered that he had insufficient mental capacity to discuss the matter with him (he is hard of hearing). Ms PeteS went beserk.
 

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It is horrifying really, how many people in quite advanced stages of 'not being right' in various ways are still driving. My friend John has just bought a new car. He came over yesterday to tell me how bad his depth perception has got and how he can't reach out and pick something up that's in front of him, because he can't judge where it is. He DROVE OVER to tell me this. I tactfully mentioned that maybe he ought to give up driving, but a) he's just bought a new car and b) he lives in the middle of nowhere so I don't see that happening any time soon.
 

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It is horrifying really, how many people in quite advanced stages of 'not being right' in various ways are still driving. My friend John has just bought a new car. He came over yesterday to tell me how bad his depth perception has got and how he can't reach out and pick something up that's in front of him, because he can't judge where it is. He DROVE OVER to tell me this. I tactfully mentioned that maybe he ought to give up driving, but a) he's just bought a new car and b) he lives in the middle of nowhere so I don't see that happening any time soon.
After my Dad lost much of his vision in one eye, he did try to drive (after being told he was allowed to) - but realised that it might be dangerous. So he gave up, pretty much straight away.
 

escargot

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I guess that would be down to whether a court decides if they have the mental capacity to accept having a GPS attached to them. According to Ms PeteS this mental capacity thing , and the rights of an individual to do or not do something or have something done to them or not is a minefield, and something she has to consider on a daily basis. A classic case was only last week when one of her clients was returned from hospital with a DNR notice on his notes. This was because the hospital considered that he had insufficient mental capacity to discuss the matter with him (he is hard of hearing). Ms PeteS went beserk.
Yup, 'minefield' doesn't BEGIN to describe it.
For a much younger person an inability to discuss the issue of DNR would not result in a DNR order because the default action is to resuscitate.
Just having hearing problems is not an inability to discuss it. I'd be furious too. :mad:
 

Floyd1

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Maybe it depends on the dentist, we had to go private during the lockdown and although it cost a fortune it was more than worth it. I certainly smarten myself up for visits
I have been going private for years. Well worth the extra cost- (although I haven't been for ages due to a slight financial problem). There never even used to be anyone else in the waiting room. Having said that, when I did use the NHS, I never would have turned up smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer. It just wasn't the thing to do.
 

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After my Dad lost much of his vision in one eye, he did try to drive (after being told he was allowed to) - but realised that it might be dangerous. So he gave up, pretty much straight away.
John used to drive so pissed that he couldn't stand. I think he considers his driving to be exemplary now, in comparison.
 

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I have been going private for years. Well worth the extra cost- (although I haven't been for ages due to a slight financial problem). There never even used to be anyone else in the waiting room. Having said that, when I did use the NHS, I never would have turned up smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer. It just wasn't the thing to do.
I think it’s the cigarette that’s surprising. I remember seeing an interview with Brett Anderson of Suede from the mid 1990s where he chained smoked through the whole proceedings, it was surprisingly shocking to see someone smoking indoors on television
 

Floyd1

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I think it’s the cigarette that’s surprising. I remember seeing an interview with Brett Anderson of Suede from the mid 1990s where he chained smoked through the whole proceedings, it was surprisingly shocking to see someone smoking indoors on television
It depends which programme it was on of course, but yes, by the 90s you didn't see it very often. I don't know if you remember 'The Old Grey Whistle Test', but the guests and presenters often smoked, and drank heavily too. But that's different. To do it before a visit to the dentist seems very odd to me. A lack of respect for the dentist for a start.
 

CarlosTheDJ

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It is horrifying really, how many people in quite advanced stages of 'not being right' in various ways are still driving. My friend John has just bought a new car. He came over yesterday to tell me how bad his depth perception has got and how he can't reach out and pick something up that's in front of him, because he can't judge where it is. He DROVE OVER to tell me this. I tactfully mentioned that maybe he ought to give up driving, but a) he's just bought a new car and b) he lives in the middle of nowhere so I don't see that happening any time soon.

My grandad always had a bad memory, but when he got into his 80s it was clear that he was in the early stages of dementia. At that point he was still independent and drove everywhere himself.

One Sunday, my parents were expecting him over for lunch as usual. He rang my mum (in Warwick) to say he was leaving his house (in Stratford-on-Avon) and he would see them in 20 minutes or so.

Half an hour passed, then an hour, then two hours. My mum phoned me in a panic to let me know that Grandad was missing and my dad had gone out to look for him. I was in Brighton, I think she was half-expecting me to say he'd turned up here!

Anyway, 5 hours later, Grandad rolled up at their house and headed in for his dinner. He had no idea where he had been, or even that he was about six hours late. As far as he was concerned he had done the usual drive over and arrived on time.

He voluntarily surrendered his driving licence after that.
 

escargot

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My grandad always had a bad memory, but when he got into his 80s it was clear that he was in the early stages of dementia. At that point he was still independent and drove everywhere himself.

One Sunday, my parents were expecting him over for lunch as usual. He rang my mum (in Warwick) to say he was leaving his house (in Stratford-on-Avon) and he would see them in 20 minutes or so.

Half an hour passed, then an hour, then two hours. My mum phoned me in a panic to let me know that Grandad was missing and my dad had gone out to look for him. I was in Brighton, I think she was half-expecting me to say he'd turned up here!

Anyway, 5 hours later, Grandad rolled up at their house and headed in for his dinner. He had no idea where he had been, or even that he was about six hours late. As far as he was concerned he had done the usual drive over and arrived on time.

He voluntarily surrendered his driving licence after that.
How intriguing though. I wonder where he'd been for so long? He could have decided to park up somewhere and go shopping or for a walk. He'd've appeared perfectly normal to everyone else.

When we hear of time-slips/missing time incidents I'm inclined to think of brain-farts of serious kinds.
 

CarlosTheDJ

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How intriguing though. I wonder where he'd been for so long? He could have decided to park up somewhere and go shopping or for a walk. He'd've appeared perfectly normal to everyone else.

When we hear of time-slips/missing time incidents I'm inclined to think of brain-farts of serious kinds.

We think the most likely explanation is that he took the wrong turn off one of the big roundabouts and ended up on the M40 . Then when he realised he was on the motorway and not the dual carriageway he was miles away and had to negotiate his way back.
 
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