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Panic at the bakery

oweny29

oweny29

Gone But Not Forgotten
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This happened in my local bakery a couple of weeks ago.

It was busy, there was a queue. An obese woman with two kids occupied most of the space in the queue. She was in front of me. As she waited, deliberating about cakes and sandwiches, her kids eyed up the crisps. The small room was full of saturday shopping chatter.

Suddenly, the fat lady froze, apparently terrified.

She gasped, "No... This isn't right... Something doesn't feel right in here..."

Then she turned to her kids, one of whom was holding a packet of quavers.

"Stop! Put that down! This isn't right... This feels wrong... We have to get out of here..." - overcome with horror, she snatched the quavers from her kid, threw them in the tray, and shouted, "Come on! Hurry! Something is very wrong! We have to get out of here RIGHT NOW!!! QUICKLY!!!!"

Obviously spooked by something, she legged it, practically dragging her kids and running down the street. She turned a few heads but people generally focused on their lunch.

As for me, I purchased a slice of bread pudding and a cheese roll. For me anyway, it felt right.
 
Was it... Greggs? :shock:
 
escargot1 said:
Was it... Greggs? :shock:
Click to expand...

Had to check out Greggs on the Internet. Looks kinda icky (at least from 6000 miles away). ;)
 
See now if the place had blown up a few minutes later then we'd all feel affirmed in our Fortean-ness (not very nice for everyone in there though - including you).

I wonder if she does that a lot. There's quite a few DSM-IV categories she might have belonged to in that case.
 
Yeah, she does sound like a mentally ill person...
 
Was there any reason you made the point that the woman was obese? Was that relevant? Why didn't you tell us what colour she was as well?
 
I had a similar experience recently where someone appeared to go a bit berserk in a shop when what they were in fact doing was having an argument on their mobile phone via a hands free set.

The off-putting thing was that she was staring at me while she was shouting (people talking on mobile phones tend to gaze straight at strangers in a way that they would not normally do) and there was just enough relevance in what she was saying (and/or in what I misheard her saying) to just about connect it to the situation we were in.
 
oweny29 said:
As for me, I purchased a slice of bread pudding and a cheese roll. For me anyway, it felt right.
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There's a place in Truro that does bread pudding.

That's why I hate going to Truro - the temptation is horrible, and there must be a million calories per portion! :shock:

Just like my mum used to make, too... :(
 
Sounds like a classic panic attack to me. As a past sufferer i can relate to the whole feeling of "SOMETHING" is about to happen" then the fight or flight mechanism will take over. Or, she was distracting everyone whilst her kids snaffled everything they could
 
eyepod said:
Was there any reason you made the point that the woman was obese? Was that relevant? Why didn't you tell us what colour she was as well?
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I didn't "make the point" that she was obese, I merely described the person who was having the experience. Why would you pick out a single word and question it like that, instead of commenting on the experience? Or perhaps you have nothing of use to say.
 
oweny29 said:
eyepod said:
Was there any reason you made the point that the woman was obese? Was that relevant? Why didn't you tell us what colour she was as well?
Click to expand...

I didn't "make the point" that she was obese, I merely described the person who was having the experience. Why would you pick out a single word and question it like that, instead of commenting on the experience? Or perhaps you have nothing of use to say.
Click to expand...

Don't you like Obese people? :roll:

LOL
 
Owen, a word of support, for what it's worth: I thought you told the story well, with a bit of description thrown in which added to a sense of authenticity. I didn't think less of this woman for having being described as obese, but it did mean that I could picture the scene as you saw it.

Of course, if we're going to ban adjectives, suit yourselves, but I think the world would be a duller place without them.
 
Peripart said:
Owen, a word of support, for what it's worth: I thought you told the story well, with a bit of description thrown in which added to a sense of authenticity. I didn't think less of this woman for having being described as obese, but it did mean that I could picture the scene as you saw it.

Of course, if we're going to ban adjectives, suit yourselves, but I think the world would be a duller place without them.
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I agree - on all counts.
 
I agree too, and wondered if the pie shop was a Greggs as the one near us always seems to have HUGE customers.*

There's no getting away from it - pies and obesity go hand-in-hand.
I live near a pie factory and the workers there are mainly on the large side.

*Yes, I do buy pies there. Further discussion would be undignified.
 
Pies are perhaps my favourite food type. I used to be a right porker until I learnt a few years back that (and I have to take a deep breath here and stand on my chair) PIES MAKE YOU FAT. :(

Interesting story anyway, I must say that once or twice in my life I have THOUGHT that exact same thing that the lady did. But to vocalise it like that....that would seem odd.
 
Sounds like someone having a panic attack to me - I guess they can be set off in an individual by something that is completely un noticeable to others around - the poor woman could have had all manner of OCD'S perhaps.
What appeared to be the attitude of the children? maybe you noticed if they were sort of going 'oh here we go again'

I am delighted to say that I am fortunate in living fairly near a superb bakers who do the best bread pudding (after my Mother's of course).
 
Perhaps the pie shop customer had a Road to Damascus-type revelation about the nature of pies and their contribution to her physique.
 
escargot1 said:
Perhaps the pie shop customer had a Road to Damascus-type revelation about the nature of pies and their contribution to her physique.
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LOL :lol:
 
ganesha said:
oweny29 said:
eyepod said:
Was there any reason you made the point that the woman was obese? Was that relevant? Why didn't you tell us what colour she was as well?
Click to expand...

I didn't "make the point" that she was obese, I merely described the person who was having the experience. Why would you pick out a single word and question it like that, instead of commenting on the experience? Or perhaps you have nothing of use to say.
Click to expand...

Don't you like Obese people? :roll:

LOL
Click to expand...

"fat person leaves pie shop without buying anything!"

Yes, that really deserves a thread of its own.

PS, yes I AM fat, which is probably why I picked on that one word. And by mentioning it at all you did, in fact, make a point.
 
eyepod said:
"fat person leaves pie shop without buying anything!"

Yes, that really deserves a thread of its own.

PS, yes I AM fat, which is probably why I picked on that one word. And by mentioning it at all you did, in fact, make a point.
Click to expand...
If "fat person leaves pie shop without buying anything!" was the whole gist of the OP, then clearly, it would be pointless at best, and possibly offensive. But this woman's size was not the point of the tale - her strange Panic behaviour was the important bit.

I'm not exactly rake-thin myself, but I can hardly take offence if someone mentions it, especially if only in passing. As I said, the woman's description was a brief but useful way of picturing the scene. Perhaps we shouldn't mention that she was a woman, lest we suggest that all women are fat? Maybe child-protection rules mean we shouldn't mention the children, in case paedophiles are reading this thread?
 
The word 'fat' wasn't mentioned in the OP. 'Obese' was used instead.

I'm fat and I like pies. I sometimes buy them in shops and sometimes bake my own. Mmm, pies. Think I'll make some today.

Or go to the gym. :(
 
escargot1 said:
The word 'fat' wasn't mentioned in the OP. 'Obese' was used instead.
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Both were.

And they're about the only adjectives in it.

/edit/ although I thought nothing of it until it was pointed out, and I can be quite sensitive on the subject myself. Ho hum.
 
:lol: Obese. Fat. Fat. Obese. I'm definitely off to the gym.
 
I'm fat too.
I have no problems with the use of the words 'fat' and 'obese'.
 
Mythopoeika said:
I'm fat too.
I have no problems with the use of the words 'fat' and 'obese'.
Click to expand...
Same here, AND I have panic attacks and episodes of derealisation etc.
Fat and mad and obese and mentally ill, oh my.
But no kids, thankfully.

So it wasn't me.

;)
 
Sort of related to all the offence I apparently caused, I've coincidentally been writing a novel where an apparently 'obese' baddie conceals a deadly secret under his shirt, and turns out not to be obese at all, cos the thing under his shirt is a deception to make him appear obese (think, stuffing a cushion up your jumper). I did wonder if the lady in the bakery was hiding something of importance within her coat.
 
Perhaps the pie shop customer had a Road to Damascus-type revelation about the nature of pies and their contribution to her physique.
Click to expand...

Or everyone else missed the guy dashing out of the back shouting 'omg it's a cookbook' :shock:
 
I find all the offense about the use of the word Obese more interesting than the story about the pie lover running out of the pie shop, I must say. But then again, I have just been reading Blind Faith by Ben Elton.

'Are you disrespecting by obesity?'

:lol:
 
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