Mumbai Thief Force-Fed 48 Bananas to Recover Gold Chain

Odradek

Is it about a bicycle?
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
33
Likes
67
Points
19
Location
Co Derry
#1
An x-ray revealed on Thursday morning that a metallic object -- purportedly the stolen chain -- was lying in his stomach, proof of the 25-year old thief’s first ever crime.

The woman victim had not yet lodged a compliant so the police interrogated Ghaware who admitted to swallowing the gold chain.

Police arranged for another x-ray on Thursday evening which confirmed the earlier x-ray report. Then it ordered a basketful of bananas and forced Ghaware to eat them till the wee hours.

Early on Friday, he was escorted to the loo by four policemen, who also filmed the morning ablution as the chain finally slithered out of Ghaware’s system.

Police ordered him to wash it with phenyl and placed him under arrest. He was produced before a magistrate on Friday and remanded to custody.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/india...-gold-chain/story-r0nVZcyTMkmuXdmStB7t0M.html
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
27,431
Likes
12,034
Points
284
#3
You can die from eating too many bananas, Peter Andre overconsumed and had to be rushed to hospital. I'd suggest figs as a better alternative.
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
27,431
Likes
12,034
Points
284
#5
If it was figs they wouldn't need to use as many as the entire hands of bananas they stuffed his face with.
 

Dr. Porhoët

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Messages
125
Likes
191
Points
44
#10
You can die from eating too many bananas, Peter Andre overconsumed and had to be rushed to hospital. I'd suggest figs as a better alternative.
Yeah, I was told as a child that a serving of 8 bananas includes a lethal dose of potassium. Many's the time that I've curbed my 'nana intake for fear of death.
 

JamesWhitehead

Piffle Prospector
Joined
Aug 2, 2001
Messages
12,136
Likes
8,877
Points
309
#13
a serving of 8 bananas includes a lethal dose of potassium
This BBC Page addresses that myth.

Catherine Collins, a dietitian at St George's Hospital in London:

"You would probably need around 400 bananas a day to build up the kind of potassium levels that would cause your heart to stop beating... Bananas are not dangerous - and in fact they are, and always have been, very good for you."

The article goes on to say that people with, for instance, kidney disease may already have high Potassium levels and should avoid foods that provide more.

48 bananas may be inhumane but not life-endangering. :bananas:

I never expected to need that emoticon!
 
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
5,771
Likes
4,243
Points
244
#25
Mumbai Police Force Swamped Under Weight of False Confessions

A Mumbai police spokesman has admitted that the city's police force is at breaking point after word of last Thursday's incident leaked to the press. Thousands of monkeys have since confessed to stealing and swallowing expensive items, ranging from jewellery to mountain bikes - and in one instance, a gold plated Daimler Sovereign once owned by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. The banana industry in India, which only last week was the largest exporter of bananas in the world, is in crisis as only nine bananas now remain, in a safety deposit box in Delhi - and two of these have already gone brown.

In a statement the Mumbai chief of police stated: 'You can't move for the little fuckers. There's millions of them. They're queuing up round the block. If only one in ten was telling the truth the value of their stomach contents would add up to the annual GDP of Brazil. We've made hundreds of arrests for throwing nuts at tourists and public masturbation - but have we found a single gold chain? Have we bollocks.'

The scene today outside Mumbai central district police headquarters:

 
Last edited:

skinny

HARD AS NAILS
Joined
May 30, 2010
Messages
7,265
Likes
6,814
Points
284
#26
I know you'll never forgive me, spooks, but that's good satire. Love it.
 
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
5,771
Likes
4,243
Points
244
#27
I know you'll never forgive me, spooks, but that's good satire. Love it.
It took me ten minutes to work out what you were referring to - which I suppose indicates that I don't hold grudges or resent the odd difference of opinion.

(Actually, that's not entirely true - I wouldn't piss on the landlords of the flat next door to mine if they were on fire. But that's about it.)
 

skinny

HARD AS NAILS
Joined
May 30, 2010
Messages
7,265
Likes
6,814
Points
284
#28
Feck. That's as close to a declaration of love I suppose I'll ever get from you. Ten minutes does it for me. Let's start a commune.
 

skinny

HARD AS NAILS
Joined
May 30, 2010
Messages
7,265
Likes
6,814
Points
284
#29
Oh never mind. I liked the monkeys, and the direct contact was semi-meaningful. I take back the love thing. I'd secrete golden beebies for anyone given the right supplicants and enough semillon.
 
Top