Like Tamyu, I can remember certain dreams from early childhood which remain quite clear and which (unlike ordinary dreams) I've never forgotten. There's no effort involved. They're as much a part of my memory as are real life events. So, again like Tamyu, I'm forced to consider that they may be past-life memories (although I'm unsure if I believe in past lives).
Some dreams have a different quality to that of ordinary dreams. They stay in the mind in the manner of a real-life event that's really been experienced and leave me feeing very fragile and in a state of shock, I suppose you'd call it, the way an upsetting real life event would. Takes a bit of recovering from and takes a while to regain my usual equilibrium.
It's a bit hard to know, with dreams. Sometimes I have precognitive dreams. They're accurate. Then there are the 'real but can't really be real ' ones, even though they feel as if I've actually lived the experience. Then there are ordinary ones. Then there are the 'learning-message' dreams. Since I've begun staying up until dawn on internet though, I rarely remember my dreams. It's only when something happens the next day, that I'll remember the same event from a dream I had the night before.
My brain's pretty scrambled these days because of the idiotic sleep patterns I've established, but I remember when I used to think clearly and a lot deeper than I do now about all this, that I reached the conclusion that some of my dreams are things I'm picking up from other people's real lives -- similar to tuning into the radio or tv. And of course, those who subscribe to the holographic universe theory would tell me this is entirely possible, particularly if you're the sort of person who has accurate precognitive dreams -- which really is nothing more complicated than tuning into future events (even though my precognitive dreams are usually about other people or mundane events).
The dreams I most enjoy, despite the fact they're unsettling as a rule, involve a place I go to when I'm asleep. It looks like this world and the people look like normal people, but the atmosphere is different to anything i've experienced in reality -- impossible to describe, but when I wake up I'm homesick for this place, wherever it is, even though at the same time it's a bit disturbing, weird. The people in these dreams know something I don't. I'm a newcomer there, or out-of-place might be a better description. No, a better description would be to say that they are very familiar in the dream environment, in the place in which the dreams are set -- whereas I'm out of my element there; it's not a place I ordinarily live in. But somehow, I get there in the dreams. And I tag along with them, and they put up with me, the way older children tolerate a younger child who insists on tagging along. And like older children with a younger child, these dream-people sometimes seem a bit cruel, because it amuses them, seeing me attempting to grasp and understand the situation. It's as if I've dropped in on them out of the blue, and they find it interesting to see my reactions.
They tell me things, show me things, teach me things. I know this when I awake, but I can't remember what it is that they've taught me. So I guess it's stored away somewhere and there must be a reason for it.
One of the best things about these particular dreams is the total lack of ego I experience when I'm there. It's like being stripped of all defences and shields and protective mechanisms. It's so nice and relaxing, just being your basic, authentic self. This has the effect of making you 'feel like yourself', yet different. It makes everything seem very clear and light. Everything's very truthful there. The people there make no effort at pretence. If I fail to do something that they are all able to do with ease, they simply watch me struggle with it. They don't help. But they don't judge either. They don't care if I can't keep up with them. They just leave me and go on ahead. They all get on well together. I wander around, sometimes I try all through the dream trying to succeed at one simple thing and still I don't manage it. They're always on an even keel and always seem very contented and relaxed. I love it there, even though I'm not one of them. I really miss it sometimes, with the kind of homesickness you feel for someplace you know very well and really love. I'll have to start getting regular sleep, and then maybe I'll begin having normal sleep and dreaming patterns so I can go back there. I'd love to know where it is.
Other dreams I've had (though not many) seem (when I wake up and it hits me) as if I must be a ghost, sometimes. In one, I hovered. I wasn't aware I was a person. I just hovered in what looked like (afterwards, when I thought about it) a Victorian entry parlour. Everything was dark old fashioned wood. And I was hovering in the dimness, to one side of a hallstand. That was the entire thing. But it's such a precious dream/memory, because of the heavy stillness and the feeling of contentment it gave me. It's stuff like that which inclines me to half believe we may have lived previous lives.
Sometimes, in the middle of an ordinary day, I suddenly find myself wondering if I really do exist, or if this life is an imagining or memory. It sounds pretentious, put that way, but when it occurs (glancing sight of myself in a mirror sometimes triggers it) it causes me to question what I ordinarily regard as reality. After all, how do we know we're Really Here? The slightest shift in perception can create doubt for which there's no actual answer. It fades in an instant and then I think to myself what an idiot i am and then I get on with whatever it is I happen to be doing. But, really, does it matter if we're actually Alive or Here? Would it make any difference if we discovered our lives are an illusion? I don't think it would. And I suspect that dreams are only a hair's-breadth from what we assume to be Reality. The veil between Dream and Reality may not be anywhere near the Great Divide or Separation that we imagine. Dream and Reality may even be superimposed. Interesting.
